AN: Hello :) This is a bit different, and normally I don't like (hate) writing like this but I thought present tense fitted this one-shot ver well :)
Disclamer: I DON'T OWN THE HARRY POTTER WORLD, JK ROWLING DOES, THAT'S WHY SHE'S RICH AND FAMOUS. ME? I'M NOT FAMOUS AND I'M NOT RICH. THE QUOTE THAT IS IN HERE: "Real loss is only possible when when you love something more than you love yourself." I DON'T OWN IT, THE CHARACTER: Sean Maguire SAYS IT IN: Good Will Hunting. AND THE SCREENWRITER OR DIRECTOR I DON'T KNOW WHO WROTE IT, BUT WHO EVER WROTE IT, IT BELONGS TO THAT PERSON!
This little one-shot is written for the Academy Awards Competition in HPFC and ReillyJade (I hope you like it!) gave me the quote :) and my crazy mind came up with this mwhaha :) I hope you like it and enjoy reading this :).
He can't stop shaking. His body trembles as if he is being crucioed. And it hurts so badly that he cries and shouts of anger and loss. And the heart that he thought didn't exist until she was a part of his life feels dead now. It's not pumping like it was before. Everything is so blurry, and color is inexistent as well as any smells.
His wand hexes various things in his room, messing up the bed, and he begins to throw whatever is within reach, not caring to tend to the cut he made himself. It actually makes him stop, because he can see the color. Red. Blood red, like Luna's lips. And he can feel pain. Not only emotionally but now physically too. With a crooked smile he resumes throwing glass, and portraits. All the while he is losing more blood and slowly his sanity.
The shouts from his house elf can be heard outside the door. Begging to let her enter. That everything will be okay.
But Theodore knows that it won't be okay.
Without her he's dead.
He's dying right now.
Air can't enter properly and it hurts to breathe. An anguished sob escapes and with defeated steps he kneels down at the floor. Pulling at his hair, as if with that, he can make his brain stop hurting to stop thinking of her, but that will never happen, she's always present in his mind. He rocks back and forth, trying to think of something that will get her out of this horrid situation.
The one that took her away from him.
Theodore yells again, not caring if he wakes up the old bastard that is his father. Maybe it be best to just die, right here. In his room. Because he won't be able to leave without knowing that Luna is safe, by his side.
He has failed. Not himself, but her. Nott broke his promise to her that he'd keep her safe no matter what happened. And now she's not with him. It's a big possibility that those lunatics are hurting her. And it's all his fault. For being too prideful and not accepting his fate, thinking that no harm would come their way.
But it did, and now he's paying the consequences.
When Milly is finally able to enter his room, she sees him lying in a fetal position and is matted by his own blood, his once neat room is a mess. Quickly the tiny elf stops the flow, and tends to his cut, while crying herself, feeling the pain of her young master.
Theodore doesn't even react. He feels nothing now, only pain. But it's not pain from his cut, it's from inside, and he tries to breathe again but it gets harder each second. With as much strength as he can muster, his hand goes to his heart and he frowns; it's not beating. He's dead. But why is he still here?
Milly levitates him and lays him down on his bed. "Ohs, Master Theo, yous needs to calm downs. Everythings wills be okay," the elf whispers while clearing his hair from his defeated and lifeless green eyes.
Shaking his head, he sits up, and begins to yell, "No, Milly! It won't be okay! Don't you see that they have her! She's gone! And it's all my fault!" Tears come out and with trembling hands he feels them. A sob squeezes out of his dry throat. The shaking continues, but now it's harder, and he can't stop it.
He hasn't cried since the death of his mother when he was seven. Eleven years without crying – the old bastard must be proud, and Theodore laughs.
Who would have thought that a quirky Ravenclaw with a dreamy smile and Butterbeer necklace could make him cry. After loosing his mum, he'd thought that all the love and tears were drained from him. That it wasn't possible for him to love again. Hell, not even cry!
But she made it possible. She broke down his walls and showed him how to love and be carefree, living without worries, having his life be heaven with her.
But now she's gone.
And now he's worried, and his love for her is hurting because she's not here. And his life is hell all over again.
His green eyes look down at the cut on his left forearm. His bony finger touches the stain, and for a moment he thinks that he can fix his mistake. Theodore can bring her back. But it has to be fast. He has to hurry, or he'll be too late.
"Whats is Master thinking?" Milly questions him. His eyes have changed with determination. And she knows that he will do something. She knows him too well.
He looks up at his elf. "I'm going to get her out of there."
Milly's big violet eyes widen. "Buts Master Theo, that bad man will kills yous! Yous is not a Death Eater, yous is not like yous father! Yous is good!"
Standing up he shakes his head. "No, I'm not good. Without Luna I'm bad, a waste – I'm nothing." Heading through his door, he makes his way up the stairs and into a deserted corridor. His elf begs him to stop, to think clearly, before he puts himself in a situation that he won't get out of.
But he ignores her.
Stopping outside his father's study, he can hear the old man singing. He's drunk.
Standing straight, and not caring to clean up the blood stains, Theodore knocks. The slurring singing stops for a moment, and a shout tells him to enter. Entering his father study he can see various photographs of muggles being killed and tortured, but it doesn't make his stomach turn in disgust. He has seen this since he was a baby. He is used to it.
"What do you want, boy?" Abelard Nott hisses while taking a swing from his firewhiskey. Glaring at his heir, he sees that his hair is messy, his white shirt is red, and he looks defeated. His son looks weak.
Theodore has to do this for Luna. He is only doing this for her. To have her safe and have her by his side. "I've come to my senses, and I will take the mark of our Lord. To serve him, as you have served him, father." His voice sounds strong, and his throat hurts even more but he has said it. Finishing, he kneels down and tilts his head down, showing respect to the bastard that he hates with all his being.
Nott Sr. chuckles. "I always knew you'd come around, boy. You just needed a little push that's all." His cold uncaring voice resonates throughout his study.
Theodore eyes squint and he wants to hurt the old man so badly. He wants to make him blue then purple, to see how he feels when no air comes through those lungs. But he bites his tongue, and fists his hands, turning them even whiter.
He takes a deep breath. He has to be calm and strong for Luna, or all will be lost.
"You know, boy, you and I are the same," Abelard tells him, drinking from his glass. His old hazel eyes for a moment look dazed, as if remembering someone that made him feel young and free.
Theodore shakes his head. No, he can't be like his father – never was, never is and never will. He has the ability to love, to feel pain and loss, even cry. But his father... no, Nott Sr. could never feel those things in a million years. After all, even if he had felt those things, he'd made it all go away by killing his wife.
Abelard's old hand goes to Theodore's head, keeping it from moving. "Listen, boy, I will only say this once," he hisses, baring his teeth. "You must not show weakness to our Lord – he can smell it from a mile away. So be strong and suck it up. If he sees you're strong, your little toy will be safe and he will give her back to you. But be strong, boy! I have trained you for this. Don't make a fool out me."
He then makes Theodore stand up. The younger Nott looks at him in confusion, but slowly he nods, sniffing and stopping the tears from falling. "And bloody hell! Stop shaking, boy! Be a man. You're not the first or the last man to loose someone you love."
Theodore starts to laugh, surprising his father. "You lost a loved one?" he asks curiously, though his eyes are still full of hate. "When did that happen? From what I know, you've never loved anyone."
Nott Sr. scowls at his son. "If you must know, boy, I did love once, long ago, before you showed up and messed it all up."
Theodore just sneers, "Don't you dare say you loved my mum. You never did."
"You're weak and young, you don't know what you say. Don't speak of what you don't know, boy. When I lost your mother, I died," Abelard snarls, and takes his arm so they can apparate, but Theodore pulls away, feeling angrier by the second.
"Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself. If you ever did love my mother, you would never have killed her. Or have women parading here like they owned this filthy place," Theodore says with so much hatred that he is seeing red again.
Nott Sr. continues to glare. "We are in a war, and sometimes we have to sacrifice something dear to our hearts. You are just learning the beginning of what is to come. If you think this is loss and pain to your weak body, then you don't have the strength to face what comes ahead. So choose now, boy, and choose wisely. Because I won't be there to save you or your little toy when you make a mistake."
Theodore glares back and, as he takes a deep breath, his hand goes to his father's. Abelard smirks. "I always knew you were smart – weak but smart. We have to hurry, or your little toy will be dead."
And with those words, both Notts apparated to Malfoy Manor, so the young Nott could take his rightful place as a Death Eater and save Luna from those retched people, who now he belonged to.
Destiny is cruel in many ways, but when you love someone, you do anything for them – even become the person you most hate.
AN: I love it :) Hope you love it as well, so please review :)