Hi, new story. This is an rp between my Mello and a Near. Thanks for reading! ^^ If you don't like any of the themes below (see Warnings), then click the magical button in the corner called a back arrow! I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR THE STORY AND MY BRAIN! EVERYTHING ELSE GOES TO THEIR RESPECTED OWNERS!

Warnings: Yaoi, Anxiety, Character Names, OOC, Abuse *Mental, Verbal, Physical*, Cheating

Pairing: MelloxNear, MelloxMatt

Summary: Mello has a secret, Near is oblivious. Stress and tensions rise in Mello until it bubbles over and his personalities split. Now there's two sides to Mello for Near, the gentle man he married and the ruthless mafia boss. How far can Mello stretch his mind until he breaks completely? How long can Near allow the abuse to continue? Warnings inside. MelloxNear.

"Mihi!" The small albino shouted as he stood and hurried to the blonde, hugging him tightly.

Mello's eyes widened slightly and slowly he hugged back. "Nate..." He smiled and kissed the younger's head. "I love you."

Near smiled and let him go, moving away slightly. "You've been gone a while."

"I know." Mello moved to the kitchen, his anger becoming a problem again. He opened the cubboard to get a glass.

"What's wrong? You seem upset, did something happen?" Near began to worry and stepped into the kitchen to look at his Mihi.

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing." Mello spoke as he filled the cup with water.

"Then why can't you tell me? If it's nothing, why are you upset?" His brows furrowed, he's acting strange... Near thought to himself.

"I'm not upset. It doesn't matter so drop it!"

"You're yelling, something happened and it mattered. You can tell me, Mihi, I won't be mad." He stepped closer to Mello, knowing he was stepping into the lion's den. He didn't have time to react as the glass Mello held flew past his head and shattered against the wall behind him, only a few drops of water staining his face. His eyes were wide as he watched Mello.

"I said it didn't matter, can't you just leave things alone?! Goddamn, Near, your so annoying! Just shut up for once!" Mello growled out as he glared at the albino, daring him to say anything.

Near let his hand softly and loosely cover his open mouth, a flicker of fear in his eyes at Mello's outburst. "M-Mihael..." He mumbled out, his voice soft and just above a whisper.

That seemed to snap Mello out of what ever he was in. He blinked once and quickly relaxed, becoming sad at Near's frightened look. "Nate...I'm sorry..." He moved closer and hugged Near, who rested his head on the blonde's shoulder. "I'm sorry...I love you, Nate, I'll never hurt you..."

"You didn't hurt me. Its ok, I love you, too. Don't worry, love." He smiled softly and kissed the blonde.

Mello nodded and soon let the other go. "Let's go out for dinner, I'm finally home and I want to be a bit romantic tonight."

The albino frowned. "The sun, Mihi, I don't like it..."

"I'll protect you from the sun, come on. Please, Nate?"

"Fine..." Near quickly got changed and smiled at Mello. He kissed the boys head then led him outside, holding him close to his side to block the suns rays. Soon Mello pulled him into a fancy-looking restaurant. He smiled to the man at the podium who quickly wrote something down and allowed the two through. As they walked, Near's eyes were wide, looking everywhere. Mello pulled Near to a table in the back, away from people and prying eyes.

"M-Mihi..! This is amazing...Really..." The albino spoke.

Mello nodded and smiled. "I've been here before with Rod and Jack..."

Mello pulled out the chair for his lover before sitting himself. He looked though the menu and got lost in his thoughts again. Stupid, I can't keep it a secret for much longer, he'll find out...Someone will crack. I'll die, perhaps I should just kill myself, save him the effort of doing it. His thoughts ran wild, thoughts of his past, his husband, his actions with the mafia-With Matt-and even the simple things Near did for him. He was so wrapped into his thoughts he didn't notice the waiter until the other lightly kicked his leg.

He jumped slightly and scanned the menu again quickly, "C-chocolate covered strawberries, please."

The waiter wrote it down then took the menu and left, a small frown in place. Near frowned and looked at the blonde, "What's wrong?"

"Just thinking," The other sighed out.

Near stood and moved closer to Mello, sitting on his lap and wrapping his arms around Mello's neck. "About what, Mihi..?"

The blonde held the boy close and sighed softly, "Us...I love you, Nate, but I'm almost never home, what if you got hurt? Or killed? I'd die without you, I really hate thinking about that..."

"Mels, don't worry. I'm fine, I love you." He kissed the man and smiled. They continued talking until the the waiter returned with the strawberries, giving the two men a strange look. His only response was a glare from both of the men at the table, he knew Mello's title and quickly retreated from the table without a single word.

Mello picked up a strawberry and dipped into the chocolate before pressing it to pale lips, "You're cute."

Near blushed faintly and accepted the fruit before kissing Mello, allowing the blonde to greedily lick the chocolate from his lips. The small boy could supress the small moan that escaped his mouth, "M-Mello...You're teasing me..."

The other merely nodded and smiled when Near offered him the fruit. He gladly took it and kissed his husband, loving the taste of chocolate and Near mixing together. "Chocolate covered Nate would be good..." He thought aloud, making the pale boy turn bright red in embarrassment. They continued feeding each other until all the strawberries were gone. After they paid, Mello started out, holding Near close as they walked through the crowded restaurant. Once outside he relaxed. "Did you enjoy it?"

Near nodded. "Yes, I did. Although I am more glad that the sun is hidden within the clouds." He smiled and grabbed Mello's hand. "I love you so much, Mello."

"I love you too." He smiled and looked up. "Your really sensitive to the sun, huh?"

He nodded and smiled, "Yes... I am an albino."

"But not all albino's are sensitive to the sun..."

"Yes, but some are... because of their eyes. My eyes hurt and my skin is rather rashy and red whenever it makes contact to the sun. So I rather stay away.."

"I see...But your still cute to me, I won't let you burn up like a vampire." Mello smiled softly.

He blushed. "I like my angry Mello. He is cute."

Mello laughed and looks down at boy from the corner of his eyes. "Angry? Why? That's when I'm violent..."

"I like violent and mean Mello.." He purred a little then snuggles him.

"Why? That doesn't make much sense..." He wrapped an arm around the boy, pulling him close.

"I told you.. I am a masochist." He smiled and kissed him.

He kissed back fiercely and bit the albino's bottom lip hard. "You know what it sounds like, right? What your asking for?"

Near's eyes widened slightly and he blushed a deep red. "What does it sound like, love?" His eyes narrowed and stared at Mello showing some emotions.

"It sounds like...To anyone else who's listening, that you want an abusive relationship. Mostly pain, little love."

"Hm. Perhaps, I like pain and love at the same time."

He laughed. "What do you want, Nate? The relationship we have now which is rarely painful or a little bit more abusive, more painful?"

Near pouted a little at Mello's laugh. "...I like it when you're mean to me Mello.. and rough too.."

"Why? Besides being masochistic."

"I want to know different emotions, love." He grabs his hand and walks to their house.

Mello fell silent as they walked, thinking.

"How exactly does pain feel like? Or crying?" He looks at him emotionless.

"Hmm? Pain...Hurts...And sometimes it makes you cry."

"I do not know how to cry.." He twirls a lock of his hair.

"You have to know how to cry...you'd cry if I died." Mello pointed out.

"Perhaps I would, but I haven't cried."

"That doesn't mean you don't know how to...You just haven't...yet..." His voice became slightly distant again. His eyes darkened as Near tilted his head and looked at the boy with a hint of confusion. Mello stayed silent, his head tilted enough for his hair to cover his eyes.

Near stopped and stood in front of Mello. "...Mello.." He leaned up to kiss him gently.

Mello didn't kiss back, he just stood still. "We should get home, Near."

The albino nodded, still confused slightly. "Yes...Let's go."

Mello continued to walk, slightly in front of Near. Near began to walk a little clumsy now. Once they reached home, Mello unlocked the door and held it for Near. "Coming?" His voice was slightly darker now, much like when he talked to the mafia or was planning the death of someone.

First chapter. R&R plz, I accept flames. Thank you.