A secret is a strange thing. There are multiple kinds of secrets, three to be exact. Ronan Lynch lived with every kind of secret.
The first one is the kind of secret everyone knows about, but you need at least two people for this. One person to keep the secret and one who will never know the secret.
Ronan's first secret was himself. One of his brothers, the older Declan, was a liar and his younger brother Matthew was an angel. Ronan was the son of a dreamer and a son of a dreamwoman, created by his father Niall Lynch. Ronan gained his father's specialty. Ronan was also a greywaren, living to dream. Living to be able to take objects from his dreams into the real world. Ronan's life was full of possibilities, they were all in his dreams. He could create everything he wanted, he could steal all the things he needed from his dreams. But Ronan wasn't like Niall and Kavinsky who used their powers to gain dream objects every night. No, Ronan was the true Greywaren.
The second kind of secret is a harder kind. It's the one you know exists, but you keep it from yourself. Everyday you keep yourself from confessing this secret. This kind of secret all comes down to three simple words, which are easy to think, but hard to say: I am afraid.
Ronan's second secret was Adam Parrish. The point was that Ronan was in love with this boy. Even now Adam has changed. He was different since he woke up the ley line and even more different after restoring the ley line and bringing Cabeswater back. Adam became stronger, stranger and further away. He was harder to reach than ever before. It wasn't hard for Ronan to look at the odd and elegant lines drawing Adam's interesting face, though. Ronan was able to still see Adam the way he is and always has been.
The third kind of secret is the hardest, the most hidden. It's something no one knows. Maybe it was known once but taken to the grave. Or maybe the mystery of the sercret was useless. Arcane and lonely. Maybe no one found it because they never looked for it.
One day, when Ronan woke up, everyone helped his dreammother Aurora Lynch get in the car. Everyone was silent while driving to the GPS coordinates marked in Gansey's journal. They arrived at a fully restored Cabeswater, the mysterious but familiar magical forest. The forest was a dreamer dreamt by another dreamer. Every three spoke in Latin, they all spoke in voices Ronan might have heard before. And in the forest was Noah, more human than ever, waving to the group. Next to Noah stood Adam with his hands in his pockets. On Noah's other side stood Persephone, a white cloud of hair surrounding her head. When Aurora came into Cabeswarer, she woke up slowly. She smiled, looking like her angelic son Matthew. Aurora hugged all of her sons except for Declan, because Declan Lynch wasn't in Cabeswater. Declan didn't want to be with Ronan most of the time and Ronan didn't want to be with Declan either. Ronan hadn't invited his older brother, even though he maybe wanted to see Aurora awake again.
When the Lynch' family meeting was over, Adam spoke up, saying "I have something to show you."
Everyone followed Adam deeper into Cabeswater. The pool with the magical, colorchanging fish, which was placed next to the dreaming tree, had disappeared. The pool had been replaced by a dark rock surface. A cave.
"How deep does it go?" Gansey asked. Adam shrugged his shoulders and told them, "I haven't gone in yet. I don't know if it's safe."
Adam glanced at Ronan, sensing Ronan's pair of molten blue eyes glued to him. Ronan quickly looked away.
This cavern right here was Ronan's third secret. After the glance, Ronan slowly walked into the cavern, feeling brave. He walked untill the darkness of the cave surrounded him and swallowed his tall body. Ronan heard nothing except for the protests of Gansey and Blue, and Noah shouted some things too. Ronan couldn't hear what they were yelling, he only heard the sounds of their screaming voices. Possibly, they were telling him to come back. He didn't walk back, though.
The screams were followed by footstept. Ronan looked over his tattooed shoulder but wasn't able to see who was behind him.
"Ronan?" the voice belonging to the person said, and Ronan realised the voice was Adam's. Ronan took a few steps back, getting closer to Adam. He walked until he could feel Adam's breathe on his skin. Ronan searched with his hands for Adam's body, touching the cheek of the younger boy. The only thing Ronan could see of Adam were a pair of blue eyes staring at him strangely. Adam let out a weird, nervous sound, but didn't say a word. Ronan felt Adam's soft lips with his thumb before kissing his love in the blackness of the cavern.
You see, all of us have secrets in our lives. Secrets which are hard to keep, hard to hear or so hard that you just want to forget they exist. We're keepers and keptfrom, players and played. Secrets and cockroaches – that's what will be left at the end of it all.