Of The War Between Day And Night And Its Intermediary
Shadows.
They creep, residing in hidden corners little else can reach, growing as time passes until they meld into an all-encompassing darkness.
Inky, sleek and treacherous.
He was tainted by those shadows, Feilong knew as much. They had been with him for a long time now.
"What are you saying," Feilong asked the young man sitting on a delicate chair opposite him. Dark eyes peered from behind unruly black bangs, darting a glance towards the Triad leader before dropping to loose themselves in the vibrant colour of red wine. Feilong resisted the urge to reach out to push back those untamed strands as he had done so many times during the past weeks.
The young man hesitated, a moment in which he took a sip of his wine. A droplet of crimson liquid remained on his lips, pink tongue appearing to quickly swipe it away. He set his eyes on Feilong once more, hesitation forgotten.
Feilong could not have averted his gaze if he had tried to. Innocent, genuine and full of hope. He knew that his own eyes had once resembled the young man's, a long time ago. Yet there was one thing he now found in his young lover's gaze that he knew he'd always lacked; The gentle strength and the self-assuredness that what he was doing was right. The belief in something that was good.
Light.
It is the only thing that can conquer the shadows. It will conquer them as an inevitable force. It knows it will win and even if momentarily driven back, light knows it will return with each sunrise.
"I mean I can no longer stay," the dark-haired youth replied. 21 years old, an ambitious art student. Later on Feilong would think that he should have known this would happen. But he had, in fact, not anticipated this. Like the shadows foolishly believing he could stand a chance against something so bright. A bright future.
"You have found someone else." Those who knew him well would have noticed that Feilong's voice had grown a shade darker, more grave than usual. No such people were present. Maybe they did not exist.
The younger of the two took up his wine glass once more and drained it. He shook his head in regret and got up from where he was seated, slowly moving to Feilong's side of the table and kneeling down next to the Triad leader. He took Feilong's hand in his. A small smile, neither happy nor morose slid onto the young man's lips. It held such serenity, such beauty, such finality.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes as he rose until his lips could meet Feilong's. The kiss was soft, chaste nearly. So different from the passionate ones they had shared recently. The young student pulled back, tiny smile still in place. It could have been encouraging, though Feilong wasn't sure.
"Goodbye."
Hours later, forhead and left hand pressed against the cool glass of a large window, Feilong's gaze swept Hong Kong's skyline. It blurred in streaks of yellow and blazing orange and the crimson of too much red wine.
Those who knew him would have recognised this feeble attempt at escape. Those who knew him had been driven into retreat by his shadow. His darkness would taint all. He was a hidden corner; a forgotten space light would not reach.
The one person who still knew him, the bright dawning of a strong light, was Tao. The boy had spent so much time in Feilong's presence. The thought now terrified Feilong. Would his shadow taint everything? Was no light safe from his shadow's futile pursuit?
Twilight.
The intermediary of day and night, of light and shadow. A neutral force, mysterious and cool and as constant as was the war between those two opposites. Possibly the strongest of them all, possibly the safest. Neither light nor dark, neither innocent nor tainted.
The sun had set now. The shadows were winning, encroaching as Feilong subconsciously pressed further against the window, longing to catch the last rays of light.
Twilight; he could not taint it, could he? He could not blacken something that was neither light nor dark. It was the safest, inevitable force. And it had been with him for the past seven years, had it not? Neither dark nor light, but safe and constant, though certainly not entirely innocent.
But in twilight Feilong could feel safe. It could blanket him, shielding him from the threatening shadows and the searing light that would always burn too brightly for Feilong's shadowed being to exist in.
Its ambiguity had become frightening for a moment and he had tried to push it away, but had he succeeded?
Feilong's hand blindly fumbled to find his mobile phone. Pressing the first digit on speed dial, he held the device to his ear. A deep voice announced its presence at the other end of the line.
"I sometimes wonder whether I will taint everything I touch," Feilong spoke. His voice was steady, but weary. "But you, you seem to be the only one brave enough to endure my presence nonetheless."
"Feilong…?" Yoh's voice betrayed his momentary confusion.
"Will you come and see me," Feilong asked, gaze once again directed at the scene outside of his window. "I need to speak with you."
Yoh nodded, although the other man could not see this. "I will be there in half an hour."