Document One... Hello, Everyone!
NOTE: The following is a highly-classified transcript from the "Ukyo: Okonomiyaki is not Enough!" staff... Do not release this document to the general public, as it contains information that is delicate in nature and may pose a danger to all those who come in contact with it... You have been warned.
The Strange and Undocumented Backstage Performances of Ranma: Volume One
Ambezua: Hello, everyone... I am Ambezua, if my name-tag didn't already give it away... I'm the director/author of "Ukyo: Okonomiyaki is not Enough!" and I am here with the rest of the cast to relax, discuss the previous chapters, and generally have a good time until the next scene. Hello, everyone... and welcome to "Ukyo: Okonomiyaki is not enough!"
Ranma: (Yawn) Yeah, yeah yeah... What's the point of all this wishy-washy stuff?
Gelidus: And what's up with this stupid "Name: Text" format?!? I don't think we need to start off each line that way.
Ambezua: No?
Gelidus: It would be better if it was like this: "Ambezua blinked, then asked, 'no?' "
Ambezua: It would be of a different style from my other stories... but fine...
"I'm just saying, it would look less comic book-like," continues Gelidus.
Ambezua: But, that's the point!
"Um... this is a fan fiction, not a comic, plus this is different style from the rest of the episode, so it would be just as easy to tell it apart," counters Gelidus.
Ambezua: Whateva... some people have no class...
Looking behind him, Gelidus shouts, "That means you, Kuno!
Nabiki: Yes, Kuno-baby... we were all thinking of you...
Kuno: Finally... someone has realized the true acting genius of the great Tatewaki Kuno!
Ambezua: Anyway... so, how does everyone like how the story is going so far?
Kasumi: I like it! I didn't know Ukyo and Ranma used to play tag together... (Remembers flashbacks) Weren't they so cute as kids?
Nabiki: Sure, sis... real cute...
Kasumi: Akane, you and Ranma are such good friends, why don't you two play tag?
Akane: O_O
Ranma: We do... with a mallet in Akane's hands...
Kasumi: Oh, I see... How nice!
Nabiki: Sis... I think you have officially lost it...
Akane: No, no, no! You have it all wrong! I'm not flirting with Ranma when I hit him! I'm actually trying to hurt him!
Nabiki: Keep telling yourself that, sis...
Kasumi: I don't remember anyone saying that you were flirting with Ranma...
Shampoo: OOOOH, You play tag with Shampoo, ok Ranma? (Glomp)
Ranma: You gotta be kidding me...
"You guys realize you can quit acting now, right?" asks Gelidus hopefully.
Shampoo: Shampoo no acting... love for real!
Akane: (Battle aura) You thought I was acting...
Gelidus very nervously develops a sweatdrop next to his head, having previously seen the results of Akane's fury.
Akane: DIE!
"Whoa... you are A LOT scarier in person!" states Gelidus, just before realizing that Akane is actually going to hit him... Then is surprised when he barely feels the mallet touch his head. That was the most pathetic attempt to harm someone I have ever seen... I had no idea Ranma was THAT good of an actor...
Nabiki: Akane never acts, darling... She's like that way all the time. Another way Akane and Ranma are polar opposites.
"You mean... she acts like this all of the time? But we haven't even figured out... what... makes her to act this way!" Gelidus saves himself while developing a small sweatdrop.
Nabiki: (Sarcastically) Akane, dear, you are SO mistreated.
Ambezua: (Ignoring the chaos) Let's see... I think everyone's here... Wait, where's girl-type Ranma and the Kuno siblings?
Ranko: (Running by) OUTTA MY WAY!!!
Kuno: (Running after Ranko) Pig-tailed girl!
Ambezua: Alright... that's Kuno and Ranko...
"How on earth are both Ranma and Ranko here at the same time?!?" demands Gelidus.
Ambezua: Obviously because they are two different actors... duh...
Gelidus snaps his fingers then replies, "so THAT's why they act differently! I always wondered about that..."
Kodachi: (Evil laugh) Director, dear... I heard you didn't give me much screen time... you know how jealous I can become!
Ambezua: (Ignoring her threat) Check, that's everyone!
"Lol... you ARE good at ignoring people, aren't you?" chimes in Gelidus.
Hopposai: What a haul, what a haul! I KNEW it was a good idea to take on this job!
Ambezua: (Ignoring them as well, says to himself) Remind me to pay him in panties...
Genma: HA! got you, Tendo... (Places Shogi piece)
Soun: "Not so fast! (Places piece)
Genma: Hey look, Tendo... The next scene is starting! (Eats piece)
"Some people are so predictable," remarks Gelidus, half to himself.
Tendo: You don't say... Hey!
Genma: Whft? (Crunch, crunch)
Ranma: (Splashes Genma with water, and he turns into a panda) Alright, fun time's over pops!
Ambezua: (At Genma's turning into his curse form) Unreal... you mean...
Genma: (On sign) I don't wanna talk about it...
"Just out of curiosity... do Shogi pieces taste any good?" inquires Gelidus.
Genma: (On sign) Well, actually, they DO have a crunchy, sort of texture (flip) with a bit of wood-stain taste too (flip) Much better than Akane's cooking, by any standards!
Soun: Saotome!
Akane: (Pops vein) Why you...
Gelidus remembers back to what Genma said when he first tasted Akane's cooking, "How was I suppose to know she was THAT bad at cooking!?! It's inhuman I tell you!" Snapping back to reality, Gelidus asks, "well, is that everyone?"
Ambezua: If I wanted EVERYONE, then I would want "Evil Shampoo" as well, but she doesn't need to be here right now...
"EVIL Shampoo??" questions Gelidus.
Ambezua: Yeah, you know, the one from the Reversal Jewel?
"Lol... she's the same person," chuckles Gelidus. "Shampoo just have bad day," he says while imitating Shampoo's voice.
Ambezua: Lol... I suppose so... just don't do that again, ok?
Shampoo: What taking about? Shampoo having very good day! (Glomps Ranma again and strokes her head on his chest)
Ranma: Gee... I tell ya... either she is on or she's off...
Akane: (Clenches fist) Ranma...
Just before Akane takes out Ranma, Gelidus chimes in, "I know the perfect song for this!" Then he plays "Hot 'n Cold" by Katy Perry from his iPod on the loud speakers.