I've been thinking about this and now I started writing. I hope you guys like it! I'm always happy to receive reviews - either loving the story or helping me to improve my writing - so, feel free to drop a review!

Summary: Jack finally took the courage to talk about his past with the woman he really loved. All the memories his mother told him, the childhood memories - the good ones and the bad ones - and finally, how it was to get away from a house with an abusive father. Is he going to handle all these emotions he had been hiding for so long?

Alright, L&O belongs to Dick Wolf! I'm here just having a lot of fun with the characters.

Chapter 1

He had promissed her that he was gonna tell the story of his childhood. He already knew her life, her parents… but she didn't know a bit about him. Now she needed to know.

"Claire." Jack began. "There's something I need you to know."

"What?" she was almost afraid of knowing what it was.

"I… You need to know how my childhood was… How my father was a son of a bitch and…"

"I wondered when you were gonna trust me enough to talk about it."

"It wasn't about trust… It never was." He got up and went to the window, trying to catch a little bit of air. "It was about… The pain. I never wanted to deal with the pain but now since my life is settling down, I need you to know me. You know the Jack McCoy workaholic and lover, now I need you to know the screwed Jack McCoy."

Some tears started appearing in his eyes and he didn't bother to wipe them. He knew he didn't need to hide anymore.

"Then sit here, Jack, and tell me everything." He went to the sofa and Claire hugged him. Jack laid his head on her shoulder and tried to relax.

"Ok…"

1940 –

Mrs. McCoy was happy to be pregnant and showed that to everybody who wanted to see. She was uncertain if her husband was going to be able to support the family with just a cop's salary, but tried to be optimist, after all, she was going to start a family.

Mr. McCoy, on the other hand, was not very happy to know his wife was going to have a baby. It wasn't on his plans and that surprise took him to a road he knew there was no come back: drinking. He spent most of the day thinking how he was gonna give them support and at night, the bar was the best place to forget all of that.

--------------

"He started to drink before you were born?"

"According to my mom, yes. He couldn't even stand up for his family…" Jack answered with bitterness on his voice.

--------------

Mrs. McCoy was tired of waking up in the middle of the night to try to carry her drunken husband. No, it wasn't the life she wanted to have. Every night it was the same hell, the same nightmare. One of those nights, something different happened.

John McCoy entered in the house almost falling on the floor but managed to get into the bed which was empty. He looked around confused and found a note by the floor. With extreme difficulty, he read the note.

I'm in the hospital, our child is coming! I hope you are sober enough to come.

After reading that, he instantly fell asleep.

--------------

Jack cried on Claire's shoulders and felt her hands go through his salt and pepper hair.

"I'm so sorry, Jack… I…" she started and was silenced by his look.

"No, don't feel. I preferred he wasn't there… not drunk like he must have been."

"You want to go on?"

"Of course."