Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these these characters. All rights for their creation go to Stephenie Meyer.

Life seemed meaningless to me right now. The brilliant light that used to shine down on me was once filled with color; sparkling with my joy. Thousands of tiny diamonds that resembled a vampires skin in the light was a nice example. But now it was bleak, meaningless, and dark. I felt like I had no purpose. No meaning. No future. Edward was supposed to be my future. My lifeline that was just cut recently, leaving me stranded, and trying to bring myself back. Could I even bring myself back? I felt like an empty pit of nothingness; my stomach an empty black hole that sucked every bit of happiness from the world into it, before I can even experience it.

My heart felt empty, as if it weren't beating at all. But it was impossible to ignore its aching hard beat whenever my memories get the best of me. With Edward still gone, nightmares continued to haunt me each night. The sight of him, standing at a distance, just enough that I could see him, was enough to drive me into madness. I would call for him, but he wouldn't wait. He just left me there, letting the dark consume me. I awoke to my screams, hearing them echo throughout my room. The bloodcurdling shrieks would send Charlie charging into my room. But he couldn't comfort me when he came. I would just let my miserable tears wash my face until I fell asleep once more.

The hole in my chest continued to grow, day by day; the black hole eating everything in its path. Just thinking about him sends a pang of sadness that radiates through me, feeling like a thousand knives stabbing into my skin. I missed Edward. I wanted him to come back, and tell me that everything he said was a lie. I wanted him to come tell me he loved me, and that he would never hurt me again. But even I knew that was impossible. He said it himself, he didn't love me. He didn't want me. So why was it so hard for me to move on? I let myself hope. It never made sense for him to love me. Someone as beautiful and amazing as he was wasn't meant for an awkward girl like me. I should have known that from the beginning.

I sat alone, staring out the window to my room, pushing memories out of my mind. A single tear streaked down my cheek, as I tried to forget. I was debating on whether to go see Jacob or not; he made me feel better at least. We had just started working on motorcycles, that I wasn't even sure he could fix. It didn't matter. They were just excuses for me to go see him. At least then I can let go, forget, and be happy. I angrily bit my lip, as my fingers tapped on the windowsill. Giving up, I walked out of my room, and down the stairs. Charlie was laying on the couch, watching another baseball game.

"Hey Bells," he called.

I could see the pure worry in his chocolate brown eyes. I scared the hell out of him each night, due to my screams and wails as I went through my nightmares. He thought I was broken beyond repair, no doubt. I sure felt broken.

"Hey," I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Where are you going?" he asked, as I grabbed my car keys.

"Down to La Push. I'm going to go see Jake again."

His eye crinkling smile lit up, as a small fraction of the worry lifted. "Alright. See you later, Bells."

I nodded, ducking out the door. I slowly trudged over to my truck, as it drizzled. Clouds covered the sky, darkening the day. I crawled into my warm truck, sitting on the tan leather seat, inhaling it's smell of tobacco and a fresh hint of peppermint. I started it up, the loud rumbling filling the air. I started to drive, making my way to Jacob. My mouth was a hard line, as I twisted through town, trying to think about the future, not my past. Finally, I arrived at Jake's, a small wave of relief flowing through me. I could forget now. My truck pulled to a stop in front of the house. I yanked the door to my truck open, jumping out. I walked to the door, knocking. A few moments later, the door opened. Billy Black was sitting there, in his wheelchair.

His dark eyes brightened when they saw me, his smile soft. His hair was laying flat, down past his shoulders. The dark black color matched Jake's.

"Hi, Billy," I smiled.

He returned it, his dark eyes warm. "Hey Bella. Jacob!" he called, "Bella's here."

Within seconds, I saw Jacob jog to the door."Hey Bella!" he said, enthusiastically.

Before I could reply, he nearly knocked me over with a hug. His strong arms were so tight, I couldn't breathe.

"Hey Jake," I gasped, after he released me.

"Ready to go work on some bikes?" he asked, starting towards the garage.

I chuckled, and nodded. I followed him over to the garage, as he opened it up.

"So how are things?" he asked, kneeling down to the floor. He started working, his eyes focused on the bike.

"With what?" I asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"You. Are you feeling any better?"

I looked down, meeting his wise brown eyes. He knew me well. Or perhaps I was just not acting happy enough. He knew I was hurting. But I wasn't sure if he knew how bad.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to play it off.

"Well, you seemed pretty down after the Cullen's left." Shit! I have been acting depressed! "I was wondering if you were starting to feel better. Dad told me that Charlie's been real worried."

It felt as if he slapped me across his face. "It's been… better," I lied, biting my lip.

"You sure?" he whispered, his dark eyes narrowing.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I threw him the brightest smile I could muster.

"Alright, good. I didn't like them Cullen's much, anyway." He grinned, flashing his brilliant white teeth.

I shrugged, like I didn't care. Jake started to work, not speaking until he asked me to hand him a wrench. I was personally glad he dropped the topic of the Cullen's.

The day continued, as I helped hand Jacob different tools and parts. He seemed like he was in his own world, working diligently, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail by a rubber band. When it started to get late, I realized I had to leave. Part of me wanted to stay, because I knew what I would think of if I left. And I most certainly didn't want that.

"Alright, Jake. I guess I have to get going," I whispered.

"Kay. Come back tomorrow, okay?" he grinned.

"Okay. Goodnight."

I walked outside the garage, the world only slightly lit by the setting sun. I climbed into my truck, sadly turning off the radio. I wasn't in the mood to hear music. I began driving, not really wanting to go home. I couldn't help how my thoughts fell back on the Cullen's once again. It was like they were permanently burned into my brain. It felt horrible. I just… wanted to see them one last time. They all left so suddenly, leaving me without a single memory. The only place I could go that was even remotely connected to them was… their home.

My truck swerved, instantly going in a different direction. I had to see it. Their house. Just one last time. My truck's engine hissed, as I pushed the speed over sixty. Trees were on all sides of me, as I started on the path to the Cullen's house. My heart thumped out of my chest, as I wondered if I would be able to take seeing it. Tears were already blurring my vision from the familiar route. My heart stuttered, when the house came into view. My breath caught in my throat, as I saw a dim light on in one of the windows. I slammed on the breaks, hurriedly jumping out of my truck.

I ran forward, finding the door was unlocked. I stumbled inside, seeing all of the furniture was still here. Were they moving back? I couldn't help but wonder this. I gulped, the tears brimming over, as I stared at the room. At his piano. At the staircase that dominated one side of the room. I slowly walked over, sitting down on one side of the couch. I didn't understand how the light was on. But I didn't want to go looking around. It would hurt me even more. I slight sob escaped my lips, as my chest heaved. All of these memories…

"Bella?"

I gasped, my head whipping over to the staircase. Blood flooded into my cheeks, my breaths accelerating. I met the two golden eyes that were staring at me in wonder. I was paralyzed on the couch, held by the hypnotic eyes. Without another thought, I jumped up, nearly running to the stairs. I stumbled on one of the stairs, right as two strong arms caught me. I crashed into his chest, my chest heaving as more sobs passed through my lips.

"Bella?" he asked again, worry lacing his words.

I pulled back to look at him. Jasper. The first Cullen I have seen in far too long. Seeing him felt like a life raft, holding me afloat for a just a bit longer. Reassurance and comfort. His eyes were a bright gold, extremely light. He probably just went hunting, which was good. His gold hair was messy and shaggy. I noticed how his mouth was a slight frown; disapproving it seemed.

"Are you okay, darlin'?" he whispered.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice shaking. I ignored his question.

I was beginning to tremble, my heart holding an extra beat. It was so nice to just see one of the Cullen's. See the pale skin, and feel the coolness of their skin. I was home.

"I should ask you the same question," he breathed, exasperated. "But I was just coming back to pick up some of my things. Alice only picked out some of my things to bring along," he grumbled.

"I am so happy to see you," I cried, tears continuing to fall from my face. I knew I was probably scaring him. I was a mental wreck, and it was clear he could see it. My odd smile probably made me look truly insane.

He stared at me for a few minutes, until a soft smile pulled across his face. "Are you alright?" he asked.

He had noticed. I look totally psycho right now. I frowned, looking up at him.

"Yes… just a little shocked," I whispered.

"I can tell," he laughed. "Come, lets sit over here," he said, sitting on one of the couches. "You know, Alice and Edward might get angry that I am talking to you. But I don't really care right now. You're a wreck aren't you?" he whispered, sitting down across from me.

I blushed. "Is it that easy to tell?"

I knew it was. Black shadows were under my eyes, and my hair was tousled and frizzy. I was even paler than before, and I am sure my emotions are haywire. He smiled sweetly in reply.

"I felt your emotions when you came in here… you were distraught," he sighed, his eyes narrowing.

I frowned, looking down at the carpet. "It's been… rough."

"I'm sorry, Bella… it's really all my fault." His shoulders slumped, as he shut his eyes.

"No it isn't." I didn't need him feeling bad! He was making me happy!

He looked up, his eyes challenging. "If I hadn't lunged at you on your birthday Edward wouldn't have made us leave," he growled.

"He would have found a reason later on," I sighed. It was only true.

He pursed his lips, a slight chuckle coming out of his mouth. "Maybe you're right."

We were quiet for a minute, neither of us saying a word. I finally broke the silence. "How is he?" I asked.

Jasper's eyes narrowed. "I don't know. I haven't talked to him since the… um… accident. I have been staying with some old friends of mine. Alice has been stayed with me for a bit, but she has been off of her own, doing different stuff as well." He looked angered, slightly, and partially confused.

"How long are you going to stay?" I asked, my voice no higher than a whisper.

"I was planning on leaving tonight," he replied, pursing his lips.

My entire body froze, making me feel ice in my veins. My eyes were wide open, falling to the floor. No. No, no, no. I started to hyperventilate, not wanting to loose my only tie to the Cullen's.

"Wow, Bella, calm down," Jasper gasped, quickly moving closer to me. Not too close, not wanting to get tempted by my blood. I then wondered how hard it was for him when I hugged him.

"I'm s-sorry," I stuttered, my eyes watering.

"You really are broken now…" he breathed, avoiding my eyes. I could clearly see the guilt in them.

"Jasper… will you stay for a little? Just a couple of days, please," I begged.

A wave of calm went through me. "I will stay for a bit…" he mumbled, clearly not liking the idea. "Leaving would be quite cruel of me. Although I don't really understand why you want me to stay, of all people.

"You were my friend, Jasper. I have missed all of you," I choked out.

His eyes softened, his lips twitching as he smiled. "I thought you thought of me as the creepy sideline vampire of the family," he chuckled.

I shook my head. "No. I liked you just the same as the rest of the family," I replied. And it was true. In fact, I believe I like him more than Rosalie.

He smiled wider. "Thanks, darlin'. I appreciate that."

I smiled in reply. It was the first time in so long that I have truly smiled. I looked outside, to see how dark it was becoming.

"Would you like to stay the night here, Bella?" he asked, his country drawl coming out.

I nodded, beaming at him. "I'll call Charlie real quick, tell him I'm with Jacob."

"Jacob?" Jasper asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"He's my friend down at La Push. He's been the most… supportive," I murmured.

Jasper nodded, not asking anymore. I pulled out my cell phone, not daring to walk out of this room. Jasper could disappear like a mirage. I dialed Charlie's number, not taking my eyes off of him.

Finally, things were turning around. But the thing I was wondering… was for how long?