Why was the world so …confusing? Filled with riddles and problems we had to resolve. No one's life could go perfectly smoothly, but who would expect that? I was just thinking about these things since I learned people can be pretty harsh. I had to ask these questions, especially about the people making the problems, who inhabited this world –my life right now.

I'd learned long ago that people like to ruin other people's lives to make themselves feel better. Plain and simple. And normally the victims of these kinds of situations, like me, would most likely live horribly for the rest of their lives. I didn't know yet if this would happen, but it most likely would. Maybe I was being a little dramatic, but I had a feeling I wasn't. And maybe, yes, my thoughts were a little melodramatic. But from the events over the last few days… well to say the least I was jaded and in a bad spot.

And all I could think was with the people I knew, making my life a living hell was entirely possible, because they'd basically already done it. But I suppose things could be worse…

Anyone could tell from my actions and thoughts today that I was having a bad day. Or week. Or month. Or maybe even a few months, when it all began.

It all started a few months ago on my seventeenth birthday, December 26. Everything changed. Only a few weeks before, I had been one of the most popular guys at school. I had a girl friend, friends, but all that went down the drain, disappeared from me in an instant. I smirked as I thought that –the statement 'fame doesn't last forever' was completely and utterly true.

I knew I started out weird as a child. I never took naps, and I hardly slept at all. Even today. Same went with food. And I was always stronger and faster at school than the other kids, but no one really took notice. There was always one faster kid at school, right?

And then there was my skin. I always had clear skin. Everyone said I was more attractive then any other guy at school. I never took it as a compliment, though, because that just set me apart even more from every one else.

True, it hadn't been that bad when I was younger. But by my seventeenth birthday is when everything really went weird.

First my blood pressure dropped, which resulted in very cold, pale skin. But I functioned properly all the same. My mom, Ellen, didn't take me to the doctor. It almost seemed like she knew what was happening, but she would never tell me if she did or not. I bothered her almost constantly every day to tell me what was going on but she would never budge.

Monica Haines, my now ex-girlfriend I guess, first noticed how cold I was since she was the only person who really touched me.

She questioned one day when we were holding hands, why my hand was so cold. I brushed it off, telling her that I just had really cold hands that day… When the truth really was, I had cold hands every day.

Then, oh joy, in gym it became a regular activity to take our blood pressure. It was also a part of our mark.

And guess what? Mine was seventy over thirty five: very, very low. And yet I was still standing, walking and talking like a perfectly functional human being. But nonetheless, it alarmed people.

They thought it was just a glitch in the machine, but after they tried out a few more on me… well they knew it wasn't a glitch, or I was just a freak and made every electronic I touched malfunction.

My gym teacher was getting worried, or rather, more frantic than she already was, since she had taking our blood pressure everyday as a routine, and mine was getting lower and lower everyday. Only by a few beats, but it was getting lower everyday.

And then one day she phoned my mom and told her to come pick me up, saying that if I didn't get medical attention she would get it for me herself. Mom refused for some reason, and the teacher phoned an ambulance.

It was the most embarrassing day of my life. People were crowded around me, asking if I was okay or not. I was fine. Absolutely fine. There was no need to phone an ambulance. I was absolutely functional: no, I didn't feel woozy, and no, I wasn't going to be sick…

That was in February. Now it was April. And this morning I had got sent to the hospital because, apparently, my heart stopped. And I was awake throughout the whole experience, and didn't pass out, though I almost did, and I didn't show any sick signs. True, it did hurt a little, but other than that I was ok.

In the hospital, after many examinations, I heard the doctors in the hall, behind a wall and a door talking about how I was a phenomenon. Probably because only a few minutes after it had stopped, and I was still standing, it had restarted faintly, sending another little jolt of pain through me.

Of course an ambulance was immediately called, and of course the whole school had heard the story and gave me peculiar stares as I was loaded onto a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance.

My mom didn't even know until a few hours later, and came right away, screaming that I was not to be here without her consent… screaming at the doctors of course.

She had been acting stranger and stranger over the past few weeks. She definitely knew something, but wasn't telling.

My step-father didn't seem too concerned. So Ellen had obviously not told him.

Yes, I did have a step-father. Ellen said that my real dad disappeared when I was born. And that's all I was told about him. I had never asked any more.

She had met Andrew only a year after I was born. And he had been in my life ever since. If I hadn't been told he was not my real father, I would've never known. His hair was almost the same shade of reddish-brown mine was –like a burgundy colour, and although his hair was cut much shorter than mine, it was pretty much the same.

It was familiar that hair fell into my face and eyes, and I always try to push it away, but it never worked.

Andrew also had the same build as me, but he was a bit more muscular. Our facial features weren't quite the same, but they were pretty close. The only huge differences were that my eyes were blue, almost like violets as my mom or old girlfriend said, and his were dark brown. And I had really pale skin as a result to low blood pressure.

Well, now it was almost dinner-time, and only a couple hours earlier when everyone got off school, Monica called me and broke up with me, telling me I was too much of a freak. I wasn't that upset about it; it hadn't really been working out for both of us. We got in fights all the time about the stupidest things.

Right away I knew if Monica thought I was a freak, everyone would think I was a freak. Most of Monica's friends were my friends. And everyone followed her. She was the queen bee; a sheep herder if you will. She was everything the most popular girl in the school should be; blond, blue eyes, perfect clear skin, thin, had an amazing figure… But she was amazingly stupid and didn't have much of an original mind. I didn't even remember the reason why I had asked her out.

But because she had broken up with me, I would be the least popular guy in school, have next to no friends, and be called a freak all the time since the reason she had broken up with me was that she herself thought I was a freak. It was only a stupid medical issue! Something I could not control. Why of all people did this have to happen to me?

"Avery! It's dinner time." Ellen called from down stairs, bringing me back down to Earth. I sighed.

Dinner was usually something only Ellen and Andrew attended, and I would stay up here and mull over things. Ellen only called me to dinner when she wanted to talk to me about something. There was no excuse for me to skip dinner, and our conversation.

Rolling out of bed, I grabbed a sweater and pulled it on over my school uniform that I hadn't thought to change out of yet.

Then I ran down the stairs, ignoring the fact that I was traveling way faster then normal.

When I first noticed that, I was at school, and was running to meet Monica in the parking lot. I almost hit a car that was backing up: a car that I thought would be out of that particular spot long before I would get there. It missed me by inches, but I had gotten weird looks from everyone. Why couldn't I just be normal?

Within seconds, I was in the cozy kitchen, sitting down on the opposite end of the bar stool counter where we would eat. Surprisingly, there was a plate in front of me filed with steak, mashed potatoes, macaroni, and Caesar salad. I had no idea why Ellen would put a plate out for me; she knew I wouldn't eat anything.

Ellen sat on my right side, while Andrew was on my right. He ate steadily while Ellen played with her food thoughtfully –obviously brooding.

I sat patiently looking at her, waiting for her to start talking.

She sighed quietly, her eyes shaded, still looking at her food.

"Eat your food, Ave. We'll talk later, after we're done." I just looked at her disbelievingly. She wanted me to eat?

"I'm not hungry," My voice was so low it was hard to hear. Ellen heard though, and shook her head.

"Please eat, Avery. You need to." That's all she would say.

Sighing, I began to pick a piece of the salad and chew it slowly, looking at my mom's face all the while. Why exactly did I need to eat? I couldn't really taste anything anymore. It was only faint. Besides, I didn't need it anyway.

Ellen looked pretty awful today… no offence to her. It was just a generality.

She usually wore nice work clothing all the time. She now wore a big baggy faded pink sweater with paint smears all over. Her ripped jeans were also paint smeared. It looked as if she had come back from an art convention.

Then there was how messy her dark brown hair was. It was all frizzy, and piled up on top of her head like a hay stack. Normally she would've brushed it till it was almost straight, then either would leave it down or put it up in a pony tail.

And worst of all were the big purple bags under her eyes. I hadn't noticed them developing over the last few days, or possibly even weeks. She usually looked much younger than she was. The skin on her face was still youthful, so she had no need for make-up to correct wrinkles and such yet. She would use black eye-liner most of the time, but now her face was clear of any make-up. She was usually a fairly attractive woman, but right now in the mood she was in, it wasn't showing. I could see the reason why Andrew loved her so much.

The mood she was in right now did not seem like her at all. True, she was quiet most of the time, and was up for anything I wanted to do, not pushing what she wanted on me. But she was never this quiet, and she was never this depressed. Only on the occasional time she would get depressed.

Thinking about what exactly she wanted to talk about after dinner, I began to pick at my food more, moving on to my macaroni.

But before I could move on to the subject, Andrew broke the silence. It was surprising. He barely talked while eating.

"So, Ave, are you going back to school tomorrow?" I nodded a slow yes. Wasn't that obvious?

He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Well, I'm surprised. After today's incident, I thought you'd probably want to stay home." Shaking my head, I thought of the reasons why I wouldn't stay home. Boring. Boring. And boring. There was nothing to do at home, and even though I didn't like the thought of going to school and receiving everyone's stares, it was better then being home sitting on the couch, or bed watching TV all day.

"You'd better watch yourself at school then. You don't want to go back to the hospital again; your mother had a horrible time getting you out of there." Instantly I felt bad. But I still didn't know why Ellen worked so hard to keep me out of the hospital. I don't think she's had any fears of hospitals in the past.

That was probably the reason why Ellen looked like she did right now, and I felt bad seeing her like that.

Suddenly Ellen got up, her plate somehow free of food that I hadn't seen her eat, and put her plate in the sink. I followed suit, but instead I scraped all my food out. I'd barely touched anything.

Seeing Ellen go out to the spacious white living room, I followed her, and sat down beside her on the huge white couch. She was looking at the floor, away from me, and it took a few minutes for her to begin.

"Ave, I know you've been going through some tough times in school because of your… medical state, and I just want you to know that you can talk to me whenever you need to." She was now looking at my face, waiting for a response before she would continue. I tried not to look embarrassed as best I could, but it was really hard.

"Sure. Thanks…" That's all I managed to get out before she continued.

"What happened today is probably going to happen again. I don't trust the doctors, and I don't want you to let them notice if it happens again. Trust me; I know you'll be perfectly fine. And one more thing; I know you know that I am keeping something from you. I am, and I am not telling you till later. I think you might accept it better later, so just bear with me until then, alright?" Her voice was really strained and gruff by the end of her little speech, and all I could do was nod. I was right; she had been hiding something from me. But I still didn't know what it was, and I desperately needed to know what was happening to me. Was it that bad that when she told me I would be in denial?

She stood up, leaving me pondering on the couch. Before she left, she patted me on the back comfortingly, and smiled apologetically.

"I think I will be able to tell you soon. Don't worry about it too much. Good-night, honey." I resisted the urge to cringe away as she bent down to kiss my forehead.

And I wondered how on earth I would survive tomorrow.

X X X

Afterward, around twelve midnight, I stepped out the house into the fresh Port Alberni air and walked over to the railing, sitting on it so I could swing my legs over the side so I was facing the ocean. A salty breeze brushed my face and I sighed, trying to relax and let my worries go for a minute.

I had lived here my whole life as far as I was aware of. The wilderness and everything about this place was amazing.

Usually I would try to hike every day. My preferred route ran along the edge of the water, and then cut into the forest a bit. It ended at a craggy rock wall that I would have to scale in order to get up to my favorite spot. It was a tiny, tiny clearing, and it looked out onto the water. It was grass covered with a lot of overgrowth, but it still looked beautiful. It was the most peaceful spot to be for me. When you were in the clearing at night, looking out at the water while the moon was shining, it was even more breathtaking.

It had trees surrounding it, but a little dirt path I had made was there, leading deeper into the forest. Most often I would go there. But yet I had never taken anyone up there yet. I hadn't even told anyone about it. It seemed too special, and I just liked to keep things, especially that kind of thing, to myself.

Maybe I should just hang out in the clearing all day and skip school. I didn't really need to worry about missing anything, since I would be able to catch up in no time. Right now, I was probably doing better than most of the students in my grade. I was a fairly good student, so why couldn't I just miss a day…?

Sighing, I realized that would be a mistake. It would be better to face the wrath of the students awaiting me at school sooner than later.

Realizing thinking about this was irritating me; I hopped down from the banister and ran back inside. It probably wouldn't be any good, because I would think about it more inside, but at least there wouldn't be a temptation to skip school by going to my clearing tomorrow.

I exhaled loudly, and jumped off the banister, falling to the grassy ground and taking off into the trees. I would try to sleep tonight, and to do that, I was going to make myself tired.

I ran through the trees as fast as my legs would allow me, and in almost no time I found myself in the clearing, having climbed up the rocky face of it.

I sighed and flopped down onto the ground watching the stars.

Well… I guessed, as I gazed at the stars, the world could be beautiful yet harsh.