Submission heading: The First Time Contest
Penname: TwistedWhiteWolfLegend/WhiteWolfLegend (same person different user names)
Title: Lost Love at Midnight
Word Count: 4,433
Rating: M
Pairing: Rosalie/Bella
Summary: She was the only thing that ever captured her interest, the only thing that caught her eyes; she was the only one who made her feel alive. She wanted her, even if it was just for such a short time, for fate was a cruel mistress and it wasn't meant to be… or was it?
Disclaimer: I do not own...
Rosalie POV
Flashes of brown washed across my vision; soft, flushed skin like silk beneath my fingertips as little kisses of fire trailed upmy neck, sucking hungrily.
"Rose! My God you haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"I turn my head and scowl at the little nymph my brother calls a wife. Her wide, anger filled eyes glare up at me as she waves her magazine in my face. Snapping, I yank the wretched thing from her hands, earning a gasp of surprise from her, before ripping it to shreds.
"Don't push me today, Alice! I am in no mood to play, sister," I snarl before storming to my room. The house is still with shock, all actives ceased as my anger reaches them. Throwing my door open I growl for peace and no interruptions, and as it slams closed I throw myself on my bed and gingerly, as carefully as I can, I open the little wooden box that is sat on the bedside table.
Opening the lid the scent I long for is long gone; the box revealing it sole contents, a scrap of blue material and a lock of brown hair - all that is left of my love. Before I can contain it a sob escapes my chest, and suddenly a soft knock reaches my ears. I quickly place the objects back into box and sit up on my bed.
"Come in," I whisper hoarsely, the door cracks open to reveal Jasper and Emmett, my brothers, the only ones who know of my mourning, of my lost love.
"Rose?" Jasper whispers in concern, shutting the door behind him as they sit on the edge of my bed. Long ago having any male with the confines of my room would send me into a spiralling downfall of horror. But now, now it's manageable, as long as they don't touch me without me starting the initial contact.
"Your mate again?" Emmett asks softly.
The others in the house all thought Emmett was my mate, but no. He reminded me so much of her; so close in personality, the hair, the eyes, when he whispered my name in his pain. But alas, Emmett was my brother, my comfort. He didn't mind of course, he enjoyed his life, his trips to Denali.
"Yes, I, I miss her so much" I cry out, burrowing my head in my hands as the sobs escape me. Their shocked gasps were the only sounds that filled the room as I let slip my little secret that piece of information. Ah yes, I had never uttered to them my deepest darkest secret.
"Your mate was a female? Oh, Rose, why did you never tell us?" Jasper sighs, but no judgment could be heard in his voice.
"I was afraid, I was afraid that if I spoke of her… if I spoke of her, our moment would be tarnished, that you would all judge me. That what I had done would..." I sob, trailing off not wanting to remember the pain; a small yelp escapes me, followed by calming waves as I feel a large hand cover my own.
"That would never happen, Rosalie. Will you tell us? Will you share with us the story of how you met her?" he asks softly, almost soothingly. With a deep breath I dig up old memories, memories that taunt me yet made me joyous.
It was April in the year 1934; it had been one year since I was damned to this hell. One year since everything I ever wanted and dreamed had been ripped away from me viciously.
"Rosalie?" I turned to see Esme standing at the door; her eyes were wide and full of hope. The woman was beautiful to a degree; she was a typical house wife and a mother… something I envied with the very being of my soul.
"Yes?" I snipped as I turned back to my reflection; some people called me vain, but me, I call this torture. To be this, this immortal beauty for the rest of my undead life?
"Would you like to come to a benefit?" My eyes locked onto hers instantly, hmm, it was tempting. Maybe I would see something that would distract me a little, by allowing me to hide in the world of luxury for a while.
"Okay," I whispered after much thought, noting the way her eyes lit up quickly. She pulled out a beautiful dress in the shade of lavender, the exact same colour I loved so much.
"I got this, in the hopes you would like to come," she whispered softly while placing it on the bed, though I waited till the door was closed before I moved towards it. It was a beautiful dress, one that would cover most of my skin, to which pleased me.
Lifting it carefully, trying not to rip it, I placed it on the hanger while I undressed. I could hear Edward and Carlisle getting ready as Esme waited patiently in the foyer of the house. With a sigh I lifted the dress over my head and let it slip down around me, it fitted like a glove and the fabric felt soft and silky against my skin.
As I sat back down at my vanity I considered what to do with my hair, but I was having trouble trying to decide. With a sigh I called Esme, which went against everything that went against my instincts, and I still didn't feel safe with them. Her gasp reached my ears followed by a glass vase shattering. A second later she was in my room, her eyes filled with unshed tears.
"I need help with my hair," I sighed, looking at her in the mirror. She walked forwards, her hand still pressed to her lips, eyes wide.
"Esme, are you going to help?" I sighed once more, this time in irritation, as she nodded, slowly and carefully before her shaking hands reach out to grip my hair. It was soft, like a feather, I could tell she was afraid to touch me, to hurt me.
"I don't know how to style it, do you?" I whispered, to give her an encouraging push. She gave me a soft smile and her hands got to work, weaving and twisting, pulling and tugging, pinning it as she went. Only a minute later maybe more, my hair was done up in a bun, but it looked like a golden flower. It was amazing and I knew I couldn't have done a better job.
"Thank you, Esme" I whispered, tentatively placing my hand on hers that rested slightly on my shoulder.
"You're welcome, dear. I think the boys are ready now," she murmured back in a soft, timid voice, I knew she was afraid to set me off and ruin the moment we'd just shared. I gave her a nod, indicating that I would be down soon. She flittered off quickly to go stand by her husband's side as I turned back to my dresser and carefully lifted the lid to my jewellery box. Nestled inside was a pendant, one that my elder sister had given to me before she passed away. The chain was made of gold roses intertwined with each other, joined together in the middle by a large lavender carved rose stone. I quickly clasped it around my neck and stood, slipping on the shoes by the end of the bed. I dared not look in the mirror as I left, my heels clicking on the wooden floors as I walked sounding my arrival.
The first one to see me was Carlisle, a warm smile on his face. His arm gripped Esme's waist lovingly, but it still made me flinch a little. Edward's look was blank and disinterested as he finally looked at me; I hated him more than anything and the feeling was mutual, his words during my wakening echoed in my head each time I heard or saw him.
"Can we go?" I asked sharply.
"Yes of course Rosalie. We have decided to walk tonight, it's a full moon." Carlisle explained softly as he opened the door for us. I moved past him quickly, as far from his outstretched arm as I could be and waited for them to take the lead.
"I still don't understand why we have to walk Carlisle. We are high up in society; we should be driven there, not walking like common folk." Edward complained from his position at Carlisle's side.
You arrogant jerk; just because we have money it doesn't make us any different from anyone else… I screamed at him in my mind, causing him to turn and smirk at me.
"You might be, but I am not," he scoffed as I narrowed eyes at him, thinking of all the ways I could harm him. I could tell Carlisle or Esme what that response was to, and I couldn't help but smirk as I saw his shoulders stiffen.
With a shake of my head I kept my eyes ahead; I could see the glow of the Mayor's house before us, the benefit was being held there as it was the largest of houses in the town and had its own ballroom. The air was crisp, but the smell of the whole place overrode its beauty; that was another thing I missed, and hated, in this new life. I could never enjoy the smell of summer or spring or oncoming fresh rain, I would always smell the underlying human stench, the sweat, the decaying flesh of the sick. It was horrible and dark.
As we got closer, the voices made me wince, laughing men and women, the stench of alcohol and perfume, ringing my ears and burning my nose.
"Ah, Doctor Cullen, I am so glad you and your family could come," the mayor greeted us at the door, his young wife smiling softly from his side, her stomach round with child.
I had always hated the mayor, his wife Ashlee was only the same age as his oldest daughter. She was also the same age as his deceased wife's niece that was staying with him. His daughter was a pale bitter child while his niece, though I had never seen nor met her, was a kind soul I had heard, rumours by his keep and the townsfolk.
I'm snapped out of my memory by Emmett's sharp intake of air, my eyes cutting to his as he frowns at the floor.
"Emmett?" I ask worried, even Jasper looks concerned.
"Just continue, please, I need to hear this," he chokes out.
With a worried look I do as he asks.
"Yes, my wife and our children have come to share our fortune with those in need," Carlisle replied back formally, his smile tight.
We knew the truth; this was just a way for all the rich to come together and gossip, to exploit their money and status.
"Ah, and what fine children you have," he said, his stare lingering on me longer than necessary.
"Yes, we are quite proud," Esme clipped in as she noted his stare and my nervous fidget.
"Well, go in and enjoy the benefit," he uttered, his attention then focused on saying hello to the family behind us.
The whole house was dressed in shades of red and fine crystal. I knew I came from a rich family, but we tried to not show off how much we actually owned. Yes, we acted as such and had fine things but to throw all this extravagance in other people's faces? It was egotistical and unnecessary.
The room was filled by nearly all the town's wealthy citizens and some from the next county over; music was played by a small orchestra upon the balcony above the ball room as people danced to their symphony. People who saw us stared; men leered at me while women unashamedly ogled Carlisle and Edward.
I regretted agreeing to Esme's request instantly, what fool am I to think I could hide my fear in luxury when there were men so close to touch me. Their leering eyes burnt my skin, I felt suffocated, like the room was swallowing me up whole.
"Excuse me, miss?" my eyes darted down to a petite woman. Her eyes, like melted chocolate, stood out against her flushed porcelain skin. Her dark chestnut hair with a tint of gold and red curled around her face like a lover's embrace. She was beautiful, human, and I envied her.
"Rosalie, my name is Rosalie," I managed to choke out, my eyes darting around the room, flinching when a man came to close to me.
"Ah," she said as her eyes trailed the man's movements, her little, warm hand wrapping around my arm. Her smile was tender and comforting as she led me through the crowd, smiling here and there to others as she passed. I didn't take in much of my surroundings until the cool, crisp air touched my skin.
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles.*1" She uttered to me, her gaze sweeping out into the forest.
"I'm sorry?" I asked in confusion. Who was this strange, beautiful woman?
"You were badly hurt by a man, but nothing in this world is permanent, Rosalie. Our troubles will come and go; we suffer through the bad and things may become worse but they will get better." She whispered, her wise eyes flickering to me.
"What do you know of my pain?" I hissed bitterly, my eyes burning as her knowing stare made me look away.
"I know a man has hurt you, I know your pain, Rosalie. A man has hurt me too; he took from me a gift I can now never give to a man who I might have eventually loved," she whispered, her hands flying to her stomach.
"I am sorry," I murmured back, not wanting to see this woman in pain.
"It is okay, I understand your anger. It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." she answered wisely once again.
"That's very profound," I turned to face her.
"My mother said that, before she passed away," she told me, tears welling in her eyes.
"It was my fiancé," I whispered, not know why I was telling her. "He was drunk and he was with friends. They all took turns before leaving me there to die in the street," I choke out, falling into tearless sobs as her small body wrapped around my shaking frame.
She smelled like vanilla and strawberries, a scent and sweet I loved so much when I was human.
"It was my betrothed too… He took what wasn't his and stabbed me one night in the barn. My brothers found me, naked, beaten and bleeding to death… My father sent me here to live with my aunt before she too passed away," she shared her story in a soft voice, her salty tears splashing against my skin.
"It seems as bad as it is, we share the same pain," she muttered. "I can never trust men, Rosalie. Like you I hate them to my very core, fear them with every bone. But I won't let it rule me; I must turn my pain into strength. But, I will never again be with a man," she whispered looking down and away with disgrace and humiliation. I frowned though, confused by her words, by her shame.
"I don't understand." I reached out to touch her but stopped as she flinches.
"I am attracted to women, Rosalie. I always have been and my betrothed found that out. What he did was my punishment for it." She spat the words out bitterly as her eyes narrowed into slits. Oh, she liked women. My sister was like that, she was the black sheep of the family my mother would say. But I couldn't see her judgement, my sister loved her beloved Erin with her heart and love was love to me.
"I won't judge you for that."
"Rosalie I know that we just met, and it is improper for me to say, after everything that has happened; but I feel this feeling with you. This strange sense of safety and passion. I feel safe with you, protected with you. Is that silly of me?" she asks a soft blush gracing her cheeks.
Was it silly? No, because I too felt that way with her, I felt safe in her presence. I felt that the world was far away and my troubles couldn't reach me as I sobbed in her arms. Her scent calming me, I had felt no terror in her arms, no fear of being hurt like before. Maybe this woman, this tiny beauty could be my one, could be what I longed for.
"No I feel it too," I whispered, stepping so close to her, so close that all I had to do was lower my head and our lips would meet. This surprised me, shocked me
"Can I show you what it feels like to be worshiped? Let me worship you, Rosalie, let me show you that not all beings are cruel." She stepped close to me, her body flush against mine, her heat seeping into my very skin making it burn in the most blissful way. I couldn't believe that this beautiful being could want someone like me, someone so damaged.
"Yes," I breathed. With that her lips were on mine; they were soft like a feather and delightfully warm, almost scorching me with their heat. She tasted as well as she smelled, like the finest sweets.
Her hands trailed up my back and twined in my hair gently, unlike Royce who had ripped it out from the bun I had it in. With a soft sigh I let myself get lost in the kiss, how slow yet passionate it seemed to be as her teeth softly nibbled on my lower lip.
I was to be wary of my teeth, so she wouldn't accidently cut her lip on mine. I couldn't change her into the monster like me, or worse, kill her because of it.
"Let me love you, Rosalie, for this night you need to be shown love," she crooned in my ear.
"If you would allow me to do the same," I murmured back, my body on fire. I wanted this woman with my whole being; I wanted to cherish her, to someday love her. But I knew tonight would be our first, last and only time to be together.
"Come with me, quickly," she giggled, dashing off back inside and up the stairs. I couldn't help but giggle and chase her, at a human pace of course, my hands lifting my dress as I went. Her laughter echoed the halls of the house, my name falling from her lips like a prayer as she led me to her room.
I followed her to the room at the very end of the hall; it was all browns and reds, with deep purples. It was amazing, books scattered on nearly every surface.
But all awe was gone when I felt her lips on my neck, sucking softly, almost hunger like. I let her move me towards the bed as her little fingers undid the ties in my dress, my hands fumbled with hers and it made me feel human again.
With one hand she reached back and pulled her clip from her hair, letting it fall in waves down her back as she softly nudged me towards the bed. She allowed the dress to slip from her slender form, revealing her body clothed in nothing but her stockings.
"Do you like?" she whispered nervously as my eyes trailed up and down her form, soaking her in. A long jagged scar went from her hip to her navel; a dark and angry pink against her creamy flesh.
"Yes," I breathed, standing to pull mine off. My hands trembled at the hem, only to hesitate as her warm fingers held them in place, her lips kissing away my fears.
"Let me," she murmured, her hands pulling away my lavender dress softly, yet swiftly, her hands trailing my form as she went. "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen," she whispered, placing a soft kiss on my chest. "Let me worship you," she uttered softly, once more nudging me on the bed softly, carefully, like I was the most prized possession she owned and cherished.
I couldn't remember much after that, bar her sweet nothings, my name falling from her lips in a prayer. She worshipped me, like I worshipped her. My hands trailed her curves with the lightest touches, absorbing her heat and enjoying the silkiness of her skin…
I stopped there, not wanting to share my most intimate time with my beauty, my little Bell. Emmett's frame was tense, his eyes hard, and yet, he held a soft fond smile.
"What happens next, Rose? I understand you not wanting to share that intimate time with her with us," Jasper asks softly, his hand patting the bed where I knew he was wishing that he could pat my hand. Even now, though I can be touched I still don't like it. It wasn't because of my horrible experience, but because of her… my bell. No touch felt right but hers.
"I… I don't want you to calm me, I need to feel this," I choke out, grasping the pillow tightly to my chest. "I was in the throes of passion, so close to bliss I let my control slip just a little. I felt my lips trailing up her body and neck, sucking and nipping softly, her moans playing like angel horns in my ear and then ambrosia…
So sweet, like the finest of candies, the finest of scents. A moan escaped my lips as I swallowed the warm, revitalising liquid, feeling it flow down my throat like a balm to the fire that scorched my whole body.
"Rosalieee… Pl-please stop…." My name, I knew that was my name... but who called my name…
"Please stop..." the words echoed around and around my head, causing me to jerk back in horror as I stared down at the beauty who had worshipped me just moments before. Blood stained the sheets and matted in her hair, staining her flesh a rose pink. Her lips were pale and colourless as she stared up at me with horror, yet forgiveness was in her wise brown eyes.
"I forgive you my Rose, my beautiful Rose…" she whispered hoarsely, her blood coated fingers haphazardly struggling to brush against my cheek.
A sob escaped me at what I had done, my beast killing the very thing it wanted so dearly. Her heart gave a deadly stutter and I knew it was too late to save her, to save this delicate beauty in my arms.
"Live… Live for me my Rose," she mumbled.
"I don't even know your name," I choked out, causing a smile to break on her face, followed by a cough and a splatter of blood.
"My… my name is... Isa… Isabella," she whispered before her hand fell limply from my cheek and her heart stopped its beat, the clock striking midnight.
"No, no, no, NO! You can't die on me!" I sobbed, a roar of agony escaping my lips. I held her close and rocked her in my arms, singing the song my sister used to use to sing me to sleep. When I could hear the party draw to a close I made my escape, jumping from the window as I cradled her in my arms. My mate, the one I was meant to be with.
I took her to my secret place; the spot I went to to escape when things became to much, where no one but me, and now her, would ever know exists. It was a small river with a little waterfall; it was simple, beautiful and amazing none the less, just like her.
I buried her there, taking a lock of hair and the little fabric that was on her, a ribbon that was still tied in her hair. I clasped the necklace I loved and cherished around her pale neck and buried her, leaving her there as I cried in the rain.
Emmett stood, his face grim as he paces.
"What's wrong Emmett?" I whisper, confused, my voice rough from my sobs. He stops, his eyes softening as he looks down at me, deep sadness clear to see in his eyes.
"Isabella Marie McCarty was her name, she was my older sister." He whispers, choking on the last word and sheer horror and guilt grip me.
"I'm…" I tried to sob out 'I'm sorry', but he silences me.
"I can't blame you Rosalie; my sister was a broken shell of herself when that bastard took her. Father sent her away, not because of what happened because he didn't want her to suffer more. There were seven men in our household and no women. He didn't want her to constantly live in fear. You showed her love and you worshipped her, like she showed to you. I thank you for that, but you can't suffer in this guilt, she wouldn't want that," he throws me a sad smile before leaving the room.
"He is right, she wouldn't want that," Jasper whispers.
"I would like to be alone now," I choke out, moving to the bay window. I could see his reflection in the window between the lightning and thunder strikes.
"I understand. Thank you though, for sharing memories of your little Bell," he whispers and leaves, closing the door with a soft click.
When I knew he was gone I let out a cry, my face buried in the pillow as I sob her name.
Over and over like a chant, how I ached for her, my love.
For an hour or it could have been days I cried for her, for the life I stole, for the love I killed. With one last look out towards the forest, my eyes caught a glimmer, and as the lightning lit up the sky I saw her.
She was standing in the trees, her smile wide and her hair blowing in the breeze. Her eyes though, her eyes once brown, were now a glittering red.
"My little Bell," I whisper in awe.
"My beautiful Rose," she mouths back.
A/N: First try at a Femslash or well slash in general. AND this got 3rd in Judges vote and 1st with Matt Lutz choice! :D I want to thank my lovely BETA for going through this and fixing everything, and my awesome prereaders, love you!
*1 is a quote by Charles Chaplin
*2 is a quote by Rose Kennedy