The wads of paper fly at my head as the darkness in the room flickers with light as Romeo and Juliet plays across my English 4 classroom.
It's senior year and I've seen this goddamn movie too many times.
Every one of the crumpled up pieces of paper have one word on them written over and over, front to back. One I see, which I know is from Glimmer because she signed it, says Whore written all over it.
I clench my left hand around my pencil and stare at the screen.
Finally, it gets to the point that I'm about to cry, so I get up and go to the bathroom. I have a t-shirt under this sweatshirt. I keep my head down to hide the redness in my eyes, and then I walk into the bathroom. It looks empty, so I take off the sweatshirt and look at the ugly, fresh and old cuts on my wrists, and the scars.
Mama and Daddy would be so upset if they saw the real me. Prim would be, too. They know I'm bullied, but they just don't know how badly.
That's one thing I'm grateful for. The love and support in my life is amazing. My parents are consistent, and they support Prim and I no matter what.
I'm bullied because I'm a music freak. I love everything about music, and I actually have seventeen guitars. I get a new one for my birthday every year. I can play drums, and piano, and keyboard, and violin, and flute. I can sing, too. I'm in guitar and I often have concerts, and I love it. Mama and Daddy come to every performance. My family is wealthy, but Prim and I aren't spoiled. I was born and raised in Philadelphia, and I still live here now.
But then the bully. That's destroys my happiness.
I'm not a whore. In fact, I've never even had a boyfriend, or my first kiss. My parents know this, and they support it.
I am ugly though, but not fat. I'm a geek, and I'm not really proud of it.
Hunter Hayes is my inspiration and I love him.
I am a nerd because I'm a straight A student. Mama and Daddy are very strict about school.
I want to get into Julliard.
I'm so upset right now. I lean against the wall, and some girl walks out of the bathroom.
She's popular. I can't remember her name, but she's one of the poplar's. Glimmer's gang is the second most popular, while this girl is the in the most popular group of all of Northridge High School. Her boyfriend is a football player.
I think they're all snobby bitches.
I pick my sweatshirt up and snatch the paper from my hood and toss it in the trash. There is two pieces. One says nerd and the other says fatass.
I pull my hoodie back on. The final bell rings, and I wash my face off. She stands there in silence, watching me. She looks almost…remorseful. I dry my face, and she walks out, and I wait three minutes before walking out. I got back to English with Mr. Bell, and I grab my bag, but my guitar isn't here.
No. That's my favorite guitar. My Nana got me that for my fifth birthday. It's expensive, and if anything happens to it, I'll fucking die. I'll probably cry.
I turn to face Mr. Bell.
"Where's my guitar?"
He shrugs. "Glimmer said you told her she could borrow it."
God, it's Friday. She has all weekend to destroy it.
I rush out the door and down the hall. If I see her with it, I'll kick her ass.
People are yelling, and I think they're actually yelling stop. There's a circle, and people try to stop me as I shove my way through it.
And there's my guitar, in pieces on the tile of the hallway. Glimmer's standing there, frozen, and it's like the whole world freezes.
Right away, everyone runs, and it's like the whole school disappears, and I'm left alone. The case is still intact.
Cars go flying from the senor parking lot, as I see out the window.
I fall to my knees, literally, and I open the case. Before I can even help it, tears start pouring from my eyes, down my cheeks, and drip to the floor. I sniffle, and wipe my cheeks as I slowly, collect the pieces. I hear footsteps, quiet ones, and then someone kneels down across from me.
"Just leave me alone, okay?" I mumble.
"I'm so sorry this happened." Someone whispers. I look up, and I'm met with the same popular from the bathroom. Her long dark hair cascades far enough that it's about three inches from the floor. She does actually look sorry, and her face is gentle, and her smile is soft. Her green eyes are emerald, and they're wet, with tears, I think. She sticks her hand out. "I'm Annie. Annie Cresta."
I nod. "A cheerleader."
She nods.
"Finnick Odair's girlfriend." She nods again, and tucks her hair behind her left ear.
"You're Katniss Everdeen."
"Nobody knows my name." I mutter.
"Everybody knows your name." she smiles, and I look back at her eyes. She reaches across to brush some of my tears away.
"No, not really." I whisper.
"Yes. You are the most musically talented person in this high school. You can play a ton of instruments, and you can sing. I bet your parents are very proud."
I nod slowly. "Thank you." I whisper, picking up the little tiny shards. I shut the case, and stand up.
"Let me walk you to your car." She says.
I feel like she's fake. She's doing this to get on my good side just to break me.
We walk outside, and when I see my car, I swear I could die.
It's been painted, with terrible, terrible words. Whore and slut and bitch and music cunt and nerd and know it all. There's others, but I can't read anymore. He guitar case falls from my hands, and Annie catches it.
"Oh Katniss…" she trails off, and touches the paint. It's still wet. "How about I come to your house? We can wash the car together and um…I don't know, maybe we an invite some of my friends and w can o to the ovies tonight?"
"At my house?" I ask, biting my lip.
"If that's not okay then…" she trails off.
"No, that's okay."
I would ask my parents, but they'll be so thrilled that I have friends over that they won't care, and they'll be pissed enough about the guitar and my car, too.
People well…when they see my house they think of me as a snobby rich kid.
We are…rich. Right when you walk in the door, the stars are on your left. They're huge. There's a door diagonal from the stairs that leads to a bathroom. Down the giant hall, the kitchen is on your right. There is giant professionally take pictures of Prim or I, or the four of us. The kitchen is huge, marble countertops and cream walls. Right in front of you is the living room, which is huge, with a piano, and there's a huge fireplace. The dining room is across from the kitchen, on your left, and that has a 12 seated table. It has another fireplace. In the living room there is a door and it opens into a puny room with a metal spiral staircase. That leads to a bedroom, which just so happens to be my music room. It's filled with records and instruments. There are windows all over that room. Up the stairs right by the door, to your left there is a bedroom, my Mom and Dad's, which has a bathroom attached. There's also a pantry in the kitchen, which I forgot to mention, and it's a walk in pantry. To the left hall, there is a room right at the end, mine, the second biggest, with a bathroom attached. Prim has a room to the left of the left hall with a bathroom attached, and then there is another bedroom, the guest room. It's big, but it's the last biggest. Every room has a window seat, and the front end of the upstairs is windows.
The house is giant, and it has a three car garage attached. There's a pool and a pond in the backyard, every room has a fireplace, and we have two acres of trees. We have four dogs. One is a German Shepard, one is a Siberian Husky, one is a King Charles Spaniel, and one is a golden retriever. All the dogs are protective, and all of them get along. There is also a big porch at the front door, and a side door in the living room that leads out to the pool.
Oh, and there's a basement, which is a game room and a movie theatre.
My car though, is a 2013 Chevrolet Malibu LS. It's white.
Annie pulls up behind me in her car, and I get in mine and I speed to my house, because I don't want anyone to see the car.
There's no cars outside. They could be in the garage, but I'm hoping nobody is home so they don't have to find out how bad Glimmer is. I volunteer at Sam Ash and I also work there so all my college is paid for. I have money to fix the guitar, but I look like I was crying, and Mama is gonna know.
I get out and shut the door and lock the car, with my shattered guitar, and my school bag.
"You live here?" Annie asks.
"Uh…yeah." I say.
"Dang."
"It doesn't make me a snobby rich kid." I say. She laughs.
"My house is five room and five point five bathrooms. It's huge too, but…still. Your house is beautiful."
"Thanks. Now be quiet, I don't want Mama and Daddy to find out." She nods, and I slip into the house. She follows me, and I almost get to the music room, before I hear Mama clear her throat.
"Katniss." She says. I freeze. "Come here."
I look at her in fear, and I see her see I've been crying, and concern crosses her face.
"Let me just put this upstairs-"
"Nope, let me see it." She says.
"Mama-"
"No honey. You've been crying. Let me see the guitar."
Slowly, I walk into the kitchen and set my guitar case on the counter. She pens the case, and the blood runs from her face. "Ethan!" she shouts.
"Mama!" I hiss.
Daddy walks into the kitchen and sees I've been crying, too, and he looks in the case, and he looks pissed.
"Who did this?" he asks.
"I-I don't know!"
"You're lying! Is this the bitch that's been bullying you?" Mama demands.
"mama-"
"Answer the question."
"Yes." I whisper, and they both look pissed.
Prim comes downstairs then. She's seven, but she's not stupid.
"What happened to your car?" she asks. I look at her in rage, and both Mama and Daddy go out to the porch.
Mama comes back in first. "This is ridiculous!" she says. "Explain." She says, and Daddy walks in.
I take in a shaky breath. Annie's silent, watching.
"I was watching Romeo and Juliet in English and…they started throwing paper at me and they wrote mean names all over them and…well, I was going to cry so I went to the bathroom and…the bell rang and I went back to the class and…and my guitar was gone. By the time I got there, it was too late. She destroyed it, and…" I take in a deep breath and wipe away my sleeve slipped up a little too far, and I know Mama saw the secrets, because her eyes widen but she doesn't do anything else. "Well, Annie came over and she calmed me down and helped me pick up the pieces and…she walked me to my car and…" I sigh. "We saw that, and now she's here to help me wash it off and her friends are gonna come over and…" I trail off.
"Katniss," Mama says carefully. "Take your sweatshirt off."
"No." I say. Daddy catches on, and so does Annie.
"Take it off." Mama says. I can tell I don't have a choice. Slowly, I pull off my sweatshirt, and ll of them see the cuts. Mama turns around without a word, and I hear her crying and then her door slams. Daddy looks pissed, and he picks up the phone and calls something. He walks outside and slams that door, and then Prim walks away, and it's just Annie and I.
"Katniss." Annie whispers. I shake my head.
"You should go." I whisper. "You can come back tomorrow or…I'll see you Monday. I can take care of the car."
"Katniss." Annie sighs. I shake my head, and she turns around and walks out.
I bolt upstairs to my room, and I fall face first on my bed, and I just cry, because today sucked. My car looks terrible, my guitar is destroyed, and now my whole family hates me.
After nearly an hour, I stop crying and roll over and stare at the ceiling. I hear a soft knock on my door, and Mama comes in. She's alone.
"I really don't want to talk right now." I whisper.
She sits down next to me in silence. "Then you can just listen." She whispers, running her fingers through my hair. "Your father called the police and he's going to the station to get that girls fingerprints off your guitar. The school has footage of her vandalizing your car, and of her destroying your guitar." She sighs. "Honey, I wish…you would talk to me instead of harming yourself. You are worth so much more than this. I've made you an appointment for the doctors and tomorrow, you're going to get depression medicine. If you keep this up, I won't have any choice but rehab. Now, I want to go to your bathroom and get anything you use to do that."
"Mama." I whisper.
"No, Katniss." She says. "I don't want my little girl doing this. You're so beautiful and talented and smart and amazing. Are you really going to let some bitch destroy you?"
I stay silent. "How long have you been doing this to yourself?" I don't answer. "Katniss." She says.
"Since ninth grade." I mumble. She nods, and she's masking her emotions. Daddy is going to take your guitar to the guitar doctor and get it fixed. It'll be okay sweetie, I promise." She kisses my forehead and stands up.
"I will be checking your body every day." She says. "And yes, I mean your whole body."
I sigh softly. "Okay."
"Now, show me where the blade is."
I take her to the bathroom, and I hand her to blade, and she searches through the cabinets and takes anything fishy.
"And I will be sitting in here while you shower, so when you shave I'm here."
And then she makes me strip naked, and she walks around me. I decide to just shower now, and then, with her and Prim's begging, I put on shredded jean short shorts, a black bra, and a black tank top. Mama covers my wrist in ointment and Band-Aids and scar cream, and then I go downstairs with her.
"Where'd that girl go?" Mama asks.
"Uh, I made her leave."
She sighs. "What's her name?" she asks.
"Annie." I say.
"Annie what?"
"Cresta." I reply. She pulls out her phone and after a minute or two, she dials a number and walks out to the patio.
I grab a bag of sour cream and onion chips and sit lay down on the couch and flip the TV on to Million Dollar Listing: New York.
I love this show. Fredrick is funny and Ryan is hot. Luis is okay, but he's getting a bit over his head with his job and he's being a bit self-centered. Mama gets off the phone and calls someone else, and then she hangs up and comes inside and starts dinner.
She's making a giant dinner.
It smells really good. I put the chips away, and I put them in the pantry, and go peek over her shoulder.
Mmmm, chicken cutlets, mashed potatoes, and green beans.
"Katniss," Mama begins. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Are you skinny like that because you're fit, or because you have another thing I should know about it?"
I smile. "I'm fit, Mama."
She nods, and I help her make the rest of it. Daddy gets home right as it finishes.
"Bad news." He says. "They can't arrest or fine her because she's a minor, but she's getting community service."
Great, now she's going to be pissed and she'll make sure my life is even worse than it is now.
Dammit, I miss my blade.