Late Night Musings, a gilmore girls fanfic

Authors Note: I don't own Gilmore Girls and I don't own Snow Patrol. If I did I would be too busy to write fanfiction.

Now I don't really know where this story came from. All I know was it needed to be written. It's a bit different from my usual style but I hope you'll enjoy it.

For G. My Rory.

Happy Reading

Late Night Musings

Jess looked up from his notebook as someone knocked on his apartment door. Striding over and opening it he did a double take when he saw who was on the other side.

"Hello Jess" she said fiddling nervously with the handle of the canvas bag she was carrying.

"Rory" he breathed "what are you doing here."

"Can I come in?"

He nodded and stepped aside. Slowly she moved inside and took a look around. It was a medium sized apartment with bookshelves filling ever wall apart from a few obscure band posters and piles of books were sitting on every flat surface. It was unmistakable Jess.

Jess stood watching her. He had always hoped that one day she would come visit him but now that she was here he couldn't quite get his head around it. "Do you want some coffee?" he said at last.

She was sitting on the couch by this stage and looking up at him she nodded slowly "that would be nice."

He moved into the kitchen and began to scoop coffee into the machine. As it percolated he stood against the door frame and watched the girl that had got away. She had picked up one of his books from the coffee table and was leafing through it tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear at the same time. She grown it out again and he was glad about that. He'd always liked tucking her hair behind her ear when they were together.

"Here you are" he said carrying the coffee cups through and placing one on the table in front of her.

"Thanks"

He sat down on a chair opposite her and took a sip of his own drink "so why are you here."

She sighed and reached into her bag. Pulling out a book she passed it to him wordlessly. He took a look at the cover and smiled "On the Road," he looked up "you're pulling a Sal."

She nodded "needed something to do once I'd finished on the campaign trail."

"I read some of your stuff" Jess said "Luke forwarded it to me. It was very good."

"Thanks. Apparently no-one else thinks so cause I'm still looking for a job."

"Someone will" Jess said reassuringly "so what does trust-fund think of this."

"I don't know" Rory said after a few seconds pause "Logan and I aren't seeing each other any more."

Jess leaned forward "what happened? I thought he made you happy."

"He did." Rory leaned back both hands clasped around the cup "He asked me to marry him."

Jess' face remained impartial "but"

Rory sighed "I wasn't ready. But he couldn't wait."

"Well I'm glad" Jess said finally "I never thought he was right for you."

"Maybe your right" Rory admitted "anyway that's all in the past."

"So why are you here" Jess repeated for the third time.

She gestured towards the book he still held "like you said. I'm pulling a Sal."

He shook his head "Ror I've read this book I don't know how many times. If you're really following Kerouac's lead you have no reason to be in Philly. So what are you doing in my living room?"

Rory said nothing instead standing up and moving towards the door "I'm sorry Jess I've got to go. Thanks for the coffee."

Jess stood up and grabbed her arm "Rory" he said firmly "why are you here."

She turned and looked at him "I had to see you" she said "I had to see what your life is like."

He smiled and gestured with his free arm to the room around him "what you see is what you get."

She smiled back "Doesn't look like anyone else has been here recently. No girlfriend."

He ran a hand through his hair and laughed "no time. I'm too busy with Truncheon and my book."

"You're writing another" Rory said surprised.

"Trying too" he looked at the clock "do you want to stay for a dinner. Maybe a film."

Rory relaxed "that would be nice. So long as it isn't Almost Famous."

After dinner the pair sat sprawled across the couch. "That was great" Rory said "but I really should get going."

Jess shifted slightly "you got somewhere sorted."

Rory shook her head slowly "no. I came straight here from the bus station."

Jess sat up "well you're not going to find anything decent this late. Why don't you stay here?"

"I'm not sure" Rory protested weakly.

"Come on Ror" Jess said "I'll even let you have the bed."

Rory caved "okay. I'll stay."

Jess smiled "I'll go make up the bed."

A few minutes later Rory walked into the bedroom "thanks," she said.

"Anytime" Jess replied pulling some clothes out of the drawer and making for the door.

"Where are you going to sleep" Rory said suddenly.

He gestured towards the living room "the couch."

Rory shook her head "what no. I couldn't."

Jess held up a hand to stop her "Rory. Go to sleep."

She shook her head "fine. But don't complain when you wake up with a bad neck."

A few hours later Rory woke and finding herself unable to sleep decided to go into the kitchen for a glass of milk. As she crept through the living room she stopped to look at Jess' sleeping form.

He had one leg our from under the blanket and his arm was tucked under his head. She noted that even in sleep he looked troubled, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Slowly she brushed one of his curls away from his eye before creeping back to bed.

As she lay staring up at the ceiling she thought about what had driven her here. Yes she had wanted to see what Jess life was like but she had also wanted to see him. However much she tried to hide it she still thought about him and wandered regularly what her life would be like if she had left with him all those years before.

With these thoughts rolling round inside her head Rory Gilmore rolled over and went back to sleep.

Half an hour later Jess got up and crept through the bedroom to reach the bathroom. As he walked past the bed he took a minute to stare at the girl he loved. Her hair had formed a fan around her face and both hands were gripping the comforter in an iron grip.

Sighing Jess picked up his notebook from the desk and retired to the kitchen. He knew he wasn't going to get that much sleep that night and he thought he might as well get some work done.

Closing the door he turned on the light before picking up a pen and beginning to write. Rory would have laughed had she know that he was writing a romance novel but he was. He had a lot of material to work from after all.

"So" Rachel said "what happens know?"

Jack ran a hand through his hair "I don't know" he said at last "but I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either" came the reply "but it's going to happen if we're not careful," she turned towards the door "I'll see you Jack."

As the door closed behind her Jack sank down into a chair and cried. She was gone.

Jess laid down his pen. He wasn't happy with how the story was going and knew that people would be in search of a happy ending. 'Well' Jess thought 'that doesn't always happen.'

Looking for inspiration he turned on the music and leaned back letting the music wash over him.

You cool your bed warm hands down
On the broken radiator
When you lay them freezing on me
I mumble can you wake me later
But I don't really want you to stop
And you know it so it doesn't stop you
You run your hands from my neck
To my chest

Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day
And just watch you as the rays
Tangle around your face and body
I could sit here for hours
Finding new ways to be awed each minute
'Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you

Its been minutes Its been days,
Its been all I will remember
Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow
Your hills and valleys
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers
And in a naked slumber
I dream all this again

As the song finished Jess sighed thoughts of Rory dancing around his mind. Pulling a pen over he fiddled with it trying to focus. Eventually he did what he always did when he need to get his thoughts in order. He wrote. He laughed as he began a list. It was something he had learned from Rory not that he would ever tell her. Sighing he began

Did he love Rory?

Yes.

Was he in love with Rory?

This took a bit more thought. Rory was something special he knew that and he knew that if it hadn't been for the thought of her urging him to do better he wouldn't be where he was. Eventually he sighed and scribbled down one word.

Yes.

Did he want to get back together with her?

Yes.

Did she want to get back together with him?

He sighed after all he had done in the past the answer was simple.

No.

Was he going to tell her how he felt about her?

Again the answer was simple.

No.

Sighing Jess put the cap back on his pen and stuffing the list under the coffee pot went back to the living room in an effort to catch up on sleep.

The next morning Rory snuck past a sleeping Jess to get to the kitchen. Once there she put on the coffee then looked round the room as it percolated.

Suddenly she spotted the corner of a piece of paper sticking out from the under the coffee machine. Pulling it out she stared at it.

For a few seconds she's shocked as she stares down at the familiar hand writing and the words that it forms. But then she realises that it's all the truth apart from one small thing. On top of that she finally realises what she should have realised all those years before.

Smiling she makes a small edition to the piece of paper before drinking her coffee and exiting the apartment.

Jess woke to the sound of the door slamming. Getting up and walking into the bedroom he realised that Rory had left. He wasn't sure why he was surprised. The chances of her still being there when he awoke had always been slim.

Walking into the kitchen he noticed that the list from the night before was sitting on the kitchen table. Picking it up he surveyed it critically and was just about to throw away when he noticed a familiar scribble at the bottom page.

Did she want to get back together with him?

Rory had crossed out the no and put something else in its place.

Yes.

Was he going to tell her how he felt about her?

Again Rory had made her own additions to the list.

You should do.

At the foot of the page was a small paragraph.

Jess.

I lied when I said I came to Philly to see what your life was like. I came to see you.

You've always been the what-if in my life Jess. The one I should have been with for the last few years. As you can see I found the list and I think I've made my feelings pretty clear.

I'll be at the bus station by the time you see this. My bus leaves at 11. If you want to give things another go I'll see you there.

Love

Rory.

He glanced at the clock. He had an hour to convince Rory to stay. Pulling on his shoes he folded the piece of paper up, shoved it in his pocket and ran out the door.

When he reached the bus station he had trouble finding her at first. Eventually he turned a corner and there she was, sitting on a bench a book held in her hand.

Jess pulled up short when he caught sight of the title. "Farewell to Arms" he said "you're reading Hemingway."

Rory looked up and laughed "well you know he only has nice things to say about me," she paused "why are you here Jess?"

"Don't you know?" he pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket and passed it to her.

"I want to hear you say it."

He scowled before collapsing next to her "stay" he said at last "stay with me."

"Why?"

He ran his hands through his hair "you know why."

She looked at him pleadingly "please Jess."

He sighed "I love you okay. I love you and I don't want to lose you again."

She smiled and reached up to kiss him "I love you too Jess. And you never will."

Then together they stood up and walked away towards the future.

Please Review. It helps me improve.