I love you and I'll miss you.
Kakashi would never thank his father. Never, an unwritten law in his own mind. He'd leave the house as silent as it was possible, it was not until he was gone did his parents notice he had left. When he returned he played hide and seek, hiding wherever he could fit.
His father was not a bad man, a few mistakes here and there. Nothing awful about him, just despised generally by the public. Kakashi hated the deadly glares he received on a daily basis, how everyone just seemed to hate him.
"Kakashi, I'm going to send you abroad to study."
Kakashi paused halfway through his book.
"Why?"
"You need it, you're just isolating yourself, you're gonna become carved of stone soon."
"That's my pride."
"You're taking a train there, taking a break from here. You're leaving next week."
"Not going." Kakashi picked up the pen and spun it between his fingers.
"You are and that is final."
------------------------------------------------
Kakashi's father had never been that amazing in his eyes, sometimes Kakashi considered his father as a 'bastard.' Not that he ever said that to his father's face, disrespect was despised everywhere. It was not until that day he was leaving Konoha for half a year to study abroad did he find out how connected he was to his village and surprisingly his father.
All Kakashi could see was his father's back from the train, he didn't look the most magnificent. Slightly rounded and his body sagged with the invisible weight he carried.
His father walked fast into the crowd, getting the oranges he had promised Kakashi the many years back when Kakashi could still be considered as a curious child, asking all the questions a child would ask…
---------------------------------------------------
"Daddy why is the sky blue?"
"God made it that way."
"Did God make my hair grey too?"
"Yes God did."
"Does God like everyone?"
"Yes God does."
"Did God create this table."
That was where Sakumo had not the slightest clue what to say.
----------------------------------------------
Kakashi himself could barely recall those times when he'd ask the question any toddler would. Instead now he kept himself to himself, thoughts were private.
Kakakshi turned his head and saw the his father's back growing smaller as he walked further away, the long grey ponytail catching the rays of fading light. He watched as the silhouette of his father picked the oranges promised years before, the promise already long forgotten by Kakashi. He watched as his father haggled the price to as low as he could get it. Kakashi thought he could just hear his father's rough voice, coaxing for a lower price. When his father came back holding the oranges in a pink marketing plastic bag, the train conductor was already yelling for all to get aboard.
"Here Kashi. I hope they're sweet, take care."
Kakashi nodded, taking the plastic bag holding seven oranges, all that his father could afford with the low income he had. He held them to his body placing onto his lap, watching his father's lips move. Wishing him luck in his studies, telling him how he'd plan a party for him when he came back with top grades.
Kakashi watched his father try to smile through the sea of tears that was building in his eyes. He stared at his father give him a few coins hoping that he'd spend it wisely, a small gift.
The train gave a puff and began to leave the platform; his father waved smiling through the tears.
Kakashi stuck to his unwritten law and refused the words 'I love you, I'll miss you.' To come from his mouth but his mind was screaming it until it echoed internally.
--------------------------------------------
Kakashi ate the oranges slowly treasuring the sweetness of it; the coins in his pocket reminded him of how his father had worked extra shifts just to be able to send him abroad to study.
---------------------------------------------
He throat grew dry and his heart thumped painfully against his ribcage when he came back after half a year. Hoping to see the same smiling father that had seen him off just over half a year ago. He came back holding his certificate high hoping for the smile of happiness and pride on his father's face, but he saw none. His father passed away two days before his arrival…
---------------------------------------
Whenever he sees his father's grave he can do nothing other than mutter the words he wished he said the last time he saw his father.
"Daddy, I love you and I miss you a lot. Wait for me okay?"
He said it as if it was a prayer, hoping that his father would hear him wherever he was.
Kakashi never spent the few coins his father had given him, till this day they jangle in his pocket wherever he goes.