Scene opens with Kaede walking up to the front door of a house. She rings the doorbell and waits with a smile. She is holding a few books under arm. The door opens and Nagisa opens the door.

"Hi!" Kaede gleefully says.

"Hey," Nagisa nervously responds. "Thanks for coming."

"First time having a girl over?" Kaede slyly asks, stepping inside and nudging Nagisa playfully.

"No, I've had girls over before. Rio has been over a few times." Nagisa says, closing the front door and heading up the stairs.

"Nice! I always knew you were a stud muffin."

"Ehh, thanks, but I don't think that's how I'd put it."

"How about 'beef cake'?"

"Uh, I don't think you under-oh, never mind."

Once they reach Nagisa's room, he nervously opens the door.

"Well, here's my room. My inner sanctum of peace where no other boy has ever been."

"Now that you mention it, how come your mom only lets girls come over? Seems kinda backwards to me."

"Ehh, long story. I'll explain later," Nagisa nervously answers. "The reason I called you here is because I...I found out something..."

"Oh? What?" Kaede eagerly asks. "Did you have a wet dream? It's ok, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I hear it's very normal for boys your age."

"No, it's not...really? It's normal? Wait, nevermind! This is serious!"

"Oh, sorry."

"So, I was doing some reconnaissance work on Korosensei a couple days ago after class and I found him talking to Tadaomi Karasuma."

"What were they talking about?"

Nagisa pauses to swallow.

"...you sure you wanna know?"

"Well, was it something top secret? Is Korosensei bribing Karasuma somehow?"

"No. He...he's teaching him tips on dating Professor Bitch."

Kaede's jaw drops.

"What?!"

"Yep," Nagisa sighs. "And it's not just simple pointers. It's creepy how accurate and specific he gets."

"What kinds of things did he say?"

"Well..."

FLASHBACK: EARLIER THAT WEEK

Nagisa is sitting on the floor. He removes a tiny notebook and pen from his pocket, positioning his ear for the perfect angle to eavesdrop on the classroom.

"I fail to see how this is a good idea," Karasuma says.

"Karasuma?" Nagisa thinks to himself. "What's he doing in there?"

"Now, now, Mr. Karasuma," Korosensei replies, "You are the one who said you needed help in the dating scene."

"Dating? Weird." Nagisa thinks, writing down some notes.

"I know, but this isn't what I had in mind when I asked for help. I was thinking something more along thing lines of how to woo a woman. Not 'Six Tips On How To Know If She's Ovulating'."

"Those were very important notes! How else will you know when the time is right for you to strike?"

"Ugh, you make me sick. This whole idea was stupid. I'm leaving."

"No, no, no! Don't go! Don't you want to impress Irina? Show her a good time?"

"Irina...Irina...Professor Bitch!" Nagisa gasps, immediately covering his mouth, realizing he made a noise.

"Did you hear something? Sounds like it came from the hallway," Karasuma asks.

"Probably just the roof settling. Shall we get started?"

"Alright. Might as well get this over with."

"Wonderful! Since we covered her likes and dislikes yesterday, let's move on to her various erogenous zones."

"Ok."

"Let's begin with the legs! Her left leg is the preferred leg to go for, be it massaging, licking, or whatever the moment may call for! However, avoid the kneecap on the right leg at all costs."

"Why?"

"It's ticklish. Possibly the most sensitive part of her entire body."

"Wait, really?"

"Oh, yes."

"Even more sensitive than her cl-"

"Yep."

"...huh..."

Karasuma furiously writes some notes down on a pad of paper.

"Now, while the breasts appear floppy and soft, they are, in fact, quite firm."

"So how do you explain their floppy appearance?"

"Push-up bra."

"What about when she wears skimpy outfits?"

"Duct tape."

"Wouldn't that be painful?"

"The feeling is no different from when you wax your testicles."

"I see-wait how do you know I do that?!"

"Sometimes adults need special care..."

"Mmm..." Karasuma grumbles. "What else do I need to know?"

"Well, what else do you want to know?"

"Favorite brands?"

"Ahh, thinking of getting her a gift?"

"Maybe..." Karasuma blushes.

"Well, if you are going for something sexy, Victoria's Secret. If you need something for all-around, everyday, Prada. If you want formal, Coach. If you want casual, Lee's."

"Anything that she likes to see me in?"

"Nothing."

"You mean she doesn't care what I wear?"

"No, I mean she wants to see you naked."

"What?! You're insane!"

"Oh, fine! She's expressed interest in how manly you look in a tailored suit. However, she has mentioned numerous times how sexy you'd be in a pair of khaki shorts and Hawaiian shirt."

"...really?"

"I kid you not, good sir. She stated it would accentuate your bulge and show off your arms."

"How do you know all this?"

"Her diary."

"OH MY GOD! YOU STOLE HER DIARY?"

"Not at all! I would never do such a horrid thing like invade the privacy of a fellow teacher / assassin for personal gain."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAY-"

"I do however know that she publishes journal entries on a website under the pseudonym 'WhiteAngelOfDeath'."

"How'd you find that out?"

"She uses the same name on her Twitter."

"Understood."

"Well, I suppose that's enough for this week. Let me know how your date goes. I can custom-tailor these lessons to questions or notes you bring back."

"Listen...thanks for these..."

"Anytime, my friend! I realize that you are one of the most confident men around. Certainly, the most confident I've ever met. However, I realize that confidence comes at a cost. You've isolated yourself from everyone. Friends, family, colleagues. Your interaction with me and this class has possibly opened you up more than ever before. Possibly you may learn something about yourself before it's all done."

Karasuma looks at Korosensei, closing his notebook and standing up from the desk.

"How are you able to read people who you know so little about?"

"We are all human beings. Some of us just come in different shapes and colors."

Karasuma smiles and heads towards the door. He opens it and heads into the hallway, walking in the opposite direction of Nagisa, who is sitting on the floor in the hallway.

"I can't stop you from sharing what you've heard," Korosensei says to Nagisa. "But know this...we are all fractured people. No one of us is a perfect. Look closely at the brushstrokes...you'll find the imperfections in any work of art."

CUT BACK TO NAGISA'S ROOM

"And then he just left me there in the hallway. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded."

"So what did you end up doing?"

"I just left. What else could I do? I felt so bad for the guy. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar I am. I shut people out, I isolate myself, I-"

Before Nagisa could finish his thought, Kaede goes over and kisses him on the cheek. Nagisa blushes and presses his hand to his face.

"W-what was that for?"

"My woman's intuition figured it was just what you needed," she winks as she gets up to leave the bedroom.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Oh, please, there is no way I'd tell anyone. This is our little secret," she winks as she lifts her skirt, showing off the pink-stripped panties around her rear end. Nagisa blushes and looks away. Kaede closes the door behind her and heads outside, prompting Nagisa to look out his window at her skipping into the sunset.

"Maybe you're right, Kayano," Nagisa smiles. "Maybe you are just what I needed."

-THE END-