TwiFic Wonkyward Contest
Title: The Crush
Pen name:
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Summary: Awkward Edward has 9 months to make his move on perfect Bella. Can he overcome his own social drama and make the moves on the girl of his dreams before time runs out?
Word Count: 9784
I'm Edward Cullen, and I'm an idiot.
I have a crush. Not just any crush, but a crush of incredible magnitude.
Bella Swan. She's my crush, has been for ten years now.
Oh, no, I couldn't just have a crush on Angela 'Bookworm' Webber, Tanya 'Tell me lies to get in my pants' Denali or Jessica 'Do anybody' Stanley. Nope. I had to have a crush on Bella 'Too beautiful for words' Swan.
The problem? First it was braces, then glasses, and finally, it was acne. Now it's just me.
Wellll, let's just say clumsy and awkward don't win over beautiful and graceful.
Ever.
I've been in school with Bella since 2nd grade when my family moved to Forks. I still recall sitting next to her in Mrs. Henderson's class that first day, her glancing at me sideways as I fluttered around trying to get settled in. I was a mess then, just like I am now.
I've had a crush on her since that very moment in second grade when she gave me the side eye that turned into a stink eye. Apparently she didn't enjoy Elmer's Glue on her dress, or pencil shavings on her side of the desk, or marker on her sleeve. I spilled, smattered and smeared shit everywhere. Her dramatic sigh and irritated, "EDWARD!" proved just that.
Bella Swan is the best person I know. She is kind, sweet, funny and sexy. She hangs out with the popular kids, but never makes you feel like she's above you. She's approachable, always smiling and has a nice disposition. She treats everyone the same. Her popularity is a problem for me, it's as if she has this shield around her, making me crazy and irrationally stupid.
She just makes me so nervous. All that supreme beauty wrapped up in a sweet, petite package. It's like when I'm around her, I forget how to perform basic functions. You know, like, walk- talk- or think.
I'm starting to fear I may die a virgin. I've never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never done anything but dream about Bella.
We're seniors and about to begin our last year at Forks High. I've decided that since I'm only going to be in school for nine more months, I need to try and change her opinion of me and at the very least, get her to notice me before I go off to college in August of next year. I've got two weeks until classes start here in Forks.
Plenty of time to get my ideas together and put my plan in motion. Right?
Operation: Get Bella Swan to notice me and maybe, just maybe, date her.
Or at the very least, don't make things worse.
September:
Well, this month went out with a dull roar. And I mean a roar. Or do I mean dull?
I was walking to my locker with my one friend, Jasper Whitlock. To say he's my one friend sounds as though I'm making it up. I assure you, I'm not. He's in the car club. Get it now? He's the only one who doesn't care what I look or act like. We stuck together since we're a lot alike in most ways.
I told him about my plan. He wasn't the least bit supportive either.
"YOU WHAT?", Jasper blurted loudly, eyes bulging out of his head.
This was after I told him I planned on making it my mission to get Bella Swan to notice me. And not in the "Oh my God, this guy is such a douchewaffle" kind of way.
"Ed, my man," Jasper drawled, "Ain't no way, no how, Bella Swan and her band of sexy sistas gonna ever notice your ass. Unless a'course you fall on your ass or get shoved in a trash can again."
Did I mention that Jasper wants to be the white Kanye? Yeah, he does.
"Well why not? I mean, I've got a lot to offer someone like her, and, I've known her forever. At the very least we should be friends," I answered passionately, waving my hands around wildly after I pushed my wire rimmed glasses up my nose.
"Dude, really? Are ya for reals here? Your current 'friendship' with Bella is as close as you're ever gonna get," he said, stopping to face me, his head tilted sideways. His face held a comical curiosity, like when your dog looks at you when you ask if it wants a treat.
"I'm totally serious, Jaz. I mean, I've had this thing for her for so long now and I leave in August for college. I don't want my life to be one big 'what if?', ya know?"
"If I don't try, I think I'll be filled with regret and wonder what might've have happened."
"Well, my man, I wish ya da best, ya gonna need all da help you can get. If you wanna know what might'a happened, lemme know, I got the word for ya, man!" he said, chuckling to himself as he walked away shaking his head, his pants hanging past his ass crack with a dirty motocross t-shirt adorning his upper half.
That was when I turned around and smashed right into the object of my desire.
Did I mention the fact I was carrying a container of motor oil for car club? Did I also mention that said oil dropped on the floor, just the right way and shattered? Yeah, it did. Not only that, but, it managed to get all over one, Ms. Bella Swan.
I also, may or may not have gotten a boner when I saw her boobs as she bent over to check the damage. At least I could carry that memory with me. Right?
October:
I had Bella in my Current Events class. We were discussing school bans all over the USA. Some were weird and some weren't. Mrs. Chandler let us debate them and talk about why we thought they worked or didn't.
Who could've known Bella was a debater? I honestly felt like my argument for allowing yoga pants to be worn to school would be a very popular one.
"Edward, yoga pants are not acceptable clothing for school. They're not sweats, they're not pants. They're glorified pajamas" she argued.
Damn, passion looked so fucking good on her. Mmmm, her cheeks were rosy, her breaths were coming out staccato and her eyes were lit up like the brightest star.
I wanted to see her in a pair of yoga pants. Bent over… doing yoga… bending... twisting...yeah.
"I've always felt people should be comfortable in a learning environment, Bella," I said smoothly while I spun my pencil around my fingers in what I liked to call my, 'sexy finger maneuvers'. I was so proud that I kept eye contact and gave a small smile while I was casually slouched down in my chair. I was pretty sure I looked confident and in control.
I just knew those yoga pants fit her like a glove and she looked hot.
"Ugh! Why is your face all twitchy? Are you messing with me, Edward Cullen?" she said fiercely, her hands on her hips, giving me that weird side eye thing as her eyes caught the motion of the pencil.
I panicked. I totally panicked. She could tell I was picturing her in those fucking yoga pants!
Abort mission, abort!
"Um, yeah, I'm messing with you. Sorry," I said quickly, as I looked down at the desk, dropping the pencil like a hot poker and sitting up straighter in my chair.
I heard Rose and Alice snicker behind me.
Great, October was a bust too.
November:
I got some hope, some real hope. It sustained me, it kept my faith in my goal alive.
We were in English class. Everyone was being lazy because Thanksgiving break was coming up. Even Mr. Olsen was being laid back.
Everyone was shooting the shit. Someone started telling jokes. I should've left it up to them.
But noooooo, I just had to chime in.
"You know what one turkey said to the other don't you?" I said bravely, after clearing my throat a bit first. I hardly ever spoke in this class, but for Bella, I'd do it.
"Is that your pop up timer or you just happy to see me?" I finished lamely.
Everyone groaned, except Bella. She looked at me and for the first time in my life, she actually smiled. It was small, but fuck, I'd take it.
Then, IT happened. Thanksgiving day, turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes and stuffing. Oh, and my cousin, Emmett came over for dinner. Or as he likes to call himself, my "Savior".
Emmett was one of the self professed, "cool" people, at his school in Port Angeles. A jock, a ladies' man, a joker and an all around badass.
He thought I was nothing. Barely a blip on his radar. Until this year for some reason.
"Aunt Esme," he started during dinner, "Are you ever going to let poor Ed get some contacts? And what about a haircut and some new clothes too?" he questioned, his voice strangely sympathetic.
I looked over at him, my face awash with confusion. What exactly was wrong with my glasses, clothes and hair?
"I mean, come on, he's got to get laid sometime in his life. Give the poor guy some help," he snickered.
My face flamed in shame and embarrassment.
My parents both lifted their chins off the table as my Aunt and Uncle both admonished Emmett for his unkind comments. But, really, were they unkind?
He didn't say another word about it, until later when he got me alone.
"Ed, you need to seriously think about what I said at dinner," he asserted.
"You need a style makeover and I think I'm just the one to school you on it, too."
"What did you have in mind?" I asked cautiously, all the while staring at him like maybe he was my savior.
"Well first off, get rid of the Costco jeans, you look like a tool," he ordered while rubbing his hands together forcefully.
"You need to get some jeans your mom didn't buy and my God, what the fuck kind of shirts do you have? You need some new shit, man," he continued, the look of disgust on his face making me feel horrible as he rifled through my closet full of what he deemed to be, shitty clothes.
"Well, how am I supposed to buy new clothes. I live in Forks, for fuck's sake. Newton's only has Wranglers or that weird off brand that look like the acid wash kind that rocked in the 80's!" I said hotly, defending my poor choices and my poor choices.
"Dude, here's what we're gonna do. Tomorrow is black Friday. We'll ask to go with the moms and hit some stores for you," he blurted. "I can help you, I've got mad skills, you only need me to give you a shove in the right direction," he continued, excitedly.
So that was what we did. We shopped. God help me, we shopped. And, I got a haircut, two new pair of jeans, a couple flannel shirts, some graphic tees and my God, I looked totally different. Emmett said the only thing I could keep were my Converse. He said I "rocked" the Chucks. He also sadly informed me that the glasses were troubling and that I needed to work on my parents to get contacts. I don't know… I liked my glasses. Did I mention I hate shopping?
Waking up the Monday after the holiday for school, I was a bit nervous. Emmett had left me a list of what to do and how to do it.
1. Jack off- in the shower… in a sock… whatever. *really? like he had to tell me that?*
2. SHOWER- WITH SOAP! *this was in all capitals since I mistakenly informed him that I only showered every few days, which also led to him getting me to buy some cologne.*
3. Put the gel in the hair. *this was difficult as well, I apparently have "zero skills" with hair, according to Emmett.*
4. DEODORANT: *See shower*
5. Clothes. Shirt un-tucked, flannel over the top, easy on the cologne. Set.
6. BRUSH YOUR TEETH *some overshare on his part led to the most disgusting conversation I've ever heard about hairs in teeth and ewww.*
7. Start the day and become a chick magnet like your awesome cuz.
I parked in the school parking lot. I was hoping I didn't put too much cologne on, my car reeked of the stuff. Then I started to worry about smelling too strong and seeing Bella. And what would she think? Or what would she say? Or would she say anything? Then I started panicking again. I sat in my car trying to calm down as I watched everyone go inside the building.
Giving myself one quick look in the rear-view mirror, I could see that my hair looked ridiculous all gelled down. I ran my fingers through it again and then it just looked messy. Shit, Emmett was gonna kill me. Sighing,I figured it was as good as it was going to get and hopped out of the car.
Walking into the student center, headed to first period, I nervously kept my head down. I heard someone ask who the new kid was. I looked over my shoulder but I didn't see anyone. Huh. Maybe I had a class with them or something.
I went straight to my locker, looking up to see Jaz standing there watching me with the weirdest look of abject horror on his face.
As I reached him, he closed his mouth and burst out, "Dude, what the hell? Where'd you get all the threads? They have a sale at Preppy's are US, or what!"
"Jasper, shut the fuck up," I muttered, noticing people starting to stare at us.
"I went shopping and got a haircut, no big deal, now shut up," I hissed, looking around nervously.
"Oh, sorry man, it's just kinda shocking. You look 'aight I guess, " he observed with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Ooooh, don't look now, but here comes your Operation BS crew," he whispered, turning his head and giving Alice Brandon a head bob as she looked down her nose at us while walking by.
Rose turned and gaped at me, Alice giggled and Bella just outright stared. Her delicious mouth forming an "O".
Was that a good or bad thing?
I was about to find out.
Walking into English and sitting in my seat, I glanced up at the doorway just as Bella walked inside. She was looking right at me. I got all weird and started to look down when I noticed her smile, it was directed straight at me!
God damn. Emmett was right!
December:
November and December were technically really just one month, if you figure the vacation days for fall conferences, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Unfortunately, that meant less time for my mission and a lot more pressure to move at a faster pace.
I only had two things that made this month even remotely worthwhile.
1. Bella complimented one of the t-shirts I had on the day before Christmas break.
and
2. We had an actual conversation AND she wished me a very merry Christmas.
That small interaction made my dick so hard, I couldn't get out of my seat for like 5 minutes after she left.
See, when she did it, she licked her lips first and she had this amazing fuzzy red sweater on. It was tight and low cut and her tits were popping out the top and I may or may not have been slightly overwhelmed by them.
It all started with the potluck Mr. Banner said we could have in Science. It was almost the final class of the day, one of the three I happened to share with Bella. We were all enjoying cookies and shit, just bullshitting and sitting around waiting for the two-ten bell.
Jasper and I were talking about music, our usual, unless it was cars. We were going back and forth about Beyonce. I hate her, hate her husband too. Jasper thinks the sun rises and sets out of Jay Z's ass. We got to arguing about it, like we usually do. Give me The Foo Fighters, Nirvana or old Pearl Jam any damn day. But, like I said earlier, Jasper thinks he's the white Kanye.
"Fuck off man, ya know my man, Jay Z, is da shit. He knows good music, he's got an ear," Jasper boasted.
"Jaz, he's a thug, a criminal. Plus, rap is crap. I like the classics. You cannot beat, Pearl Jam's song, Black," I spouted back.
All of the sudden, I heard a small chuckle. I looked over to my right to see Bella and Alice watching Jasper and I debate the finer points of good music. Or bad, depending on who you asked. Their eyes twinkled, as they seemingly enjoyed our banter.
I sat up a little straighter in my chair and gave them a small smile.
Jasper, being Jasper, looked over and decided to include them in our conversation.
"Ladies, please help me here. It seems Ed is a bit confused, perhaps dropped on the head as a small child, who knows?" he drawled, his voice laden with sarcasm. "Please tell him, Jay Z's da shit."
With a giggle and a nod of her head, Alice bubbled, "Sorry, Edward, I agree with Jasper. Bey is my girl and she and Jay Z are amaaaaaazing!"
No. Just no.
I looked at Bella for help. The first time in ten years I'd held eye contact with her intentionally.
I could feel my heart trying to burst out of my chest, those lips, she was licking her lips before she spoke. And like I said, that shirt, those tits. Jesus.
"Well, Edward, I think I agree with you. Black is a classic and you can't beat Vedder," she smiled.
I looked at Jasper and quirked my eyebrow.
"It appears we have a tie, Jasp-ye" I snarked.
Alice and Bella burst into hysterics, laughing so hard they were doubled over.
(Thank you, God, for the boob shot.)
Unfortunately, the bell rang and the moment was broken.
I looked up at Bella who was smiling at me shyly.
"I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Edward," she breathed, her voice soft and her smile warm.
Clearing my throat, I managed to squeak out, "You too."
She and Alice walked out, giggling together, Alice looking over her shoulder at us as they left.
"Dude. Holy fucking shit, ya actually held a conversation with Ms. B," Jasper uttered, looking as shocked as I felt.
I looked at him, my eyes wide, swallowed audibly and whispered, "I did."
"Fuck, man, ya might just meet your goal of hooking up wit her. Unbelievable!" he mused, shaking his head and getting out of his chair.
"First though, you might wanna stop gettin' wood whenever she's around."
Turning, he walked away, his head thrown back, laughing his ass off at my very obvious predicament.
January:
It was pretty uneventful after the return from the holidays. I did get to see Bella every day, which was nice, but, my excitement from the Christmas sweater 'hello' wore off quickly when she didn't give me as much attention as my overactive imagination told me she should.
Until...about two weeks into January, when the weather forecast showed heavy snow storms coming our way. There was nothing better than a massive snowstorm to cancel school. Only problem with that; I didn't get to see the object of my desire until the snow melted.
So two days later as predicted, the snow started to fall, blanketing all of the Pacific Northwest in about five inches of beautiful white powder .
The day after the snowstorm, I got a call from Jasper.
"Hey man, what's up?" he drawled.
I bit back sarcastically, "What do you think is up? It snowed, there's nothing going on."
"Well, dude, listen up, everybody's meeting at Black's field to have a massive snowball fight. We're so there. So get your emo ass off the computer and get ready to go." he announced.
I was liberated! If I was lucky, I'd get to see Bella!
I changed my clothes and got into my snow appropriate attire. Meaning- jeans, thermal shirt, a beanie, gloves and my jacket. I met up with Jasper on the corner.
Together we walked silently down the street after giving each other a fist bump. I noticed a bunch of kids ahead of us, everybody was headed same direction for a whole lot of fun.
As I was on walking to the field I couldn't help but hear a melodic laugh; Bella was here. Damn, this was going to be epic!
We all met up in the center of the field. Jacob ASSHAT Black was apparently in charge. His field, his rules. Fucking rich asshole. Too bad he was such a douche-pickle.
"Alright everybody, listen up! We're going to split into two teams and we're going to play 'kill with a snowball'. If you're lucky enough to be on the winning team, you get to carry that honor with you for the rest of your life." he said, puffing his chest out, like the conceited fucker he was.
"So here's how it's going to go down; I'm going to pick the teams- if you don't like that, then get the hell out of my field."
Jasper and I looked at each other giving a little shake of our heads, fuck, this guy was such a tool.
I could see him looking at Bella out of the corner of his eye. She, Rose and a giddy Alice were standing a few feet away from Jasper and I. Alice was bouncing up and down with excitement. That girl fucking loves snow. All our lives she's been this way. It's hysterical to watch.
Bella was smiling at her sweetly. I happened to catch Bella's eye and gave her a small smile.
She grinned at me while Rose elbowed her in the ribs, whispering in her ear. I could only imagine what was being said.
Bella nodded and then looked away shyly just as that fuckbutt, Jacob, decided to lay out the teams.
"I'm the captain of this team and Seth is the captain of the other," he said snidely.
"Bella, Rose, Alice, Liam, Paul, Sam and Leah, you're on my team. Ed, Jacksper (He always said Jasper name like that. See? A fuckbutt.), Garrett, Mike, Jess, Victoria and Jimmy, you're on Seth's team," he bossed.
I groaned internally. Fuck, Garrett was the biggest pussy in town. We always got stuck with him.
As we split up I saw Bella giving me a look again. I smiled, because what else can you do when a pretty girl looks at you?
Seth gathered us around in a circle, laying out the plan of attack. As he started to speak, Jacob told us the rules, interrupting like only he can.
"Dudes, listen closely. You get hit with a snowball, you go down. On the ground. Do not move. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars," he smirked and laughed.
Jesus, he thinks he's so damn funny.
He continued, forcefully, "Last man standing means that team wins."
I watched Rose as she glared at him before saying sarcastically, "I ain't no man and when I win -and I will win- you can kiss my ass for that statement, Jake."
Everyone laughed thinking she was never gonna get that wish. Jacob and Seth Black were jocks extraordinaire. They were naturally spectacular at every damn thing they did.
Rose, win? Hahaha, never gonna happen.
Seth returned to our strategy after the laughing died down. A pretty simple strategy, I might add. Stay low, don't get hit and lob those snowballs as fast as you can make them.
We picked Garrett to make as many snowballs as his pansy ass could. He immediately started going to work before Jake started the fight.
I looked at Jasper, rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath, "Fuck. We are so dead."
He just nodded. He and I both knew that there was no way in hell Seth would let us beat his brother's team. Nope. He had to live with the guy and no way did he want to get a beat-down when he went home victorious. Nope, we were losers. All because Jacob Black, athlete extraordinaire, had short man's complex. If he didn't win, nobody wins.
A few minutes after Garrett and a bunch of others got snowballs going, Jake called the battle to begin.
"Get ready to get snowballllllled," he screamed.
I had a moment to pick up a few of the freezing globs of snow before all out war began.
It was fast, let me tell ya. People were down left and right. I looked over in time to see Jasper get hit. I looked up to see an evil smile gracing Rose's face as she took aim at me.
Damn, did I say she wasn't gonna win?
I dove to the right, narrowly escaping her shot. I started throwing snowballs as fast as I could as I crouched behind a shrub in the field.
Suddenly, I felt a smack to the back of my head. Turning around, I looked to see who had gotten past my defenses. Bella smiled coyly at me.
"Sorry, Edward. It's you or me, and honestly, I'm just helping Rose prove a point to Jake." she said nicely, shrugging her shoulders.
"It's okay, Bella, I get it." I said as I lay flat on the ground.
Suddenly, Bella got hit with a snowball to the chest. I could hear Jimmy victoriously whooping at the fact he got someone down from the other team.
She dropped to the ground next to me and we waited for the game to be over.
"How was your Christmas," I asked nervously. I mean, I couldn't very well be laying next to her on the ground and not say anything, right?
"It was good, I hope yours was nice?" she said demurely.
Did I really have the opportunity to make small talk with the object of my desire? Damn, this was the greatest day ever!
"Yeah, it was pretty cool. Kind of mellow, but that's okay." I answered, swallowing nervously in the middle of the sentence.
"I've wanted to tell you how much I liked your new haircut," she murmured, looking down at her hands.
Wait. Was she nervous around me too?
"Thanks, I guess it was time, huh? I really like the fact that I don't have to use as much shampoo with it shorter," I replied seriously.
Fuck. I did not just say that. My face turned a lovely purple shade, thank God it was starting to get dark, maybe if I was lucky she wouldn't notice my embarrassment. I wondered if I face planted in the snow right now, if she'd just ignore me?
Not likely.
Giggling, she answered, "Yeah, it must be such a convenience."
I looked at her and we both started to laugh.
"Geez, Edward, we've known each other forever and you'd think we just met. Always so serious, aren't you?" she remarked.
Clearing my throat, I took a moment to think about how I wanted to answer.
"I know it seems like it, but, I only seem to get this way around you." I divulged.
Her eyebrow shot up in surprise, her mouth opened to speak, when suddenly a great whoop was heard in the field taking our attention from each other away.
Rose and Jacob were standing face to face, having annihilated the rest of the competition, in the middle of the field trying to determine the victor.
"Great work, Rose! You got second place, in true form, I win!" Jacob hollered.
With a tilt of her head and in a whisper, Rose replied, "I don't do second place."
And with that, she lobbed a final snowball in Jacob's face.
"Game over, Jake, I win," she squealed, jumping up and down.
The shock on Jake's face was priceless. I looked over to Bella and her face was alight with pride for her friend.
She gave me a big smile and stood up clapping for Rose. Pretty soon we were all clapping for Rose.
"What the fuck, Rose?! We're on the same team," Jacob whined.
"Well, maybe we were, but there can only be one winner, and it was me." she snarked back.
"Hasn't anyone ever told you not to underestimate your opponents, Jake?" she added with a laugh, flipping her hair over one shoulder and walking away.
Jake was like a volcano, his face was red, he was so pissed he looked like he could burst.
"Seth, come on, we need to get home," he fumed, as he grabbed Seth by the jacket and tugged him toward home.
Everyone started to split up and leave, bitching about how fucked up Jake was, as I realized I hadn't seen Jasper.
Looking all around, I spotted him coming out from behind a tree, wiping snow off his ass. And who might be coming out behind him, cheeks flushed, lips red? Alice.
Jesus Christ, tell me no.
Rose and Bella stood there, their mouths hanging open as Jasper and Alice walked toward us, hand in hand.
"Jasper, what the fuck?" I whispered, as he came closer.
"See ya later, Ali-baba. I'll catch you on the phone around nine, babes" he said, lifting an eyebrow and giving her the Jasper smirk.
Whimpering, Alice answered, "Sounds good, Jazzy," giving him a small peck on the cheek before turning toward a shocked Rose and Bella.
Rose, Bella and I all stared at each other in wonder as Jaz and Alice parted hands, with Rose finally muttering, "It's about damn time," and they started walking away together toward their homes.
Bella looked over her shoulder, giving me a small wave as she was walking away.
It sustained me until Jasper announced in my ear deviously, "Ali's fucking hot and apparently she likes bad boys like me. I got a thang for her too. Those stuck ups are da best at being little sinners."
Looking at him in wonder, he started laughing and told me to 'man up', he had some info for me I was gonna love.
It came to his attention, that my, Bella, might or might not, have a small crush on me as well.
February:
Yeah, February. I fucking hate February. Valentine's Day. The worst day ever. Ask any guy and he'll agree.
You'd think I'd have been stoked since knowing Bella may or may not have a crush on me too. I seriously doubted it though.
Ever since the snowball fight, she'd been acting weird around me. I mean, I guess it didn't help when I knocked over a bottle of Coke at our lunch table and then when I got up to get something to clean it up with, I managed to fucking slip and fall on my ass in the middle of the lunchroom.
In my humiliation I couldn't help but notice her pitying glance as she hurried out of the building.
She didn't show up to class that afternoon. Hell, I didn't see her at all; I was pissed the rest of the day.
Now, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. They're selling sing-o-grams. For five bucks you can get someone to go into a class and sing the song of your choice to someone you've chosen.
Jasper was sending one to Alice. Yeah, they've been hanging out more and more in the last two weeks. I hate to admit it, but she's perfect for him.
I was a chicken shit, plain and simple. I didn't have the balls to send a singing Valentine to Bella.
Jasper told me I was a fucking pussy and I had to agree.
On Valentine's morning, I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror.
What the fuck, man? You're gonna need to man up if you've got a snowball's chance in Hell of reaching your goal with Bella.
Standing there, trying to motivate myself to do something...anything...I realized that my complacency with my life was going to screw me over.
I tried to tell myself I could change it, in charge of my own destiny and all that shit.
Yeah, right.
After gelling my hair, grabbing my glasses and putting my new Rolling Stones t-shirt on, I headed down to my piece of shit car to go to Jasper's house and give him a ride to school.
As I passed Newton's Outfitters-Thriftway store I couldn't help but wonder if I should stop and buy something for Bella. You know, make some kind of effort?
But, no sooner did I think it, I was throwing the idea out the window. Just the concept of that mortifying embarrassment had my ball sack disappearing inside my body.
Jasper was right. I was a pussy.
After I picked him up and listened to him drone on and on about Alice, I was relieved as hell to get to school.
As I approached my locker, I saw something sticking out of the top vents.
A rose.
The fuck?
Pulling it out, I glanced around, sort of embarrassed by the fact there was a flower in my locker.
There was no note. Nothing to indicate who it might be from.
Glancing around again nervously, I wondered who could've put it there. I didn't notice anyone looking at me. Rose, Bella and Alice were headed my way, but they came from the opposite direction so I knew my fantasy wasn't coming true. It wasn't from Bella.
Making nervous eye contact, I smiled meekly at her. She looked gorgeous. But, wait, when doesn't she?
"Hi, Edward, happy Valentine's day," Bella said gently, while looking at the rose in my hand.
Her face was awash with a soft blush.
"Same to you, Bella," I stammered.
This rose had me confuzzled as fuck.
Turning quickly to hide my embarrassment at being such a dumbass, I opened my locker and took a deep breath, telling myself to calm my tits.
I turned around to see if I could initiate conversation with her, only to find that they were gone.
All but Alice anyway.
"Hey, Ed, where'd you get the flower?" She tinkled. Yes, her voice tinkled.
I got all flustered, running my hands through my hair, thereby ruining whatever small semblance of style I had in it
"Uh, yeah, I uh, yeah, the rose was stuffed in my locker when I got here. I don't know who it's from," I offered lamely, shrugging my shoulders.
"Reaaaaaally, no note? Hmmmm. Looks like you've got yourself a secret admirer, now don't cha?" She sing-songed, a big shit eating grin in her face.
I had no idea how to reply, my face was flaming since she said it loud enough for the world to hear.
I stared at her a few seconds before I scurried away like the chicken-shit pussy that I am.
After lunch, in my shared class with Bella, a bunch of people started getting their singing valentines.
Alice was thrilled to receive hers from Jasper. I just shook my head. Only Jasper would choose Crazy in Love, a stupid Beyonce-JayZ song, for her.
The poor girl who had to sing it sucked. I gave her credit though, she tried. And failed. Alice freaking loved it though.
Mr. Banner called the class to order after the 5th person finally got their song. I bet the teachers were hating life for all the idiotic interruptions.
Suddenly the door flew open and a girl named Annie walked to his desk and asked if Edward Cullen was here.
To say my face was red, is an understatement of epic proportions.
Banner rolled his eyes and called my name drolly.
"Cullen, it seems you have an admirer."
Fuuuuuck.
Then he looked at Annie, who was ready to sing to me, and replied again, drolly, "Give it your best, but hurry up, I need to teach my class."
Clearing her throat, she started singing.
"I threw a wish in the well,
Don't ask me, I'll never tell
I looked to you as it fell,
And now you're in my way…."
Oh my fucking God, it is NOT, Call Me Maybe?
"I'd trade my soul for a wish,
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn't looking for this,
But now you're in my way…" she continued, as my jaw stayed dropped on the desk and the look of horror on my face continued to get worse as she progressed.
"Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!"
Oh my God.
Call Me Maybe?
What the ever-lovin' fuck?
I'm not sure my face could get any redder and everyone was staring at me as she finished singing.
Earth, swallow me now.
I dared a look at Bella, she was grinning so big.
Oh great, she's enjoying my suffering!
When Annie finished the song, people clapped and she turned to go out the door.
As it shut behind her and Banner resumed class as if nothing had ever happened, I realized Annie never gave me the note that went with the song to tell me who it was from.
Shit.
Standing quickly I asked if I could use the restroom, without waiting for a reply, I scooted out the door asap.
I saw Annie turn the corner at the end of the hall and gave a light shout. She stopped quickly and waited for me to catch up.
"Hey, Ed, what's up?" she asked quizzically.
"Hey, Annie, I was wondering, who the Valentine was from? You never gave me the card," I panted, out of breath from chasing her down the hall and the lack of oxygen from holding my breath in class.
"That's because there was no card. It was anonymous," she shrugged and smiled.
My face was aghast.
"Seriously? I urged, "Are you sure?".
"Yep. It was last minute too. That's why I was late getting to Mr. Banner's class," she continued.
"So no clue who sent it huh?"
"Nope. No clue. We had a paper filled out and attached to the choir door. In fact, it almost didn't happen. Had it been fifteen minutes later, it would've been too late," she offered. "Sorry Edward."
"Oh well, thanks anyway, Annie," I finished.
I made way back to Banner's.
I could barely concentrate for the rest of the class. I was surreptitiously stealing glances around me, seeing if anyone was still staring.
Two people were.
Lauren Mallory and Bella Swan.
March:
I never did figure out who gave me the rose or sent the singing valentine.
Not sure who I was supposed to call since there was no card. But whatever.
March was the month. I knew it was. It had to be.
Operation Bella Swan needed to get closer to happening, my time was nearing its end.
Emmett invited Jasper and I to a party in PA for St. Patty's day. Green beer and all that good stuff. The only reason we got to go was because my aunt and uncle didn't want Emmett alone in the house and since I seemed to be a model citizen, also known as boring, it was okay if we stayed while they were in Canada for the weekend.
Arriving Friday after school, Emmett, Jasper and I hung out, played video games and watched movies. The big action wasn't until tomorrow night.
Originally, I was afraid Jasper wouldn't come, since he and Alice were turning into each other. He was cool about it though, he wanted to go. Apparently, Alice and the girls were going to some "thing". Yep, that was exactly how he said it.
They had a thing.
The fuck?
After the movie ended, Emmett started telling us about the house we'd be hanging out in tomorrow night. How cool it was, with glass walls and awesome shit inside of it. Complete with a pool table and a two lane bowling alley in the basement. Apparently the people were rich.
The kid, Eric Yorkie, was some computer geek that was the most popular kid at PA High. Wore the right clothes, had the right car, nice to everyone, rich. Emmett kept saying over and over he was a rich kid. Who cares as long as he's not a douche-bag?
We hit the sack, anticipating the next day.
After we woke up, I made us a big breakfast of pancakes, which I burnt, eggs which stuck to the pan and bacon, super extra crispy. Upon finishing that breakfast of champions, we headed out to play some football.
I got my ass kicked. I fell into three people, apologizing profusely since they weren't even playing with us. On my final fall, after managing to avert the crisis of taking out a whole family, I was covered in mud. I swear to God, while I was laying there on the ground, sweat pouring off my head making mud pies in my hair, I saw Rose's car drive down the street.
Wishful thinking much?
Emmett and Jasper called out to me before I could make a decision one way or another about it.
"Punk, get your ass off the ground, we need to get home!" Emmett hollered.
As we were getting ready for the party, Emmett came into the room with three shots of tequila.
I started to caution him, since I was driving, that I couldn't partake.
"Ed, man, chill. Party is three blocks over, you've had dinner and if you feel weird at all, we can totally walk."
Jasper looked at me, grabbed his shot from Emmett and urged me to take mine.
"Oh, alright, I'll do it. I thought this was St. Patty's day though, and you being half Irishman, Emmett, why the hell are we having tequila?" I pondered.
"Ed, Irish whiskey is disgusting straight. Tequila is not," he crowed.
"Now, bottoms up, ladies!"
Jasper took his shot like a pro, so did Emmett. I, on the other hand, choked and sputtered, nearly spitting it back out. Ick. Not the first time I've had tequila, of course I've had it before, in sips of my mom's margarita.
See, boring.
"Ed, my man, yo, DO NOT have any libations at the party. Dude, you are NOT a drinker, ya look like a fool," Jasper chuckled.
We drove, since I obviously didn't have to worry over the booze.
I couldn't find any place to park. The long driveway was full of cars, as was the surrounding street. We should've walked.
Getting out of my car, we headed toward the house. The place was huge. Ginormous.
I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings at all, and I tripped over my shoelaces. Fuck. I was on my knees in a flash, Jasper and Emmett howling at me.
When I looked up to tell them both to fuck off, I swear saw Bella going into the house.
Nah, wishful thinking on my part, yet again.
Walking inside the foyer, the place was as grand inside, as out. Spiral staircases, big chandeliers, lots of cool antiques, not your typical party house for sure.
We were introduced to Yorkie, Emmett was right, the guy was cool. He told us to make ourselves at home and then walked away to talk to some chick with triple D cup tits. Jesus, what a lucky guy!
We headed down into the basement. Emmett was right, there are two bowling lanes downstairs and a pool table and foosball table as well. Plus, there were hot chicks everywhere. Some smiling at me, some staring and some snickering.
While I stood there admiring the room, Emmett and Jasper both took off, leaving me alone.
I nervously walked over to the beverage table, some dude was there manning it, making sure no one just took off with all the booze.
"What'll ya have, man?" he asked.
"Just water, I'm the DD," I offered lamely, wishing I could suck the words back in.
I shrugged my shoulders up in embarrassment.
"It's cool, man, water it is," he said with a smirk.
Looking around, I saw Jasper already in the corner with someone. What would Ali think?
After losing Emmett and Jasper both in the crowd, I spent a couple of hours, watching pool competitions. There were some serious players, even if they were only in high school. There were some big money bets going on.
Things were getting pretty intense around the pool table when I heard a commotion. A pretty loud commotion at that. It sounds like a cheer and a roar, like something big is happening.
Curiosity got the better of me, I left the pool table and headed down the hall.
Turning the corner and coming into the kitchen, I saw Rose talking to Emmett.
What the fuck? How do they know each other? She was hanging on his arm, so it seems pretty familiar.
I looked around frantically because where there was Rose, there was Bella.
I saw no one resembling her and I wanted to be cool so I calmed myself down.
Rose looked my way, and smiled big. "Edward, what are you doing here?"
"Emmett's my cousin, we came with him," I began. "What are you doing here?"
Emmett interrupts, "Wait... you know Rose?" his face awash with confusion.
"Oh shit, that's right! Forks High, I just met her last weekend and she may well be the love of my life!", he exclaimed, rubbing her back affectionately.
I was too chicken shit to ask about Alice. I fucking hoped that's who Jasper had been sucking face with all night.
"Alice is here," Rose offered, "I haven't seen her for a while though," she screwed her face up in thought.
"Oh, and if you're wondering about Bella, she's around too," she smiled coyly.
Red crept up my neck. I rubbed at it, as if trying to erase the red, to no avail.
Subtly, I started backing up, trying to be cool and not run to find Bella. Rose laughed as I tripped and landed on my ass in front of group of girls.
They picked me up and flirted with me... that's a new concept. After a few minutes, my brain couldn't handle knowing Bella might be in the same room, so I started to amble away.
I walked around the big ass house, wishing it were smaller so I could have immediate satisfaction in finding her.
Then I heard her laugh.
There she was, surrounded by guys who were hanging on her every word and gesture.
Suddenly it hit me. I'm putting myself through all of this for a girl I don't deserve. She'll never find me attractive, I'm definitely not her equal, I don't deserve her. I repeat, I don't deserve her.
As I started to turn around and go back to where I came from, I saw her look up.
Her eyes widened in surprise and her mouth morphed into a sweet smile.
I watched as she excused herself from the crowd of mostly guys who surrounded her and heard her as she said, rather excitedly, I might add, "Excuse me, I see my friend and I want to go talk to him."
Wow, she considers us friends? I guess I can hang with that. I mean, it's more than I probably should get.
I stood there, watching her as she walked toward me, her smile bright.
"Hey, Edward! I didn't know you knew Eric?" she started, "I'm so glad to see you."
I was dumbfounded, she was excited to see me?
"I don't actually know, Eric," I admitted, "I'm here with my cousin, Emmett, he goes to PA High, and invited Jasper and I to come with him."
"Wait? Emmett McCarty? Is that your cousin?" she asked quizzically.
"Yep," I said succinctly.
"Oh my God, Rose is gonna crap! She's in love with him! That's why we're here, and I went to computer camp with Eric and he invited us… it was Rose's ticket to see Emmett again," she squealed.
Suddenly, I noticed that Bella seemed a bit more forward than normal. When she flung her arms around my shoulders and pulled me in for a hug, I knew what the difference was. She'd been drinking.
Placing my hands on her ribcage, I pulled her away from my body and looked down into her face.
"Have you been drinking, Bella?" I asked teasingly.
Holding up her thumb and pointer finger about a half inch away from each other, she smirked and replied, "Just a wee bit o' the green beer, don't cha know," and then proceeded to fall into a fit of giggles.
It was adorable.
She muttered something unintelligible and then blurted out, "I sent you the singing valentine."
The fuck? Bella sent me the singing valentine, oh my God, no fucking way, oh my God!
She stepped away from me, her face red, looking around to see if anyone was watching, I assumed.
"What? You did? Well, why didn't you include a card?" I asked, puzzled, after I pulled myself out of my inner freak out.
"Well, I was worried you'd think it was dumb and after the rose that Lauren put in your locker, I was worried you were into her and I didn't want to interfere with that. Wait, yes I did, I sent the signing valentine on purpose so she'd see someone else was interested too," she stammered.
This may well become the best night of my everlovin' life. Bella sent me a valentine, because she was interested in me.
Thud.
That was the sound of me falling down in shock. Thankfully, only in my head this time.
Bella was watching me process it all, she seemed nervous.
"Why are you telling me this now?" I questioned.
"Because, you're here, it's a sign. And because I've fortified myself with liquid courage," she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders.
Taking a deep breath, I decided that if she could have courage, I could have courage and even though mine was only there because she went first, I was still going to say it was courage.
"Bella, I've liked you for so long. I never thought I had a chance, I mean, look at me and then look at you," I volunteered.
"You're this beautiful, unattainable girl who I've crushed on for a long time."
She stared up at me, her beautiful brown eyes looking into mine. She smiled softly, and then decided to change my life with what she said next.
"I've had a crush on you since fifth grade, Edward. I'm going away to school for fall and figured it was now or never. You're the sweetest guy I know, I've just never had the guts to tell you this before."
Standing up on her tip toes, she whispered in my ear softly, "Wanna get out of here and talk somewhere privately?"
I could only nod as she grabbed my hand and started walking toward the front of the house.
I saw Jasper and Ali on the side of the room, Ali jumping up and down in excitement and Jasper giving me that signature head bob he does. Alice gave Bella a thumbs up and I noticed Bella gave one back.
Walking through the kitchen to get outside, Emmett and Rose were standing there wrapped up in each other. Rose took one look at us heading out the door and hollered the loudest "YES!" known to man.
Emmett just grinned and said, "Dude!" Typical Emmett.
Sitting down on a lawn chair in the back yard, we faced each other and grinned like fools.
"Edward, can I kiss you," she asked, her hands shaking.
"Um, well, I…" I started, swallowing nervously, "I've never kissed anyone before."
"That's okay, I haven't either," she admitted shyly.
Leaning forward, we both kind of twisted our heads the same direction at the same time, causing her to giggle outrageously.
I couldn't help but chuckle myself. I was so happy we were the blind leading the blind.
"You wanna try again," she asked, looking up at me through her eyelashes.
"Bella, I'm a guy, we always want to try again," I confessed.
"Just stay still, I'll come to you," I told her softly.
When our lips touched, I had an instant raging boner. But, any embarrassment I had from it didn't matter in the least because the feeling of her lips on mine was surreal. I'd imagined it so many times and my imagination was never this good. She was perfect.
We explored each other's mouths, a little tongue here and there. I think kissing Bella is my favorite thing ever.
March was a very, very good month.
August:
We dated all the way to the end of the school year and throughout the summer. And we kissed a lot.
The good news was that Bella had been accepted to the University of Washington and I was going to Seattle Pacific so we weren't far from each other at all.
The night before we left Forks to head to Seattle for school, Bella and I met at her parent's house for dinner. Her mom and dad were both working and so we had the house to ourselves.
After eating and clearing the dishes, we settled in on the couch for a movie.
I couldn't pay attention to anything. I had Bella's head in my lap as I played with her hair.
I could feel her hot breath on my leg, my dick was as hard as a rock.
"Edward," she murmured.
"Yeah," I answered, suppressing a groan. She'd started drawing lines on my leg with her fingernail. It was killing me.
"Do you ever think about having sex. I mean about us having sex," she pondered.
Jesus. What the what?
"Yeah, I do," I answered shakily. "How about you?"
"Yeah. All the time," she offered, her voice nervous like mine. She still wasn't looking at me.
"Edward, can we have sex tonight," she questioned, finally turning and looking up at me from my lap.
I swallowed loudly.
"Or do you want to wait for someone special?" she added at the last minute, looking away from me suddenly.
"Bella, first of all, you are someone special, no I don't want to wait unless you want to wait and yes we can have sex tonight if you want to," I stammered out, as I took my hand and turned her head back toward me.
She sat up quickly, a big grin on her face, "Really?" she said excitedly.
I could only nod.
Standing up quickly she grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch to follow her up the stairs and to her room. Charlie and Renee had rules, so I'd never been up here before.
I'll admit I was a bit nervous at the prospect of her parents coming home soon and interrupting us in the middle of something. Charlie has a gun. He knows how to use it. He's hinted he will use it on me if necessary.
"Bella, what about your mom and dad?" I inquired shakily.
"They're not going to be home until after eleven, my mom sent me a text before we started the movie," she offered, grinning like a mad woman.
"Well, it looks like we've got plenty of time then," I reasoned. Not that I'd last that long.
Pulling me into her room now, she stood in front of me and took my hand, placing it on her tit.
Now, I'd felt her tits before, but knowing what was coming next, literally and figuratively, I thought I was going to pass out.
Groaning, I gave it a squeeze, eliciting a groan from her as well.
She started grabbing my belt, pulling on it impatiently.
"Bella, slow down, I'll take care of it," I moaned.
"Hurry, Edward, I want you. Now," she whimpered.
That was all it took, I leaned down and started kissing her crazy, undoing my buckle and pants, reaching for hers when I was finished.
Her hands grabbed at the waist of my jeans, pushing them down to my knees, my boxers still up.
I pushed her pants down and she stepped out of them, one leg at a time, smiling beguilingly at me all the while.
"Edward, come here," she said sexily as she motioned with her finger to come to her.
I walked toward her after kicking my jeans off, removing my glasses and whipping my shirt off over my head.
She was making quick time taking her shirt off too, leaving her standing there in her perfect white bra and underwear.
"My God, you're beautiful," I whimpered, shaking my head at my luck.
She smiled the prettiest smile, then reached for me, pulling me on top of her on her bed.
"Edward, I love you. I can't think of anyone better to have my first time with. Rose and I went and got on the pill, so we're good to go." Then she teased, "If you still want to, that is."
"I love you too, Bella, and of course I still want to," I declared.
"Okay, let's do this!" she exclaimed, beaming up at me.
I cracked up. She was amazing and she was mine.
We slowly explored one another's bodies, kissing nipples, licking things… yeah, she licked me.
Licked. My. Dick.
Finally, when I didn't think I could take one more second outside of her, she asked if I was ready, and told me that she needed me inside her.
Slowly, oh so slowly, I entered her. I was so afraid it was going to hurt her and so afraid I was going to blow my load, I was really hesitant.
"Do it, Edward, do it," she blurted.
So I did.
My, God, it was like nothing I could've imagined. So warm, so tight, so wet and so fucking incredible.
She was tense for only a few moments, and then started getting into it... a lot.
I was about four seconds from losing it, when she suddenly told me to go faster.
That was it, I was done.
I lay there afterward, kissing her all over, her hands running up and down my back, realizing what a lucky guy I was.
Dreams do come true, even if I was odd, even if I was clumsy, I got the girl I wanted and she got me.