Okay, so I have a few things to say before starting. I won't be able to put links in like I did on AO3 or LJ, so if you want to see them go ahead and head to my profile and check the story out in those places.

So this was written for the Sabriel Mini-Bang over on Live Journal First and foremost, I would like to thank the people over at gsd_rtfn and the sabriel_mini (both communities on LJ) because the only reason this got done was because of the awesome support system they put together.

I have a few other people to thank. First up is Mel (ourdivineashes on Tumblr) who listened to me complain constantly and was a wonderful cheerleader. Next is Natasha (levstrong on Tumblr). She not only helped me with the Trickster mythology, but she was an awesome sounding board, helped me flesh out some of my head-canons, let me borrow Chamuel, and helped me whenever I was stuck on what to do next (not to mention a huge ego-boost). She was an absolute huge help. I also need to thank Nadia (life-imitates-art on Tumblr) who was my beta and fixed any of my stupid typos. Last but not least, my artist Gabe (mandos_sama on LJ) who was absolutely wonderful.

The way I feel about this story is like a mother feels for her newborn babe. I am incredibly proud and protective of it. I would really appreciate it if you would leave me feedback on what you thought. And don't forget to check out Gabe's art and leave him feedback too. Just…thank you to everyone!

Chapter One: In Which Gabriel Introduces Himself to You Petty and Miniscule Mortals and Makes A Totally Selfless Decision to Protect the Lot of You Because He Is Just That Awesome

First thing's first, my dim-witted and most likely human readers: I am not dead.

Yeah, that's right. This isn't going to turn into a cliché. I am the Trickster, after all. I create clichés – I never follow them. Not if I can help it, anyway. So you don't have to worry about this turning into The Sixth Sense or any of those other stories where you get a narrator that has actually been dead the whole time. I survive the Apocalypse. So do those ridiculous Winchesters and my baby brother. We save the day.

Not that you ever realised it, ungrateful bastards. You humans sure do an awesome job at living with your eyes closed. And blindfolded. And tied up.

Anyway, the point is that you are all a bunch of blind idiots who have no idea what's going on around you. And because I am the awesome celestial being that I am, I'm going to tell you exactly how it went down. Don't listen to those other three idiots; they have no idea how to tell a story.

Our story begins with yours truly finishing up a particularly delicious and brilliant trick. Because Sasquatch over here is complaining, you won't get to hear about how truly brilliant it was. But trust me, it was my crowning glory. Right in the middle of this fantastic justice, the Apocalypse started. Because of how blind you all are, you aren't going to remember where you were when it happened. Unless, of course, you happened to be on that airplane that flew over St. Mary's Convent.

But you aren't what matters, silly humans. You're not a part of this story except in the abstract "we totally risked our lives and peace of mind to save your asses" kind of way. What matters is that I was all the way in Oregon when my delightful older brother stepped down onto the Earth in Maryland. Well, burst onto. It's kind of hard to step anywhere without a vessel.

I knew the moment not-so-little Sammy Winchester iced the First Demon and Lucifer popped out of his cage. I could lie to you all and tell you that I was completely awesome and started planning how to stop dear old Mikey and Luci from using your planet as their play-thing right away, but Sam's making me try a stab at this whole concept of "nothing but the truth."

Ridiculous, right? How are you supposed to play a good trick if you're always telling the truth? Just look at Castiel. He couldn't play a trick to save his life.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. At this point, I didn't even know my baby bro was down on Earth, much less with the Winchesters. And while I'm being honest, I will say that I spent quite a lot of time thinking. I flew around the world for a bit. Stopped in all my favourite getaways and just watched all of you humans go about your seemingly insignificant lives.

Understand that I've spent a lot of time on Earth. More than any other angel. Most angels come down for a mission and head straight home. I have spent thousands of years living on your planet. And I'm not being hyperbolic. The amount of time I've spent on Earth is a rough estimate to how long you humans have measured time. I've been here for a while.

I haven't always enjoyed it. I'm a Trickster, after all. My job is to find all of the bad apples in your race and teach them lessons. You humans have a lot of bad apples, let me tell you. You're filthy and rude and stupid and blind and don't know what's good for you. You're a horrible bunch that kill and mutilate each other over the most ridiculous things. And that's not even mentioning the really bad people in your histories. I haven't exactly seen the light side of humanity. I've seen the lowest of the low.

I may have considered joining my older brother and wiping you saps off the face of the Earth. I might have also considered joining my other big bro and letting half of you die so I could be with my family again and go home.

The problem with both of those plans, though? Either Michael or Lucifer was going to die.

It isn't something you humans can comprehend, really. Those two have been fighting for all of existence. It was their niche, you know? I was the one that always joked around and spread Dad's word. Raphael was the typical quiet one that was just waiting for a chance to prove himself. Michael and Lucifer? They were Dad's golden boys and never stopped trying to fight for that Number One position.

We all loved our Father too much. Guess that's why He decided to leave. Angels don't have a lot of perspective. Archangels especially. We tend to develop this tunnel vision whenever Dad's around. It's why Michael and Lucifer fought so much and why this stupid idea of "let's-fight-it-out-and-battle-for-keeps" started anyway. I think Dad figured if they had one big fight it would get everything out.

That wasn't good enough for me. Even after Lucifer got locked up in hell, there was still fighting. Michael and Raphael started to fight and that just started the seraphs up and it all blew up after that. Me? I'm not a fighter. Not really. Yeah, angels are warriors. But me? I was Dad's Messenger. I was sent out to fight the good fight every now and then, but mostly I spread the good news and all that jazz.

So when everyone started tearing into each other? I couldn't stand it. I love my family as much as I love my Father. Even if they are a bunch of gloomy freaks.

So I left. Went native, so to speak. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. First I had to find a vessel. Then I had to find someone who could make me up a vessel that couldn't get tracked down by my brothers. Which, let me tell you, was not an easy feat. Luckily, I have always been a sweet talker and Freyja had a bit of a crush on me. Well, before I took up the mantle of Loki, anyway.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Michael. Lucifer. Apocalypse.

I didn't join up for Team "Let's Kick the Apocalypse in the Ass" right away. I had to think things over first, you know? Had to decide what to do. Decide which team to pick. Hey, don't go and hold it against me that I didn't join up with the Wonder Team right away. I've spent most of my existence hearing about how Michael was going to kick Lucifer's ass and bring Paradise on Earth.

I spent a lot of time hanging out in Venice. That's where my favourite hideout is and I figured that with the Apocalypse officially started, my days were numbered. Might as well enjoy the little things while I could, right? And I might as well be comfortable while I made the decision of what team to back. Because I had a few options and I knew that I would be a welcome help to any team.

My options were as follows:

1. Join Lucifer. Can't say I was thrilled with the idea even if I didn't care for most of you slimy humans. Luci and I may have gotten along back in the day, but I got the feeling that these days he was probably – how do you humans put it? Oh, yeah – batshit insane. Hell tended to do that to people.

2. Go back to heaven and join Michael. I have to admit, that this was tempting. I had been away from home for a while. And sure, the pagans were fun and I liked them. But the chance to go back home? To see my family again? Yeah, it was pretty tempting.

3. Wait until it's over. Again, very tempting. It would be easy to just pretend the Apocalypse wasn't happening. Then I wouldn't have to choose. I could just wait. You might not think I would be very good at waiting, but I am. Or, I can be.

4. Find my big brothers' vessels and stop this thing in its tracks. I have to say that I wasn't too keen on this idea. First of all, it would take a hell of a lot of work on my part. Work that would probably be scorned, mocked, and fought at every turn.

Dean is telling me to get on with it and that I already said which team I joined. Well, Dean can stuff it. Yeah, you smart asses already know what I chose. So? Doesn't mean I can't tell you why I made that choice. I saved your sorry asses so you can damn well listen to what I have to say.

I thought it over for a while. And it was a close call, so you humans should be happy. I almost chose not to do anything. Why should I? Why should I fight against Michael and Lucifer for a planet I shouldn't even care about?

You humans are lucky. You really are. Because mostly, my brother's right about you. You're worthless and horrible creatures that would sooner kill each other than try to solve your problems.

But some of you try. You try to be better. And that's why Dad is always going to love you best. Because you humans can do something we angels can never hope to be able to do. You can change. Angels? It takes millennia for us to change. That's why Dad loves you best. As corny as it sounds, you lot are beautiful because of your flaws. It's something my family has never been able to understand.

Well, except for Castiel. But he's always been weird. It doesn't really surprise me that he was the first to really like humans. One specific human, but if I talk too much about that I'm pretty sure Dean will try to kill me on the spot and we can't have that, now can we? Don't want this story to end before it's even started, after all.

The point is that angels don't change easily. It took me hundreds of years to find a way to be more than just a convincing Trickster. By the time I met up with the Winchesters for the first time, I was a Trickster. I had completely cut myself off from heaven and convinced myself I didn't care about life back home anymore.

Then those stupid, blind, and incredibly oblivious Winchesters came along. And they just had to be the kinds of humans I liked. They were exactly what was awesome about humanity. For every couple dozen scumbags I could find and put in their place, there was a human like Sam and Dean Winchester. A human who would live in the moment, but would fight with dying breaths to protect others. To try and do what they thought was right.

So really, it was all their fault. I would never have thought to try and stop my big brothers if those idiots hadn't come along. They turned me away from the rewarding and oh so much fun unrighteous path. They were the first domino in my "rehabilitation," so to speak. They made me remember what being an angel was like.

I make it sound a lot easier than it was. Actively choosing to fight the good fight, warranted or not, was not an easy decision. I love my brothers. I love them even though they are stupid and childish and constantly vying for Dad's attention. I would have given anything for things to go back to what they were like before the fighting. Anything.

But by then I had realised I was never going to get that. Michael and Lucifer would never stop fighting. If they had their way, they would take the Winchesters as vessels and kill each other. Helping either one of them or standing back and letting it happen – I would end up losing one of them. If I tried to stop them, they could both live. Even if Lucifer was in hell, he would be alive.

So that, foolish mortals, is how you got the archangel Gabriel to play for your team.