The scream of a siren collided with the screech of skidding tires—and the shriek of one terrified fox. But Officer Judy Hopps made the sharp turn with ease. Furry brow furrowed, violet eyes locked on her fleeing target, she kept her foot planted firmly on the gas pedal and turned (or, rather, flew) onto Alopex Ave. The car swiveled violently as its wheels straightened out.

"Um, Carrots?"

Judy had been ignoring her partner for the past ten minutes. But when she glanced over at him—and saw that his claws were beginning to leave deep marks in the leather seats—she granted the fox a curt, "Mm?"

He pointed a thumb towards the rear of the vehicle. "He went thatta way."

"Did he now?" Zootopia's first rabbit cop smirked, adding another five miles-per-hour to her already hazardous speed.

Officer Nick Wilde's voice was even, but his rust-colored fur was standing on end. "Yes, yes he did," he said, shifting his extended limbs slightly so as to brace himself between the car door and the glove box more effectively. "So, would you mind explaining, oh designated driver, why we made a left back there?"

Judy drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, a habit of hers when she was starting to feel irritated. "Remember that time we saw Hyena Gomez at the Velour on Thylogale Street?" she asked.

"… Yeah."

"And do you remember how lost we got afterwards?"

"How could I forget?"

Judy made a sharp, squealing right onto Rattus Road. "Do you remember why we got lost?"

"Yes, because you—ah! Rodent! RODENT! Watch-out-watch-out-watch-out!"

Judy swerved an inch to the right, narrowly avoiding a tiny red Alpha Romeo. Nick was grateful the sirens were going; he'd rather not know what the irate little mouse was shouting at them.

"Because you," he continued through bared teeth, "kept getting us stuck on one-way streets. It took us fifteen minutes to stop going in circles. Actually …" Nick glanced as a passing sign. "Now that you mention it, the perp's headed in that direction."

Judy made another right, smirk still firmly in place. "Hmm. I wonder if our friend knows that."

Nick's ears perked up.

"His profile says he's from out of town," Judy continued. Horns blared as they soared through a red light. "He came to Zootopia in the hopes that he might make it big on the criminal scene. If he gets half as lost as we did—"

"—and you're betting he will."

Judy nodded. "Then the roads should spit him out right … about …"

Suddenly, headlights appeared a quarter mile down the road. They were coming up fast. Judy squealed. "HAH! I knew it! That's right, come to Judy." With a mischievous cackle, she floored it. Nick moaned.

"Rabbit, what are you doing?"

His partner ignored him.

"Rabbit." They were ten yards away from a collision at best. "RA—"

"Oh, you dumb fox!" Judy hissed. "Could you just shut up and trust me for two seconds?"

"WE DON'T HAVE TWO SECONDS!"

Suddenly, in a haze of burning rubber, the perp slammed on his brakes, swerving dangerously between the tall, brick buildings. Judy did the same. She was out, gun cocked, before Nick even had time to unbuckle his seatbelt—not that he was about to any time soon.

"SHOW ME YOUR HOOVES!" Judy shouted. "YOUR HOOVES, HOFFMAN!"

A somewhat astounded but tough-looking zebra extended a pair of golden-shoed hooves out the car window. His mane was in cornrows, both ears had a long row of gold and silver earrings, and long, jagged scars on his neck made grotesque X's with his stripes.

Still trembling, Nick reached for his radio. "C-Clawhauser, this is W-Wilde. Send backup."

Through a mouthful of something (donuts, Nick guessed), the dispatch cheetah mumbled something that sounded like, "Sure thing!" Then he swallowed. "Say, Nick, you okay? You sound—"

"—like Judy had another one of her ideas?" The fox laughed involuntarily, an explosion of un-Nick-like giddiness. He swallowed. "Yes. Now, if you don't mind." He switched off the radio.

Stacey "X-tasy" Hoffman was reluctantly exiting his vehicle. Nick armed himself and did the same. He may have just looked death square in the eye, but panicking about it would have to come later; right now Judy needed him.

"Allow me," he said, stepping past the rabbit. Height-wise, he only came up to the zebra's hindquarters, so he added a fierce snarl to his approach. "HOOVES UP!"

Meanwhile, Judy began searching the car, the built-in flashlight on her iPhone activated. Nick could hear her muttering to herself, "Well, well, well, what have we here?"

"Whatever it is, it isn't mine!" brayed the zebra.

Nick snorted. "It isn't anymore, pal." He fastened a pair of handcuffs around the zebra's hooves, lassoed him—standard procedures for ungulate-types—and lead him towards the police car. "Alright, let's go," he said, trying to sound tough, but feeling more than a little unsettled—and not because this criminal was twice his size; after two years on the force, Nick knew how to take care of himself. It was the haunting thought that, not too long ago, he'd been on the opposite end of this profession. A common hustler, like this snaggletooth punk. He shook his head, anxiety rising as he shoved the zebra inside the vehicle. This could have been me, he thought, and he shuddered.

Judy appeared at his side with a pawful of Ziploc bags. Nick recognized their contents all too well. "I dunno, Carrots," he said, stroking his chin in a gesture of mock-doubt. "Think we've got enough evidence to convince the judge he's our animal?"

The rabbit snorted. "Truth is, Slick, I think we have too much evidence. Whaddya say we round up the rest of his posse and let 'em share?"

The fox cocked an eyebrow. "Why, Miss Hopps," he said, clicking his tongue. "I do believe that's against standard procedure. I'd say that's a first, but oh, wait—so's playing chicken with perps on one-way streets."

Judy stretched her arms out, bringing them up to rest behind her head. "Hey, we caught our guy, didn't we? And even if we hadn't, I'd do it again to see that look on your face one more time." Her expression morphed into one of mock-grotesque terror.

"Oh would you, now?" growled Nick.

"Yep. For sure."

"I'm that funny when I'm scared, huh?

"A natural comedian."

"Well, let's see your face when I do THIS"—Nick flung his arm around the rabbit's tiny waist, pulling her into his side. He ignored her cries of protest, rapidly rubbing his knuckles against the spot between her ears.

"Nick! Ow! Come on, lemme go! This isn't fair!"

"Not a chance, rabbit." Two cop cars pulled up behind X-tasy's vehicle, their headlights lighting up the wrestling pair.

"Gah! This is embarrassing! Cut it out, I'm serious! Stooooop!" She shoved a paw into his ribs, tickling him viciously until he couldn't hold on any longer. They were still chuckling giddily as a team of their coworkers invaded the scene.

"HOPPS. WILDE."

The pair snapped into attention at the sound of their approaching chief. "Sir!"

"What's going on here? Where's Hoffman?"

Nick pressed his lips together, the threat of laughter pulsating in his throat. Judy took over—thank goodness.

"He's in the car, sir, cuffed and ready for a night in the tank. Standard procedure." She threw in a salute, as if to show she still took her job seriously.

The broad-shouldered buffalo glanced over at the police vehicle, then back at his officers. He grunted, nostrils flaring. "I see. And that little"—he gestured towards them vaguely—"whatever it was. Was that also standard procedure?"

Nick swallowed. The Chief had him there. "Just trying to keep our spirits up, Chief. Crime being what it is these days, I figure if we don't keep our senses of humor intact, we might start to find the job a little, well"—he smiled good-naturedly—"discouraging, for lack of a better word. You understand, of course."

Whether Chief Bogo understood or not was unapparent. What was apparent was his eagerness to stop playing babysitter and wrap this case up once and for all. "Alright, everyone," he said, turning. "Let's get this long-faced delinquent back to the station—ah ah, not you two." He placed his hooves on Nick and Judy's shoulders, pulling the decamping duo backward. "You will get your hairy little hineys over to Jaguar Jewelers in Downtown Tundra Town. There's been a break in, and I want you on it. If, that is"—he bent over until the points of his horns were an inch from his officers' faces—"you can keep your 'senses of humor' under control."

Nick and Judy nodded vigorously. But as they went to swap keys with another officer, Judy prodded her partner's ribs one last time and scampered off. Nick was laughing too hard to keep up.