Juvenile Handicaps, Queers & Delinquents

I own no one. Rated R for language, drugs, sex, rape, and violence. Guest appearances by Rey Mysterio, Gregory Helms, Michael Cole, Tazz, The Spirit Squad & Arnold Schwarzenegger. This story is told by a character's point of view.

Cue to a kid walking out of his house, waving goodbye to a woman and a man. The bus stops and he is greeted by the driver. The Story begins. Hello, my name is Shippo Ryman; I'm handicapped because I'm shorter than most other students. The man and woman were not my mom and dad. My parents are in jail for abuse, due to my being handicap. The woman is my dad's sister, Sango Ryman; the man is her brother, Kevin Ryman, a cop. The bus driver I greeted was Kent Paul. He got his name based on where he's from; Kent England. He's an English guy, and a good friend. Paul picks up a girl. This girl is Satsuki Urimeshi. She's a lesbian. Weird, she's just seven, what the hell was her mom thinking. Then again, her mom approves because 14 years ago, she was at middle school party, got drunk and had sex. As a result, she gave birth to Yusuke Urimeshi. 7 years later, she became 21, and started drinking in bars. She got drunk, again, and gave birth to Satsuki. Now, she doesn't have to worry on her children getting treated the same, Yusuke can't get pregnant, he's a guy, and Satsuki can't get impregnated by another girl. "Hi Shippo", Satsuki said. She and I are best friends. I had a crush on her once, which is how I found out she's a lesbian. She felt sorry and became my friend. She also makes up by greeting me with a kiss on the cheek. Paul picks up another girl. This is Hitomi Chapman, daughter of former gangster, now subway person Jim Chapman, and his wife Yoko Suzuki. She's a nice girl, sometimes to me; she sometimes gives me a cookie from her lunch just out of kindness. Paul gets yet another girl. This is Rin Slate, daughter of Jack Slate. Her mom is also jailed due to child abuse. He was adopted into a family along with another orphan named Jack, whose legal name is now Raiden. He's my math teacher. Jack has two brothers, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha. They never gave their last names. Rin is mentally retarded. She's often clueless, and only has one friend, Hitomi. Rin is very nice though, she does speak in third person. Paul finally picks up a boy. This is Sota Higurashi. I do not like him. He is often mean to me and Satsuki. "Boo!" Sota said as he passed Shippo & Satsuki. See what I mean. "Kid, knock it off", Paul said. Paul is aware Sota is mean. Sota has a sister named Kagome. She's very pretty, I think she likes Inuyasha. Sota likes Hitomi, he always eyes her. Paul picks up two kids. Dammit, it's them. Ronnie King and Chiyo Coen. Two badass kids. The meanest kids ever. Ronnie's father is David King, a plumber and notorious gangster, mother Alyssa Ashcroft, journalist and crazy bitch. Chiyo's dad is Billy Coen, ex-marine and gangster. Her mom Rebecca Chambers is divorced him and is a cop, but was unable to claim her daughter, though she's trying. "Look, its shorty and the queer", Chiyo said. "Sit your asses down", Paul said. We arrive in school. A limo pulls up. It's Mizuki Kaiba, sister of ex-Team Rocket member James Kaiba, and cousin of Duel Master Champion, Seto Kaiba. I think Satsuki has a crush on her.

"What a nice day", Satsuki said. "Wonder how long this'll last", I said. "Shippo, why are you always so down on things?" Satsuki asked. "Because we walk through, get called names, and get out asses kicked by 3 certain people", I said. "Relax buddy, we should be fine", Satsuki said. Just then the 1st asshole comes. "Hey short-stuff, queer-girl", Sota said. "Fuck off, Sota", I said. "Whoa, tough little motherfucker, then again, you wish you can be a motherfucker, you would kill to fuck anyone, even that girl decided to switch sexuality to avoid doing you", Sota said. "I don't know, your sweet-ass sister didn't mind", I said. "You bastard, I'll kill you", Sota said as he attacked me. "Get off him", Satsuki yelled. Sota smacked her. "Fuck off", Sota said. Now I'm pissed. "Don't you touch her", I said as I punched Sota. Then I was grabbed by 2 people; Ronnie & Chiyo. "Hello prick", Ronnie said. "You know better than to pick fights", Chiyo said. Sota got up and was gonna punch me, but our Principal, Gabriel Logan showed up. "Do I see fighting?" he asked. "No sir", Sota said. "Good, now get to class, or else", Principal Logan said. He's a hard-ass.

By now you're all probably thinking 'how the hell does a seven-year-old kid know about fucking, and who taught him to swear'. All 8 kids, including myself know about sex. I found out because of my uncle Kevin. He figured I learned about the birds and the bees sooner than later. Satsuki saw her mom kiss other women when she got drunk, which led to her learning sex & lesbianism. To be honest, her mom's a slut. Sota & Rin found out together. Once, Rin accidentally walked into the boys room, she opened the door Sota was in. He just finished peeing. He turned around and accidentally showed her his penis. She got curious, then lowered her panties and saw if his penis would fit in her vagina. It fit, so they lost there virginity at a young age. Jesus. I found this out when I overheard Rin say it to Hitomi. That's how Hitomi found out. Mizuki found out by reading about it in a book. Ronnie & Chiyo know; because they have heard about gangbanging, don't ask where. They often do it in their private bathroom. The swearing I learned from my uncle. To him, everything is a Son of a bitch. Satsuki doesn't like swearing, but does it occasionally. Sota, Ronnie & Chiyo also swear, who do you think taught them. Though I would like to sleep with Kagome, she's so fuckin' hot. She once humored me with a kiss on the cheek, most to Sota's anger.

I sat in my math class with Mr. Raiden as he's called. Sota was in this class. He would probably be bothering me, but instead talks with Rin about Hitomi. The bell rang. I was leaving, but Sota grabbed me. "You and I have some unfinished business", he said. I was going to get hit, if not for Hitomi showing up. "Sota, are you picking on poor defenseless Shippo again?" Hitomi asked. I hate when people say I'm defenseless, but if I spoke, she probably would have left. "No, what made you think that?" Sota asked. "Shippo, come here", she called to me. I hid behind her. "Quit bothering him, he's very little", Hitomi said. I love this girl.

It was lunchtime, I was having a Philly Cheese steak, and Satsuki was having a hamburger. When I sat on my table, Hitomi comes over. "Shippo, do you want my cookie?' Hitomi asked. "Why do you always give me a cookie? Don't you ever want it?" I asked. "I just thought you might want one", Hitomi said. "Are you coming on to me?" I asked. "No silly, I'm just being nice", Hitomi said. I took the cookie and thanked her. She walked up the room and was stopped by Sota. "Why the fuck are you giving him cookies?" he asked rather nasty. "I'm trying to be nice, unlike you", Hitomi said and left. "I hate that little fucker", Sota said. "Chill man, we'll teach him to mess with your girl", Ronnie said. "Leave that to us", Chiyo said.

Later, I decided to use the bathroom. Well it wasn't up to me, it was up to my bladder, and it won. I sat on the seat since I'm too short to stand up and pee. I sat down and peed. Then I heard someone come to the bathroom. I assumed it was a boy coming. Then they headed for my chamber. "This is taken", I said. "I see", said a voice. It was a girl's voice. "Who's that, this is the boy's room", I said. The door flung open. It was Chiyo. "Hello hottie", she said. She grabbed me and kissed me. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. She then started sucking on my dick. "Jesus Christ!" I yelled. She moaned as she sucked. I couldn't help but moan too, it felt so damn good. Her tongue was rolling around my penis. I felt if I was going to cum. Then Ronnie walks in. "So Shippo, you're trying to take my girl eh?" he said. Then he started beating me up. I was all bloody as I left the bathroom. Mizuki was walking by when she saw me. "Oh my God", she grabbed me and took me to the nurse where I explained what happened. She noted Principal Logan and immediately got the 2 kids suspended. Sango & Kevin showed up all worried. Kevin was really pissed, he knew Ronnie's parents, and Chiyo's as well, he never liked them, except Chiyo's mom. Sango took me home, Kevin went to a bar. The bar was owned by a man named David (not David King). Everyone called him Solid Snake. He hangs there when he's upset, where he meets his dream girl, Cindy Lennox, the waitress of the bar. I stayed home while Sango nursed my wounds.

I was watching T.V. minding my business when the doorbell rang. It was Hitomi. "Hi, I heard what happened at school, I must apologize for them, my dad knew their dads, anyway I was wondering if you want to join me in a sleepover at my house, you can bring your friend if you want", she said. "Are you sure you're not hitting on me?" I asked. "No silly, I'm just trying to be your friend", she said. "When's the sleepover?" I asked. "At 8:00 PM", Hitomi said. Later I went with the permission of Sango, I was with Satsuki. I knocked and was greeted by Hitomi's mom. "Hi there, Hitomi's in her room, go see her", she said. "Thanks Mrs. Chapman", I said. "Call me Yoko", she said. We went to Hitomi's room. I knocked, and was greeted by Rin. "The tiny kid is here", she said. I don't get angry when she calls me little because she doesn't know any better. "The lesbian is here too", Rin said. Satsuki was a little embarrassed about that comment. "Rin, don't say that stuff, it's rude", Hitomi said. "Rin was only trying to help", Rin said. "Insulting them isn't helping", Hitomi said. "So who else is here?" Satsuki asked. "Mizuki and Sota", Rin said. "What's Sota doing here?" I asked. "We're going too help Sota leave that little gang", Hitomi. "Rin doesn't like Ronnie & Chiyo, they're assholes; oops, Rin said a bad word", Rin said. "Who cares, everybody else says it", Sota said. "Relax, no need to be a smart-ass", Mizuki said. "Now Mizuki said a bad word", Rin said. Mizuki gave the 'Do I look like I care what you think' look. "Come on everyone, we're here to have fun, and put all our differences aside", Hitomi said. So we sat down and Hitomi was looking for a board game. Rin came to me. "You're very cute", she said. I blushed. "I can't find a game, how about Truth or Dare?" Hitomi asked. "Are you sure?" Mizuki asked. "If things get R rated, you have a choice not to do it, also, no fighting", Hitomi said. "Crap", Sota whispered. "I'll go first, spinning the bottle", Hitomi said. The bottle landed on Mizuki. "Mizuki, truth or dare?" Hitomi asked. "Truth", Mizuki said. "Which British rock star do you like?" Hitomi asked. "Elton John", Mizuki said. She spun the bottle, it landed on Rin. "Truth or dare?" Mizuki asked. "Dare", Rin said. "I dare you to kiss Shippo on the lips", Mizuki said. I was shocked she said that. Rin decided to pucker up and land one on me. It lasted 5 seconds, but felt like an eternity. I enjoyed it. Rin spun the bottle. It landed on Satsuki. "Satsuki, truth or dare?" Rin asked. "Dare", Satsuki said. "Rin dares Satsuki to spank Sota", Rin said. "I thought there was no violence", Sota said. "You can spank him, just not hard", Hitomi said. Satsuki proceeded to spank Sota. The poor bastard. "Last spin", Hitomi said. Sota spun and it landed on me. Just my luck. "Shippo, truth or dare", he said rather sinisterly. I wasn't sure what to say. "Truth", I said. It seemed like the lesser of two evils. "Do you like Rin?" he asked. I was shocked as bloody hell. Sure we kissed, but it was a dare. Now is the moment of truth. "Yes, I do", I said. Rin started screaming with joy. "Rin has a boyfriend, Rin has a boyfriend", Rin said. She grabbed me and started kissing me. "We'll love each other forever, we'll get married, have children, and do other things mommies & daddies do", Rin said. "That's so romantic", Satsuki said, getting closer to Mizuki. "It's cute, two handicap kids, one physical, one mental", Mizuki said. "Love is a great thing", Satsuki said in Mizuki's ear. Now Mizuki was freaked. "What the hell are you doing?" Mizuki asked. "Nothing", Satsuki said, now rubbing Mizuki's back. "This isn't nothing", Mizuki said. Satsuki started nuzzling Mizuki's neck. "Stop that tickles", Mizuki laughed. Satsuki began smooching Mizuki. Mizuki apparently enjoyed it. "Holy Shit", Sota said. The girls continued kissing. Sota tried his luck. "So Hitomi, since everybody but us has a girlfriend, what do ya say we get together?" he asked. "Can you be nice to Shippo?" Hitomi asked. "Sure, watch this", Sota said. He grabbed me then started hugging me. Then he kissed my forehead. What the fuck is wrong with him? "See, I can be nice", Sota said. "As long as that stays, I'll go out with you", Hitomi said. She gave him a kiss. In one night, everyone had romance.

The next day of school was perfect for us, no problems, no taunting, everything was going smoothly. After school, Ronnie & Chiyo came to Sota. "Hey Sota, how about a smoke?" Ronnie asked. "No way, my girl wouldn't appreciate that", Sota said. "What the hell are you talking about?" Ronnie asked. "I'm not that type of guy anymore, I have new friends", Sota said. He left. "What the fuck just happened?" Chiyo asked. "I don't know, but I don't fuckin' like it", Ronnie asked. "Boy do you have a bad mouth, just like your old man", groundskeeper Johnny Storm said. "What?" Ronnie said. "I knew your old man, biggest Sonuva bitch I know, well see ya", groundskeeper Johnny said. Then he left. If you're all wondering how the hell I know this, I was later informed. Anyway, after school I went home. "Shippo, come here will ya", Sango said. "What is it?" I asked. "I need you to go to the store and get some soda, 2 six packs", Sango said. "Which type?" I asked. "Your favorite, Vanilla Coke", Sango said. "Oh my God, I love that, what's the occasion?" I said. "Just to have soda, here's the money, hurry up please", Sango said. I ran to the store. In the store, I saw Inuyasha, his brother Raiden, and 3 friends, James "Logan" Howlett, Mugen & Carlos Olivera. "Where's the fuckin' beer?" Inuyasha asked. "Here dude", Carlos said. "Excuse me please", I said. "Hey it's little Shippo", Mugen said. "How the fuck are ya?" Carlos asked. "Fine, I need 2 six packs", I said. "Aren't you a little too young to be drinking?" Raiden asked. "Not beer sir, 2 six packs of Vanilla Coke", I said. "Oh, that's different" JLH said. Carlos got it for me. "Thank you", I said. Jack Slate walks in. "What the Fuck is taking so damn long?" he asked. "Chill the fuck out hombre", Inuyasha said. "Don't fucking "hombre" me, get in the goddamn car", Jack said, rather pissed. The 5 left and Jack focused his attention on me. "You're Shippo Ryman, my daughter seems to like you, and I trust you won't upset her, right?" he said. "Yes sir", I said. Jack nodded his head and left. I went to the store owner, Chris Redfield. "Those 5 idiots, how the fuck did one of them end up a teacher?" Chris asked himself. I cleared my throat. "Sorry, I'll take the money, here's the 2 six packs, Jesus Christ I need a vacation", Chris said. I left with the 2 six packs. On the way back to my house, I ran across Ronnie & Chiyo. "It's you", Ronnie said. I started running. He caught me and attacked me. Then he locked me in an armbar. He was bending my arm the wrong way until it broke. I let out a loud cry of pain. Someone opened their door; it was Paul's friend, Maccer. "What the bloody hell's going on?" he asked, then saw Ronnie attacking me. "Get the fuck off him!" he yelled. Ronnie ran off. Maccer checked my arm. "Jesus Christ it's broken", Maccer said, he called an ambulance.

I spent the next night in the hospital. I woke up to see my friends, their family and my family in my room. "He's awake, Shippo, how's your arm?" Kevin asked. He touched it and I screamed. "Don't touch his arm you fucking idiot", Maccer said. "Who did this to you?" Jack asked. "Ronnie King", I said. "Goddammit that kid takes after his fucking father", Kevin yelled. "We caught them Kevin, they are at the Police station", Jack said. "I'm gonna kill those motherfuckers", Kevin said. "Kevin, chill the fuck out", Jack said. "HOW CAN I FUCKIN' CHILL! MY NEPHEW HAS A BROKEN ARM, ALL BECAUSE OF THOSE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PRICKS!" Kevin yelled. "Kevin, please relax", Sango said. Uncle Kevin was still pissed, but began relaxing. Doctor George Hamilton came in. "Visiting time is over, time to leave", he said. Everyone left. Kagome came to me. "Get better, ok?" She said. Then gave me a kiss on the cheek, Rin came, to me and kissed my lips, Satsuki kissed my forehead. "You'll be in that cast for awhile", Dr George said. I nodded. "Get some sleep, soon you'll go home", Dr George said. "I feel so weak and helpless, especially since I'm so small", I said. "Don't feel that way", Dr. George said. I fell asleep. When I woke up, Kevin was standing by me. "George told me what you were thinking, so I brought some people over. Standing behind him was The WWE World Heavyweight Campion, Rey Mysterio, and the WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Gregory Helms. "Oh my God", I said. "Hey kid, we heard about what happened, we're really sorry", Rey said. "Yeah, you shouldn't get picked on just because you're small", Gregory said. "See Shippo, there are other small people", Rey is the smallest and lightest World Heavyweight Champion, Gregory is the champion of the Cruiserweights, though he's not necessarily small", Kevin said. "Don't let people bring you down amigo", Rey said. "I won't", I said. "Well let's go Shippo", Kevin said. We left the hospital.

We didn't go home; first we went to the Police Station. David, Alyssa, Ronnie, Billy & Chiyo were there. Some cops were yelling at them, til finally Sango goes to them. "Kon-ich-ih-wa", David mocked. "You asshole, do you know what your son did to my nephew?" Sango asked. "Duh, he broke his fuckin' arm", David said. "Yeah, you retarded, wait, she's not the retard, Jack Slate's daughter is", Billy said. "You goddamn bastard", Jack said. "Billy, why are you like this?" Rebecca asked. "That's life baby", Billy said. "You couldn't handle your man being gangsta, but I could", Alyssa said. "What the hell do we do now?" Sango asked. "I have a solution", Gregory said. "What is it?" Kevin said. "If you really want to settle this, go to the WWE event and settle it in the ring", Gregory said. "I'm sure Mr. McMahon will allow you to", Rey said. "Fine, me, Jack, Raiden & Rebecca against you hoodlums", Kevin said. "What, a handicap match?" David asked. "Now you'll know what it's like to be handicap", Kevin said. "Bullshit, you gotta let us find a partner", David said. "Fine, you have til the match, which is tomorrow", Kevin said. "And the match ain't gonna be booked, real wrestling", Kevin said. "I have a question, if wrestling's fake, why do wrestlers get hurt?" Satsuki asked. "The moves are still dangerous, if we mess up a move, we're fucked, and that happened a lot", Rey said. How exciting, my uncle, future father-in-law, math teacher and Rebecca against the gangstas of da hood.

It was time for wrestling, everyone was stoked. Our match was the opening match. The referee was Arnold Schwarzenegger, the only man who would dare referee this match. Kevin came to the ring first in Eminem's White America. "What a match we have tonight, hometown civilians fighting in a match", Michael Cole said. "No kidding Cole, this should be interesting", Tazz said. David came out to Alice Cooper's No More Mr. Nice Guy. "These people are thugs, like I was", Tazz said. "Also horrible people, I hear their kids are just as bad", Michael Cole said. David was without a 4th partner. Kevin was taunting David until 50 Cent's Outta Control started playing. It was there old friend Jim Chapman. He's back. The match began. This was a No Holds Barred match. It was bloody as hell. Everyone beat the hell out of each other. Everyone was bleeding except David. Soon everybody was knocked out except for David and barely Kevin. David was closing in with a chair, when Kevin kicked the chair to David's head and caused him to don the proverbial crimson mask. David was down, so Kevin covered him for the one, two, three! Kevin won the match, hooray! Kevin was walking happily and bloody around the ring. Soon another entrance music played. It was the World Tag Team champions, the Spirit Squad; Kenny, Johnny, Mitch, Nicky & Mikey. They started rhyming. "What a match, straight from hell, surely a story to your kids you'll tell, all for pride, which is sacred, no one does it better than they did, all for him, little Shippo Ryman, you should know kid, your uncle's the man", they said. "Cole, what the hell was that?" Tazz asked. The Squad left while Rey & Greg came. "This was a great match", Rey said. "Damn straight", Gregory said. David and the others stood up. He went to Kevin, then put his hand out. Kevin was unsure about this, but he shook David's hand. It was a truce. Jim came. "I couldn't watch my best friend get his ass kicked", Jim said. David laughed and they embraced in a hug.

We saw the rest of the event, it was pretty damn good. We all headed to my house. There, our lives took a turn. Ronnie & Chiyo were at the party. "Ronnie, Chiyo, do you have something you would want to say to Shippo?" Jim asked. "Fine, I'm sorry I kicked your ass and broke your arm", Ronnie said. "I'm sorry I sexually seduced you and gave you head", Chiyo said. "All Right", Shippo said. "That was simple", Chiyo said. "Shippo is very forgiving", Kevin said. "Billy, if you stop your gangster ways, maybe we can get back together, for our daughter's sake", Rebecca said. "She has a point", Kevin said. "Fine, your right", Billy said. "We need a remarriage", David said. "I'm so glad everything worked out for the best", Sango said. "I heard you're going out with someone sis", Kevin said. "Yeah, his name is Miroku, he seems nice", Sango said. "I'm glad we can live happily ever after, right Inuyasha?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha is drunk, talking with his friends. Cindy shows. "Don't worry, they're funny when their drunk, like Kevin", she said. Well that's all, my life is good again, right Arnold? Cue to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hell yeah, Hasta La Vista baby.

Characters

Inuyasha Kagome Rin Sesshomaru Carlos Olivera Sango MirokuYusuke

Kent Paul Maccer

Seto Kaiba Mokuba Kaiba

Alyssa Ashcroft

David King Jim Chapman Sota HitomiWolverineJames

Mizuki & Shippo

Johnny StormJack SlateCindy LennoxKevin Ryman

Solid SnakeMugen

Gabriel LoganChris Redfield

Rey MysterioGregory Helms

Michael ColeTazz

Spirit Squad (left to right): Mitch, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky, KennyRebecca ChambersYoko Suzuki

Arnold SchwarzeneggerSatsuki

Ronnie & Chiyo

George HamiltonBilly Coen Raiden Vanilla Coke