"新的生路还很多，我必须跨进去，因为我还活着。但我还不知道怎样跨出那第一步。有时，仿佛看见那生路就像一条灰白的长蛇，自己蜿蜒地向我奔来，我等着，等着，看看临近，但忽然便消失在黑暗里了"

"There are still many ways to survive, and I must step in because I am still alive. But I don't know how to take the first step. Sometimes, that path of survival looks like a long ash-colored snake meandering towards me. I wait, and wait, watching it approach, yet in an instant it melts into the darkness."

- Lu Xun

CHAPTER ONE: GASHINA

Wind pounds on my face as I stand at the back of the boat, cold and brisk with the winter air of the North Pacific. The ocean spans in front of me, a pale blue in the bright midday sunlight, and spray flies past my face. I'm shivering, gloves clutching the railing as I squint into the distance, looking desperately for any form of land. However, it evades me.

I don't know where we are exactly, right now. Sure, I'm on the ferry that's been taking me to South Korea for the past three days, but I'm not sure where it is in the ocean at this exact moment.

The captain's voice had come on the speakers this morning and told us that we were on route to South Korea. That we'd be able to disembark tonight, as planned before the trip. There was an air of excitement at breakfast after the news, my friend Addy and I had talked excitedly about it between bites of cereal

"I bet Marie's already thinking about gym strategies," he had said, "tryin' to a little overachiever and beat two leagues in six months. Just like her dad!"

He was smiling brightly, dressed in a bright red hoodie, His buneary, Adele, was resting in his dark hands and glared at me threateningly.

"Eeeh," I had gestured, as my clefairy Jessica screamed loudly and reached towards Adele, "I don't think I'm going that far. Like, what if I burn out?"

Addy nodded, but I noticed Sarah, a pale, practically stick-thin girl rolling her eyes at me. I raised my eyebrows, then shook my head. No use. I already knew that she wasn't fond of me at all, because of my father. It was better to just ignore it.

"So what are you going to do then?" Akira, a boy about two years younger than me, said, as I wrangled Jessica back, "instead of battling the gyms?"

"Probably just alternate between training and resting… I've always wanted to see Seoul. And, we haven't gotten together in a while! We should just have a day to ourselves, touring around the city… I think that'll be nice."

"Oh really? No TV appearances?" Addy smiled, nudging my shoulders.

"Oh, no, no, no… I.. uh, don't really like the attention. At all, actually."

Addy started to laugh hysterically, his shoulders shaking.

"Better get used to it, Wonder Girl!"

I had rolled my eyes with a smile at the comment and left for my sleeping compartments to feed my pokemon breakfast.

Wonder Girl… The nickname's been rubbing me the wrong way ever since this morning.

I'm really no different from any other starting trainer if you discount my father's presence in my life. I have no real savant-esque talent in pokemon training. I just understand them decently, and even then, I make mistakes. I think Addy knows this, but I just worry sometimes that he thinks that he's in my shadow.

I hate living with the expectations of a group of people on me. That I'm going to be the exact copy of my championship-winning father. It's been following me since childhood, a massive cloud of inflexible goals and people's wishes for me. It's preventing me from being a normal trainer, forcing me into becoming the absolute Perfect Trainer, who will win the Chinese League with ease.

There are tons of people better than I am. Akira beat me fair and square with his dewpider, Addy could probably do the same as well. He's the one with actual talent. I'm just run of the mill mediocre.

I shake my head. The late-January cold is making me gradually lose my mind. I'm overthinking things once again, nothing is seriously that complicated. It's just a compliment, nothing malicious meant for me.

So, I walk back inside, making sure I'm holding onto some sort of railing or wall so I don't lose my balance as I climb into the dark red hallway. I slowly make my way through the boat, stray waves sometimes bouncing me from wall to wall with a thump.

Finally, I manage to hobble towards the wooden door of my cabin, pulling it open, and flopping onto my dark bed. As I rest my head, slowly taking off my long black parka, I hear the waves splashing against the hull of the boat. Looking over, I see Jessica fast asleep on her bed, snoring ever so softly. I smile a little at the sight of the clefairy sprawling out on her little bed, mouth hanging open.

Jessica isn't my only pokemon, of course. I have a tepig and a nidorina at home, but I can't exactly bring them on the boat with me.

It was due to space issues, Mr. Moreau, our supervisor, said. We could only bring one pokemon with us, and the rest would reach us after the trip by using GTS services in either South Korea or China. Everyone else was pissed when they heard about it, but I understood. If we brought all of our pokemon, the boat would've probably tipped over at this point. Like, pokeballs exist, but there's always been a two-day limit for pokemon to be in there, or they start to suffer adverse effects. They'd have to be taken out.

And while I love Nina and Luhan a lot, I couldn't have brought anyone but Jessica with me. The two of them can actually function while being apart from me. While Jessica...

I rub the bridge of my nose. I'm not going to think about that. That'll just bring bitter emotions to the surface, or whatever. So I just look at her and smile, reaching a hand over to her pink belly, and I tickle it softly. She squirms in her sleep, placing her arms on her belly, and making a little squeaking noise.

I giggle, before rolling over onto my side. Grabbing my phone, I flip through my Twitter feed, looking at pictures of pokemon being cute before my eyes start to droop. I try to remain partially awake, so I won't miss dinner and deployment, but in a matter of minutes, I fall asleep.

I snap awake an hour later to Jessica slapping my face, and screw up my face at her. She's standing over me, frowning, and says something in her toddler-like babbling.

"Jessica, you know I have no idea what the fuck you're saying, right?"

She starts babbling louder, gesturing towards the door. I groan, and sit up, feeling my bones creak as I wobble towards the door. Pulling it open, I see the slumping form of Sarah, who is staring at me underneath her bangs.

"Mr. Moreau told me to get you," she says bluntly, her voice tight with irritation, "it's time."

"Oh. Thank yo…" I say slowly, before she abruptly slams the door in my face.

Alright…

I groan, reaching over and gathering all my things together from my bedside. There are my 3DS, my new copy of The Shining, an anthology of Far Side cartoons, some Aero bars for snacking, pokeballs… All that good stuff. I also grab my blue suitcase, which has most of my clothes, a pillow, some hand warmers, and my sleeping bag.

The sleeping bag is a precaution, even if I manage to hit the coast close to Seoul, it's another good day or so of walking my ass off until I reach the actual city. I will, most likely, have to sleep on the path to Seoul, and I don't have enough money to rent a motel. It's a pain, but life would be saccharine nonsense without any suffering. Makes it worthwhile or whatever.

Yeah, that's it. That's something my therapist would agree with.

I gather all of my stuff together, putting it in my massive black backpack. Jessica is standing on the bed, staring at me with wide eyes as I sling the bag on my shoulders. A light comes over her face as if she realizes what's going to happen, and she squeals loudly. With a running start, she jumps and floats into my arms.

"Ready to get off of this boat?" I laugh, and she squeals in response, "I'm ready, too."

With that, I walk over to the cabin door and take one last look at my living space. I'm not going to see it until June, when we go back to Victoria after the championship. I look it over, a dark brown, practically empty room. There's coarse green carpeting on the floor, sort of a turf-like texture, and there's a porthole in the center of the back wall, but other than that, nothing.

So, I walk outside and shut the door. The boat's sitting still in the water, so the waves don't rock the boat as bad as before. I'm actually able to walk, instead of hobbling awkwardly down the hallways, admiring everything for the last time.

Halfway down towards the bottom of the boat, I run into Addy, who is hauling a massive suitcase down the metallic stairs. It makes a loud clang every time it goes down a step, and Jessica yowls in anger each time, trying to free herself from my arms.

"Hey-o," I smile lopsidedly, "This starting to feel real to you?"

Addy smiles weakly at me, his hands visibly trembling.

"You know it, man."

"It still doesn't feel like it for me," I say, rubbing my nose with my thumb, "maybe I'll realize it when I get on the boat…"

He laughs but says nothing more. He's focusing more on making sure his trunk makes it down without falling down the stairs and destroying everything inside. Which is fair.

The two of us make it down with our luggage safe, with Jessica napping now, head against my chest. The room we're in now is suffocatingly small, even for only having five people in it. Most of the space in here is taken up by the four metal fishing boats in the center, and the whole room reeks of sea salt. Which makes sense, since, towards the back, the boat opens up towards the glittering ocean. I can hear the crash of the Yellow Sea hitting the boat, louder now.

Mr. Moreau stands in front of the two other trainers towards the end of the room, just before the water. He's a tall, gangly man, with greying hair and always wearing a turtleneck of some sort.

"Marie, put Jessica away," he scolds, and I feel shame bubble in my throat, "it'll be dangerous keeping her out on the ocean."

I nod firmly but feel Sarah smirking at me as I fumble for my pokeball, retrieving Jessica with a click, and put her back in my bag. He nods back at me, mouth in a thin line.

"We're all here now, so let us begin. You have all had at least four months of training on how to handle these boats, correct?"

We all nod.

I hated those stupid fucking training sessions. I had to do them because Mr. Moreau wouldn't take me any other way.

"It's tradition," he said when I told him I had no idea how to operate a boat, glaring at me, "the first trainers from Victoria did their journeys by boat, and while we can't exactly do the whole thing by boat anymore, we'll still do the first half that way."

"I'm not going to break tradition just because you don't know how to boat, Marie. If you have a problem with it, be a delegate of Vancouver or Nanaimo."

Normally, I would've taken him up on that offer. Vancouver and Nanaimo probably would've loved to have me, Marie Guangyu Jones, the "potential legendary trainer", well, until they discovered that I wasn't as good as they thought. However, I knew that Addy was already going as a delegate of Victoria. He'd insisted that we'd be together, and I didn't want to be separated from my friend to join a group full of kids who didn't know me, who hadn't been my friend since childhood, and who would've probably not cared that much for me.

So I'd wake up at six in the morning, and force myself to take the ferry to Vancouver instead of playing hooky. It was an hour and a half in good weather, but I could wait longer if it was delayed. And that happened at least five times for me. I just gritted my teeth, sitting at the ferry stop, thinking about how much fun Addy and I would have in Seoul.

Then, I'd have to do five hours of boating on the ocean, which was incredibly dangerous, even in August. All I thought about while whipping around on my little metal boat, hot summer sun beating down on me, was that crash from a few years ago. A freak wave had hit a wailord-watching boat full of tourists, off the coast of Vancouver Island, and the whole thing capsized into the ocean. By the time a fishing boat got to the wreck, five people had died from hypothermia due to the water. They'd tried to use their pokemon, an altaria and a... noivern (I think?) to fly them out of the water, but they succumbed as well.

"That's why you've got to be careful out on the sea," my father had said to me, the television screen reflected in his glasses, "the water out by us is so cold, it can kill you in mere minutes. Even in the summertime."

Even though I struggled with my boat multiple times, and was consistently the one person who needed the most instruction from my group of fifteen students, I managed to pull through. I passed my boating qualification test, and I was allowed to join the delegate group from Victoria. Addy was happy, and I was too.

Mr. Moreau briefly refreshes us for the thirtieth time on boating stuff, how long we'll have to boat for (six hours at the most) and how to legally enter the country. I almost fall asleep standing up. However, after a few pinches to keep awake, he moves on.

"The weather tonight is supposed to be clear, with no signs of possible severe winds or precipitation."

That's nice, I think to myself, hopefully I won't have too much trouble moving my boat around in the water. Don't want to go too off course, especially in an area like this.

And also, that was another issue I had with the boating thing. Mr. Moreau wanted us to boat to South Korea, and somehow, he'd gotten this idea approved by both the Canadian and South Korean governments. I'd taken Korean in high school, so I knew that Seoul was only about fifty-six kilometers away from the Demilitarized Zone. That wasn't really far, only about an hour away or so.

Still, I listen on.

"I want each and every one of you to be on your best behavior in South Korea. You are all not just representing Victoria, but the entirety of Canada itself. I don't want to hear about any of you getting into trouble, and having the police getting involved."

I nod again, itching at my knuckles.

"Also, if any of you run into trouble, use your flare gun as soon as possible. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past decade, you know this region is extremely unstable. A powder keg, waiting for a match to light it. Try your best not to be that match, and stay as far south as possible."

He pauses, rubbing his mouth in some sort of tic.

"Alright, I think I've yammered on long enough," he sighs, looking over at his watch, "Let's get moving."

With that, he guides us to our individual boats. I put my bag in and tie it down, under the tarp made of some sort of tough tan fabric. I manage to slide it into the Yellow Sea waters, and gingerly step inside. My nerves are buzzing around in my stomach, the realization that I'm putting my life on the line for my journey. If this boat capsizes, I'm done.

While I steady myself on it, I look over to my right, where Addy is practically lounging on his boat, more comfortable on that thing than I'll ever be. My lips quirk up into a smile, and I wave at him. He responds in kind, and I open my mouth to say something, but at that moment, Mr. Moreau suddenly pushes me out to sea.

"Not even gonna let me say goodbye to Addy, huh?" I mutter bitterly to myself, "fine, then."

There's only an hour or two left of visibility, I think to myself, as I start up the motor. I glance wistfully back at the boat as the currents move me farther away. I shake my head, as the motor sputters to life, and with a lurch, I'm quickly on the move.

About an hour into the boat ride, my anxiety is mostly gone. Replacing it is excitement and adrenaline, my messy ponytail whipping against my neck as my boat flies forward. I swear that I see a school of finneon pass me by, their pink stripes standing out in the ocean.

"Your lips, no no no, your eyes, no no no," I sing in Korean, a grin on my face, "from head to toe, you know you can't den…"

I cut myself off after feeling something wet hit my eyelid. At first, I just think it's spray from the motor, but as I focus, I can see dark clouds moving in, and snow starting to drift down from the sky.

"No precipitation, my ass!" I shout over the motor, to no one in particular, "what a fuckin' joke!"

Still, I think nothing of the sudden snowfall. It's January. Snow tends to fall in January, especially in Northern Asia. And it's just flurries, no big deal! It'll just pass over quickly, and I'll be on my way.

Well, it doesn't pass. In fact, it starts coming down real fuckin' hard. And then the wind starts up with it, and then suddenly, I'm boating through a massive snowstorm.

What the hell happened to clear weather?

After a few minutes of boating through a blizzard, I kill the motor. It's no use, I can't see shit. If I keep going in this, I'll more than likely crash into land and die. So, I dive under the tarp and fumble around in the emergency box for a flare gun. I find it after a few moments, a bright red little pistol, and I load a round into it.

Uncle Rich's shooting lesson seven years ago didn't end up being pointless after all, I smile to myself.

I stand up and fire the gun. It makes a loud popping noise and I hear a clink as the metal round lands in the boat. I look up to see the red light flash above me and fade out softly. After about ten minutes, I fire another round, watch it crackle, and wait again.

I groan, sitting back down. Mr. Moreau better get me before exposure comes first. I turn my head to look down at the water for a second and looking back up before my eyes widen, and I look back into the water.

Something massive is under the waves by the end of my boat, spreading as far as the eye can see. To my best calculation, it's about the size of a Boeing 747. It's bright white in color, but I also swear I see some sort of dark blue scales on its back. Its coloring is almost like a dewgong's, but it's way too big to be one. They're usually about the size of an average Zodiac dinghy, maybe smaller. Not this massive. It looks like some sort of… whale or dragon or… bird even, and it looks like it's moving towards the surface, about to breach.

Wait…

Fuck! I scramble, lifting up my motor, and tying the tarp down to the hull. I hunch down over my bag, face first so I don't slam my head back into the hull and die of blunt force trauma.

I've seen the waves after a wailord breach, how they displace water and force boats away. But they're only sixteen meters long where I live! This thing is much larger, about seventy meters long, so the water displacement would be massive… And I'm practically under it, so...

Fuck.

I'm fucked. I'm so fucked.

What the did I do wrong to die like this? I've always been nice to people, trying my best not to get on people's nerves… What was it? What?

God, Jesus, any deity listening, please have mercy, forgive me, and let me live… How does the Hail Mary go again? Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee... blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death…!

With that, I hear something that sounds like a pokemon roaring, water crashing against something, and then I feel my boat fly up into the air. My stomach drops as it sails for what feels like a few meters as I clutch onto the metal seat to prevent myself from falling into the frigid ocean. I feel my legs lift in the air with the boat, almost like some sort of disturbing amusement park ride. Well hey, I think to myself, as I fall, at least it's looking like I'll land bottom first. That's a start…

Then the boat slams back into the water, and I lurch with it. I'm able to catch myself before I do any injuries to my head, but my knees throb in agony, and I scream the loudest I have in a while. For a long time, I just lay there, clutching my knees and grimacing. I don't think it's anything too serious, but they're definitely bruising really bad. Dammit.

I'm never boating again, I decide, as I pull the tarp up and look around, this is the last time I pilot one of these things. It's freezing and still snowing really hard, the wind blowing me northward. I'm probably off-course by now. However, I can actually see what's in front of me, which is just water, but that's a start in the right direction.

I decide to unfold the motor again, and boat to the southeast. I'm jittery with that 'just-survived-something-that-probably-should-have-killed-me" brand of adrenaline, my hands shaking violently, and I just know I'm gonna end up passing out from exhaustion in an hour or so. I need to get on land before that happens.

Thankfully, within that hour, I manage to spot some sort of natural beach, full of trees and plant life, which doesn't look like anyone's private property. Bingo.

I kill the motor, fold it up, and pull out two wooden paddles from the bottom. With some arm work, I manage to push my boat onto land. I step out, tie a bit of rope to the bow, and pull my boat onto shore. I stop moving it up the beach at about a half meter, as far from the ocean as I can lug the hunk of metal. Sure enough, exhaustion begins to set in, and I crawl back into the boat. I pull the tarp over my head and grab some hand warmers, a pillow and my black sleeping bag from my suitcase.

I slip into my sleeping bag and stuff some hand warmers in there, so I don't freeze. I rub the base of my nose and groan.

Well, I didn't die! That's better than nothing… Sure, I'm having a shit day and all, but tomorrow, I'll wake up, and set out for Seoul… And when I get there, I'm gonna sleep for forty days straight in a warm, comfortable bed. Well, not forty, but still.

I'm gonna rest every day that I'm in Seoul, I think to myself, as I fall asleep, no strain, nothing super hard.

It wasn't until morning, until I learned how wrong I was.