Disclaimer: I don't own Batman.
Batman had just finished rounding up the last of the gang he had just stopped, and Commissioner Gordon was there as well.
"Batman, I don't know what we would do without you," he said.
"Neither do I, Jim." Batman said under his breath.
"What?" Gordon asked.
"Nothing. The Joker has escaped from Arkham again, correct?" Batman asked, taking a playing card out of his utility belt and showing it off.
"Yes. His girlfriend, Harley Quinn, also escaped," Gordon answered. Having heard a gunshot in the distance, he turned his back for a second. "Great. More trouble. Do you have any idea of where they could be hiding?" As he turned back to face the Dark Knight, he saw that Batman was now gone.
In the comfort of his latest hideout, Joker was preparing something dastardly underneath a white bed sheet; however, his concentration was soon shot, as Harley trounced into the room.
"What are you doing puddin'?" she asked.
The unexpected company of Harley Quinn caused Joker to abruptly stand up, smacking the top of his cranium on a metal beam that was attached to his latest invention. "Oh!" he groaned.
Seconds later, the clown prince of crime emerged from under the sheet, his eyes bloodshot. "I'm making something, Harley! What does it look like?"
"Ooh! Can I help, Mistah J?" Harley asked.
"No!" Joker yelled.
"You know what would be cool? If you painted mean eyes on it!" Harley suggested.
"Too Two-Face. No!" Joker critiqued, picking up the sheet, going underneath, and returning to his work.
"How about a giant skunk that shoots missiles out of its nostrils and needle hairs out of its back?" Harley suggested.
Joker came out from underneath the sheet and grabbed Harley by the neck. "No! Do you not not know what 'no' means?" Joker screamed in her face.
"Yes, I know what 'no' means, Mistah J!" Harley said, trying to back away from the enraged mad man.
"Oh, okie-dokie then!" Joker squeaked, his mood suddenly brightening up.
Realizing that her beloved was not going to hurt her, Harley smiled and sighed.
"Get out of here, you bubble-headed idiot!" Joker yelled, and shoved her out of the nearby window.
As she fell, Harley screamed her lungs out, but then remembered that she had a balloon in her pocket. She took it out and blew into it and it made a giant Whoopie Cushion. Harley was still screaming, but during a moment of peace, she put the Whoopie cushion between her legs.
The fall was incredible. Except for the fact that Harley had not gone splat, as the Joker had intended.
"Pushed around by a psycho clown again, huh, Quinn?" Batman said, emerging from the shadows.
"B-batman! Where did you come from?" Harley screamed, and took out her trademark capgun.
"Put that down before you hurt yourself, Quinn." Batman demanded and threw a Batorang at her hand.
"Ouch!" She yelled, as the capgun went flying into an unseen location. Harley rubbed her sore hand, but Batman was already becoming impatient.
"Where's the Joker!" Batman asked and slammed her against the wall by her brittle shoulders. "You have no reason to protect him anymore, Quinn. All he does is abuse you and force you to take the fall for him... this time, literally."
"H-he's... he's on the top floor!" Harley revealed.
Having gotten the information that he wanted, Batman dropped Harley and walked away.
Realizing that Batman was her ticket back into Joker's good graces, Harley took out a wooden mallet and whacked Batman before he could stop her.
A while later, When Batman came to, he was in the repair shop at the top floor with the Joker and Harley.
"So, Batman, I'm glad you could make it! But it seems you are a bit tied up right now! Ha ha ha ha!" Joker cackled evilly.
"W-what are you doing, Joker?" Batman questioned, still woozy from being hit so hard in the head.
"Ooh, I'm glad that you asked; I thought you never would! Since you're going to be my test subject, I see no reason not to tell you my plan. I'm going to take this little laser and blow a hole in Gotham City!" Joker yelled and laughed evilly.
With a toothy grin, Harley threw the sheet off the Joker's machine and revealed it to be a large laser gun.
Coming to terms with Joker's insanity and what the deluded freak intended to do, Batman's eyes narrowed.
"But you won't be around long enough to witness this, Batsy!" Joker assured.
From out of the darkness, two big strong men wearing black jackets and clown masks walked up to Batman with pistols.
"Wait! Before I go, tell me that those are just bang-guns." Batman said blankly.
"Nope, nope, nope! Sorry, Batsy, they are the real deal," Joker replied and laughed evilly.
Batman was secretly undoing the ropes around his wrists with a Batarang.
"Okay, boys, get ready to kill the Bat!" Harley said and leaned over against the laser gun's control panel.
"Harley, no!" Joker screamed, as Harley sat on the big red self-destruct button.
"Quinn, you fool!" Batman yelled, snapping the remainder of his restraint, he dived in to save her before the laser gun blew her up.
"What are you two idiots doing? I thought I ordered you to kill Batman!" Joker ordered and ran into the fire door.
The two henchmen began to shoot into the thick smoke.
Batman put his hand over Harley's mouth and made her walk out in front of him. "If you shoot me, Quinn gets it!" Batman declared.
The two henchmen looked at each other and smiled. "Joker doesn't want her anymore, anyway!" one of them exclaimed.
They shot anyway, and Batman pushed Harley to the side and tackled one of them. He knocked him out with a fast punch, then threw a knock out gas pellet at the other one's feet.
Leaving Harley behind, Batman followed Joker out the fire door and into the fire escape. Joker was already at the bottom of the stairwell, and to even the odds, Batman leaped down the entire thing and landed flawlessly on his feet.
Joker ran to his red convertible and got inside. He fixed his fuzzy dice on the mirror, and then saw Batman running toward his car.
"I have a strict no hitchhikers rule!" Joker cackled, and drove right through the garage door.
The world's greatest detective was feeling awful. He had lost Joker, but before he could give up, he saw a motorcycle. Batman got on the motorcycle and followed the giggling goon.
"Good thing I got away from gruesome!" Joker spat and began to whistle his own theme song.
Batman pulled up beside Joker and punched him in the jaw. After the initial strike, he boarded the clown's car.
"Ouch! What was that for?" Joker asked weakly and rubbed his aching jaw.
"It's over, Joker. I'm taking you in," Batman said.
"R-right!" Joker chuckled and punched Batman in the stomach, and then in the side of the face. Joker took out his joybuzzer and pushed Batman against the edge of the car. Placing the joybuzzer against Batman's jaw, he began to shock the vigilante to death and laugh madly.
Batman was screaming, as the Joker shocked him. "T-this is my... stop!" Batman said, as he kicked Joker to the side and used his Batgrapple to escape the car.
"Hmph! Where is he off to in such a hurry?" Joker asked, and then saw he that he was heading toward a cliff. Coming to terms with his inevitable death, he laughed madly and then screamed as the car fell over the cliff.
Batman returned back to the Batcave to see that Robin was there waiting there for him.
"Back from your date, I see?" Batman asked, approaching his ward.
"Yes. What happened to the Joker?" Robin asked.
"He was sent tumbling down a cliff. This time, hopefully, the police will find his remains," Batman said, and the credits started to roll.