AN: "Softly As I Leave You" belongs to Frank Sinatra and everything Mass Effect belongs to Bioware. The song makes lovely listening music as you read this.
Softly
I will leave you softly
For my heart would break
If you should wake and see me go
She woke silently and moved without noise. Technically, it was morning, but daylight would not come for a few more hours. That was better for what she needed to do. She dressed mutely, though she did not reach for her dress blues. Those had been for a different event. This was more personal. She didn't own much after everything that had happened, but then again, nobody did. She picked out the darkest clothing she could and put it on silently, looking over to the other half of the bed several times. She saw the same thing every time, but some small part of her continued to look. She did not enjoy what she would have to do, but she had to do it. If she didn't do it now, she would never have the courage she needed.
Once she had dressed, she slipped into the bathroom and waited until the door was shut before turning the lights on. The woman who looked back at her in the mirror seemed older than she should, but ironically as old as she felt as dark circles and a plethora of lines greeted her inspection. She brushed off the thought of sleeping better as she brushed her hair and smoothed over rebellious thoughts of opening the bathroom door as she covered her face with makeup.
So I leave you softly
Long before you miss me
Long before your arms
Can beg me stay
For one more hour
Or one more day
She left the house soon after cleaning up and climbed into her hovercar. Being high in the Alliance ranks had its perks, and a hovercar was one of them. It was true that she had to share it with a few others, but she had arranged to have it last night and this morning. They were in short supply now that the war was over and pedestrian walkways were still littered with debris, making walking far less efficient. She programmed her destination into the car and turned her attention to the buildings and streets around her.
She could see how the walkways had improved over the months since the war's end, as well as how most of the cleanup crews had been clearing out buildings. They said time healed all wounds, and she could only hope that time healed these buildings and the cities of Earth. She thought back to the bed, and how he'd often spoken of his love for the city, and she hoped it would heal for him. He would be glad to see it like this.
As she drove on, she could see a small group of people gathered on a building corner. She slowed the car, and noted that most of them were young. They had spoken of adopting once, before the war. Pregnancy wouldn't suit her well, or so she thought, given everything that had happened. But they both loved reaching out to the youth of Earth. She could picture him with a few kids, teaching them how something worked or reading to them. She could see him comforting one of the young people down there, encouraging them to pick their lives up again.
After all the years
I can't bear the tears to fall
So softly, as I leave you there
The hovercar touched down, and she stepped out. Another woman was waiting for her, just as she had promised. Her companion's normal attire was swapped out for something more muted, and instead of impatiently fidgeting, she was still.
"You didn't have to come all the way over here," she told her companion.
"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that I want to. You've helped me, so I'll help you," the biotic companion stated. She would never admit their friendly respect, but this was close enough. "Everyone is gathering over there."
They walked in silence towards their destination. As she grew closer, she could make out the others. It was a small gathering, and she could make each person out by their soft, star-lit silhouette. There were men and women he had served with on the Tokyo and the Normandy, as well as crew from other ships before that. Major Coats had requested permission to come. Bartus Aurix, now a high-ranking Turian general, wished to join them. When she and her companion walked up, everyone greeted them with tight smiles and stiff movements. After several minutes of stilted conversations, they heard a hovercar, signaling the arrival of the last participants. Everyone turned and either saluted or quietly greeted the new arrivals: Commander Shepard and Miranda Lawson. Bartus stepped away from the group and spoke first.
"When I first met you, I never would have guessed you could make it through the hell that we all went through. I like to think I may have taught you some pointers that helped you to survive as long as you did. But even if I didn't, I'm glad to have met you. May the spirits keep you, and may the Alliance records show your bravery and character." He stepped back, and others began to step forward, offering personal stories and praises from the heart.
Softly
Long before you kiss me
Long before your arms
Can beg me stay
For one more hour
Or one more day
As time went on and the sky brightened, she wasn't sure if this was better than before. She hadn't liked earlier because most of the dignitaries only worked with him in an official capacity. The entire thing was also rushed because of the number of official Alliance burials happening each day. At this point, anyone lower than a major or captain wasn't given an individual burial. There were simply too many dead from war. Finally, it was her turn to speak. She stepped forward with a heavy heart and a dry throat.
"At the end of the war, everyone was in London. I knew you were there, and you said we would see each other again. I got to the FOB as soon as I could, searching wherever I could for you. It wasn't until I spoke with Major Coats that I heard you were dead. For weeks afterwards, it felt like I only saw two types of people: those who were joyfully reunited with loved ones, and those who had been told they would never be reunited. I miss you, David." Kahlee stopped for a moment, her throat closing up until she felt a hand on her back. "I know you went back on your word for the best of reasons." She reached her hand forward, touching his headstone before she turned to the hand's owner. Jack gave a strained half-smile, and Kahlee patted Jack's arm. As they stepped back, other strained smiles greeted her, sharing her grief while knowing that hers was different from theirs. Finally, Shepard stood from her wheelchair and took several steps towards the headstone.
"I met Admiral Anderson several years back as part of the N7 program. With time, he became my mentor and my Captain. I served as his XO, and eventually as his successor on the Normandy. I like to think I did a good enough job on the ship. I couldn't imagine a better Councilor for humanity, even if you didn't like the job. I never gave you an easy job: you had to defend my name when nobody believed me, keep the Council from burying their heads in the sand, keep the Alliance from handing me over to the Batarians, and form a resistance without most of our modern technology. But you did more than most could, and succeeded where it mattered. The Alliance would've been hard-pressed to find a way to take Earth back if there wasn't a strong resistance here on Earth. So thank you." She saluted the grave before finally saying, "I wish you could be here to appreciate the peace. And I am proud to have known you." She gave a quiet sob, and Miranda stepped forward to quickly usher her into the hoverchair.
A tear spilled from Kahlee's eyes as dawn came closer. She knew there would never be another man like David. He was unique in so many ways that if she found a man just like him, she would be suspicious. But she knew he would want her to be strong. He had fought long and hard for this peace, and it would be a shame if she didn't enjoy the fruits of his labor. Dawn broke over London, and Kahlee felt the first ray of peace enter her heart. She would help bring this city back to its glory, and she would enjoy what they had left.
After all the years
I can't bear the tears to fall
So softly, as I leave you there
As I leave you there
As I leave you there!
AN: "Softly As I Leave You" was a song I remember hearing as a young child, but never resonated with me until later in life. I've always felt that the song discusses one person leaving a relationship, either physically or emotionally, and felt inspiration to write about Kahlee and Anderson.
Strangely, I felt like the last few notes of the song were hopeful, and wanted to apply that final hope to more than just Kahlee. I wanted it to be hope for the entire galaxy. Countless good people were lost, each loved and missed by someone. But the hope in rebuilding is stronger than the sense of loss, and everyone has a chance to grow together, stronger than before. In that sense, I wanted Jack and everyone who attended the funeral to be the ones that Kahlee could rebuild with.
Many thanks to my wonderful beta, Jules Hawke, for doing her normal fabulous stuff and making sure I don't completely miss the point that I was trying to make or forget the English language.
Also, I will be getting into my normal territory of AU Shenko very soon! Thanks for the reads and reviews!