I own nothing. Details are left vague, like the planet they're on, Shepard's history for the most part with the exception of some past Thane/Shep, and exactly how this all was possible, but… I like a happy ending. I think most of you do, too. Title taken from lyrics. Ten points to anyone that can tell me from what without looking it up.
Sea of Silent Hope
The morning waves were tumultuous that day, crashing against the shore with abject violence. Evelyn Shepard pondered this, her own turmoil interlocking neatly with the day's atmosphere—there's was never a shortage of these coincidences when it came to her. Clouds loomed ahead, charcoal grey and groaning distantly.
"Eve?" The raspy, masculine voice was followed by the sound of bare footsteps shuffling against wood. The gait was not quite steady, instead tired and slightly uneven, hinting at a limp.
She turned to see Kaidan standing on the deck of the rented beach house behind her, his eyes locking intently on hers. He was mussed, shirtless. Beautiful. Resigned, she also noted. They both knew he worried for her, as she did for him. Post-traumatic stress disorder had never been so common a phrase until these last weeks.
"I'm alright, Kaidan. Just thinking." She offered a half-hearted smile and turned her moss green eyes back out to shore.
"It's not a mistake, Shepard," he sighed, voice as weary as she felt. "Everyone understands. How could they not?"
Her head ducked, no longer seeing the breathtaking scenery around her. This was a stale discussion. Somehow it managed to come up nearly every day, however.
"I should be helping them," she muttered lowly, bending down to cross her arms over the wooden banister. She swept a hand through her short blond hair, instinctually assessing and determining that she was overdue for a haircut. Any longer would be impractical under the helmet.
Not that she'd made any damn effort to pick it up lately. She breathed hard out her nose.
"Stop that." His voice was closer now. She felt his hand gently touch her back through the black N7 hoodie. "You just saved the whole goddamn galaxy. Taking some time off before jumping back in to sift through all the wreckage is reasonable. Hell, it's expected."
"Is it?" she countered, no fight in her tone. "I'm Commander-goddamn-Shepard. Unstoppable, unshakable, unkillable…" She was shaking her head. "I'm sure the rumors have elevated to wondering if I'm really just an AI."
"Well, you do have some of those neat metal parts, so… cyborg, maybe."
The quip was unexpected and a laugh bubbled up before she could stop it. "Wow. You've clearly been hanging out with Joker too long."
She watched him lean in from the corner of her eye to place a kiss on her cheek. "You'd be amazed at my own brand of humor when the fate of our race isn't being threatened."
The nod was automatic and subtle. "I'm already pretty amazed."
"Then I'm doin' something right," he murmured, shifting to stand behind her and pull her back against him, arms binding her waist.
Her eyes lifted back out to the shore. The storm was fractionally closer now.
"How much of this could have been avoided?"
"What?" His chin came to rest upon her shoulder, lips grazing her ear.
"Everyone we lost," she whispered, almost inaudible against the increasing wind.
Kaidan sighed against her neck. "Shep—"
"I'm not saying that I screwed up or didn't try," she cut him off. "I did try. I tried like hell. But… is it completely unreasonable for me to wonder what could have been done differently? Just one minute, one word… something could have been all the difference. Some of them could still be here. Ash, Mordin, Legion…"
"Thane," he finished for her. There was no real jealousy there. They'd gotten past it. She'd loved the drell, and he could accept it. He hadn't exactly given her reason to stay utterly faithful when she'd come back. "It wasn't the war that killed him, though. Not really. You know that."
Agreement didn't come easily to her. She'd seen the file in the Shadow Broker's records. Thane had been eligible for a transplant but had refused it. They had only talked about it once after her discovery of this, and though he had admitted that he'd have reconsidered on account of their relationship, he had believed it too late and the mission too important to sacrifice so much time. After a while, she'd reluctantly acquiesced. It was his wish, and she wouldn't spend what might be his last weeks or months angry with him over it. He'd had his reasons.
"Maybe not. In a strange way, I guess it was better knowing that he wouldn't have much time to begin with, but it didn't make it much easier once the time came." She took his silence and the gentle kiss he place on her shoulder as empathic understanding. "But the others…"
"They gave their lives to save everyone else, Eve. The same thing that you were ready to do. Don't invalidate their sacrifices with 'what if's. They loved their people and their friends, and you. I know you wouldn't like anyone questioning that if you'd gone, too."
She tried to steel herself against the trembling in her lips.
"We all cared about them, babe," he continued, pulling her tighter against him. "They'll be missed and remembered. But there's beauty and honor in all of it, in the choices they made. Try to let yourself see that. It's okay to be sad, but don't pick it apart. Let their memories be peaceful, Eve. Let them have the honor in what they did. Let them rest."
When she could finally muster words through the thickness in her throat and the tears that stung her eyes, she nodded and wrapped her arms over his, careful of her healing burns, locking them in place. "Yep. You continue to amaze me."
"It's what I'm good at."
"I love you," she uttered, tilting her head to touch her forehead against his.
"I love you," he returned. "And I had an idea."
A blond eyebrow lifted slowly.
"I was gonna tell you this before we said goodbye and nearly died, but I wasn't sure if you'd deck me for it, considering the circumstances."
She blinked, waiting.
"Marry me, Shepard."
She instantly twisted in his arms and stared at him, green eyes bright and piercing, still rimmed with red. Her voice was thin, uncertain, but no surprise was evident. "Kaidan…"
"Come on, Evie. After all we've been through, after everything we've seen and done together… do you ever really think that either of us can have the same kind of emotional intimacy that you and I have with anyone else? Would anyone—anything— else ever measure up?" He paused to bring an arm from her waist and sweep a tendril of hair from her eyes, but pressed on before she could object, a smirk dancing on his lips. "You can't forge this kind of connection with a few dates and some hard liquor… nevermind if Vega wouldn't agree. We've got some serious shit under our belts, Eve. The kind of experience that only a handful of us is ever really afforded."
She couldn't deny, to her own surprise, that it was a rather compelling argument. "It does almost seem like after everything… it was sort of leading up to this, wasn't it?"
"Exactly," he replied, inching forward until his lips were merely centimeters from hers. "Like this is how it's supposed to be. This is what's been coming together all this time. If nothing else in this universe makes sense in all the rubble and ruin, at least we do."
With a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips, she nodded. "Then I'm game."
The grin that slowly broke over his face was bright and lit up the darkened sky. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Let's get married."
His face was beaming. "We'll do it on the Normandy. Fraternization regs be damned. No one will protest after all we've done. We're Spectres, anyway."
She laughed as a fresh pool of tears formed in her eyes and spilled over. Of course. No place would be more appropriate—it was the closest she could get to everyone she'd loved so dearly, even those lost. They'd be with her there.
"On the Normandy," she agreed fiercely, voice breaking.
"As soon as EDI and Anderson clear her, we'll do it. I'm sure everyone will show up, even if just to see you in a dress. And—"
"A dress?" She interrupted, trying to blink away tears. "No way, I was just gonna wear my dress blues."
He grasped her chin and gently held her gaze to his. "A dress. Doesn't have to be big and white and god awful, but… wear somethin' nice for me?"
Those sincere chocolate eyes completely melted her will. Her reply was defeated. "Fine."
Apparently satisfied, he continued with a smile and iron in his voice. "Then, once we have a nice, non-chaotic honeymoon, we'll get our asses back in our uniforms and go help clean up the mess, wherever they need us. Deal?"
How she loved this man. "Deal."
His lips fastened to hers to seal their pact, and she returned the kiss in equal measure. She'd loved Thane, but he'd be happy for her. For them. He'd tell her that he'd served his purpose in her life, and destiny unfolded the way it was meant to. This was her path, and he'd helped to lead her here.
Slowly pulling away, she considered Kaidan for a moment, dwelling over his confession that he'd nearly asked her before they'd said goodbye. "You never really thought we were going to fail, did you?"
His eyes lowered, and his smile was sad. "You know I was scared. I told you as much. Part of me thought we'd never live to see another day. "
The tone of his voice implied there was more to that statement. "But…?"
"But of everyone I know…" he trailed off, searching for the right words before meeting her gaze again. "If anyone could pull it off, you could. And you'd earned my trust. I owed it to you to believe in you. I just knew… somehow… we'd fix it. I couldn't deny that there was a pretty good chance that one of us wouldn't make it…" His voice betrayed that he was referring primarily to her. "…But then I remembered what you're capable of. The things I've seen you do. I had to believe that you'd get out, the Reapers would be gone, and then I'd marry your ass and buy us a house in Vancouver to raise a couple of kids."
"We're moving to Vancouver?" she asked flatly, her jade eyes alight with humor.
"Don't interrupt my heartfelt speech," he reprimanded with a growing smirk.
Her lips pressed together.
"If I hadn't clung to that idea, of getting a chance to even ask you if you'd share all that with me…" his voice had turned serious again. "I would have fallen apart the minute we separated. Just the thought of going through your death again… I had to keep my mind on us getting out alive. "
Tilting her head, she brought a gloved hand up to gingerly touch the side of his face. "I understand." She smiled then and tilted her chin to place a chaste kiss on his lips. "I don't think I'd have made it if it wasn't for you. For knowing what I still had to live for. I see my commitments through, after all."
"Damn right you do," he mumbled, leaning in for a lingering kiss. Once they parted, he leaned his head back to look at her levelly. "So, you gonna want a ring?"
She lifted a brow, her mouth twisted sardonically. "Please. The dress is where I draw the line. Won't fit under my greaves, anyway."
"I didn't think so," he chuckled.
Thoughtfulness crept over her face as the rain began to fall gently over them. "Get me a cat instead."
"A …cat." It wasn't a question.
"Or a dog?"
"You want an engagement pet?"
Shepard shrugged. "Why not?"
"You are the most… unconventional woman I've ever met." The crooked smile on his face did nothing for his credibility. Clearly, he loved it.
"Unconventional isn't originally what you were going to say, was it?" she asked, returning the smile.
"Nope. Best we leave it that way." He punctuated the remark with another light kiss.
"Alright," she sighed against his lips. "Rings. But simple wedding bands only. No gaudy gemstones."
"Done," he happily agreed, tucking her lower lip between his before slowly releasing. "Who'll be your maid of honor?"
"Garrus."
Kaidan tilted his head back to accommodate the sudden laugh that burst from his throat. "I see."
"But only if he'll wear a dress, too. It would be just as weird as seeing me in one."
His mirth tapered off to a chuckle and he shook his head. "You did it for Kasumi, I hear."
"Hey. That was life and death."
"Bet you were a knockout."
"Operative words here being 'knock out'. Who's going to be your best man?"
He considered this for a moment. "I'd say Anderson, if he'd be willing, but… I get the impression he'll have another important role."
Eve released a half-breath, half-laugh. "Yeah." He was like a father to her, after all.
"So… I'm thinkin' Joker."
"Damn," she muttered. "He was my back up in case Garrus wouldn't wear the dress."
"Get your ass back in that bed, woman," Kaidan ordered with a laugh, dropping his arms from her waist and pushing her toward the open glass door.
"That's Commander to you," she indignantly replied, all the while making her way back into the house.
"Get your ass back in that bed, Commander," he said, following her.
"Aye, aye, Major."
Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll drop a line. I might sporadically update this with continuations in the form of one-shots that follow a (mostly) linear path. Depends on the ideas that strike, I suppose! Hope you enjoyed it.