Okay so here is the first intro chapter into what may will become the sequel to HIDING FROM IT ALL so those of you who read it great ENJOY those of you who didn't it can proabaly stand alone for the most part so ENJOY also.....
Embracing the Wolf
The trees have always been my comfort ever since I first phased, the anger and loneliness of having to abandon my two best friends in the beginning always drew me away from everyone including those in the pack. The only times I was in their company in the first few weeks were upon being ordered to stay. My free will was lost for good reasons I concede to that now retrospectively but at the time Sam, my Alpha, was my enemy. Nothing and no one in the pack could draw me out of my shallow grave I was trying to dig myself; it pained me to see Jake and Quil around town and that is why I chose the trees. The trees did not hold any bad feelings towards me, the rumors I could not here out there, and most importantly I could find the seclusion I almost was never allowed.
Having our minds join isn't as great as you may think, yeah good for communicating orders and such but not entirely designed with personal privacy in mind. Every ill thought I had for my fellow pack mates rang loud and true in their internal ears. The depression and listlessness I experienced, there was nowhere to hide it. The three of them didn't understand and I saw it in their eyes far to many times, which only forced my eyes away from theirs.
Sam, Jared, and Paul all had reasons for keeping me close, keeping their eyes and minds on my actions weather in wolf form or as they forced my presence among their human bonding experiences. Cliff diving being one of Paul and Sam's favorite activities, main because our body heat takes some getting use to and the chilled water all but makes you feel normal if only for those first few moments.
Sam, though I referred to him as my enemy tried his best to bring me out of my hampered mental state. I felt the draw to be near them, my pack and I fought it tooth and nail, I denied it out right, and hid myself away in the darken depths of the forest only to be found, having to face their thoughts of pity and sadness the whole way home.
When I looked in the mirror back then I recall that my eyes were sullen and dark, the foreboding presence that was me all but dissipated as my two friends joined the pack. Jake's first phase though it brought me joy to have my friend back did not spur the happy reunion I had imagined, instead Jacob was torn, lost and beyond angry. Jacob took to being a wolf faster than most although it was obvious his heart was far from being in it. It wasn't until Quil joined our pack that the three of us actually were brought back to the reality of life. Once we faced reality and we were once again allowed to be near mere humans the perks of the physical changes in our lives came to light.
Yeah, I did say allowed, Sam was a strict alpha though I suppose he would have to be being only a few years older than the rest of us bumbling teens. He was afraid we would make his same mistakes, so he corralled us into a tight knit group and ordered us to keep away from anyone we might hurt. The ease up was slow and daunting, the select few here and there but his trust in us and our respect of him as our leader grew. It helped a lot that Jake was always pushing the rules and orders, making Sam think and many times reconsider what restraint we as young werewolves were actually capable of.
The body that comes along with being werewolf isn't none undesirable, I mean come on a girl's eyes may bug out on sight of me, ego trip if I may say so myself. I can have who and what ever I want, flash a smile take off my shirt and pow, the girl is mine at least for awhile. I am bound to screw it up or get board with her at some point. I realized about the time that Jared started getting serious with Kim that having relationships with girls for too long just gets messy. Hey, if I have the chance of imprinting on some lucky girl some day why waste my time wooing them when I can just flaunt my wolfish muscles and throw out the predatory smile and the prey is mine, so to speak.
So why now am I sulking here alone in the forest at all times too it is the middle of the night? Good question, I left my date at Paul's house, his little party getting a little crazy and the girl my interest flared and at about the time we left the spare bedroom it was gone. One of the guys will take care of her, take her home in the morning or something like that. They always joke that they clean up after my mistakes or conquests what ever you want to call the girl I have my arm around for the moment. I think I drank too much seeing as I am out here sitting on a long instead of being passed out on someone's couch. I rarely head back to my house, it is empty ever since my mother passed away and the elusive father figure never did find out his identity though everyone has their preference for whom they suspect. The house is a little lonely so I crash wherever, no one really cares I am part of the furniture, you know always around.
The wind whips by me and I slide to the ground, the chilly night won't bother my high temperature seeing as it runs at a heavy 107.8 or something like that nowadays. The log for my pillow the mushy ground sinking in against my sturdy frame as I resign myself to a peaceful nap on the earthen floor damp though it maybe I hardly feel it. It isn't the first or the last I will find my solace in the darkness of the forest, the solitude and quiet lulling me into a sleep that will no doubt be restless.