[A/N: Hello MLP fans, I am BanishedOne. As this is my first bit of fiction within this fandom, please excuse any inaccuracies you may encounter, though I hope there are none. Also, I apologize in advance if this story gives you too many feels to tolerate, or completely kills you. Otherwise, please enjoy. :) ]
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It was Pinkie Pie's 100th birthday. She says this will be the last party she ever throws, or at least she says this to her guest of honor-Princess Twilight Sparkle. Her parties do not show her age, in fact, as she grew older it seemed just the opposite. In her late years, her eccentric side only grew, but not at all in a way that was bad, oh no. Perhaps it is better and simpler to say, as the gap between her age and the vigor of her parties grew further apart, it merely became more and more apparent.
At least, Twilight easily recognized this fact. Perhaps she was the only one.
Pinkie's parties were always a great time to be had, in her younger days. And her age only brought greater wisdom and more party guests, so Twilight supposed her parties had grown even more terrific than ever.
Still, despite how Princess Twilight reveled in having her friends' extended families all together, and in one place, and how sincerely proud she was as she watched how the bonds of friendship budded and bloomed among these five family trees... the void created by four missing guests couldn't be filled, no matter how large their families became.
She was as proud as she possibly could be and she loved her friend's children and grandchildren as though they were her own, yet.. the more love she felt for these ponies, the greater turmoil her loss wrought upon her soul. The more she tried to fill her empty heart, the more obvious the void became.
Pinkie's coat was as pink as ever. Perhaps it was lackluster and faded, and her curls had turned to a dusty tone of tarnished silver, but her eyes shone as bright as stars, and she beamed at her party guests, though she'd already run out of the stamina it took to dance and play.
Twilight joined the only remaining member of her original circle of friends, still not accustomed to Pinkie's lack of vitality. Once Twilight had been a calm presence compared to PinkiePie, yet now she spent plenty of restful days by the Earth Pony's side, getting fidgets in her wings from all the sitting still she did. It didn't matter at all, though- she spent every last moment she could with Pinkie now, because as it was, Pinkie was the last, and eventually, even her most long-lived friend would meet her end.
The elderly Earth-pony was not ignorant to her dear friend's plight, either. She was as aware of Twilight's tightened grasp upon their friendship as she was of her own waning time. She had allowed her friend to extend her life by several years, by use of magic, if only to allow Twilight to cling onto the last sense of comfort she had, as long as she could. But today was a different day.
"This will be my last birthday party," she said, with profound certainty in her voice and not a shred of regret. "I think 100 is a good number. It takes three numbers to make 100, and I'm very proud of that."
"Yes," Twilight gently concurred, affection coating her every word shared with Pinkie, though it was merely a sugar-coating that masked her fear, her bitterness, "but it takes three numerals to make every number after 100 until 1000, so you'll be just as proud at 101."
"No," Pinkie disagreed in a sweet tone that seemed as though it borderlined laughter, as though silly Twilight had been joking around, "after 100, the fact that there are three numbers becomes less special, and less exciting."
"How do you know that this will be your last party?," Twilight inquired, afraid she knew the answer, and it twisted in her gut because she could see it in her friend's eyes, without need for words.
"I just have a feeling," Pinkie answered.
::
Pinkie died only a few days after the party- she didn't take her last breath until she made sure to finish off what was left of her cake. Twilight knew, because she somberly visited Pinkie's house after she heard the news. She had visited Pinkie the day after the party, for some of the cake. They laughed as they ate cake together, and no matter how often Twilight was in Pinkie's company, her presence remained so comforting and familiar, the only comforting, familiar thing left in this world.
Twilight had still counted every piece of cake Pinkie had left that day, almost as though she knew what it meant once the last piece had been consumed. And today she checked the box where the cake had been stored- not a single piece left.
But, perhaps Pinkie simply woke up one morning and felt she couldn't even stomach cake, and she knew at that very moment, that day was to be her last. She probably gave the cake to one of the neighboring colts or fillies, because truly, it was a delicious cake.
Twilight sauntered to the very table she'd sat at the last time she saw her friend- she sat there, her head hanging low, her deep, violet mane long enough now to easily hang over her eyes as she fought back tears.
"You know why I've lived such a long, long, long, long life?," Pinkie had said, in her usual tone, devoid of morose feelings, despite how four of her friends had perished, as well.
"I knew when Granny Smith passed away, that I would live to be 100," she explained, "I knew because, when I looked at you that day, while we all were mourning and even I couldn't smile, I saw something in you- I saw something deep inside your soulful eyes, something that you had only just realized on that sad day. It was fear. It was the realization that finally dawned on you, then; that you would watch all of us vanish the same way, while you would remain ever-youthful. I knew that day that I would have to live a really long life, so I could be with you when our friends passed, so I could make sure that even through all of that... you could keep smiling."
"Twilight.. When I'm gone, if you think of me, you had better have a smile on your face. I want you to smile, so that I'll still be alive in you, when your age has four numbers, and nobody else remembers that I even existed. When I am completely forgotten, I want the satisfaction of being the pony that kept you smiling all that time."
And as hard as it was, Twilight forced herself to smile, for Pinkie. Pinkie, after all, hadn't made her promise to smile without shedding tears.
::
There was a service in Ponyville, to celebrate Pinkie's life. This was specified by Pinkie, before her passing. No pony was to 'mourn her death', they were to celebrate her life. Twilight gave a speech at the service, as she had done for all of her friends, and in light of Pinkie's final message to all of her loved ones, Twilight prepared accordingly.
'..even in the twilight of her life, Pinkie found reasons and the everlasting fortitude to smile, to be jovial. She was a pony who arguably had a vast collection of reasons to be morose, as her life waned, but she found even more reasons to be happy, to be proud. And if she could not, then she would find a reason most peculiar and ridiculous, because the means simply did not make a difference. She was a pony who wanted every pony to know the importance of smiles. She credited her happy, stress-free disposition to her longevity, her seemingly limitless vitality. She wanted every pony here today to know that, if you keep smiling, you'll not only live a long life, but it will be a happy one, which matters more than anything else. That was her final lesson to all of you.'
Hoof-beats accompanied a bittersweet kind of cheering. Only Pinkie would have the whole lot of ponies applauding and singing songs with joyous melodies to a funeral. Her spirited message had not failed one single pony, not one single one, but Twilight. No matter what Pinkie said to her, she felt her last smile died with her last friend.
To make matters worse, Twilight would never do Rarity the harsh injustice of not cherishing one of her last beautiful gifts. When AppleJack passed, it was Rarity that insisted on making dresses for all of her friends, to wear to the service. That dress would be worn to Rarity's own funeral, only a few years later, then Dash's and Fluttershy's, and now finally, Pinkie's.
And sadly, Twilight had to confess, she had never worn a more beautiful dress. It was a shade of black much deeper than gray, almost blue in a way, yet still not so dark that was as black as the moonless night. It held a sad, faded touch to it, something almost antique about it. The material was soft as silk, crinkled slightly in places so to hold interest in detail, and it trailed behind Twilight like flowing water, yet caught the gentlest breeze as easy as a cloud.
Twilight hated the turmoil it caused inside her heart. She hated it and cherished it, just the same.
::
Twilight had come to suspect that her once beloved mentor and friend, Princess Celestia, had a very twisted sense of humor. Perhaps the youngest alicorn had merely overthought it, as she typically did with just about everything else, plus her own love of words was the very thing that aided in her discovering this little bit of bitter irony.
Once she had become accustomed to her place as a princess, her adoration of words was very assuring to her. How perfectly wonderful it was to be the middle-ground princess, trapped somewhere between day and night, between Celestia and Luna, as Twilight.
But in actuality, it didn't make any sense at all. There was nothing that established her as being 'between' Celestia and Luna, or day and night as her name suggested. Celestia was Celestia, Luna was Luna, and Twilight was Twilight- they were all differing individuals with vastly different viewpoints on many different topics, as she'd learned over the years. She wasn't inherently in between at all.
In fact, she ruled over something entirely different, and that was friendship. It had little to do with night or day, so she began to realize her own name fitting into the scheme was merely coincidence.
But now she had started to question- was it coincidence?
She was Princess Twilight, who ruled over friendship, yet her own name had taken on a new meaning, such a haunting meaning that she now thought it a curse. The Princess of Friendship, but the only immortal among a group of friends. She had been the Princess, forced to witness the twilight of each of her friends, as their lives waned into neverending night.
And so did her heart, as her body remained stubbornly captured in the haunting hours of evening, mostly faded and dark, with just enough sun peeking over the horizon that she continued to draw breath. And that was how it would always be. Forever.
::
"It seems the midnight hour is becoming a habit of yours, Twilight Sparkle," Luna greeted her fellow alicorn with playful chastising, in a tone that was warm and welcoming. "Though I certainly enjoy the company.
Twilight had come to join the other, as rest had aptly been avoiding her, and dreams were much too sad to face. Likely, Luna was aware of that, and that was why she was putting extra effort into comforting the younger one.
"As do I," Twilight agreed with her elder, not much heart in her tone.
By Luna's side, Twilight could see that she was still comparatively small, so much younger than her fellow. Just as easily, she could see that her legs had grown much more long and slender over the years, and that her mane draped much lower than it once had, it's color deepened to that of wine. She wasn't the same Twilight Sparkle she was many years prior to this lonesome night.
"Your melancholy tone is difficult for me to miss, however. I've begun to suspect you are associating my night with sadness and grief, which would offend, if not for the simple fact- I'm worried for you, TwilightSparkle," Luna managed these words with a gentle smile, her tone as protective and motherly as Celestia's once had seemed. The midnight alicorn stretched one wing near the younger mare, sheltering Twilight beneath her gentle plumes.
"The symbolism is quite common, and on behalf of ponies everywhere, I sincerely apologize for that," an attempt at humor, "but that is not it. It's not so simple as that."
"I am aware, of course," Luna uttered with a sigh, "you dream of your friends. As well.. Perhaps it is not my place to say, but it does appear that there is a rift forming between yourself and my sister."
"Has Celestia said that?," the younger mare asked in alarm, an obvious glimmer of fear in her eyes. As much as Luna spoke true, the notion of allowing her friendship with Celestia to wane was simply too heavy a burden for twilight to bear.
"No," answered Luna, "she merely suspects you need space, and is giving it."
Chuckling bitterly, but in amusement just the same, Twilight replied, "though she is the princess every pony adores, you are much more perceptive, aren't you?"
"I simply have my ways, this is all," the older mare assured, though she gently laughed to herself.
There was a time of silence between the two princesses, though it was a comfortable one. Twilight's mind was void of any thought that could bring her even the most subtle tinge of happiness, so her eyes fell upon the moon above, in a thoughtless kind of daze. The moon tonight was ever so lovely, silvery and gentle in its light as it protected the lands from darkness. It was a completely different view to observe, and something about the slight difference made something Twilight had known for a hundred years seem.. New again.
"If you continue to look upon my night with such awe, you may soon find it handed over to you, for a time," again, Luna joked, and Twilight turned to find the other's eyes upon her, watching her. Her elder surely knew there was more left unsaid, but that these words were difficult ones for Twilight to dare to speak.
"Luna, may I ask you about something?," the younger princess posed, cautious in her manner.
"Of course you may," Luna answered, seemingly so easy and almost carefree.
"I'm sorry.. I hesitate to speak, as it pertains to.. your banishment," Twilight stated carefully, perhaps even ashamed that she had done so.
"Twilight Sparkle," she began, "a hundred years have passed since that time, and it was no fault of yours. It is not difficult for me to speak of, with you, or at all."
"How did you heal?," came Twilight's voice, delicate and tremulous, "only over time have I begun to question that- knowing now that when you returned to Equestria, every pony you ever knew was not only gone, but.. scarcely even a memory remained. How did you cope with that?"
For a time, Luna had nothing but silence. As the seconds passed in the gleam of the moonlight, her ears pressed back and flattened, but there was no animosity in her. Instead, she looked utterly helpless before the other.
"I cannot aid you in the way you are hoping," she finally confessed, "no pony ever cared for me as they have cared for you, and you for them. Loneliness has been my cross to bear, but loss is a pain I've not suffered as you have. I am sorry."
Now, it was Twilight's ears that flattened, in disappointment, as horrible as that was to admit. "That's just as well," she responded, to save face, "you don't deserve to suffer any more than I know you have in your long lifetime. Thank you for speaking with me, anyway."
"You should speak with Celestia," Luna uttered, as though she already knew as she spoke these words, they were words Twilight didn't wish to hear.
"No," sighed the younger, "I'm going to travel to the Crystal Empire, in the morrow. So there won't be time, I'm afraid. As well, my thoughts aren't nearly collected enough for me to speak with her."
"I understand," Luna responded with a nod, "but take care that you do it soon.. And be brave, Twilight Sparkle. Your pain, it surely cannot last."
::
Who would have ever considered that a traincar could be such a haunting place? Memories that should have comforted, instead tormented. Twilight slumped upon her bench, dazed eyes slowly moving across her surroundings. There was little reason for many others to be making the trip to the Crystal Empire at such a random time, and Twilight had found herself all alone where she rested.
How many times had her friends taken this trip with her altogether? Where once her friends would have been in her company, happily chattering, joking, laughing, now there was naught but silence. Every bench nearby remained unoccupied, apart from shadows of a past that Twilight desperately wished to return to. It felt to be just a few painful moments beyond her grasp, as though the years had fluttered by so quickly, and her friends were here but seconds ago. She swore she could still hear their voices if she listened closely enough.
She couldn't help but wonder; had Pinkie traveled to some celestial train station, where all of her friends came out to greet her? Had they all taken a train ride together, to another realm of eternal happiness? Were they laughing and chatting again? Or were they simply gone, forever, like words unspoken?
Did they resent that Twilight remained, while they had gone? Could they ever forgive her? Could she forgive herself?
Could she forgive the one responsible?
::
The Castle staff all welcomed Princess Twilight with such vigor, as her presence typically was a sign that any chaos that had befallen them was soon to be put in order. What they didn't know was that the youngest Princess was not visiting for the sake of royal responsibility, but for her own personal reasons.
"I have need to visit the Royal Mausoleum," she addressed the guards with a tone that was withdrawn, but held authority. They fell silently in line at her sides, flanking the royal but respectfully allowing her a certain amount of space as they escorted her.
Twilight quietly bypassed handfuls of guards and castle workers, easily finding her way down a well-policed passage with ease, until she was at the door of the Royal Mausoleum. This was a place that had only grown more and more difficult for her to visit each time she returned. Now, it was more of a burden on her breaking heart than it had ever been before. She breathed deeply inward, and continued inside, if only to at last be away from the lingering presence of the guard that had followed her here.
Within awaited a hidden nook that was almost serene and for an instant she found herself beginning to wonder if perhaps death was not something to fear, like an eternal imprisonment in darkness, but like a sweet, enveloping slumber that ushered you from your loneliness. Even so, she would never know for sure, bound to her own personal imprisonment of immortality.
The light inside was a dull flicker, low and warm, it's caressing vibrance like a small, sweet singing voice, a lullaby for the eyes. The candles were surrounded by decorative gems, delicate and ornate in their arrangement, so that the flickering rays reflected now and again in sparkles of beautiful color, painting the chamber like an ever-changing tapestry.
Twilight came to rest before the twin altars, braving the difficulty there was in the act of even reading the names etched into the stone- Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor.
It was because of Cadance that Twilight had learned the spell she used to extend Pinkie's life. Some time ago, Cadance had bid her dear friend to aid her, with magic, in the preservation of Shining Armor's life, and Twilight hadn't even the faintest thought to reject this notion. Her beloved brother had fallen ill, his body torn asunder by too many years bearing the burden of magic that was much too taxing for him. Every passing day saw his body become steadily more frail, but he had lived as a stallion that could not be deterred from how he overworked himself, because the protection of their kingdom and their love was his responsibility.
In hopes of undoing her elder sibling's thoughtlessness, Twilight bore down upon her studies, often reading by her brother's side, the long locks of her tail draped over his back as though she could blanket him with even an ounce of her everlasting vitality.
The studious princess succeeded in discovering some small amount of work that had went into a spell that was meant to extend the life of a dying pony. It could not reverse damage done, however, it could merely slow down the progression of degradation. As well, it took no small amount of work for Twilight to complete the spell and teach it to herself, then perform it masterfully enough for it to make any difference.
She managed to keep her elder brother around for perhaps a few extra years, tormenting herself in guilt that she had only extended her brother's suffering at the end. And no matter how Twilight extended her sibling's time, as it ran out, Cadance became inconsolable.
It was not for lack of trying, of course- Twilight must have spent several weeks by her beloved friend's side, never leaving her, never letting her feel as alone as Twilight felt now. It was of some comfort to Twilight herself, being able to reflect upon her brother's life, being able to share the same feeling of love lost forever with another soul who understood it.
But Twilight still had some of her friends to give her strength, whereas Cadance fell beyond recovery. Her grief had grown so that it consumed her; she was broken, she could not even be reached any longer. She drifted between lengths of slumber and ceaseless sobbing hysteria, until at last she laid staring off into nothing, her mind a thing that had slipped away, leaving her immortal body behind and her unconscious magic, a danger to everything around her.
When this occurred, Celestia wasted little time intervening. There was nothing that could be done to bring Cadance back at any point in the near future, and so the eldest Princess bestowed the younger alicorn with a spell that would relieve her suffering in slumber, until she was fit to wake again and at last, heal.
Twilight assumed the burden of control, granted to her by Celestia when it became apparent that Cadance would be unwell for an indefinite period. The young mare wanted to believe that this was a gift, a sign of her mentor's trust, but.. it only served to weigh heavily upon her, at a time when she had lost her brother, as well as one of her closest friends.
She was left to feel lost and alone, and Celestia was apparently blind to that fact. It wasn't until Twilight acquired her mentor's permission to pass her responsibilities on to a carefully selected council that she felt any relief. Of course, it was still required that she oversee everything the council decided or put into action, and to fix the hitches that inevitably came up.
At last Twilight raised her amethyst eyes to peer upon her lost family that rest upon the altars- Shining Armor was encased in a lovely, gleaming coffin of silver, as strong and vibrant as he had been in his youth. Cadance was encased in a gem-like coating that gleamed around her and encased her as a warm, protective blanketing for her curled, sleeping form.
"Cadance," Twilight uttered, her voice tearful all over again as she wept before the sister who had left her alone, "I wish more than anything that you could be here now. Of course, I wish you could be by my side as well, big brother, but I know you have gone to a different rest."
Her head fell forward, hanging low for a moment as she trembled, helpless and weeping. She hadn't the strength for these pleas that would go unheeded, unanswered, but she forced herself to pretend it was so. "Cadance," she uttered once more, finding some will to look upon her sleeping friend, "..I need you now, to give me some tiny pillar of strength, to give me something to hold onto as I begin to feel myself, slipping toward the void deep inside..."
The mare sniffled, her eyes shining like gems in the glassiness of her tears. "How could you just leave me like this?," she breathed, bitter as much as she was sullen, as much as she felt helpless and foolish, and lost, "How could you leave me to mourn alone as everything I've ever loved dies around me? I thought you cared.. I thought you cared enough to be by my side, to hold me up and allow me to do the same for you?"
Shaking her head, Twilight continued, seeking some shred of comfort in simply being allowed to voice her feelings. "You remember when I came, and I found you down there, all alone and hopeless? And together we found our way back to the light? That's where I am now, Cadance.. I am down there, in the darkness, and I am all alone, and you're not even here to help me back into the light."
"Without you here, my heart is festering in that darkness. My anger has no pony that can help it subside, that can even just talk to me. My pain has only one scapegoat.. And what will become of me when I am forced to face Celestia in this state of mind, all alone?"
Twilight trailed off, so that the echo of her voice rang about the cavern momentarily until it faded into silence, which in the end, was all that was left. The alicorn princess sighed, her eyes lowered to the ground before her hooves, and in a quiet, delicate voice, she bitterly uttered words in a whispered volume. "Sunshine..sunshine... ladybugs awake... clap your hooves, and..do a little shake."
::
Not terribly far from the castle that stood like a shining pillar over the Crystal Empire, there was a cave that led deep into the mountainside. Just the same as with the Royal Mausoleum, the widened entranceway to this deep cavern was well-guarded, which Twilight was glad of. She was allowed to pass without question, and she descended into the darkness, her hooves clicking against the smoothed stone floor, the echo of her footsteps resounding into the abyss below.
The grand corridor into the mountain went as far as the gleaming sunlight from outside could reach, before it sharply descended down into the earth. A steep staircase, carved meticulously into the stone and lined with torches to light the way; the air within was cold and harsh, and gently rushed back toward the opening of the cave in a foreboding manner, as though in warning. Twilight's mane rustled and swished in the chilled flux, and her eyes peered round at how the chamber walls glittered in the flickering flame of the enchanted torches, rich with jewels. The Crystal Empire really had done its very best to cater to her other hibernating friend. It was no surprise, however; Twilight had been in service to them for years, and her sweet little Spike, they regarded as a hero.
Of course, he wasn't so little anymore. A hundred years saw his body mature. He had even grown in a pair of wings, at last, though it had taken quite a long time for him to do so, by what seemed to be average for other dragons. However, unlike the incident that had caused him to mutate into a creature most ferocious, his normal aging process caused little change in his personality, or his kind disposition. Perhaps he wasn't so cute as he was when he was a baby, but the Crystal Empire's love for him grew with his size, nonetheless.
To them, he must have seemed like some grand protector, now that he was large enough to seem like a real threat to the forces of evil. (And his love for their praise never waned, not even slightly.)
But, as Twilight had come to learn, time was the leveler for most things in this world. Spike was devastated by the loss of every friend, and his heart seemed even more vulnerable to the tempest of emotion that came with such grief. It was when Rarity passed that the dragon could not contain his suffering, and for days he disappeared, having flown off to do things, not even Twilight knew now. He did not even return for the funeral, as though simply ignoring that Rarity was gone now was easier than facing the reality of it.
And when he returned, he still refused to speak of it. Twilight didn't force him. She could see that his tender heart had been torn apart. She could see the forlorn, faded color of the dragon's eyes. Once they shone like emeralds, yet now they seemed like dull, worn glass.
After that time, perhaps it was coincidence, Spike's perception and behavior became unusually hazy, his mind drifting and unclear, his movements sluggish and dull, his appearance as lackluster as his eyes. And before even he could foresee a reason behind this occurrence, he succumbed to hibernation. It was not that he couldn't be awakened at all, but even when he was conscious, one could hardly call it that.
Quickly, this chamber was prepared for him, so deep beneath the mountain that he could slumber in the warm glow of the core. As Twilight neared the bottom landing of the stairs she had descended, she could at last feel that warmth; it was stifling and humid, and the air was stale, but it must have been peaceful and comforting for her dear, reptilian friend.
"The last of our friends has died," the princess spoke somberly in the echo of the chamber, her hooves clicking as she approached the curled-up dragon, "I wanted to tell you now, if you can even hear me, so that you wouldn't have to find it out when at last you wake up. It would be terrible news to wake up to, after all."
The alicorn's voice was dull, and very weak, and she came to sit near Spike's nose, listening to the rhythmic sound of his breath, the puff of his exhales like a sharp breeze through a cracked window. "I guess.. not having to watch it all as it happened was easier for you, wasn't it? Then, when you wake up, it will have been so long ago, it will be as if it never even happened."
"..but it will also seem... like they never existed, as well," Twilight uttered to herself, moving to nudge at the leathery scales of the dragon's face with her nose, her horn gently bumping against him.
"Maybe.. You're dreaming of the days when we were all young, and carefree. I wish my dreams could be so pleasant. I wish I had some kind of escape, such as that," the mare sighed before she laid her head down to rest in silence by her sleeping friend.
She was uncertain how much time passed as she waited there, wanting to be comforted by the sheer fact that one friend was still alive, at least- he wasn't very responsive, and wouldn't be for an amount of time that was equal to the long life Twilight had already led, but he was breathing, his heart was beating, she could hear that much.
Then, after a long silence, so much that Twilight had almost begun to drift off, there came a soft, rumbling sound, and the Princess raised her head in curiosity. As she watched, the dragon slowly opened his eyes, and his pupils narrowed to thin slits as he focused on the pony by his side.
Though his green eyes looked upon Twilight as she sat near, and she smiled at him, happy that her dragon friend would wake, even just to acknowledge her, he said nothing. A deep rumble purred from his throat, an unintelligible greeting perhaps, then his eyes shut once again.
"Sleep well, Spike," Twilight whispered, nuzzling her dragon friend before she turned to depart. Distantly, she began to wonder, over-thinking again as always- perhaps Celestia had really given Spike over to Twilight for the purpose of being the one friend who would outlive most?
The only way she would ever know, however, was if she could seek out the answer at its source.
::
Celestia was seated on a cushion, peering down upon her lands from one of the many grand windows in her castle, when Twilight was brought before her. At first, the eldest princess did not acknowledge the younger, despite that Twilight's presence had been announced to her by the guards. No, instead her eyes remained lovingly upon her kingdom, somehow forlorn, as though she were looking for the last time.
Twilight remained as patient as she could, until at last her mentor's words of acknowledgment came.
"Do you need something, Twilight?," she asked, her voice calm with the slightest touch of sunshine and wisdom, yet somehow it only seemed as though it was to mask something that was tired within her.
"Yes," responded the younger mare. There was little to decipher in her voice- it was plain and steely, and the sound of it prickled at the elder alicorn's ears. One white ear rotated toward the other princess even before Celestia turned to look upon Twilight. Perhaps the sound of bitterness made Celestia's ears itch with its familiarity. "Answers," Twilight explained with one, single word.
"Oh?," Celestia uttered in question, in a way that made her seem like she indeed hadn't expected such a request, "and what is it that could possibly puzzle you, my brightest little star?"
"Did you know," Twilight asked, hovering in silence and ambiguity for a passing moment, "did you know what would come to pass? You led my younger self, naive as I was, toward what would be my greatest strength, my friendship. Did you know, as you directed me then, as you created another being as immortal as yourself, how loss would destroy me, in time?"
The eldest royal looked upon Twilight, observing her in a contemplative fashion, before she turned to gaze out the window once more, sunlight glimmering against her pearlescent coat, her lustrous mane, and the weighty, golden crown atop her head. "I knew," she answered, as though the truth were and always had been, as easy and simple as that, "but I had hoped you would not live up to those expectations, at least."
Twilight visibly crumbled before her senior, as if something vital inside her had shattered and fallen out, off into nothing. Her head fell low, too heavy for the graceful column of her neck to support, and her elegant legs trembled, fighting against the weight of her body and gravity as it felt to intensify upon her back.
"Then, why?," the younger mare quietly uttered, her throat tight and her voice tremulous, "why would you do it, if you knew?"
"Are you sure you're ready for that answer?," Celestia responded, her own voice darkened subtly, apprehension and sadness apparent, though there was something else as well- something hidden.
Raising her eyes just enough to look upon the eldest princess, Twilight found that her senior was looking in her direction once again as well, with questioning, warning. But Twilight's disposition was hardened against what shred of gentleness there was in Celestia that withheld the harsh reality of the truth. Her eyes answered for her.
"You were useful to me," Celestia spoke plainly, her words just as biting and sharp as they were promised to be. "You were one of many of my young pupils, and I was searching for a new source of power, shooting in the dark until you revealed yourself to me. You were talented, and you were a tender, new life, brand new to this world. You had options available to you that had long passed me by. And you were akin to a brand new canvas, ready and quite willing to be marked upon.. Under my guidance, I created power in you. I led you to it. And I used that power where I needed it, much the same as I did with your brother. The two of you were, my shield.. And my sword."
As Celestia finished speaking, she fell silent, allowing her explanation of things to sink in. It did not take Twilight long, however, to weakly utter the words, "..you used me?"
"Yes," Celestia answered, without an ounce of hesitation, "you're no fool, Twilight. You've known this to be true. You came here simply to have me confirm it. Had I denied it, you would not have believed me."
Again, Celestia offered Twilight silence to digest the difficult reality that lay revealed in all its naked wickedness before her. But, once more it did not take Twilight long to respond in bitter accusation, "How could you?," she bid the other, "How could you do this?"
"I had no choice," Celestia calmly but firmly stated, "in knowing of dangers that threatened this kingdom, growing and waiting to spring up and destroy everything at any moment, looking to my subjects for sources of strength, to combat the forces of evil was the only option I had. I used you, Twilight, and your power became my greatest weapon. You and your friends saved us all in times of peril, more than once. Weighing the demise of everything against the emotional turmoil you would feel a hundred years in the future, it was plain which was a lesser worry to me, in the grand scheme of things."
It felt as though there was nothing left for Twilight to say- she could say nothing in rebuke, nothing to defend herself against Celestia's infinite wisdom. Perhaps, she thought, she was meant to collect the insignificant, little thing that her existence was and remove it from Celestia's presence. She thought so, until Celestia addressed her once again.
"I cannot say that I regret what I've done, or that I believe I was wrong in doing so, but I am sorry, Twilight. It doesn't please me, seeing you suffer," the elder alicorn sighed, her gentle voice carrying on in Twilight's silence, "this is why there are so few of us in this world. Your friends, as special as each of them were- they were not meant for eternity. There was only so much for them to learn, and do and see in this lifetime, before it all faded into something too bland and tedious to continue. That they lived and died, that they were finite in their existence- it made them beautiful... and it is the very opposite that makes you beautiful."
Raising her head in question, in confusion, Twilight's shimmering, amethyst eyes peered toward Celestia.
"The world changes- it takes many seasons, and many generations of ponies to come and go, but the world changes. New ideas come to light, new stories are told, things change slowly but surely, and it is unlike the turn of the seasons, in the same infinite cycle- it is an evolution, and though it can be saddening to know things you've loved in the past will fade away, that beauty is born again and again, and its newness makes it wonderful to behold, for those who have the strength to endure the hardships, the weight of time itself... I thought you had that strength, Twilight Sparkle, and that is why I made your existence something that would abide... I've watched the world outside myself, through a pane of glass, for a very long time. My heart has been a thing most guarded and resistant. With my responsibilities to this kingdom in mind, I could never allow myself to be so vulnerable as you, to open myself up to bonds in the way you did. I've seen ponies come and go in what seemed like a blink of time, and time only slips away faster when you allow yourself to be truly happy.. It would be foolish and irresponsible of me to ever make myself so weak, to let myself be wounded as you are now... and because of that, even in a time much shorter than my own, you've experienced things I have never known, and would have never known, had it not been for the words of you and all your friends, that were written to me... knowing this, Twilight, can you truly act as though you regret the life you've had, a life you shared with others who loved you?"
"I see," Twilight managed to just barely breathe out these words in the very softest of tones. As she did, Celestia's ears flickered forward, to listen more clearly. "I do not regret the life I've had," she stated, plainly, "I regret that I am left alone by everyone I loved, because you long to possess something you won't have to let go of."
These words would be the last that passed between the eldest and youngest princesses; as Twilight finished speaking, she showed herself out in a flash of teleportation, not giving Celestia the chance to say anything more.
::
The miserable princess wasn't even sure where she had ended up- it was certainly an unfamiliar place, and desolate enough for her to suppose it was perhaps, even outside of Celestia's kingdom. She could only surmise that when she used her teleportation spell with the only intent being to get away from Celestia, it took her as far away from the other princess as possible.
Very effective.
But, now that she knew the truth, and there was no place left for her to hide from it, what did Twilight Sparkle have now? Her mentor was her only infinite friend, and as that was a friendship that lay tattered and strewn, what did she have left?
"There are ways to bring about a cease to all your suffering," a disembodied voice purred from nowhere, as playful in its tone as it was mocking, and malicious.
"Discord," Twilight uttered, her ears tucked against her skull in distaste as before her materialized a cloven hoof, and a scaly claw, taking a few steps toward her as the rest of this creature's winding body appeared from nothing.
"As sharp as always, my dear," he hissed in greeting, trudging low to the ground on all four mismatched feet, so that his crimson eyes might peer into Twilight's own, on her level. The alicorn wasted little time alighting her horn in magic, as a warning.
Discord heeded the mare's threatening gestures very little, twisting himself into the space around her, so that she was surrounded by him as he addressed her. "Now, now, Twilight!," he chastised with mock-scorn, "is that any way to behave around somebody whose only friend is dead and gone? I would have thought you had more sympathy."
"What do you want?," Twilight asked, her tone guarded and cautious.
"Well, I suppose we've known each other for quite a long while, haven't we? There's no need for me to keep secrets from you, is there?," he chuckled, his joking nature ever so sinister, "my magic is strong, but I've never been able to wrap myself around the notion of killing an alicorn. But, that doesn't mean I haven't attempted to develop something, should the opportunity arise..the trouble with it is, if I try it, and it doesn't work, well, I'd be in big trouble, wouldn't I? But.. if there were an alicorn, such as yourself, who may potentially be hoping for all their wretched suffering to finally come to a merciful end.. Well, I could give it a shot."
"You actually think I'd let you kill me?," Twilight hissed, the glow from her horn even more vibrant with each word the serpent spoke.
"Oh, Twilight, don't be so dramatic!," Discord batted at the air with his talon, his eyes peering off in another direction as he fought the grin that twisted upon his maw, "It isn't like I'd be doing this for fun! I'm just as torn up as you, but as heart-breaking as it is to think of being the means to your end, I'd rather know that your pain has come to an end, and that you've joined your friends, wherever they may be, even though I can never follow and be able to see my dear, sweet, Fluttershy again..." He laughed, and continued in a more hushed tone, "the thought of doing something to spite Celestia does amuse me, however."
"Wait," Twilight spoke, the mention of Celestia bringing a thought to mind, "you're just looking to test your magic on me, to see if it will work, aren't you? Once you know how effective it is, you'll turn it on the other princesses next, won't you?"
At this suggestion, Discord laughed aloud, as though the most ridiculous thing had been said. "No, Twilight!," he said, "I would never do such a thing!"
In an instant, Twilight fired her magic in his direction, aimed squarely at him, though he easily teleported before being struck and materialized elsewhere. Now, he laughed nervously, and spoke up in affirmation, "Okay, okay, yes. You're right. But.. think about it; Celestia has lived and ruled for such a long time. She used you and kept you around for her own amusement. Does she really need to be around any longer than she already has? Not that I'm saying necessarily that I would do what you said, because the magic could still very well effect Celestia differently than you, so.. I wouldn't risk it."
Warping himself nearer once again, Discord looked upon the vulnerable princess, not at all threatened by the glow that easily returned to her horn. "Think of it, Twilight," he purred, "being with your friends again. All of the regret and grief, gone in a quick flash of magic. No pain, and no more pain, ever again. There's nopony here to soothe you, to hold you up and console you," a claw reached out to gently touch Twilight's mane, combing through it softly, "..Let me help you. All of your friends are just waiting for you."
There was a time that Twilight could resist, a time when indeed she had her friends to keep her going.. And in leading Twilight to her greatest strength, Celestia assured her one great weakness as well. Perhaps there were other young ponies Celestia was already grooming to take over this job? Perhaps Twilight hadn't even been the first? She did not know. She did not care.
The magical glow of the mare's horn dimmed and faded, in resignation. Discord chuckled in amusement and disbelief, but Twilight simply ignored it, and she ignored his words as best she could as he uttered, "there, there, Twilight.. It'll all be over soon."
The violet alicorn at last let her legs give out beneath her, folding under the pressure of her weight. Her head lay upon the ground before her, her chin pressed into the grass, so that she could smell the tender, green blades and the earth beneath, the earth she soon hoped to be part of. Her mane splayed out against the green below, wine-colored tendrils and wisps stretching this way and that. Her lashes fluttered low, her deep, dark eyes concealed from sight, covered in darkness she hoped would be eternal, as she waited and Discord surely readied himself for a powerful act of magic.
She took one last breath and the magic struck her with a flash of light that faded out in a rush, down into darkness, deep, cold darkness.
When Twilight opened her eyes, she found herself poised at the edge of a steep, rocky embankment, which dropped off into a black, endless void. The horizon before her; mountainous and forested but cloaked with a soft blanket of mist that was rising up to conceal everything beneath, everything but the sun, which was setting in the distance.
Unsteady rubble beneath her hooves shifted and toppled off the edge, down into the abyss, never to be seen again. There was an immense feeling of sadness in this place, the kind that was easily tangible to a pony such a Twilight. It was as though this were the graveyard of all the regret felt by every pony that had ever existed, and this was where it came to die as they shed it, and moved into the great beyond.
All the negativity in the world waited in the void, below, which Twilight stood one footstep from toppling into. As she realized this, there came a soft breeze, pushing the fog further over the land, and whistling a haunting melody in the reeds and tiny caverns, a melody of needful hearts broken, and left all alone. This may have been the very song written upon Twilight's soul and so the fallen Princess's voice offered up words to accompany, sweet and soft, and somber, a voice of youthful quality, the woe of her age only apparent in her words.
The eve of my falling
there's nothing more lonely
there's so much I regret.
The grief forms a void, it's voice is calling,
The end will relieve, I thought, if only..
What did my life stand for? What was I to you?
Did I exist, just to be used?
In my time, I found a thing to cherish..
But time belongs to none.
In time, we all perish..
Perhaps what it all means, is nothing at all..
Fighting to hold onto what is sure to fall..
But I remember, I recall..
I was happy once.
I had something to call my own.
And now that it's over, there's nothing else I want..
Twilight, then night, before dawn.
And then it occurred to Twilight, for all her love of words and their meanings, she had never considered that her name represented the time of day when the sun faded away into night. She leapt from the height where she had been perched, her wings fluttering open but not flapping, serving only to feel the wind as it whipped between her violet plumes and she toppled down below, down into the darkness, until it consumed her, in one violent wave of pain that shot through every inch of her, and forced her to draw breath again, to remind her that she was alive..
"Twilight? Are you in there?," a familiar voice. It belonged to Discord.
"What?," the princess uttered, her voice weak as she opened her eyes and looked up to see that bizarre chimera serpent looking over her. "I'm alive?"
"I'm sorry, Twilight," the serpent apologized, though it was not the kind of voice that reflected a failure. It was more so the kind of voice that reflected deceit.
"What..did you do to me?," Twilight managed to mumble as a blinding pain pulsed through her, from the tips of her ears, to her hooves. Discord only chuckled at the alicorn, unable to stand or do anything to save herself.
"Well, I did do what I promised, in a way. It just wasn't in the way you were expecting, I think," he explained in a joyous and sinister tone. "The pony you were will soon be gone, and all that will remain are those dark feelings inside.. That and your wonderful magical skill, of course. And, it is very likely that you will meet your end, as I promised, but..," a smirk stretched itself over his snout, "..you might also bring about Celestia's end in the process."
::
"Sister!," Luna's voice chimed in alarm, as she rushed into her sister's chambers. "I have seen something very unusual. During my rest, it seems that Twilight Sparkle fell unconscious and I made a momentary connection to her. Do you know what has happened?"
"No," the elder sister answered simply, her tone forlorn as she lay flat in the light of her setting sun, listless, "Twilight had been here, but.. she has gone, and I'm not sure as to where."
"..are you not worried?," Luna posed, the confounded tone to her words quite clear.
"I am," answered the older mare, then she said nothing more.
"What happened while Twilight was here?," Luna asked, still confused, and with worries mounting.
A deep sigh was emitted from the elder sister, and she uttered, "I told her the truth."
"What?," Luna hissed in disbelief, her hooves clicking against the marble floor as she closed the gap between herself and her sister, coming to lay at Celestia's side, "How could you do that? You know that Twilight Sparkle is in too delicate a state for the truth."
"..and she's much too clever for lies," Celestia quipped, though her tone lacked any ray of vibrance, "She has lived a hundred years. If she was still unready for the truth, then there simply wasn't a proper time to tell it to her."
Luna's ears flattened at her sister's words and she shook her head, "Your words are too clinical for such a sensitive mare. You have always been this way- speaking your actions with honesty that is brutal, but masking the truth of your own emotions, as though you have none."
"I thought Twilight would understand me, as you do," the elder uttered, though she quickly corrected herself, "No, she understood. She found my intentions to be selfish, as they were."
"You should have simply said to her that you loved her, and that it was your hope that she would be the first pony you could ever cherish without the fear of loss," Luna advised gently, her wing unfurled over her sister's back in concern.
Chuckling bitterly, Celestia replied, "I allowed myself to be vulnerable, without fear, and she has wounded me, yet."
"You mustn't falter, sister," spoke the younger, her voice becoming grave, "I fear something horrible has occurred. I've felt a kind of hatred that I haven't known for.. a very long while. If for any reason Twilight Sparkle has been consumed with malicious intent, and aims to kill you.. you must enact the backup plan."
Not even so much as lifting her head, Celestia replied with words of resignation. "For the suffering I've condemned her to, perhaps I do deserve death."
"Do not speak that way!," Luna quickly cut in, coming to a stand and moving before her sister, stamping a hoof and bidding that Celestia hold it together, "And do not think I will stand idly by and allow you to be killed."
"Once," uttered the elder mare, "it was all you longed for."
To these words, Luna did not have an immediate reply, aghast that her sister would even speak such a thing. "I did not long for such a thing, at all," she at last managed to say in reply, "I was merely blinded by my foolish hatred. I was blind to the fact that you were just as lonely as I... and it is my hope, Twilight will realize that as well. But, until then, we must do what we can."
"Do you think I can stand another thousand years, hoping that all will be forgiven, and that I can forgive in return?," Celestia asked, at last raising her head to meet her sister's eyes.
"It is either that, or her death," Luna spoke in grave reply.
::
END