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This is a song fic. I heard this song a while back, and I couldn't get the idea out of my head, so this is the result. A million points to the first reviewer who can tell me the name & artist of this song.
I don't own anything but an old van and a bunch of crap. And certainly not any of these characters or the song that is the inspiration for this story.
I haven't been back to Seattle in just over six years. It's strange to be back. I start back at Seattle Grace Mercy West in two weeks from tomorrow, and I have to admit I'm a little bit nervous about going back to work there. I didn't exactly leave under the best circumstances last time, so I'm glad that they're giving me another chance. So, this, clear, sunny 75 degree Sunday afternoon, I'm out shopping for the things I'll need for my new apartment. I wonder about my old co-workers; who's left and who's gone and where they went to. I know that Richard Webber retired as Chief of Surgery a few years ago and that one Owen Hunt is the Chief now. Other than that, I didn't really keep up with anything from that time in my life. I'm cruising around the downtown open markets where there is everything from clothing to household décor to fresh veggies and home-canned jellies and pickles to hand made jewelry. It's really a neat place to shop, one that I never seemed to have time to visit very often when I lived here.
'm looking through a rack of hand-made shirts, trying to figure out what color, besides a bright royal blue to buy when I hear a voice from my past, one I'd recognize anywhere. It sends a shiver down my spine and a bolt of adrenaline through my body. I look for somewhere to hide, but it's too late; I've been spotted.
"Erica?! Is that really you?" she asks. I look up into the chocolate brown eyes I fell in love with so long ago. She comes around the corner and stands in front of me… She hasn't changed a bit. Still strikingly beautiful with her long raven-black hair, fit body and those amazing curves. She's holding the hand of the most beautiful little girl who looks so much like Callie Torres that she has to be her mother; so much so that I don't hear Callie's next question.
"Wha- Huh?" I stutter out. "Sorry, I was distracted by this little beauty. She has to be yours, right?" I ask.
Callie smiles her huge, trademark smile and chuckles. "That happens sometimes around her. Yes, she's mine. She's three and a half, and the light of my life. I couldn't love her more," she says as she ruffles the little girl's black curls. She kneels down to be at eye level with her daughter and asks, "Sof, can you say Hi to Dr. Hahn? She was one of Mami's friends at work from before you were born." She regards me seriously for a moment, and then works her way around Callie's leg so just the right half of her is peeking out from behind her mother's legs. She holds on to Callie's pant leg with her left hand, and timidly sticks out her right hand to me. I crouch down in front of her and accept the tiny outstretched hand, she says, "Hi, my name is Sofia Robbin Sloan-Torres. It's good to meet you."
I glance up at Callie and say, "Sloan, really?" She shrugs her shoulders and I get the feeling that she doesn't want to talk about it, but right now, I'm too enchanted with this miniature Latina in front of me to question it. She looks exactly like Callie, except for the curly hair and her striking blue eyes. And in that moment, I'm pretty sure I know what's happened with Callie in my absence. I stand back up, and a flash of… What is that? Jealousy? Maybe that's too strong a word, but I feel something along those lines and I realize I love Callie, still. And suddenly, my whole world seems to stand still. I can't catch a decent breath around the lump in my throat, and I am frozen to the spot.
She asks me how I've been and I tell her that I can't really complain, that I've made some mistakes in my past and am now looking for a fresh start. I tell her that she's really a sight for sore eyes, which elicits a small blush from her, quickly followed by a look that says "You're the one who walked away, you don't get to complain about missing me".
We stand there on the street talking about all that's happened in the hospital since I so unceremoniously left Seattle Grace so long ago. Callie tells me about some of the new residents, about Richard stepping down as Chief and how Owen Hunt has taken over that position. I tell her that I'm coming back to work there starting in two weeks. She seems a little shocked, honestly, but if she's mad at me, she hides it well. She tells me about Derek and Meredith and how they now have two kids, and how Burke showed up and swept Cristina off her feet with a state of the art lab in Zurich and how it's strange to not have Cristina at the hospital begging for any procedure that even smells like it could be cardio related. The rest of our fellow shoppers pay us no mind as they continue their day.
I ask her about Mark: where he is and why hasn't he come around here hollering at them to get a move-on. A dark shadow crosses her face, and she explains the plane crash and all that happened following their rescue from their woodland prison. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I vaguely remember hearing about it on the news a few years back, but I never dreamed it was folks from Seattle Grace Mercy West on that flight and that I'd known some of them. Again, I find myself rooted to the spot, unable to move or think. Or even breathe. Time seems to have stopped.
Suddenly, she reaches up and hugs me. And that lump in my throat is back, and the whole world stops at her touch. I'm so surprised at her hug that I don't react right away. And yes, I know in this moment that I still love her. I reach my arm around her and hug her back for the briefest of moments until she pulls away. She still smells the same, and she feels so good under my touch. She tells me that we'll have to "do lunch" sometime to catch up, and I tell her I'd love nothing more. I want to tell her how sorry I am for leaving her like I did, that I was scared of my feelings for her, that I loved her and it was so early in our relationship that it scared me to death, but before I could say anything, someone calls her name. Sofia squeals, "Momma!" and lets go of Callie's hand and takes off running.
A beautiful blue-eyed blonde kneels down to catch the little girl as she throws herself into the woman's arms, and she smiles. She's got gorgeous dimples. That's so not fair; dimples are cheating! She asks Sofia what Mami's doing and she points us out. She comes over and slips her hand into Callie's, who leans over and gives her a quick peck on the lips. Then the stranger looks between Callie and me with a questioning look. Callie takes Sofia from her and says, "Honey, this is Erica Hahn, Cardio. She's coming back to work at the hospital. Erica, this is my wife, Dr. Arizona Robbins, Peds surgeon at the hospital. We've been married for just over three years." I can't believe what I'm hearing. It doesn't seem possible that even I can screw up this much to have walked away from this amazing woman. What the hell was I thinking? It hits me like a sucker-punch to the gut. It makes my heart ache as it steals my breath.
Arizona reaches out to take my hand and I blindly shake hers. Her mouth is moving, but I don't hear what she's saying. I'm rooted to the spot, my whole world standing still, again. And all I can think is that I love Callie, still. Then, all too soon, Callie says that they need to get heading home, that it's getting late and that she'll see me later. As I watch them walk away, swinging Sofia between them and the little girls laughter filling the air around us, I know that I love her, still.