All characters and places in Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi and a bunch of corporations that I can't be bothered to remember. They are used without permission. Please don't sue me.
I originally wrote this and put it on the internet some years ago. I've decided to dig it out, clean it up a little, and put it on Fanfiction(dot)net.
A Trip to Jusenkyo
"Now here, Mr. Customer sir, we have Legendary Training Ground of Accursed Springs, Jusenkyo."
The guide glanced briefly over at his customer before continuing with his speech. Most people who sought out the hard to reach training ground were dedicated, if not too bright, martial artists. He had grown adept at recognising the type and, as far as he could tell, the tall young westerner next to him had no martial arts skills at all.
"There is more than one hundred spring here . . . and each one have own tragic legend."
"I wouldn't have thought that all hundred odd could have their own tragic story." Interrupted his companion, scanning the valley before them with binoculars. "Are there any exceptions?"
The guide considered this for a moment. Most of his customers didn't interrupt him or ask questions. In fact, few of his customers seemed to pay much attention to anything he said at all.
"Well, over that direction" He said, pointing out across the expanse of pools and bamboo poles. "There is OtakuBakaMegalomanianiichuan."
"Huh?"
"There is happy, very happy tale of self-insertion fanfic writer who was lynch there two and half year ago."
After a brief pause he glanced over at his western employer, who looked vaguely embarrassed for some reason. He was digging a camera and notepad out of his backpack. The small pair of binoculars he had been scanning the pools with now hung round his neck.
"Ah, does Sir wish to train here?"
"No, I had heard of the place a while back and just wanted to see it. I was in China and just took the opportunity." He replied. "A fascinating place, I wonder what effect it has on the local ecology?"
At the guide's blank look, he explained. "What happens when the local animals fall in the springs?"
"Ah Sir, all animal hereabouts avoid Legendary Springs. It is natural instinct." The guide was getting increasingly puzzled. His usual customers did not just stand there and talk to themselves in English. His opinion was that this person was very strange indeed, possibly crazy. However he did pay rather better than the usual penniless martial artist, so he kept his opinions to himself.
"Well, I figure that any animal that fell in would be unlikely to have any descendants, so that makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint." the westerner muttered.
The guide was used to dealing with strangeness. However he found that having a slightly crazy foreigner talking to himself in an incomprehensible barbarian dialect while taking photographs was now getting to him, for some reason. This was not what he regarded as normal behaviour. He knew where he was with the obsessed, the violent and the manic-depressive. Quiet and reasonable people worried him. They were . . . unpredictable. After a while he decided to cut things short.
"If Sir wish to see pools, then view from cliff is very good." He suggested.
"Huh? . . . Oh. I don't think I want to risk that." Replied the westerner, looking at the cliffs. "They don't really look safe, especially as it is beginning to get dark. Why don't we set up camp and leave the day after tomorrow? I want to make a few more observations."
The guide watched as his customer walked slowly away from the pools. This was really rather irritating.
"He is very cautious one this." He thought to himself. "Now what . . . . oh yes, he is walking towards spring trap no. 15, one with picture of charging lost boy painted on it."
With that thought, he fished a high tech radio remote from a pocket and keyed in a few numbers.
"I'm most dreadfully sorry, Mr Customer Sir, but Legendary Training Ground of Accursed Springs have Legendary reputation to maintain."