Chuck might seem a little out of character at some points so sorry about that.
Disclaimer: Don't own Gossip Girl or the characters
Characters: Chuck and Blair
Summary: Chuck can't sleep one night and decides to visits his father.
The Waldorf house was quiet except for the ticking of Blair's clock. Chuck stared at the hands willing them to stop so he could sleep. These past few weeks had been hell for him, and he'd also made everyone's life around him a living hell. He wished he could go back in time and undo everything; his father's death, his call to his father that night, and hurting Blair. He had screwed up big time. It always seemed to be his fault. Whenever he tried to do something right it always turned out badly.
Blair shifted slightly and snuggled closer to his chest all the while sleeping. Chuck brushed back a few stray hairs that had fallen over her eyes, and tucked them slowly behind her ear. She looked so beautiful when she slept and Chuck cherished the few moments he got to observe her like this.
He was still amazed that she could still want him after all he had done to her; blogged to Gossip Girl about their sex life, left her on the helipad, and drove off in his limo when she told him she loved him. Blair was right he was an ass sometimes.
Chuck glanced at the clock; it read 4:50am. He sighed heavily; he knew he was not going to get any sleep tonight so he climbed off the bed careful not to wake Blair. He needed to see his dad. Chuck had never really gotten the chance to pay his last respects. Sure he had gone to the funeral service, but it wasn't like Chuck Bass to spill his guts to a church full of people. Even though his father hadn't been the best father in the world, he had believed in Chuck. Leave it to Bart Bass to finally tell his son he loved him only after he was dead.
Chuck opened the door slowly and glanced back at Blair's sleeping form. He could have stayed there and watched her sleep until morning, but he had some unfinished business to attend to. He closed the door and headed down the stairs. Normally he would have called his driver but tonight he opted for some fresh air. His mind seemed to wander as he began his walk to the cemetery and he lost track of time.
He didn't know how long it had taken him to get there but he was here. The gates were unlocked which surprised him. He had brought a key just in case. Some might ask where he had gotten a key to a cemetery and he would have said 'I'm Chuck Bass'.
He began walking slowly towards his father's grave. Bart's grave was in the middle of the cemetery and was quite elaborate compared to the smaller graves. Chuck couldn't help but think that this is what Bart had wanted; an elaborate grave. He always had to be better than everyone else.
Chuck looked at his father's face neatly engraved in the stone and noticed that he seemed to be smiling or rather smirking. Chuck shifted uncomfortably on his feet and contemplated on leaving before anyone saw him. Chuck looked around. There was no sign of life except for Chuck himself. He suddenly felt very cold and alone. 'You are standing among a bunch of dead people' he thought to himself.
"I don't even know why I'm here," he said suddenly. He swallowed and looked around afraid that someone might here him. 'It's five o'clock in the morning; no one goes to a cemetery this early except you.' He told himself.
He continued.
"I mean, who would visit their dead father who never loved them? But apparently you did, or at least believed in me. That's what Blair said." He ran his hand through his hair. "Why did you have to give me the majority share of your industry? Did you give it to me to prove that I couldn't handle it? I don't want it!" he nearly shouted.
"But I'll take it. To prove everyone wrong, show them that I can handle it, to prove to you that you raised a halfway descent son. Don't worry, I won't give it to Jack. He's probably a bigger bastard than you were no offense." He said remembering the many fights he and Blair had had about Jack.
"I made him fly back to Australia. I did some pretty crazy stuff to him too." He smiled remembering how hard he had tried to ruin Jack. "I told him if he ever came near me or Blair that I would kill him. He used Blair to get to me, to tear us apart. I nearly lost her. I can't lose her, she's all I have now." He stopped to catch his breath. He really wanted to talk to his dad. He had always wanted his father to be proud of him and he had let him down.
He looked up at the sky and for the first time in a long time noticed how beautiful the stars were.
"I'm scared." He admitted softly his voice cracking with emotion. He released a breath that felt like he had been holding for years.
"Are you happy now? I admitted it!" he shouted.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned grabbing it quickly.
"Ow, Chuck it's me." The voice said.
"Blair. What are you doing here?" he said releasing her hand.
"I should be asking you the same thing." She said rubbing her hand which was red from Chuck's grip.
"Here, let me see" he said taking her hand gently.
"I'm fine Chuck." She said taking her hand back.
Chuck winced at the loss of contact and hated that she had pulled away from him. "Don't pull away from me." He said softly.
"Me pull away? You're the one who's been pulling away and pushing me in the opposite direction!" she said sternly. She looked up at him noticing that he looked exhausted. He had told her earlier that he wasn't sleeping well and now it was showing.
"Can we not talk about this?" he said.
"Oh, you don't want to talk at five in the morning but you want to walk to a cemetery?" she chided him. "Besides its freezing out here." She said. She stepped closer to him and zipped up his coat and wound his scarf tighter around his neck. Chuck watched her do this with such care he almost smiled.
"I came to talk to my father." He said his voice a little hoarse.
"I bet that was a dull conversation." She stopped herself and looked up at him. "Sorry" she lowered her gaze to his coat as she finished buttoning him up. She patted his chest softly.
"There. Now you won't freeze to death. Let's go home Chuck." She held her hand out to him wanting him to take it.
Chuck looked at her small gloved hand. "Don't leave me Blair" he said suddenly.
"I'm not. I won't" she said confused. She stepped closer to him and brought her hand up to his face to cup his cheek. "Chuck what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry for all the shitty stuff I've done to you. But I hope you don't hate me. I understand if you do but-"
"I don't hate you. I will always be here no matter how far you try to push me away. Even if you hate me."
"I could never hate you Blair."
"Well, in any case I will be there. I'm sorry but you're stuck with me." She said playfully.
He smiled at her sudden change in mood. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world to have such a loving and beautiful girl that would always be there for him. He wouldn't hurt her this time. He cared about her too much. He faltered in his answering wondering if he really loved her. Of course he did, he just didn't know if it was a good idea if he said it. She had told him she loved him and look what happened. Her nose was red from the cold and Chuck thought she looked adorable.
"Blair Waldorf I-"
"Shhh… Let's get you home. I think your fingers are turning blue." She took his hand and started to lead him towards the car.
He didn't know if she had purposefully stopped him from what he was about to say. But somewhere they both knew that it was too soon for him, for them. In the future-and there would be a future, they had agreed. He couldn't help but feel that their future was coming sooner than they both thought. Like a sun about to rise on the horizon it would always be there waiting for the opportune moment to shine its light on the world.
"How did you know where I was?" Chuck asked.
Blair looked up at him and smiled. "Face it Bass, I know you."
Chuck couldn't help but match her smile as he looked down at her. "Yes you do Waldorf. Yes you do."
He put his arm around her shoulders and held her close as they walked towards the car. It was almost six now and it was getting lighter. He opened the door for Blair and she climbed in. Before getting in he looked around the cemetery one last time. He didn't know when he would be back and didn't think his father would mind. A ray of light shone through the trees at the far end of the cemetery. Chuck looked to see the sun slowly climbing the horizon.