I do not own Twilight and its characters or Happy Noodle Boy. The hobo, however, is my creation. This is the first chapter of my first story on ! I hope you enjoy it!
The Cullens played baseball like a storm in the secret field on the outskirts of Forks. Bella sat in wonder beside Esme. The most amazing feat was performed by Edward, who retrieved the ball so quickly from the surrounding forest that one could have missed it by turning his or her head for a short moment. Applause erupted when he struck Jasper out between second and third base.
It was a moist day, as it always was in that small town, and it caused the air to carry scents further and with greater strength to the vampires. This was how Alice detected the presence of her family's anticipated visitor. The others paused when they noticed that her attention was pulled away from the game. After the smell came the vexing squeak of wheels and the rattling of metal, which only the vampires heard. Bella shifted uneasily in her seat and was suddenly joined by her protective sweetheart. All waited in anxiety. Then, they waited some more. And furthermore, longer.
"That is no vampire," Emmet finally suggested.
"No, I don't think so, either," agreed Carlisle. "Whoever that is is much too slow to be a vampire, and I can't even identify the scent. It's…different."
"Alice," said Edward, "you said that you had seen vampires in your vision."
She met his eyes and communicated her mutual confusion by thought. Bella lifted her head with a hint of excitement.
"Hey, I hear it," she murmured to Esme.
Two distinct sets of footsteps could be heard. One was a rapid, "putt, putt, putt". The other was average-paced and heavy, smashing leaves and packing soil. The vampires could see their guests before Bella could. Quiet conversation broke out among the family. Edward's face squished into a grimace.
"What IS that?" he uttered in his uber sexy voice. Bella pressed her face to his stone shoulder and wrapped him in her arms.
"Edward? What do you see?" she asked him.
A moment later, she saw the visitors, too. One of the two was a grisly, grimy man who looked like a hobo. The other was a three-dimensional stick figure with numerous creases in its face. It was pushing what looked like a shopping cart full of dead animals and sombreros. They paused at the edge of the field.
After waiting for a moment, Carlisle strolled casually to a spot closer to them. He did so with a human pace. He greeted them with a neighborly smile and a wave. Esme rose to join his side. The stick thing wore a frown and the hobo's mouth was hidden behind tangled and matted facial hair. Carlisle began a polite salutation but was promptly interrupted by the unusual creature with the shopping cart. It squealed, then,
"You cry! Demonic androids, if only I knew thy names, I would strangle thee with pumpernickel!"
He (as we assume he was by the sound of his voice) tensed an accusing finger toward Carlisle.
"Oh dear," muttered Esme.