Hello, this is my first 'Hunger Games' story and hopefully, not my last. This story is inspired by my many sleepless nights and the thoughts that linger in my head at night just like Katniss.

In this story, Katniss thinks of Peeta when she thought he was dead because he was captured by the Capitol. This is a bit AU. Kind of OOC. I just imagine how Katniss would react when Peeta got captured and she already acknowledged her feelings for him. She would feel this way because I felt this way lol

Anyways, I hope you enjoy. If you enjoy, please don't forget to review. I would very much appreciate your words of praise or criticism.

My head hits the pillow and instantly, my mind begins to work. The bolts twist and turn, creaking and screeching as the machines in my brain conjure my fear in the night. The voices come and my body shudders. They tickle my mind as they whisper stories of what could have been and of what would have been. They retell the stories of my past and I'm suddenly paralyzed.

Flashes of memories flood in my mind and I am taken over by emotions buried in the past. I try to shut them off but it keeps coming. The rush of memories surges in my head and pierces my heart. I lie helplessly on my bed with my eyes closed and my heart constricting. I refuse to open my eyes. I fear of what reality bestows upon my damaged self. I let them consume me and the deeper I am in the darkness, the deeper the pain.

An image runs across my thoughts and my body jolts at the haunting presence. I pry my eyes open and the tears come. They run down my cheeks and I cover my mouth to suppress the sob that begs to come out of my throat. It hurts. My breath hitches and I choke on my saliva. I let out a muted scream. I can no longer contain the emotions that envelop my very being. My lips tremble and I cry.

The memories flood my mind - more of the bad ones rather than the good. It plagues my mind and tortures me. It pierces my mind – like getting pricked with needles, only multiple times. And it hurts and my mind bleeds with overwhelming thoughts of sadness, despair, and regrets.

I curl on my bed in a fetal position, my right hand clutching my chest where my heart lies. I scream in my head, telling the voices to stop, telling the memories to stop coming, to spare me from the sad remembrance of my past. But it doesn't work. One by one, images dance in my head and I hate myself for having such a vivid memory because I remember everything.

I remember the blue eyes that bore on my own and studied me. I remember the curve of his mouth and how his lips formed when it stretched to the side as he smiled. And his prominent jaw line that enticed me, that made me want to run my fingers over the side of his face and place kisses, trailing just below his left ear and to his right before I plant my lips on his own. I remember his pointy nose that I loved so much and how he looked so good when he turned to the side. I remember his laugh and the sound of his voice when he called my name. I remember the chills that ran down my spine when he whispered in my ear and I smile because he knew of the things that I liked.

"I love you," he would say. I remember the warm feeling that ran through my body, spreading to my fingers and toes every time he said those words. And I suddenly miss his hands - his hands that warmed my own and his strong arms that protected me. I miss the feeling of his muscles that enclosed my tiny body and with every touch he left, goose bumps followed. I remember the soothing words that comforted me and the word that I love to hear all the time.

"Always."

I remember everything and it hurts. And I wish I didn't. I wish I had forgotten. I would not be so heartbroken and scarred. The nightmares would not come. His face would not jump in my head and play with my emotions.

I am broken, scarred, and damaged. I live in my past where my memories eat away my sanity and my existence in this world. I am swallowed in this dark hole that I refuse to get out. I am trapped – trapped in my emotions and memories of him. There's a gaping hole in my heart that can never be patched because he's gone and I am alone.

I straighten myself on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I take a deep breath and there's that hallowed pain again, eating away my heart and the remnants of what used to be me that I painstakingly left behind.