I want to tell you a million things, but I find that I can't locate the words, organize them to make sense - and allow them to flow from the moistness of my mouth to your ears. I want to make your heart ache because you know the words have been created and strung together for only you... that no one else has ever heard these words, and that they belong to you now... tomorrow... forever.

But what if one day I do find the words? What if one day I finally tell you, and the words flow like air over the wings of a bird as she flies -so beautiful and full of complete truth... and you laugh? Or worse yet, they don't affect you? What if you treat them like any other words from the mouth of someone who means much less than I, and brush them aside? Would it feel like my heart has been clenched to the point of bursting? Or perhaps would it make my eyes cry until all the wetness of my body has dried thought their ducts, and I am no longer alive?

Somedays, when you're next to me and looking at me like I am all that matters, like I'm all that you'll ever need again... I think that I should take the chance of feeling as if death would be a better choice than to never tell you these words at all. I want you to know that I love you deeper, more fiercely than I've ever known to be true in all the history of man. I want you to know that your touch works magic upon my skin, calms me, excites me, makes me ache with want. That your eyes burn into me, and make me want to be perfect for you. They make me want to change who I am so you will always perceive me as beautiful.

But perhaps through all my imperfection, all my mistakes, and self-perceived uglyness... you still think I'm beautiful? Would it be so hard to imagine, I wonder? That when you look at me you don't notice the human variations in my skin, or my lips, or my fingernails... but that you see me as only myself. The person inside, the one that perhaps is hiding behind the kaleidoscope colour of my eyes. The one that is put together by a thousand million different peices of a puzzle that you would spend the rest of your life putting together simply because it makes you happy?

Then if that were true... wouldn't you already know the words I long to tell you? Wouldn't you know that I ache when we're apart, that I feel nothing but joy when we're together? Wouldn't itbe obvious to you how I feel, how I would capture a star for you should I be asked? Perhaps.

But then again... perhaps not.

No.

No I will keep my words.

I will keep my dreams of a love that time lays down and remains still for.

Becauseperhaps you don't feel the same. Maybe you don't feel as if this is it -this is all you'll ever need again... to lay with me, to touch me... to be touched and worshiped in return.

So I will remain silent and keep these words, these sonnets... these proclamations of undying love for you inside.

Unless...

Perhaps...

You ask me to tell you?

Only time will tell.

But time, it seems, is the enemy. It does not preserve love for some. It does not make it stronger... but weaker. It wears love away, and laps at the strength of it until it is no more. Until it has disappeared completely... and turned into a toleration.

Oh, the thought of that frightens me! The thought that perhaps, if I don't tell you... that my feelings will wain, and I won't need to lookinto your eyes and I won't need to kiss your lips until you smile in order to feel as if I'm finally complete. To feel asif I've finally found the other half of myself that I've been missing my entire life.

I am going nowhere. Have you noticed? I'm running in circles. I'm finding the nerve and losing it. I'm finding the words, and shaking my head as I set them free to wander once more.

This, of course, means but only one thing.

I must tell you.

I cannot wait any longer, can I? It would be a mistake to do such a thing.

I will tell you tonight. I'll show you with my hands, my lips, my words - how you are everything I'll ever need. I can only hope that you will return everything I'll be giving to you...

And hope that youkeep your laughter contained until I have left.

Deep, huh? LOL. ANYWAY -- uummm... hope you enjoyed? -tilts head- COMMMEENNNTTTTT... :)