Daryl was frustrated, and Carol sat down on the bed next to him and laid back out of his sight. He was afraid to ask the only question he cared about, but he knew he had to.
"When we were out by the car...what if I didn't show up?"
He dreaded what her answer would be, deep down he knew what she was going to do. He wanted her to say that she had some temporary insanity, or give some reason for wanting to leave so that he could understand. Her wanting to leave him was gnawing at his insides, and it truly terrified him. He had always been able to trust her, but that was a little trust lost if he had to be worried about her running away.
"I still don't know," She answered passively.
That was not the answer that Daryl wanted to hear. He figured she did know and she didn't want to hurt him. He was hoping she was looking for a reason to stay, and maybe he could give her a reason. He laid back next to her.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to leave me?"
Carol sighed. How could she explain to him that it wasn't about him, not exactly. That she wasn't the person he thought she was, and that she couldn't stand for him to look at her. Guilt was eating her up inside and she didn't want to be seen anymore. She didn't want to kill anymore, and she didn't want to watch people die.
"It's too much to explain," Carol said, "But it's not that I want to leave you. I love you."
"Yeah?" Daryl asked, taken aback.
"Of course," Carol said.
"I thought I wasn't ever gonna see ya again," Daryl admitted. "And then when I saw ya standin' there it was a miracle to me. It gave me faith again, and hope that things can be alright."
"Things aren't alright, Daryl."
"I know..." he said carefully. "I feel like I could lose a lot and still be strong – I have, but I don't feel like I could lose you. I don't think I can survive it. When I thought I did a part of me died. I didn't pray, I didn't dare pray for mercy, because I know I don't deserve it. I found ya once in the tombs, and I knew I wouldn't be able to find ya again. You don't get lucky twice. For some reason I've always felt pulled toward ya, and I just hoped you'd be pulled toward me, and ya did. You found me."
Daryl bit at his fingernail. Carol was silent.
"And now that we're together, I know I couldn't lose ya again. When I saw ya at the car, leavin' me, I didn't understand. I still don't. I know that yer carryin' somethin' that's too much for ya. I can take that from ya if you'll let me. I don't mind. The only thing I can't take is for you to leave me. I'm not saying it to make ya feel bad. I love ya. And if you don't feel strong, I'll be strong for both of us."
Carol looked over at him. His words touched her a great deal. Daryl did not open up very often. She reached over and grabbed his hand.
Daryl felt a rush of nervousness when she squeezed his hand. He said, "If yer lookin' for a reason to stay…maybe I can be yer reason?"
He said it so tentatively that Carol's heart swelled with the sweet sincerity of it. She could feel her eyes welling up with tears as all of the emotions of abruptly losing him also came back to her. She had walled up her heart and left no door, but here he was busting it down. She tried to speak, but was at a loss of words.
"Carol?" Daryl asked, not meeting her eye, "When you said you loved me, what do you mean?"
Carol didn't know how to answer, or what he wanted her to say, "I love you. It means what it means."
Daryl was frustrated and met her eyes again, "I'm in love with ya. What I mean is do you love me back...like that?"
Carol answered by bridging the distance between them, and kissing him on the lips. She rolled back away, "like that?"
Daryl laughed nervously, "Yeah."
"I think you know I do," Carol said, "I've never tried to hide it from you."
"I didn't know if you were teasin' me," Daryl said, "But at some point I figured maybe you really did, or I hoped it."
Daryl carefully interlaced his fingers with hers, not knowing what he should do next.
"Carol?"
"Yes?"
"Can, I kiss you?"
"Of Course."