A Love Since Forgotten: The Story Of A Dead Lover

Author's Note: Ok so, as you all may know I am Charlotte's Diary. I have come to with a purpose, to unleash the imaginations of myself and characters I rewrite. For my stories, my job is to make it so that you are all happy with what you read from me, and that you as readers and fellow writers can help me be a better writer, and I the same to you. So how about all of you that are reading this now kick back, relax, curl up, and read away on your phone, computer, or tablet, etc. Happy readings and may your state of sanity be ever in your favor…

Reminder 1: In my author's notes, I do not care to explain a characters back story or what to watch out for in the story or anything like that. To me, that ruins the story altogether because they are basically spoilers and I HATE spoilers.

Reminder 2: I do not take very negative criticism. Like someone said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" And I mean it, if you get upset when someone bashes on everything about your story, then what makes it ok for you to do it to someone else's? That's not acceptable so don't bring that to my story. But I do accept those good one's like the Beta's put out, if you are just going to go on and on about how my story sucks from here to there then can it and go somewhere else.

Reminder 3: I do not accept readers who review on how much they hate my story because I changed and tweaked a character to fit the image of my story. That is UNACCEPTABLE and will not be tolerated on my watch. I like to read anything, I used to read something called Winx I think? And I saw this girl who only gave her opinion on why this chick named Bloom is the greatest or whatever and that pretty much put her in a hole because A) Her story wasn't even a story at all, it was just her stating her own opinion of one character, which I'm sure is against this sites guidelines. And B) Everyone who read it gave her paragraph to paragraph debates on why they don't like the chick and that she needs to take her story down before she gets reported. Oh and don't get me started on how she did one of the earth, no story, just informal and not even 1K words. Unacceptable, report!

Ok now that I had gotten that out of the way how about we jump into this…..

Oh wait just to let you guys know, Prim does not exists in this story, I wanted to experiment with how that would turn out...

I was dead….and everyone knew it. An empty, hallow feeling taking over myself. The feeling inside that I had not to worry about anything anymore….The darkness, it caved in on me, for 5 years it caved in on me….For 5 years I was empty, hallow, dead….And I know, love had killed me….I had thought we would live together forever, but forever was cut short by the sound of a gunshot and a bullet to my head….damn….where did it all go so wrong?...

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I remember where it all began….where I had met him, where we had shared a life together, where it all ended, and where I am now…..

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December 4th-1994-Ekali-Athens, Greece

I remember that day, that crisp cold day where the snow fell just right. And when the wind wasn't too brutal, where kids can just come out and make snowmen and have snowball fights and then go inside for hot Coco and a Charlie Brown special or Frosty the snow man imported from America with their friends and family.

But my life was different; my Dad was never home, always at work. And I was left to be cared for by the help, who welcomed me with open arms. At first they only pretended to be nice to me for the money, but then they had grown on me, and I them, and then it wasn't about being nice for the money. It was about being nice because it was instinct to them.

This one maid, Lin Ju, a Japanese maid, had taken me in as the daughter she always wanted but never could have. And I had taken the liberty to calling her Mama, since she and I had shared a connection like a mother and daughter. But what kept our connection alive was that we had shared a similarity, I lost my mother, and she lost her daughter.

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I remember she used to cuddle me when I got scared at night. And give me cookies and some Green Tea and told me everything is alright. And after that she would tuck me back into bed and tell me an old ancient Japanese folktale to put me to sleep. She loved me, and her love was returned.

She was there to talk to me when I first bled and thought it meant I was sickly. And tolerated me when I got moody and sometimes lashed out. She was there when I needed support after my first break up, and held me as the tears kept coming.

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She was dead by the time I died….

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When my father would come home he would make me the center of attention. He would drop everything he's doing and pay attention to me. Even though I should have welcomed that, I pushed him away little by little. With no care to acknowledge his presence, I would take my comfort in Lin Ju again. In her motherly arms I would stay until the emotional pain went away, and until my father….my bastard of a neglectful father, went away once more.

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But this wasn't about my father or Lin Ju, but I still remember everything. I remember that day I was talking about. Lin Ju had wrapped me up in a Marc Kaufman fur coat and gloves with a matching knit brown hat and Ugg boots. I went out, looking upon the street full of children playing and laughing in the beautiful winter day. For a bunch of wealthy kids, they didn't need fancy toys to play with; they only needed each other and something fun to do.

I walked down the snow inhabited sidewalk. Some kids shouted hello to me, and some threw snow balls my way trying to catch my attention. I had known most of the children, but some were not to my liking.

"Hey you!" a bubbly voice caught my attention. I turned to see my friend Maya coming my way, her chinchilla fur coat glistening in the sunlight. I smirked at her, she was always full of energy; I remembered how she used to light up the room wherever she went.

And she was always deemed the beautiful one. With her light brown hair and emerald green eyes with her sense of style. Everyone saw her as an adorable little miracle no matter what she could do.

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She was the main one crying at my Funeral….

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"Hey…" I trailed off, she caught me in a death hug that I wasn't ready for.

"See you've got your new coat on today Ariel!" She beamed at me, taking my arm and leading us down the street.

"Uh yea, you know I don't dabble into real animal fur like you." I tell her,

I remembered the look she gave me, It was sad.

"You know I don't like it myself Ariel. But my mom says that I wear the latest of everything to be the best above everyone. Man this being 10 years old thing is a bummer, I don't get a say in anything." She huffed and crossed her arms.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. I was never really big on words…

"You'll be old enough to get a say in something….But right now the only thing you are the boss of is your room." I told her and she smiled and returned back to her bubbly self.

Sometimes I hated her aura of good-hearted nature; she could smile and be happy about anything no matter how terrible….I envied that….

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Ekali- a block away from Ariel's home

Maya and I had walked a whole block down the street. She laughed and giggled the entire way while I just smirked and continued to walk alongside her. We continued to walk until I felt the light, but menacing impact of a cold snowball to my pale but light pink cheek.

"Are you ok Ariel?" Maya asked me and patted my shoulder to comfort me.

I turned quickly in the direction of the snowball to find nothing. I scowled and turned back around only to feel the impact again, but this time it was aimed at my coat. This time I had gotten angry, I still remember how red-hot my face was.

"Show yourself!" I shouted in the vacant air. This time I could see a figure from the bush, the figure emerged and there stood a boy.

I couldn't make out his features but when he came up to Maya and I; his features were in the clear. Midnight blue hair, piercing grey eyes with hints of blue; pale skin with hints of color, and freckles. He was quite taller than me, but the way he looked and presented himself showed that he must have still been my age.

I scowled at him and he mocked me. "What did you throw those snowballs at me for?" I hissed at him, he smirked and presented a nonchalant look on his face and crossed his arms.

"Because I can silly girl, what of it" He said to me

"I'm not a silly girl!" I stomped my foot

He came a little closer to me "….silly…little…girl…" He trailed and teased me. By then I was livid.

I groaned and walked away, soon noticing Maya had taken her leave of me. She was across the street with some other girls.

The boy followed me. I spun around and screamed at him to leave me alone; he looked like he was hurt at my tiny outburst.

I don't remember that much of what happened after that. But I do remember suddenly on his front yard throwing snowballs at him and laughing. I remembered the smiles we both shared and the laughs we shared as well; I still remembered that cute pink color that came to his face when he got too cold from the snow being aimed at his boyish featured face. And I remember the soft goodbyes he had given me when he was called inside the house. And over the months I would grow a vast interest in him….

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I remembered his name being Derek Fernande and his smile as genuine and heartfelt as a baby's gullible face. The way he would speak with a fluent and elegant German accent, and how he would sometimes struggle with an English word as he spoke, even missing some in a sentence.

How he would come into the class room we shared and speak to everyone so kindly the room suddenly would light up even on a gloomy day. And how he would give the teacher an apple and ease his way over to his desk and turn over to greet me with a silent mouth hello and a cheeky dimpled smile that made me blush so hard I shrunk in my seat.

He would walk over to my empty table where I sat since Maya didn't go to my school; even though his friends would tell him I was below him. He would share his milk with me and make me giggle with one of his jokes. He would throw our trash away and escort me out to recess, I would have to force him to leave and play kick ball with his friends while I sit under the oak tree all the way at the corner of the end of the gate and read a book until recess was over. He would come rushing over to me so fast by then.

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Before then I hadn't known he had feelings for me, but I had realized this one spring afternoon walking home with him. We were walking home from school that day, he had made me giggle and every time an expensive looking woman with a Michael Kors bag walked by he would stop her and say:

"Michael Kors? You got money!" That would make those women laugh,

He would joke like that even though his family had his own fortune.

"Hey Ariel. You ever wonder? Will there ever be that one person that you will find that you want over everyone else?"

I stop "Where did that come from Derek?" I ask and we continue to walk again.

"Well…." He sighed before continuing "I know this girl, but she doesn't know that I have deep feelings for her. We have known each other for two years now, but I could never truly tell her how I feel…" He tells me.

"well, if you really like her then you should just come out with it. Walk up to her, and tell her how you feel, look her straight in the eye and let it out." I tell him

His face brightens up once more. And then he turns to me.

"Then I shall…Ariel….I….I….love you."

I could see the cute blush on his cheeks. And before I knew it, my cheeks were being held in his hands and my lips were touching his.

The tingling feeling in the pit of my stomach was all the new to me. I was lost into this new feeling, the feeling of his soft lips on mines for the first time was foreign, but sweet and tender and very welcoming. But soon the feeling started to fade as he pulled away from me slowly, I wanted to whimper because of the lack of touching once more, but I held my cries for longing.

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We walked together in silence after that…..holding hands tenderly…..

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I remember that was the last time I would see him for another 5 years….

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I still remembered when I had my things packed up; ready for the departure to France, and the help had already left except for Lin Ju. I remember the house now empty and father still away across the world, and Maya's teary face when I had given her my goodbye hugs and reassuring her I would keep in touch and more great times would be to come.

I had seen in her eyes that she hadn't believed me…..

And even I didn't believe myself when I had said I would see her again…..

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He had come to my house to say goodbye after hearing the news from Maya. He looked like he had been crying…He held me so hard he almost crushed my frail frame. He let go, but had given me a tender kiss that lasted forever and a heartbeat….

"I just wanted to say goodbye….I can't believe your leaving…." He trailed, his face pale and his eyes pleading with me, there was nothing I could do to stop this.

"I know but….I can't stop this at all….I wish I could." I tell him truthfully, I don't want to leave. This is my home and friends I'm leaving…

He looked so remorseful. "I know…But…" He closed his eyes in grief "Just….don't forget about me okay?" He pulled something out of his pocket and gave it to me.

I held up my hand and there was a platinum necklace with a sapphire shaped like a heart, its beauty dazzled me; shining in its glory, captivating me. I was speechless…..

"Take this. Please don't forget me, and come back when you get the chance." He wanted me to promise him, but truth be told; I don't think I would ever be back.

I hugged him once more, tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to leave Ekali, my home and birthplace. The start of my life, the sanctuary where I had come to get used to the usually crisp clean smell in the air, and the harmonious people walking around in their own worlds. The peaceful environment and stability of this town.

As the town car pulled off, I looked back. Maya and Derek were standing there, waving goodbye to me. I could still see their tears falling down their cheeks. Mines following behind.

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I never had the opportunity to tell Derek how I truly felt. And then and there I had wished I had….

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Paris, France-1995-Spring

Boxes stacked and scattered everywhere; the help shuffling everywhere to get everything in order; my father still nowhere to be found. The sight was nothing new, but my tears were. Lin Ju couldn't be with me since she had to help unpack. Even though my father tried teaching me to let the help do what they were trained for, I had taken the liberty to occupy myself by helping them unpack. My Ebony hair tied up, and casual sweats on; I helped carry boxes up and down the stairs of the very large town house. The help appreciated my sincerity to help.

It was nightfall by the time the house was fully furnished. The cooks had started on dinner and the aroma of dinner filled the room. I was In my room, looking out of the large floor to ceiling window out at the amazing view of Paris. My room was on the side of the townhouse facing out into the city on the third story, just where a good view of the Eifel Tower was visible. My room had cream-colored walls with burgundy trim with in-ceiling lights. The cherry wood queen sized bed stood against the wall in the middle with my name above the headboard. Three bookshelves stood to the left by the window and were filled with a mixture of books and antiques. It wasn't decorated with a girls fantasy of a room, but I cherished it regardless.

I grabbed a book from one of the shelves and plopped myself down on my bed to read. Ten minutes later the help knocks on my door quietly before opening. A middle-aged man name Simon with blue eyes who sported nearly balding grey hair and a shirt and black pants. And another man named Marcus who looked similar in age to Simon but his hair was a solid black with brown eyes and a shirt and pants. They both were carrying my fish tank.

"We are sorry to bother you Madam, but it seems that you have left your fish tank and aquatic animals downstairs." Simon says in a deep, elegant British voice.

I nod. "Oh, I forgot about that. You can just put it by the window there." I pointed to a vacant space next to the floor to ceiling window. They placed it there and I told them i would fill the tank myself. They nodded, bowed, and left the room quietly.

I got up and went downstairs to retrieve a bucket and water for the tank when I heard noises. I couldn't comprehend what was really happening but I knew it was an argument. I recognized a female voice, Lin Ju's.

I tip-toed to hide so I could hear the conversation. She was on the phone arguing, every word she was saying to the person over the line spewing out like deadly acid; I cringed.

"Well fuck you too then! You don't even deserve to call yourself a man! Let alone a father!" She hissed, instantly I knew it must have been about me.

I couldn't make out the muffles through the phone. but whatever was being said made Lin Ju angrier and angrier by the moment.

Lin Ju looked to open her mouth, but closed it before lowering her head, and quietly saying "I quit." and hung up, walking away and slamming a door in the process.

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Just then my heart stopped. Lin Ju...the one I called mother, leaving...

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I couldn't process this completely. To have someone walk away from it all, to leave someone that they truly cared for. I couldn't bring myself to come to reality, to try and accept it early; to see some light in it all. But I couldn't, I just couldn't. She was all that i really had in my lonely world, she was the one who would be with me when I needed most, she was the one who practically raised me...I just can't understand why she would up and quit, knowing that I would need her here with me the most.

Through my tears I ran upstairs, ignoring the help's questions and the constant knocking and knocking of my door. No one knew that Lin Ju was gone, no one knew she was the reason for my tears. I just shut them all out, plagued with every memory of her, the one that was my true mother. Gone...just gone...I just wanted to curl up and down now and then.

I guess I cried myself to sleep because when I awoke, it was dark and raining. I could feel a presence behind me, but my instinct didn't act to turn around and scream for help' i just stood still.

The figure kissed me on my cheek before whispering "I'm sorry." And getting up to walk out of the door and my life. From there i knew it was Lin Ju, and my heart ached once more as fresh tears streamed down my pink stained face. She had come back to say goodbye, but I knew that was the last thing she wanted to do...