This short story is what I thought would be a fun, little take on "The Miller's Tale" from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Hope you enjoy. :)
Operation 'Hardy' Seduction
(The Miller's Tale: Alison's Version)
Guys that know their share of astronomy are totally hot. Is that a weird fetish? Anyway, just sweet talk me about the moon and the stars and I'll definitely put out, no questions asked. So when that impossibly clueless husband of mine had offered to take in Nicholas—that intelligent, charming, unequivocally gorgeous hunk of Oxford scholar meat that I'd ever seen—as our boarder, I just had to get my hands (and certainly every other one of my rather… endowed body parts) on him.
Now, I'm not saying that I don't care about my husband. My John gives me a cozy place to live and ample food to eat, providing for me all the necessities that a husband should, I suppose… and his intricate carpentry skills are unmatched in towns all around, which I can proudly say I admire. But he doesn't… provide for me. Catch my drift? Okay, to put it bluntly, then: I simply CANNOT get the man to service me! And honestly, the thought of servicing him is a bit repulsive. I mean, he has to be going on, what, 100 years now? He's old and decrepit, with wrinkles in every place you can imagine. (Sadly for me, I don't have to imagine. Insert shudder here.) His skin has that peculiar wood shaving stench from his years of carpentry work that further adds to my gag reflex. As if that's not enough, his breath regularly reeks of rotten eggs… but that's beside the point. I guess I can't necessarily put all of the blame him; I DID agree to marry the guy, after all. But the fact of the matter is, my own fingers can only do so much, and it's damn well time that I enjoy my life for a change.
The problem is that I cannot, for the life of me, get that astrologically inclined Adonis to notice me. Not to sound vain or anything of that sort, but I have been told that I am quite the looker. My husband, of course, becomes a jealous maniac whenever any other man so much as looks my way. That old geezer keeps me locked up in this place—I can't even get as far as a half-mile radius from our house! One time I had taken a little solo trip to Oseneye to do some girly shopping for myself, and when John found out, he threw a raging fit about it and literally dragged my sorry ass back to town. The consequence? My imprisonment in my own home. I can't even go around Oxford as I please! But then, along comes sweet, sexy Nicky, wandering through town and needing a place to stay, while we conveniently have an open room in our house just waiting to be rented… oh, dear God, with a blessing as delicious as this, you should have known that I would succumb to sin… and sinning is what I do best.
Back to my main dilemma: getting Nicky to notice (and have sex with) me. He is obviously too engrossed in his studies to realize anything undeniably significant going on around him… mostly that I'm dying to jump his bones. It has been about a month since he has been living here, and there hasn't been an ounce of desire for me that I've seen in him. It's not like I've been painfully inconspicuous about my own desire, either; I've fished him countless compliments, let alone having my supple body pretty much on borderline whore display for him to appreciate. But he just… doesn't get it. It's like the guy wouldn't be aware of a pair of tits even if they were slapping him in the face! However, I've been conjuring an ingenious scheme that'll finally get him in the sack, since the whole playing "hard to get" charade hasn't been working for me. Today is the day that my plan, 'Operation Hardy Seduction,' comes into play, and I must be the aggressor. I will be the one who makes him own up to the name, Handy Nicholas! We might just have to change that name to Hardy, for reasons… that'll soon be very evident.
Luckily, my husband will be working in Oseneye until late this evening, so I'll have a good amount of time to work my magic. After John leaves in the morning, I begin preparing Nicky's favorite veggie stew (with pig bone as a base for extra flavor, since today would be deemed a special occasion in my book) and freshly baked bread for dipping—an aromatic meal that I know will stimulate Nicky's senses. I also whip up some mead, which I hope will encourage him to reveal a more lustful state of mind. Once the food is finished cooking, I tactfully place a bowl of stew, a plate of sliced bread, and a cup of mead on a carrying tray and make my way up the staircase toward Nicky's bedroom.
You may be wondering why I didn't just call for him to come down and eat, or simply let the aroma permeate upstairs and lead him down to me. I had initially thought that would work, but then I realized that bringing the food up to him would allow the opportunity for us to be in close, physical proximity within the intimate setting of his small bedroom. It would also make it easier to corner him lest he try to escape my advances. Smart, right? Anyway, back to the immediate story…
I arrive at Nicky's closed door and lightly knock two times. Hearing some paper shuffling and other movement from inside, I quickly run a hand through my hair and smooth down the folds of my skirt, touching up my appearance. As his footsteps come closer to the door, I take a deep breath and wait to meet Nicky's beautiful green eyes through the doorway.
"Oh, hey there, Alison… what can I do for you?" Nicky's smooth, deep voice sends ripples of desire through my body. Oh, Nicky… it's not so much a matter of what you can do for me than it is a matter of what you can do TO me. And vice versa, of course. I quickly compose my thoughts before I end up pouncing on him right on the spot.
"Hi Nicky! I just figured I'd come up and bring you some brain food since you've been stuck up here all day," I say, motioning toward the tray in my hands as I force my way past him and into his room. "Let me set this down for you!"
He thanks me gratefully and takes the tray from my hands, moving toward his worktable. "Mmm... I thought I smelled something good brewing downstairs," he mentions to me with a smile. (Oh, that smile. Cue the melting of my insides.) After he sets the food down, he takes a seat in his chair. "This looks delicious," he says, drinking in the aroma before proceeding to eat.
The success of entering Nicky's room with this much ease has given me a lot of confidence in completing my seduction plan. Now, I just have to lure him into that bed of his. Giving him time to finish eating, I explore the depth of his room. I peer from wall to wall, admiring the overall cleanliness and organization that would distinguish Nicky as a learned scholar. This is precisely the image that I expected to see of his living space—a reflection of his own air and appearance. However, I think it would look so much better if it were a little messier in here. I could be of great help in that department, if you know what I mean.
As I see Nicky downing the last drops of mead, I take the opportune moment to hover over where he is sitting. Lucky for me, his telescope is situated right next to his worktable—a prop that I can surely use to my advantage. I slowly bend over next to him, reaching over to touch the telescope on his other side. My arm squeezes my breasts together right under his nose in the process, giving him a generous view of my cleavage.
"Oh, wow!" I exclaim in an overly erotic tone. "Nicky, this telescope is HUGE! Can you really see the planets in the sky with this thing?" Glancing back at Nicky's face, I notice his eyes shift from my breasts to my eyes, and I can hear him force a gulp down his throat. He nods his head to answer my question, gripping the edge of his worktable tightly. Oh, yeah… I got this.
"You know… I find astronomy to be a very sexy subject." Alternating my gaze between his eyes and the telescope, I slide my hand down the telescope's length. Reaching the bottom end, I let my fingers play with the tip of the eyepiece. I can sense Nicky's breathing becoming nervous and haggard as he watches the distinct movements of my fingers. He clears his throat before attempting to speak.
"Uh, y-yeah, and well, tonight there's um, we're supposed to be getting a really clear view of penis, if you wanted to see. Wait, no, VENUS. Oh, God, I really meant Venus, if you wanted to see Venus… shit." I see that I've got Mr. Oxford Scholar stumbling over his words. Hmm, this is proving to be much easier than I thought!
"I think I'd like to take you up on that first offer, if you don't mind," I admit coyly and catch him by his member. "Oh, my! It looks like your telescope isn't the only thing that's huge and hard! Why don't we see if it's just as sturdy…?"
Nicky groans painfully in what I assume is sexual desire, but instead of instantly giving into the temptation like I expect him to do, he grabs hold of my hand and moves it away from his penis.
"Alison… I don't think this is such a good idea. I mean, God knows how much I want you. It's been taking all the restraint I have in me not to try anything with you all this time. But you're married. You're my tenant's wife. I really can't afford to get booted out of here in the instance that he finds out. Or worse… chopped up by his carpentry tools! I can't do this with you," he explains, apologetically.
Oh, no way am I going to let this be the end of it! My desire for Nicky, along with my pent up sexual frustration, are far too strong to simply be pushed aside by his own anxieties. It's time to bring on the waterworks.
"Am I not worth the risk? Me, an unhappily married woman, putting myself out there, risking it all for you to just notice me… all this effort was for you, Nicky! I'm in love with you!" Hot tears stream down my face, while the look on his face is torn. I continue my overly theatrical spectacle. "My marriage is a joke. John doesn't love me the way I need to be loved! I just want to be with you, Nicky. If I can't be with you, I'll die, I just know it!"
And with that, I launch myself at him, throw my arms around his neck, and smash my lips against his, passionately kissing him. Apparently the restraint in him vanishes the second my lips touch his; he picks me up by my thighs and I wrap my legs around his waist, straddling him as he carries me to his bed. Never parting our lips, he lays me down roughly on my back, hands roaming all over my body, eliciting waves of pleasure throughout my entirety. Just as his burning fingers are about to rip off my clothes, we hear the lock on the front door fumbling to be opened downstairs, signaling John's surprisingly early (and unwanted!) return home.
"Damn it, John's home!" Nicky says irately as he rolls off of me, running a frustrated hand through his chestnut colored hair. I sit up, trying to fix my own disheveled hair and clothes.
"Nicky… I still wa—" I begin telling Nicky that I meant everything that I said, but he cuts me off before I can finish, placing a gentle hand on my cheek and caressing it.
"I know. I want to be with you, too. But we can't risk John finding out about us," Nicky stresses, a deep frown etched upon his otherwise flawless face. I tell Nicky that I'll think of a way to keep John from keeping us apart. After a brief yet effectual kiss, I depart from his chamber and head down the stairs to tend to John.
Regardless of the fact that my encounter with Nicky was cut short by John's early return, I'm completely ecstatic; Operation Hardy Seduction was a great success, and Nicky actually admitted that he wants me! But now I have a new dilemma to solve: getting John out of the picture so that Nicky and I can have some long-awaited private time... and live happily ever after, of course. This is where I must look to the "queen" of strategic planning, Absolon, for advice. Although Absolon is male, John has allowed me to befriend him for a rather obvious reason, that which consists of Absolon's romantic interests in other men (which is of course kept secret, considering his reputation as a "man of God"). My beauty might intimidate other women from wanting to make friends with me, but nothing can get in between me and my gay best friend!
After deliberating the issue with Absolon, we devise a plan to keep John out of the house for a whole night, which would give Nicky and I the chance to have lots of time for our luscious love-making. All morning and throughout the next day, I lay in bed pretending that I am deliriously ill, calling out to God to bring me fast to Heaven, and having random fits as if my body is possessed. This completely freaks John out, and Absolon is there to console him. Using his credibility as a parish clerk, Absolon explains to John that he has witnessed many cases like mine in the Church, and the only way to cure me is for John to spend an entire night in Church praying to God for my recovery. John readily believes this story, and at dusk, he leaves with Absolon to spend the night at Church. Before Absolon closes the bedroom door, I see him wink at me, and I grin back at him, thankful for his help.
Once enough time has passed to be certain that John and Absolon have gotten far enough from the house, Nicky swiftly enters the room, clad in absolutely nothing—my favorite!
"Surprise, honey cake," he grins enticingly and hops into the bed right next to me. "I've been meaning to ask you something," he begins to say as I shed from my nightgown. "Are you the one who has been secretly serenading me from outside my bedroom window every night? Because that is so… freaking… adorable…" he drawls his words between each kiss that he places all over my face. Almost forgetting his question instantly because of his charming antics, I giggle, grab hold of his tantalizing, muscular shoulders, and bring him closer to me. As his electric fingertips roam down the center of my body, our lips meet once again in a burning, passionate kiss. Then, our love game finally begins, sending us both into countless spans of pure ecstasy throughout the night.
Having fallen asleep after the night's blissful activity, I am startled to become awakened by the resonant sounds of unrestrained yelling and heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs… oh, crap. What is John doing back home already? Before Nicky and I can so much as pull the covers up over our naked bodies, the bedroom door blasts open revealing a raging John, Absolon straggling right behind him.
"What the HELL is going on, here!" John booms, his murderous eyes focusing on Nicky.
"Whoa, John, honey, please calm down," I try to appease my husband, but apparently that's not so effective when you're lying naked next to another man. "Absolon! What happened? You were supposed to keep John away for the entire night!"
Absolon steps cautiously into the room, but I am shocked to find an indignant smirk plastered on his usually buoyant face. I am so confused. Something definitely isn't right.
"Absolon? Seriously, what the hell is going on, here?" I ask, exasperated.
"I'm in love with Nick, you whore!" Absolon screams at me, accusingly. Oh, I know he did NOT just call me a whore! Wait… what was it that he said before he called me a whore?
It is after I make sense of the words angrily spewed at me that I notice Absolon staring lovingly at Nicky. Whoa, hold up. My best friend is in love with MY heart's one true desire? "What the hell do you mean, Absolon! You can't be in love with Nicky… I'M in love with Nicky!" You have got to be kidding me.
Absolon shifts his amorous gaze from a nauseous-looking Nicky to my flabbergasted face, disgust evident in his features again after looking at me. "Please, girl, the only reason why I was ever friends with you in the first place was to get closer to Nick. We both always talked about how gorgeous he his. I'm the one who always visits during the night, pouring my heart out to him through song! And don't you remember me mentioning how I would just love to lick some honey off of those deliciously chiseled abs…"
"Oh-KAY, too much information. And YOU'RE the one who has been serenading me? What the hell, man!" Nicky butts in, wrapping one of the bed sheets around his lower half, and attempting to get up. However, the forgotten John in the corner of the room is still livid, and once he sees Nicky move out of bed, he leaps from his spot and tackles Nicky to the hard, wood floor. Pinning Nicky down, John begins to pummel his perfectly symmetrical face.
Absolon and I both scream simultaneously for John to stop destroying Nicky's face. Who knew the old geezer could pack punches that hard? Absolon reaches the wrestling men on the floor before I can, attempting to pull John off of Nicky. John simply hurls the fragile Absolon off of him; Absolon gets thrown into our bedside dresser, hitting his head on the corner and knocking himself unconscious. As John continues doing damage to Nicky (you would think Nicky would be able to take that aging man down, right? Wrong!), I jump out of bed and grab John's iron jack from under the bed. Hurrying toward my husband and my beau, I take the base of the iron jack and strike it against John's head. He instantly drops to the floor while Nicky groans in pain, covering his bloodied face with his hands.
So, I've got two unconscious psychopaths on the floor, while my poor Nicky now has a broken nose and two missing teeth. Unbelievable. Now, I'll need to come up with a convincing story to tell the rest of the town that will explain all of this ridiculousness. It looks like I'll need to scheme up something good… something juicy and forbidden that this small town won't ever forget. The scenario? Two male lovers—John and Absolon—because of their societal statuses, have a secret affair. But then… when I happen to find them out, they try to kill me, along with our innocent boarder, Nicky, who also knows too much about their relationship. Ooh, that's good… I'll go with that.
Okay, so you may be wondering, where is my conscience in all of this? Well… didn't I say that sinning is what I do best?
THE END (for now…)