Title: It's Always Been You
Description: It's been 8 years since Quinn and Santana have seen each other and, as fate would have it, they were on vacation at the same hotel at the same time. Quintana one-shot. Needed to write something fun to try to push through the writer's block for my other story. Enjoy! x
Rating: M
Laying poolside on my vacation in LA is exactly how I wanted to spend this entire day. It had been so long since I had been away from the office and was able to just leave the work back in New York and relax. The cocktails also didn't hurt.
After I finished off my fourth drink, I was well on my way to being completely relaxed when suddenly a shadow was cast over me. I had my eyes closed but I could see the light dim through my eyelids. Thinking it was the waitress coming back around to bring me another drink, I got ready to tell her my order when a sultry voice stopped me from speaking.
"Do my eyes deceive me, or is this none other than the infamous Quinn Fabray?"
I hadn't heard this voice in 8 years but I could tell who it belonged to without even a second thought. It still knocks the wind out of me to hear it even after all this time.
I opened my eyes to find the beautiful Santana Lopez in a tiny red bikini, or should I say rocking a tiny red bikini. It's a good thing it's bright out here and I'm squinting so much she can't tell how my eyes are lingering on her body. The 8 years have certainly been good to her.
"Well, are you going to say something or just sit there and gawk like a wierdo" she joked, interrupting my marveling.
"I was just making sure that you weren't some sort of mirage brought on by the hot California sun," I replied.
"Yeah or some alcohol induced illusion," she said with a wink as she took the chair beside me.
"Hey, I'm on vacation so I'm allowed a drink… or four" I say with a giggle. I just giggled at Santana Lopez. I need to go hide under a rock somewhere for a long time.
Instead of a snarky comment at my giggling, I earn a chuckle and instantly feel better.
"I was gonna ask what brought you to LA but now that I know you're just here on vacation, I've gotta ask, where do you live now?"
"I live in New York these days. I got offered a job at a firm right out of law school and decided that would work for me. What about you? Where'd the great Santana Lopez end up in the world?"
"I live in New York also and work at a producing agency there." She states simply, as if it's no big deal.
"Wow, working behind the scenes instead of center stage. What changed your mind?"
"Well, when I moved in with Kurt and Rachel, I started at NYADA after a while and realized that fit me more. I still love to sing but I grew up a lot and realized the only reason I wanted fame was because I wanted attention."
I couldn't help but be taken aback by what she had said. She was so different from the Santana that I knew from so many years ago. It was hard to match that Santana with this one… but I liked this difference.
"So, how is it that we both live in New York but haven't seen each other in years?" I ask.
"Well, I'm going to blame that one on you, blondie," I raise a questioning eyebrow at this as she continues, "you disappeared off of the face of the earth after Mr. Schue's non-wedding."
The horrible, Valentine's wedding that never was all those years ago. That was the last night I saw Santana, after our "one-time thing" changed so incredibly much for me.
That night opened my eyes and sent me into an incredibly strong identity crisis. No one from high school knows that I'm gay, not that I'm hiding, but just because I lost contact with everyone throughout the years. The fact that I'm attracted to women also isn't the first thing I like people to know about me, I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve. If people need to know, I'll tell them in one way or another.
I know the question and accusation is there in her voice for leaving after having sex with her and then never talking to her again.
"Yeah, well, I had a sudden realization that I had a lot to figure out about myself and I guess I just lost touch along the way." I say with a small shrug.
"What are you doing tonight?" she seems to blurt out.
I can't help but find a little humor in the embarrassed look she's giving at her question. It's fun getting her off her game a little, I can see the way her eyes glance over and scan my body every couple of minutes and the flush it brings to her cheeks. This flustered Santana is new also and I like the fact that I'm the one making her react like this.
"You know, because this isn't a conversation to have poolside, it's more one to have over drinks or dinner." She quickly adds.
"My plans didn't have too much variation from doing this," I say with a wave of my hand at the pool, "so I think I'll be able to swing dinner."
This earns me a grin, "Cool, since we're staying in the same hotel, you wanna just meet in the lobby around 8?"
"Sounds great to me, what room are you staying in, anyway?"
Her answer is short and simple, but holds so much, "216."
That number.
That room.
That night.
It's the same room number from the night that we spent together after the reception of Schue's wedding. I wonder if this is purely coincidence and if she even remembers the significance of that number.
I can't tell just by looking at her, she's painted on her unreadable mask that I recognize from so many years ago.
Neither of us know what to say, so we sit in silence for a beat and soak in the sun a bit more.
5 o'clock rolls around after easy conversation finds us again and I know I should excuse myself to begin getting ready but I can't bring myself to leave. I'd forgotten how much I missed her company. We may have been at each other's throats, but no one knew me like she did.
Finally, after another hour, I convince myself to get up and we part ways to go to our rooms and get ready for tonight.
After I get into my room, I hop into the shower to wash off the chlorine and sunscreen from being at the pool all day.
My mind keeps drifting back to Santana by the pool and the fact that she's staying in THAT room… in our room.
I keep getting more and more nervous about dinner tonight the more I think about her. I don't know her expectations or her intentions… or if she's involved with someone back home.
I'm working this whole night up and I shouldn't be. This is just two friends getting together for dinner while on vacation and catching up, nothing more.
As I step out of the shower, I know I can try and tell myself that's all it is but somewhere deep down I'm holding out hope for more.
As I step out of the elevator I begin searching for in the lobby for her before even registering that's what I'm doing. It doesn't take me long to find her by the fountain in the middle of the floor, sitting on a bench looking pensively into the cascading waters.
I swear my heart momentarily stops when I take in the sight of her. She's wearing a tight, black cocktail dress and red heels with her hair falling in soft waves against her shoulders. She looks so at ease, with no walls up, and I wish she could look like this at all times instead of the projection she puts forth for everyone else to see.
She notices me slowly walking towards her and a genuine smile crosses her face as she stands from the bench. I find myself mirroring the same smile towards her as she takes me in. It's been too long and I resolve to not let it be so long before we see each other again after we get back to New York.
"I have a car waiting for us out front to take us to our reservations," she says, being the first to speak.
She holds out her hand for me to take before we begin to walk to the front. This is definitely not something regular friends do on their way to a casual dinner… – no, I can't let myself over think before the night has even begun.
I take her hand, sliding my fingers effortlessly between hers as if this were a normal occurrence.
As if sensing my unasked questions, she says, "I didn't want to risk you disappearing on me before I had the chance to grill you tonight on your life for the past 8 years so I figured I'd ground you in the most solid way possible."
I quirk my eyebrow in question at this.
"Attaching yourself to me," she adds with a wink.
We arrive at the car and still she doesn't break our contact, clearly not wanting to separate herself from me in any way.
"Where are we going anyway?" I ask looking out of the window at the people passing by.
"Oh, Quinnie, you know better than to ask me that when you know I love surprising people so much," she says with a smirk.
It's true, she does love surprising people so much. I think in another life Santana would have been a party planner, and she would have been damn good at it too.
The car finally stops in front of a small Italian restaurant that's wedged between 2 incredibly tall buildings. You'd miss it if you didn't know where to look for it.
We walk in and the hostess greets us at the door, "Ms. Lopez, your table is right this way. We have it set up just the way you asked."
This surprises me, that's for sure. They know her by name? They have her table set up for her? How do they know her by name if she lives in New York?
The hostess leads us through the restaurant, which I may add is packed full of people, to the back. She opens double doors into a room with just one table in it and no one else in it.
We take our seats and the hostess leaves, letting us know Carrie will be our server tonight and that she'll be right out to take care of us.
"You must take a lot of vacations out here if they know you by name and set up your own private room, Ms. Lopez."
She gives me a smirk as if there's an inside joke I'm not a part of. She's just about to speak when our waitress comes out to take our drink orders.
"I think a bottle of our sauvignon blanc would be perfect for tonight, Carrie. Thank you" she says with a small smile.
"Yes, of course, Ms. Lopez." She replies and walks out of the room.
"'Our sauvignon blanc'?" I ask curiously.
She gives a small chuckle, as if I'm still missing something, "yes, Q, our sauvignon blanc. I own this restaurant so that's why I get treated like royalty here. I mean, apart from the fact that I am royalty."
I don't even reply to her joke, "wow, San, that's really great! I'm so happy for you. How did this all happen?"
"I worked as a waitress for a while before I became what I am today and the owner of the restaurant that's in New York really took a liking to me and when he passed away, he gave me the company." She says matter-of-factly.
This shocks me, leaving me speechless and leaving her room to move on with her story.
"I opened this one and I have another in Michigan. I may open another, but I haven't decided if that is actually going to happen or not." She finishes.
Carrie comes in, pouring us our wine and leaving the bottle in the ice bucket beside us. San was right, of course, this is absolutely perfect.
"Look at you go. I always knew you would do great things, San"
"You were one of the few," she replies simply.
"So, what else incredible things have you done with your life? Any leading ladies? Any other hidden talents you've developed?" I ask, hoping to squeak the question about the women in there without her thinking too much of it.
"Oh, I've developed many talents over the years, Q," she says with a sly grin and a wink, "As for the women thing? I am currently unattached. I had a serious relationship with someone for about 4 years that ended around 6 months ago. She was great, but there was just something missing, you know?"
Oh and I did know. I had tried to find someone over the years to make my heart skip the way Santana had that night of the wedding that never was.
"What about you, any nice boy settle you down with a white picket fence yet?"
It had been a long time since I've had to field this question. Yet again, separating myself from everyone from high school coming back to bite me, none of them knew anything about who I've become since we all parted ways.
"Men? Not in the slightest," I say with a small chuckle, "I don't play for that team anymore, San."
I could tell I had surprised her with this admission, so I continued.
"After our… one-time thing, I realized I had a lot to figure out about myself. Once I got past the gay panic, I realized I was so incredibly gay and that I couldn't believe I had fooled myself that long." I say with an outright laugh.
"Wow, I mean, I saw you checking me out by the pool earlier," I could feel my cheeks burn with that statement, "but I did not think you were full on Fabgay."
I rolled my eyes at the name, "yes, Santana, I am 100% gay. I had a few serious girlfriends but, like you said, there was just something missing so I couldn't go through with it."
"I can't believe I missed this news from the lesbian grapevine" she joked.
Again, all I could do was roll my eyes.
I looked at her again and I could see nervousness in her eyes as she geared up to ask me something.
"Can I ask you something, Quinn?"
Quinn. Oh, this must be serious.
I reached across the table and gently took her hand, "Of course, San, anything."
"Why didn't I hear from you after that night? I mean even after you got over your gay panic?"
One would think that since my head had been filled with Santana, she would be the person I would seek out after I straightened my life out, wouldn't she? But I just couldn't bring myself to, I didn't know if she'd want to cross that line, so I took the cowards way out and disappeared.
"I mean, we both knew what that night was for you and I accepted that. You were hurting because of Brittany and I was just a fill in. I couldn't possibly come back after not talking to you for months and ask for something I knew you wouldn't want."
The way I said that sounded so completely pathetic but honestly I don't care.
"That's what you think that was that night? That you were just someone to warm my bed while I waited for her to come back?" she asked, a mix of surprise and hurt showing on her face.
My silence must have been enough of an answer for her because she continued.
"That wasn't it at all. When I was with you in that room, I was with you, Quinn. I was there with you because I wanted to be. I had wanted you since the day I met you. You infuriated me, but I wanted you."
This was incredible to hear, but I couldn't help but hear the past tense and it stung a bit.
"When I didn't hear from you, I thought I had pushed things too far. I lost both of my best friends because I couldn't control my emotions. It sucked, Q. I have missed you for 8 years. 8 years later and I still can't stop thinking about that night. 8 years later and I still stay in room 216 at every hotel I go to."
"How was I supposed to know this, Santana? It's not like you did called me or texted me after it happened. It's been 8 years and I can't forget about you. I've been with women and all I could do was compare them to you." I shot back at her. This wasn't going to be all on me.
"I didn't think you wanted what I did. I didn't want to put myself out there any more than I had already and get hurt more than I did. Every relationship that didn't work out, they would ask what it was and it was you. No matter what I do, it's you. It's always been you."
With that, I lean across the table and kiss her. This has been a kiss 8 years in the making and it is everything I need it to be and more.
She pulls away and I think it's to tell me to stop but instead she says, "I've been waiting 8 years to kiss you again."
"I've been waiting 8 years for you to do it." I say effortlessly.
Wordlessly, we both get up and silently communicate that it's time to go. We walk out of the restaurant and thankfully the car is waiting for us.
We get in the car and the ride back to the hotel seems to take eons longer than it took to get to the restaurant. We climb out of the car and Santana takes my hand in hers, pulling me in for a long kiss, one that makes the world melt away.
When we separate, she looks at me, "your room or mine?"
"Ours" I simply say, because room 216 will forever be our room.
She simply nods, knowing what I mean before even having to explain myself.
We barely get in the door before I'm being pushed up against the door with my lips trapped in a passionate kiss. I had forgotten how amazing Santana's lips felt against mine. I had thought countless times about our kissing but the memories could not do the real thing justice.
I reached behind her back and began to unzip her dress. As she realized what she was doing she turned around so I could have a better angle. I walked her further into the room so we were by the bed. I moved her hair over and leaned in to kiss the crook of her neck and she leaned her head over to give me more access. I slowly began to unzip her dress, I wanted to slow things down from the throws of passion we had entered this room with.
Once her dress was completely unzipped, I let it fall to the floor and pool around her feet. I could see that she wasn't wearing a bra, eliciting an unintentional moan from my lips as I brushed my hand over the bare skin that should have been covered by a bra strap. She turned to face me, giving me a full view of her just in her lace, black thong. She was just as gorgeous now as she had been 8 years ago and sent my heart racing just as she had so long ago with just a look.
She leaned in and kissed me tenderly, showing that she wanted this to be more about emotions than just lust. I reached behind and began to unzip my own dress but her hands stopped me. She reached around, pressing her front to mine and slowly dragged the zipper down until I could slip it off.
She pulled me in and kissed me, conveying every word she could not say. Making me feel exactly what I had been missing for so long.
I laid down on the bed, bringing her with me until she was laying on top of me.
She pulled back a bit just to look into my eyes as she stroked the side of my face and I knew, without any words being exchanged, just how much this meant to her too.
I reached behind me and undid my bra, never breaking eye contact, and pulled it off so I could feel her skin against my own. I needed to feel every part of her.
I put my hand on the side of her face and brought her in to kiss her. Would I ever get enough of the taste of her lips?
I moved my hands down to her firm ass and gently squeezed it, drawing a moan from the beautiful Latina atop of me. She kissed her way from my lips to my neck and then to my breasts, taking one of my nipples into her mouth and sucking gently while palming the other.
She released my breast and moved her hands down to my underwear and slowly pulled them down and off, taking off her own in the process. I pulled her back down on top of me with my hand on the back of her neck, bringing her in for a searing kiss.
Her hand traversed its way towards my center, finding the heat that has been awaiting her attention between my legs since I first laid eyes on her this evening.
She began rubbing slow, small circles on my clit, causing my hips to buck involuntarily.
"Jesus, Quinn, you're so wet"
"All for you, San. Only you can make me this wet" I manage to get out through the quiet moans.
Running her fingers through my slit one more time, covering her fingers in my arousal, she buries two fingers inside of me.
With that I can't help but say her name breathily as she slowly begins to move.
Wanting to feel her, I manage to maneuver my hand between our bodies to the apex of her thighs. I can feel the heat coming from her core even before I touch her.
I slowly push my fingers through her folds, feeling more aroused just by feeling how ready she is for me. Without hesitation I push into her, causing her to stop her ministrations inside of me.
I begin to move in and out of her, taking my time to build her to her orgasm. After adjusting to my fingers in her, she continues her movements. I can feel that familiarly delicious burning begin to build in my lower abdomen.
I can feel myself getting close and I know she is too with the way her walls are starting to tighten around my fingers.
"Open your eyes, Quinn. Look at me, baby" she says, causing my eyes to flutter open.
I meet her eyes in the dimness of the light from the bedside table and the utter love I see in her eyes if my final undoing, with her name on my lips.
She soon follows, finding her release, never breaking eye contact.
As she lays atop of me, both of us trying to slow our breathing, I know this wasn't just sex. I've had just sex before. No, we just made completely beautiful love to one another. It had never felt like this with anyone before. The connection we had, not only physically but emotionally too had taken this to a completely new level.
With a small smile and a quick kiss, she rolled off of me to lay beside me. I moved over and curled up into her side, laying my head on her shoulder and draping my arm across her waist as she brought me closer by wrapping her arm around me.
We laid there for a few moments in peaceful silence and a wave of utter content washed over me.
"I love you, Quinn. I don't think I ever stopped since that night." She said, breaking the silence.
My response was immediate, "I love you too, Santana. I know I never stopped. What I've been searching for all these years, I'd only ever had with you."
She tilted my head up with her hand on my chin and brought me in for a kiss.
I laid my head back on her chest, knowing that nothing could be more perfect tonight if we tried.
I knew this vacation was something I had wanted, but I never thought I would find the one thing I needed by chance while here.