AN: I don't know why I wrote this. I really don't. all I know is that I had this scene in my head and now I am thinking Emily/Richard with Penny Lot, Lorelai/Luke and you know who (he's practically Voldemort, by now), rory/jess, i would really like, and April...I thought about it, and this monster of a fic came out. Obviously I need another show to focus on until the revival comes in November. Then I can rage about it… Lol
[I had Penny Dreadful, yeah that ended well Lol. I have Bones, essentially we are living the wonderful state of shipper bliss, if not for the next season, which is the last. As a born and raised catholic, I pray that ASP didn't do another shitty job and that Chris Carter (I am an phile and MSR shipper) doesn't mess this up again. That's all.]
AN2: warning there is someone who gets slapped… twice. Now, I do not condone violence in any way. But this happened in a similar fashion, in real life in my family: we are in the 40s, after the war and my grandma found out, idk how, that grandpa, shell we say went to another other pasture, and the moment he got home she went to hit my grandpa with a very heavy iron pan, and not talking about what she threw at him once he managed to get away. I, for myself feel that she was justified. They are dead now, but I feel like he's still paying for it… don't mess with Italian women. Just don't do it. Seriously.
Please forgive any grammar mistakes…I am trying to be better, I swear!
This takes place 7/8 after the April Twist
So here goes nothing….
It's all just a little bit of history repeating
And I've seen it before
And I'll see it again
Yes I've seen it before
Just little bits of history repeating
Michael and April had been friends since the moment they met at Chilton. Yes, Chilton. Because somehow his genius daughter had gotten herself into that school by herself and hadn't asked permission not to her mom nor to Luke. Anna had yelled and raged from New Mexico, but April had been adamant. It was her future after all.
And somehow Luke, once he found out about it, he just tried to calm Anna down, and assure her that he would be paying for school and be there for April.
So it was, that April had first moved in with Luke, but then, when finally Luke and Lorelai had finally decided to move back in with each other, it seemed that April moving in with them was a no brainer. Other two rooms had been added to the house and that was it.
For her part April, didn't really mind the new accommodations, as her father was happy, so she was happy. And the relationship between her and Lorelai had slightly been better.
The adjustment to the Chilton world hadn't really been an hurdle academically speaking. But socially she found herself to be less tolerant towards the rich kids every passing day. That's why, for her it still was a mystery when Michael Edwards, from one of the wealthiest families of Hartford, took a shining to her and pleasure into tormenting her. For her it had been, been there-done-that-move-along-sir-I-have-better-things-to-do-with-my-time-then stoop-to-your-level. So she had just ignored the boy. And that worked like a charm, because next thing she knows she's helping him with a test, and they had become good friends.
And all through Chilton she had dated here and there. He was dating, and leaving, and dating again, and breaking up again, with this Lisa Bell (whose father was one of the top manager of the company he worked for. Her mom, was in the DAR, whatever that was!). Insipid blonde, woo-I-broke-my-nail, kind of person. Needless to say April had tolerated the girl, just like she tolerated the Chilton "friends" that she found herself to be having in the course of the last three years.
Of, course, everyone, including Lorelai had thought that this back and forth with Lisa for Michael was a way for him to pass time and wait for April to get her head out of the books and in the real world. Michael was in love with her. And even Luke suspected that her daughter was in love with the boy. He was not happy about it, much to the fun Lorelai made of him.
For Emily and Richard, well they were sitting by watching and thinking that "it figures, the one that would end up with one from their world was not biologically related to them". But a granddaughter she was anyway, because Luke's parents had died, and they took the role surprisingly well on, but no, she had not came out to society, and it wasn't Lorelai or Luke that had put a stop to the idea, but April herself had been very firm about it. Ok, with the charity parties, but a nonsense such as a coming out party would be, no, it wasn't for her. So a smirk had started to form in their faces the moment they understood that something was up between their "granddaughter" and the Edwards boy.
It was senior year, when everything changed for April, when the proverbial shoe come out of nowhere and struck her upside the head almost saying "oh, you think you were better ah? Think again!".
A kiss during senior prom (she had come alone, thank you very much!), and a slap across the face later (he had gone with that insipid Bell girl!) and there they were together. Emily and Richard had been ecstatic, while Lorelai had worn a knowing smile for months. As for her father he just grunted the approval, but he didn't like it. He had made a point to repeat it to the boy. Yes because from that moment that Michael became boyfriend, for Luke he was, the boy.
One year and half later it fell apart. Shoes comes in pairs and if one drops, you have to be certain that the other is not far behind…
Both at the same college, Harvard, thank you very much. Michael for a business degree, like his father, she doing pre-med, and trying to get the residency at John's Hopkins. And that was April's plan. She really loved Michael, she really did. But this was going to be her future. And it was her dedication to earning that place in the most renown university hospital, that really pushed her to the limits of her commitment and the relationship over the edge.
One night, frustrated by April's absence, and the lack of their time alone together, and her being so busy with studies that she didn't really have time for him, that he had done the only thing he shouldn't have done.
He loved her. No, he was in love with her so much that he had missed her terribly. He had tried talking to her, he wanted them to be living together, but she wouldn't budge. She would not let herself be distracted from her goal, insinuating that his presence was a nuisance to her perfect life. So in a rage, waiting for his fifth drink at a party she was supposed to be attending, but renounced at the last minute, he decided after a little bit too many that he had it. So, not listening to his friends, who to be fair tried to stop him, he got into his car and made his way to the small town.
Next thing he knew he had, very publicly given her an ultimatum and proposed at the same time. Him, let's elope, right here right now… or else….wait, what?
Turns out, like father, like daughter. Because she just stood there on the steps of the diner, looking at the guy and somehow she couldn't seem to move or hatter a response of any kind. She was frozen to the spot. Almost cemented there.
After a couple of minutes, after he had walked away in a huff, she moved back into the diner, went back to the table, to her tea and to her books in the similar silence that had taken place almost eight years prior.
Honestly, April didn't have time to think about whatever it was with Michael and that point she had an important test to study for, and she had very little inclination to allow his drama queen tendencies to ruin this. She would talk to him in the morning and make sure he understood yet again that right now it was complicated and extremely busy, that she was sorry, but it would pass. And she would ask him if he was ok with it…again. Yes because she had asked if he was ok with it time and time again. And she had looked into his eyes waiting for the answer, and there was no indication of a lie. She had trusted him to tell her the truth and if that was the truth everything would be fine in the morning.
Of course, in stars hollow nothing ever stayed a secret. Luke had been informed the second he got back from his trip to Liz's house, and that fight near the diner had made the rounds to the inn, to Lorelai and Sookie. They had looked at each other for a long time, and when Sookie spoke Lorelai was surprised at what she said "it may be wise if you don't put yourself in the middle, unless she wants to talk to you specifically, otherwise let Luke handle this".
It came a little bit out of nowhere, that answer. But she understood. Remembering the first and only time they had talked about IT, HIM, the coldness and the latent resentment that April had for her were evident in that conversation, but now was long gone. They, she thought, had developed a pretty good relationship, and April had even bonded with Emily and Richard. She could help her understand, but she hoped it didn't come to that. She hoped that Michael was smarter and more level headed that she had ever been. Because she never wanted to see that expression, the expression that she had seen in Luke, on no one else. Let alone April.
After a phone call to the diner, and a talk with Luke, it was decided between the couple, to leave April alone. She would come to them if she needed anything.
Yes because, if Rory had needed her mom, her grandparents, and even Luke at times, April was the epitome of the independent woman. She was a no, nonsense girl. Practical car, family, and school and boyfriend. And that was it. No gray area. 2+2=4, much like Luke in that respect.
No risk of out of wedlock pregnancies or stealing a yacht anytime soon with her; and if any of those things happened, Luke would insist on checking for a brain tumor, so much it was out of her character.
No, April would be fine, she was sure.
Two hours later, her and Luke were cuddled on the couch, when April came in with a stack of paper and the inseparable laptop, muttered a goodnight to the couple, and went to her room.
Luke and Lorelai looked at each other, knowing very well that there was no way the girl would sleep that night.
That morning after April had woken up bright and early from her desk. Face-planted into the biology book, she looked around confused. And then she remembered the night before, and maybe she could spare the morning. So resolutely she took a shower, went to get a cup of coffee. In the kitchen she had found her dad cooking breakfast. They exchanged some pleasantries and then she had gotten into her car and drove all the way to Hartford to the Edwards mansion.
The maid that had met her at the entrance, told her that "Mr. Michael" hadn't come home that night and that was all she knew. She had offered April to wait for him in the living room, but April had refused. So she went back to the car, got in and took out her cell phone. Nothing. No texts, no messages. She had tried calling him, but nothing. And then around eleven his car made an appearance.
He had seen her car. He slowed down and parked behind her. They both got out at the same time.
"where have you been, I tried to call you , text you, the only thing I didn't try was smoke signals…"
"April…"
"and what the hell was that last night, have you gone insane?"
"April..
"I have never been so humiliated..."
"APRIL!"
"Michael!" April was shocked. He never yelled. Never.
"I drove to New York last night…" he said looking at the ground.
A sense of dread pervaded April "you drove all the way up to New York?!What for?"
"I slept with Lisa last night.."
"You… " so this is how it feels then, she thought. She was freezing all of the sudden, never mind that it was May…
"I went to Lisa last night and I slept with her… you haven't been around in weeks…"
"I haven't been around for weeks… I … oh alright… then everything is fine then… you are excused then…" she was having trouble breathing.
Michael continued undeterred by her sarcasm "when was the last time we spent time alone together… it was inevitable…"
"Inevitable?! I asked again, and again if it was okay. You said yes, to my face, and then last night, you asked me to elope out of nowhere and we are not even engaged… but two hours later you are in new York doing….her!?"
She looked at him in search for an answer… something, but nothing came but coldness "I don't know what to say…."
"you say this so matter of factly! you are not even apologetic about it. Like this is a normal behavior in this situation!? you… I cannot believe this! I can't even…." She was shaking her head. This wasn't happening. She was in disbelief. Then she looked at him, standing there with his arms crossed on his chest, and with a pout on his face, like he was the wronged party here. And now all she felt was anger "oh well…" and with that April did something that she had done only once before. She went up to Michael, her lips, a line across her face, jaws clenched, she looked at him in the eyes, raised her hand, turn it over, and crashed it into his face.
April had looked at him, he was shocked, holding his now red cheek despite the dark shadow from not having shaved that morning.
She looked coldly into his eyes "listen to me, because I am not going to repeat myself. You know me, or used to know me better the anybody else. I don't do cat fights. I am not driving all the way to NYU to slap her. She doesn't owe me anything. You, on the other, owe me at least the respect to say last night that you couldn't do it anymore and that we were over. You didn't. So I will do it for you now .OVER!" she took a deep breath "Do give my regards to Lisa when you see her! I am sure you will! you deserve each other after all." And with that she made her way to her car. Got in, and drove away, calmly. There's the other shoe, she thought.
On her way to Stars Hollow, it occurred to her that history tended to always repeat itself. What had happened to her dad and Lorelai… but, no! that would not be her. she was not like her dad. The love that she felt, now for her ex, had almost disappeared, she wasn't feeling it. It was like it wasn't there. And in its place took space pure and unadulterated anger and hate. Yes she was furious. He thought that this situation wasn't weighing on her? That she wasn't affected by this? That she didn't miss him? But he knew going in who she was. He knew, and he should've known better. Because now everything was ruined. No going back for them. She wasn't HER.
And she refused to take responsibility like her dad had done, for something that she wasn't responsible for! She didn't make him do it. She hadn't pushed him, making him trip and fall on her, while she opened her legs!
It was his decision, and his only. HE had decided to drive to NYU, HE decided to sleep with her. It was HIS fault. Not hers. She refused to be her dad!
No compromise of responsibilities here. Of this she always had been convinced. You cheat, you are automatically in the wrong no matter what. Because you cannot take that back. You cannot not delete the images that forms in your head, that she was sure, would torture her for weeks to come.
That's why she had taken her father defense all those years ago! And that is why she wasn't crying yet. She was too mad. How dare he? And he had been so blase about it. And with HER? No, she wasn't going to be her father. Michael Edwards could go to hell for all she cared!
Once at the house, she was relieved to find it empty, knowing that the day had dragged on past noon. She had to study for the damn test dam-nit! Not dwell like any other teenage girl! But she just was sitting there on the swing looking over the horizon. Hate and anger now had made way to pure numbness.
Luke and Lorelai had arrived home together and the first they noticed was April's car parked and the keys still in the ignition. Lorelai looked at Luke, who automatically made his way to his daughter's car, got in and parked in a more suitable manner, took the keys from the ignition, and closed it and then waited for Lorelai to park her jeep next to it.
Somehow this was worse than anything either of them imagined. For Luke because it was his daughter. For Lorelai who stared yet again at their mistakes right in the face. Luke took her hand and they made their way up to the house.
Renovated, yet again, in the now, bigger living room at the far end of the wall, where the TV used to sit, stood a glass door that opened on the back porch (new addition), where a wooden swing had found its home. And in that swing April was visible, just sitting there and staring ahead at nothing, Lorelai was sure.
Luke kissed Lorelai on the temple like he had done so many time before she told her "she's going to be fine, just live her for a while, she needs this, we'll get her at dinner time…".
Lorelai nodded and went about her chores, while Luke was cooking what she guessed was April's favorite meal.
She was in their bedroom, folding laundry when she looked outside the (new) bay window. April was just sitting there staring at nothing.
Was Luke like this afterwards? Was he staring at nothing? Was he numb like she had felt for the better part of that year? This was horrible. Nobody, but maybe Luke knew what April was thinking right now.
If there was ever any doubt about them being father and daughter it was dispelled also for her own parents. Luke always had a temper, mostly because of Taylor and Kirk and whatever other nonsense the town, and frankly herself came up with. And now it was clear that April was the same way. The slap was heard all over Hartford. Not the first time that April had slapped Michael. A non-wanted, inappropriate kiss was one thing, doing it the way she had done it…that was anger and revenge. Pure and simple. I hurt you, like you hurt me. Just like Luke beating up Christopher, but she had taken it up with the source of her heartbreak and not with the vehicle he had used.
She was sure that they would somehow find each other again, just like Rory, quiet unexpectedly had found Jess again.
After all, in the words of Logan Echolls, No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.
She sighed, taking one last look out of the window, and turned back on her laundry.
It was maybe when it was starting to get dark outside that she felt a hand on her shoulders.
"April? Are you alright?"
"Lorelai. no… I am not alright. I don't want to talk about it..."
Lorelai looked at April. And she made a judgment call in that moment, just like she would have done if it was Rory, knowing well that it could be bad. "There is a rumor that Lisa Bell has broken you and Michael up…"
"Lisa Bell didn't do anything. Michael did. He did it. HIS decision. I am not delusional. I knew the moment I saw him this morning that he was done… all he had to do was tell me. He didn't."
Lorelai nodded "You slapped him across the face?"
April turned to look at Lorelai "Did Emily call already?"
"While I was at work…" Lorelai sighed and sat next to April.
"If Emily is upset about my behavior she should talk to me about it, not you, you aren't responsible for this. She should not take it out on you! I am the one that slapped him. I admit I lost control. But he deserved it. He knows it, I know it. He was a coward. He behaved like a selfish child. He lied to me… and I had no intention of driving all the way to NYU…" she paused for a few seconds and then repeated "he lied to me, wasn't honest on how he was feeling about me taking so much time for my studies… and I was too busy apparently and that gave him all the reason to do what he did…well…who he did…" April sighed. Shook her head again.
"Emily isn't upset, but worried. It's not like you to be like this… your dad is worried about you, I am worried about you..."
April sobered up a little, sitting a little straighter, in a way that reminded Lorelai of Emily "You don't have to. This is today. I wallow today. Tomorrow I'll be fine. I refuse to fall apart for just any guy Lorelai. I am not dad. And when I said to Michael that it was over this morning, he understood that it was. And if he didn't after the slap then I don't know and I don't care and I never, EVER go back on a decision."
"April, are you really going to cut him out of your life? You have been friends for three years before…"
"I am not dad. I am not that strong. I can't do it. I can't go back and I don't go back as a rule. I don't change my mind about this things. I don't forgive, I most certainly don't forget. Right about now thinking about him disgusts me. I highly doubt I will change my mind in say… six to eight months." Lorelai knew it was a jab at her and Luke history. She wanted to make her understand but Sookie's words echoed in her mind. There was nothing that she could say in the boy's defense that would make April feel better, although Lorelai was convinced that in time April would look at things with more objectivity. But she knew that this wasn't about her, but about April. But that didn't stop the constricting of her heart for the girl.
So she just stood up, gave April a pat on her shoulder "your dad is preparing dinner… you should eat something."
April looked at her, nodded and made her way inside followed by Lorelai. And then something that she must have witnessed tens of times with the father- daughter duo. April went to Luke, he turned around, away from the stove, opened his arms and hugged his baby girl. No words exchanged, no over dramatic crying, just that hug. It must've lasted seconds, but for Lorelai enthralled as she was, it must have been hours. With a caress to her cheek, Luke winked at April, she nodded, and made her way up to her room and then into the shower.
As April made her way slowly up the stairs, Luke looked at Lorelai "are you ok?"
Lorelai nodded, but Luke with a smile on his face, rare as it might be to see for everyone else not allowed into their circle, opened his arms to Lorelai and she too crashed into the hug. Because it had been years and they had almost lost everything. She only hoped that April, with time and wisdom, might be able to have the same thing.
The end
Again I am sorry if there are any mistakes. But somehow I always only realize them when I re-read fics AFTER I publish them… I have no idea why. For the record I re-read this before publishing it three times…so yeah….
If you are so inclined… review!
madisondanes
