Chapter 1
It all started as just another day in the lives of six Canadian teenagers. Jen arrived at the usual table in the food court, extra large coffee clutched firmly in her grip, to find Jonesy, Jude and Wyatt already seated. Jonesy had already begun ranting over his incredible new job.
"I can't believe it, Wyatt!" Jonesy shouted. "You're looking at the new salesclerk at Not Quite Naked, the lingerie store!"
"Wow!" Exclaimed Wyatt, genuinely astonished at his friend's good fortune. "I thought they never hired guys. How did you manage that?"
"Eh," Jonesy shrugged, "I told them I was gay."
"Wait a minute," Jude interrupted between bites of his taco. "Didn't you already have a job at the lingerie store?"
"What? No I didn't, Jude!"
"Yeah, you did, bro. I remember you got the job so you could spy on girls while they were changing," Jude said as bits of taco meat sprayed from his lips. "Don't you remember? Jen had that huge zit on her forehead, and then that horde of zombies- Oh!"
Jude paused, his eyes bulging in shock and understanding, only to relax seconds later.
"Never mind, dudes," Jude said before returning to his lunch.
Jonesy and Wyatt looked at each other in bewilderment before turning back to their friend.
"Ummm, Jude," Wyatt spoke, "You okay there, buddy?"
Jude finished the last bites of his meal before letting out a huge belch.
"Never better, bro."
Jonesey and Wyatt looked back at one another in confusion.
"Jude, maybe you should stop eating at Wonder Taco," said Wyatt. "I think Julie might be putting things in your food, again."
"No way, bro. Me and Julie are on pretty good terms right now." Jude smiled. "We have ourselves a little arrangement."
"Arrangement? What arrangement?" Jonesy asked.
"Sorry, dude. Can't tell you."
The two boys both opened their mouths to speak before deciding to just . . . forget about it.
"Riiiight . . . So anyway, you have to keep this whole lingerie thing a secret from the girls. None of them know about this, and I don't want them to blow this for me," Jonesy exclaimed. "I don't just mean Nikki. You can't tell anyone. Not Caitlin, and certainly not- Jen!"
Jonesy froze as Jen collapsed into her usual seat at the table.
"Hey there, sis," Jonesy stammered. "We were just talking about . . . uh . . . sports . . . sports and . . . ummm . . . video games . . . sports video games!" Jonesy paused, looking towards his friends for help as they tried desperately to avoid his gaze.
"How long have you been listening?"
"Long enough, Jonesy. I heard everything," Jen said before taking a gulp from her coffee cup, "and honestly, I don't care."
"Whoa, are you feeling alright, Jen?" asked Wyatt. "You look exhausted."
"Uhhhh," Jen groaned as she slumped down in her seat, "I spent all night cramming for a big chemistry exam, but my stupid teacher had to go and get food poisoning at that new Italian place in the mall, so she pushed it back to next week! I feel absolutely exhausted!" Jen exclaimed before resting her head on the table.
"Jonesy," Wyatt whispered, "didn't you just get fired from that Italian place yesterday?"
"Shhhhhh," Jonesy replied, "She's mad enough already."
"Look, Jonesy," Jen yawned, "I'm too tired to deal with you right now, alright. I promise I won't blab to Nikki about your little bra and panty job, but if she asks me straight up, I'm not going to lie to her, got it?"
"Good enough." Jonesy smiled, "Thanks sis."
Jen could only manage a thumbs up before collapsing back in her chair just as Nikki and Caitlin joined them.
"Hey guys." Caitlin smiled as she donned her lemon hat and opened up the Big Squeeze. "How was your day?"
"Uhhhhh" Jen bellowed from her seat.
"Whoa," cried Nikki, "what's wrong with her?"
"She spent all night cramming for a test, but her teacher was a no-show." Wyatt explained.
"Rough," replied Nikki. "You gunna be okay there, Jen?"
"Huh?" Jen looked around in a daze before focusing her eyes on Nikki. "Oh yeah, sure, let me just finish my coffee."
With that, Jen pulled the plastic lid off of her coffee cup and began chugging the whole thing in one go.
"Uhhhh, Jen-" Nikki started as Jen held up her index finger, as if asking her friend to pause as she finished the last ounces of coffee. Finally, with one final gulp, the cup was empty, and Jen tossed it gently into the nearby trash can.
"Okay!" Jen exclaimed with a new found vigor. "What were we talking about, again?"
"We were talking about Jonesy's new job at the-" Jude began before being silenced by Wyatt, who clasped his hand firmly over the skater boy's big mouth.
"Dude!" Wyatt exclaimed.
"Shut up!" Jonesy followed.
"A new job? Oh, this oughta be good" Nikki smiled. "Okay, out with it Jonesy. What idiot was dumb enough to hire you today."
"Oh, well . . . ummm . . . You see, Nikki . . . Promise you won't be mad."
Before Jonesy could spill the beans, however, the gang was interrupted by a loud bang. At the table next to them, a young girl shot up with an astonished look on her face. She pointed at them, and with a gasp, exclaimed . . .
"IT'S YOU!"
The gang paused in confusion as they sized up this unwelcomed intruder. She was dark skinned, with long, braided hair, dyed purple. She wore a yellow tube top with sea foam green capri pants. On the table beside her was a laptop with a long string of numbers flashing on screen, repeating over and over.
"Uhhh . . . It's . . . who?" Jude replied, as confused as everyone else seemed to be.
"It's you! You're them! From the story!" The stranger rambled on incoherently.
The gang just stood there not knowing what to make of this seemingly unhinged individual. Finally, Nikki spoke.
"Look . . . ummm-"
"Sierra," the weird girl replied.
"Look, Sierra," Nikki continued, "we don't want any trouble, so why don't you just pack up your laptop and go find somewhere else to be . . . crazy."
"I'm not crazy," the strange girl replied. "My doctor said so!"
"Well, I think he needs to check again." Nikki countered.
"Uhhhh! Just look!" Sierra grabbed Nikki by the wrist and dragged her over to the open laptop. After fumbling with the windows, she opened up a tab to a site called FictionPress. A few clicks later, she had loaded up one of the stories as the rest the gang began to crowd around them.
"FictionPress? What's that?" Caitlin asked.
"It's a website where writers can post original stories," Nikki replied. "Poems, short stories, even entire novels; I posted a few of my works there when I was younger."
"Exactly!" Sierra exclaimed. "Now, check this out!"
The gang began to read the story on the screen. It had a strange title: 6Teenth Century. As they read, the gang noticed something . . . very strange; the story seemed oddly familiar.
. . . . .
Jonathan arrived, dressed in strange regalia. He smiled and greeted his friends.
"Ladies, gentlemen, one and all, Lord Jonathan has arrived!"
Lady Nicole laughed at the foolish nobleman.
"Nice outfit," she said mockingly.
"You like?"
The lady scoffed. "Hardly. You look like a fool!"
Jonathan laughed. "Insult me all you wish. I know you desire me."
The young lord turned to the rest of his friends. "Why these sullen faces?" He asked.
His friends replied in unison. "Our duties are appalling!"
Jonathan cried out, "Oh, I feel your pain, my friends, but fear not, for I have come to the rescue. My father has chosen me to organize the festivities for tonight's carnival."
Jacob rose to his feet in excitement as William sulked. "Wonderful, and meanwhile we must spend the afternoon toiling at our duties."
Jonathan laughed. "Do you, though? Why not simply feign injury and take the day off. I can sneak you into the festivities. Consider it a day of rest for all of your anguish."
Lady Catherine gasped. "Is that really possible?"
"Oh, yes, milady. There's a side entrance. I could easily sneak you in."
Nicole laughed. "It would be better than toiling away at our duties."
"I agree." William nodded.
Catherine smiled. "And anything would be preferable to toiling away with these wretched lemons."
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MINDS!" Juliet exclaimed. "There's no way I would feign injury just to frolic at some ridiculous carnival."
Nicole stared at her friend in bewilderment "Juliet, why ever won't you come?"
Juliet scoffed. "Do you forget that, just yesterday, I was reprimanded by Lord Halder!"
Jonathan laughed. "So what? I am reprimanded all the time for my behavior."
"Oh please, Juliet," Lady Catherine begged, "It will be ever so much fun!"
Juliet paused "Well..." The young maiden considered the offer for only a moment before snapping back to reality. "What am I thinking? NO! Don't you dare tempt me!"
Now it was Jacob's turn to speak up "Lady Juliet," he cried, "I believe it is your duty to take this day off. No, I dare say it is your destiny."
"Destiny?" asked William.
"Shhh! Let him speak," Nicole interrupted.
"Where would the human race be without a day of rest?" asked Jacob. "Why, we would still be godless savages, living in huts, eating bananas . . . and fish . . . and various other things, I suppose.
We are humans because thousands of years ago, our ancestors took a day off and invented tools. They decided, 'I'm not going to toil away at these pointless duties. I will instead build a small carriage out of rocks or maybe teach a cow to give me some milk.' Next thing you know, we are exploring the Orient . . . Which further illustrates my point because, even as the great explorers were leaving their footnotes in history, they recognized the opportunity for recreation. They said 'Behold the beauty of the Orient. Now, let us eat noodles and detonate fireworks.'"
Jacob turned to his friends. "I believe taking a day off isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman, and child!"
. . . . .
"Weird." Caitlin spoke as she finished reading.
"Yeah, right!" Wyatt responded. "This is exactly like that time we all skipped work to go to the amusement park."
"So it is true!" Sierra exclaimed. "You guys are my favorite online story. I've read all 93 chapters in your series!"
"93 chapters? Someone wrote 93 chapters of . . . this?" Wyatt asked.
"Wait a minute! Are you telling me the characters in this story are supposed to be based on us?" asked Jonesy. "Does that mean this Lord Jonathan guy is meant to be me?"
"Yeah, and I guess Lady Catherine is meant to be me." Caitlin replied.
"Come on guys," Nikki interrupted, "It's probably just a coincidence."
"You think so, Lady Nicole?" Jonesy teased.
"Definitely. I'm mean, seriously guys, we're just a bunch of teenagers who spend most of their time at the mall," Nikki said with a chuckle.
"Who in their right mind would ever write a story about us?"
The gang paused as they thought it over. Who would write a story about them?
"Wait," said Jude, "If they're supposed to be us, then why are they talking all funny?"
"Because, the story is set during the Elizabethan Era," answered Wyatt.
"Oh . . . So this Elizabeth chick is the one who's been spying on us?"
"No, Jude," said Nikki. "It means the story is set during the 1600s, and no one is spying on us!"
"I agree with Nikki," said Jen. "If someone had been spying on us, we would have known it by now. It must just be a coincidence."
"I don't know. It seems kind of suspicious." Jonesy replied. "I mean, what if someone's watching us right now, using us as some form of . . . entertainment."
"Yeah, freaky," Jude whispered.
"You got that right, Jude. No one spies on the Jonesmiester and gets away with it . . . without paying me royalties, that is."
"No one is spying on you!" Nikki shouted.
"I think it's kinda cool." Caitlin replied. "Having someone write a story about your life; it's almost like we're famous or something!"
"Yeah, and even so, who cares?" asked Wyatt. "It's not like it's affecting our lives."
The others began nodding in agreement, all except Jonesy, that is.
"You guys can do what you want, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this right after- Oh shoot!" Jonesy exclaimed as he checked his watch.
"Is that the time? I've got to get to my new job at the- I gotta go!"
With that, Jonesy dashed out of the food court as fast as his legs could carry.
"He's right," said Jen as she turned to leave. "It's almost three. If I don't get to the Penalty Box soon, 'Lord Halder' will put me back on probation."
"I better get down to the Khaki Barn," Nikki sighed. "The clones get uppity if I'm not there to torture them."
"I better get going, too" said Wyatt. "See ya!"
"See ya later, bro!" replied Jude.
One by one, they all left, until only Caitlin remained . . . with Sierra . . . and no one else.
"Hmmm . . . uhhhh . . . Sierra, was it?"
"Yes, Lady Catherine?"
"Just call me Caitlin, please?"
"Of course. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your character."
"Oh . . . I would love to," Caitlin replied, laughing uncomfortably and slowly backing away, "but I think a line is forming at the Big Squeeze and I have to-"
"Oh, that's okay," Sierra replied. "I have a big mission I have to get to anyway, and I have to get started."
"Mission?"
"I'll come by later and we can have a little chat." Sierra smiled. "After all, I know where to find you."
Sierra stood and stared, smiling awkwardly at Caitlin.
"Okay, bye." Sierra finally said before darting out of the food court. Caitlin just stood there, making absolutely sure Sierra was gone.
"Yikes! What a weirdo!"