BORING DISCLAIMER THAT NO ONE EVER READS: Star Wars isn't mine.
VERSION ONE: Boba Fett, his daughter Lara, and her date with Jacen Solo:
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IN THE LATE AFTERNOON:
Lara: It's okay, Jacen--really.
Jacen: Are you sure? I mean, he's not gonna shoot me or anything...right?
Lara: No, of course not. My dad's long since retired from the bounty hunter trade. And he hasn't shot anyone since Kyle.
Jacen: *turns pale*
Lara: Just kidding, Jacen! There never WAS a Kyle! And my father certainly didn't shoot him.
Jacen: But, about the fact that MY dad is YOUR dad's long-time enemy? I mean, your dad DID turn my father in to Jabba the Hutt.
Lara: Well...*frowns in thought* I wouldn't mention that your dad is Han Solo if I were you. But, really, Jacen, it'll be FINE.
Jacen: I hope so.
Lara: Bye, Jacen! I'll see you tonight!
Jacen: Yeah. *gulps* See you tonight.
THAT EVENING:
Lara: Hi Dad!
Boba Fett (with armor on): Hello, Lara.
Lara: Er...why do you have your armor on? I thought you got rid of it.
Boba: Just making sure it still worked.
*An armor-covered Boba Fett starts cleaning a blaster on a nearby table. Once he is done, he puts the blaster down among a dozen other weapons, including an Imperial disrupter, a Wookiee bowcaster, a flechette rifle, and...a ROCKET LAUNCHER?!*
Lara: Uh, Dad?
Boba: Yes, Lara?
Lara: Why do you have all your old weapons out?
Boba: Just doing a little maintenance.
Lara: Can't it wait til AFTER Jacen comes over?
Boba: No. You wouldn't believe how dusty they were getting in the basement...
Lara: Dad, this doesn't have anything to do with Jacen, now does it?
Boba (hastily): No, no, of course not.
*At the mention of her date, Boba reflexively checks the firing buttons on his weapons. Just to make sure they still work.*
*doorbell rings*
Lara (from upstairs): Jacen's here! *starts to run down*
Boba (still wearing armor): *reaches the door before Lara* I'll get it.
Jacen (looking very pale): Uh...hi, Mi...Mister Fett. I...I'm Jacen...here for your d-d-daughter...
Boba (his voice gruff from behind his face mask): Come in. *picks up blaster rifle from nearby table*
Jacen: *faints dead away on the front porch*
Boba (somewhat smugly): Well, it looks as if your date isn't in the best of health, Lara. Perhaps we should postpone this for another time?
Lara: DAD! YOU SHOT HIM!
Boba: I did NOT. He FAINTED!
THE SECOND TRY:
Boba (still wearing armor): *examines daughter's outfit* Lara, isn't that dress cut a little...low?
Lara: No, it isn't! What do you want me to do, Dad? Wear head-to-toe armor like you?
Boba: That wouldn't be a bad idea...
Lara (horrified): No way!
*doorbell rings*
Lara (in a tough, no-nonsense voice that she learned from her father): Dad, I'M getting it this time! And put that blaster DOWN!
Boba: Very well. *reluctantly puts blaster rifle in closet*
Lara: *opens door* Hello, Jacen. Well, what are you waiting for? Come in! Don't be so slow.
Jacen: I'm not being slow. I'm just taking a few moments to meditate on how much I love my life...and how much I'm going to miss it...
Lara: *laughs* Oh, Jacen!
*Jacen almost faints until Lara waves some ammonia under his nose*
Lara (smugly): I was prepared.
Jacen (still looking rather pale): Thanks.
Boba Fett (glaring at Jacen from behind his mask): *looks Jacen up and down* Lara will be home by 10:30. I will drive both of you to and from the dance. Do you understand?
Lara: Oh, DAD! We don't need an escort. Jacen has his OWN ship!
Boba (looking at Jacen's mode of transportation): That?! It doesn't even look space-worthy!
*Lara looks out the door to find a very old junky-looking transport ship*
Lara (being very quiet so her father won't hear her): What happened to the Millenium Falcon?
Jacen (embarrassed): Oh...that. Well...Dad wouldn't let me borrow his ship. Something to do with the time I almost crashed it into an asteroid field...
Lara: *rolls eyes*
*Boba grabs his blaster from the closet and walks the two teenagers to his ship, the Slave IV*
*Lara starts to get in back, but Boba stops her*
Boba: You are sitting up front with me.
Lara: *sighs*
Boba (stopping Jacen from joining Lara in the front): No, you sit in the back.
Jacen: Near the...cages?
Boba: Yes. Near the cages.
Boba (once they reach the school): Oh, and Jacen, if you don't meet me back here by 10:30, I will personally hunt you down and sell you to the Hutts.
Jacen (trembling): Y-yes, s-sir.
Boba (still managing to sound threatening): Have a good time.
AFTER THE DANCE:
Boba (yes, he's still wearing the armor): It's 10:28. You were cutting it pretty close, young man.
Jacen: *gulps* But I made it on time, sir.
Boba: Yes. Fortunately for you.
*there is a long pause*
Boba: Did you two have a good time?
Lara: Yes, Dad.
Boba: I'm going to drop you off, Jacen. Where do you live?
Jacen: Level 10, Blue sector.
*Boba Fett pilots the Slave IV to a very nice-looking house. Leia comes running out, Han Solo close behind her*
Leia: Ohh, it's Jacen's first date! Let's meet her and her parents!
Han: Right behind you.
Jacen (knowing that he doesn't need Force intuition to see what's coming): Bye, Lara! Uh, thanks for the ride, Mister Fett.
*Jacen tries to hurry out of the ship without letting his parents see who's driving, but Leia is too quick for him. She opens the hatch wide, revealing an armor-covered Boba Fett. Both sets of parents look at each other...*
Han (startled): Boba Fett?!
Boba (angry): Han Solo! *reaches for blaster*
*Lara quickly locks the glove compartment before her father can reach the blaster inside, and shouts,* RUUUNNN JAAACCCEEEENN!
And so ends Lara Fett and Jacen Solo's first date.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE: This is what happens when you see a commercial for "Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter" shortly after reading Tales of the Bounty Hunters...
Stay tuned for the next chapter: Grand Admiral Thrawn, his daughter Ruana, and her date with Ben Skywalker (the son of Luke and Mara Jade)
May the Force be with you!
VERSION ONE: Boba Fett, his daughter Lara, and her date with Jacen Solo:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IN THE LATE AFTERNOON:
Lara: It's okay, Jacen--really.
Jacen: Are you sure? I mean, he's not gonna shoot me or anything...right?
Lara: No, of course not. My dad's long since retired from the bounty hunter trade. And he hasn't shot anyone since Kyle.
Jacen: *turns pale*
Lara: Just kidding, Jacen! There never WAS a Kyle! And my father certainly didn't shoot him.
Jacen: But, about the fact that MY dad is YOUR dad's long-time enemy? I mean, your dad DID turn my father in to Jabba the Hutt.
Lara: Well...*frowns in thought* I wouldn't mention that your dad is Han Solo if I were you. But, really, Jacen, it'll be FINE.
Jacen: I hope so.
Lara: Bye, Jacen! I'll see you tonight!
Jacen: Yeah. *gulps* See you tonight.
THAT EVENING:
Lara: Hi Dad!
Boba Fett (with armor on): Hello, Lara.
Lara: Er...why do you have your armor on? I thought you got rid of it.
Boba: Just making sure it still worked.
*An armor-covered Boba Fett starts cleaning a blaster on a nearby table. Once he is done, he puts the blaster down among a dozen other weapons, including an Imperial disrupter, a Wookiee bowcaster, a flechette rifle, and...a ROCKET LAUNCHER?!*
Lara: Uh, Dad?
Boba: Yes, Lara?
Lara: Why do you have all your old weapons out?
Boba: Just doing a little maintenance.
Lara: Can't it wait til AFTER Jacen comes over?
Boba: No. You wouldn't believe how dusty they were getting in the basement...
Lara: Dad, this doesn't have anything to do with Jacen, now does it?
Boba (hastily): No, no, of course not.
*At the mention of her date, Boba reflexively checks the firing buttons on his weapons. Just to make sure they still work.*
*doorbell rings*
Lara (from upstairs): Jacen's here! *starts to run down*
Boba (still wearing armor): *reaches the door before Lara* I'll get it.
Jacen (looking very pale): Uh...hi, Mi...Mister Fett. I...I'm Jacen...here for your d-d-daughter...
Boba (his voice gruff from behind his face mask): Come in. *picks up blaster rifle from nearby table*
Jacen: *faints dead away on the front porch*
Boba (somewhat smugly): Well, it looks as if your date isn't in the best of health, Lara. Perhaps we should postpone this for another time?
Lara: DAD! YOU SHOT HIM!
Boba: I did NOT. He FAINTED!
THE SECOND TRY:
Boba (still wearing armor): *examines daughter's outfit* Lara, isn't that dress cut a little...low?
Lara: No, it isn't! What do you want me to do, Dad? Wear head-to-toe armor like you?
Boba: That wouldn't be a bad idea...
Lara (horrified): No way!
*doorbell rings*
Lara (in a tough, no-nonsense voice that she learned from her father): Dad, I'M getting it this time! And put that blaster DOWN!
Boba: Very well. *reluctantly puts blaster rifle in closet*
Lara: *opens door* Hello, Jacen. Well, what are you waiting for? Come in! Don't be so slow.
Jacen: I'm not being slow. I'm just taking a few moments to meditate on how much I love my life...and how much I'm going to miss it...
Lara: *laughs* Oh, Jacen!
*Jacen almost faints until Lara waves some ammonia under his nose*
Lara (smugly): I was prepared.
Jacen (still looking rather pale): Thanks.
Boba Fett (glaring at Jacen from behind his mask): *looks Jacen up and down* Lara will be home by 10:30. I will drive both of you to and from the dance. Do you understand?
Lara: Oh, DAD! We don't need an escort. Jacen has his OWN ship!
Boba (looking at Jacen's mode of transportation): That?! It doesn't even look space-worthy!
*Lara looks out the door to find a very old junky-looking transport ship*
Lara (being very quiet so her father won't hear her): What happened to the Millenium Falcon?
Jacen (embarrassed): Oh...that. Well...Dad wouldn't let me borrow his ship. Something to do with the time I almost crashed it into an asteroid field...
Lara: *rolls eyes*
*Boba grabs his blaster from the closet and walks the two teenagers to his ship, the Slave IV*
*Lara starts to get in back, but Boba stops her*
Boba: You are sitting up front with me.
Lara: *sighs*
Boba (stopping Jacen from joining Lara in the front): No, you sit in the back.
Jacen: Near the...cages?
Boba: Yes. Near the cages.
Boba (once they reach the school): Oh, and Jacen, if you don't meet me back here by 10:30, I will personally hunt you down and sell you to the Hutts.
Jacen (trembling): Y-yes, s-sir.
Boba (still managing to sound threatening): Have a good time.
AFTER THE DANCE:
Boba (yes, he's still wearing the armor): It's 10:28. You were cutting it pretty close, young man.
Jacen: *gulps* But I made it on time, sir.
Boba: Yes. Fortunately for you.
*there is a long pause*
Boba: Did you two have a good time?
Lara: Yes, Dad.
Boba: I'm going to drop you off, Jacen. Where do you live?
Jacen: Level 10, Blue sector.
*Boba Fett pilots the Slave IV to a very nice-looking house. Leia comes running out, Han Solo close behind her*
Leia: Ohh, it's Jacen's first date! Let's meet her and her parents!
Han: Right behind you.
Jacen (knowing that he doesn't need Force intuition to see what's coming): Bye, Lara! Uh, thanks for the ride, Mister Fett.
*Jacen tries to hurry out of the ship without letting his parents see who's driving, but Leia is too quick for him. She opens the hatch wide, revealing an armor-covered Boba Fett. Both sets of parents look at each other...*
Han (startled): Boba Fett?!
Boba (angry): Han Solo! *reaches for blaster*
*Lara quickly locks the glove compartment before her father can reach the blaster inside, and shouts,* RUUUNNN JAAACCCEEEENN!
And so ends Lara Fett and Jacen Solo's first date.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE: This is what happens when you see a commercial for "Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter" shortly after reading Tales of the Bounty Hunters...
Stay tuned for the next chapter: Grand Admiral Thrawn, his daughter Ruana, and her date with Ben Skywalker (the son of Luke and Mara Jade)
May the Force be with you!