I am sure you all have noticed I am on a Castle binge, but for the life of me, the ideas won't stop coming! I write what I can, when I can I suppose. So anyway, here is another one! The whole part in italics is a flash back.
ALSO, if you squint, REALLY hard, there is a tiny itty bitty Firefly reference and a tiny reference to Headhunters, just something that fell together when I realized Adam Baldwin was in one of my favorite bad movies! :)
Enjoy! I own nothing!
Present Day:
"Castle…" she said through the fog of sleep. He grunted in response. "Rick…" there was something different in her voice for that one. Enough for Castle to force himself to be alert enough to respond. She was reaching for him in the dark.
"I'm right here Kate," he whispered, scooping her against him. She buried her face against his chest as he slid one of his legs between hers and draped an arm over her waist.
"Mmm, thanks," she murmured, rubbing her cheek against the soft fabric of his t-shirt.
"No problem," she felt it rumble through his chest, more than she heard it. As Castle drifted back to sleep, he focused on the feel and the warmth of her body against his. God, she felt good. He tried to dismiss that thought from his brain. This situation was not what it seemed.
Hours Earlier:
She was panicking. She moved from room to room like a caged animal. If she stood still, the quiet was too quiet and dark was all encompassing. With that thought, she flicked on every light she could and turned on the TV, trying to break the trap. It wasn't working. She didn't want to be alone. She grabbed her phone and dialed a number without thinking.
Castle righted his overcoat and straightened his bowtie one last time before he left his loft. He was forced into attending some charity event that Gina insisted would help the sales of his book. He would much rather spend the evening at home watching movies with Alexis, but try as he might he couldn't get out of it. As he started down the hall, his phone rang in his pocket. Beckett. He stopped and leaned against the wall as he answered.
"Beckett, what's up?" he wondered.
"Are you busy?" there was something strange about her tone, but Castle couldn't quite put her finger on what.
"Not really, just headed out for the evening, what's up?" he repeated.
"Oh," it was only one syllable, but it said a lot. Especially when quickly followed by, "somewhere important?" Castle wondered what she was getting at. He had a feeling something wasn't right. He still couldn't figure out what it was, but it was enough for him to decide he was no longer headed towards his car. He had a feeling there was a change of plans in order.
"No, not important," he lied. "What do you need, Kate?" he asked one more time.
"I, well, no, my apartment…" she started, not making any sense. "Damn it Castle!" she growled.
"What did I do? You called me. I just asked what you needed," he chuckled.
"Can you just come over?" she asked, sounding exasperated.
"Sure, gimme a minute to change and I will be right over," he replied without hesitation. Everyone had one thing they would drop everything for. Castle had two, Kate and Alexis. And Kate was asking. He rushed back into the loft and haphazardly pulled off his tuxedo, leaving pieces strewn about his room. He quickly tugged on his favorite jeans and pale blue t-shirt. On his way out the door, he grabbed a more casual jacket, but stopped when he realized he should tell Alexis where he was headed. He bounded up the stairs and softly knocked on her door.
"Dad? I thought you already left…wait you changed…" a puzzled look covered her face when she answered the door.
"Yeah, change of plans, Beckett called," he answered quickly.
"You have a case?" Alexis assumed.
"No, I really don't know what she needs. She wants me to come to her apartment," he explained.
"That seems odd," she observed.
"I get the feeling something is wrong, so I am going to check it out," he shrugged.
"Something is wrong with her inviting you over or something is wrong with Beckett?" Alexis checked. She was trying to figure out if her dad thought he might be walking into a crime/police related trap or if he simply thought there was something bothering the detective.
"Something is wrong with Beckett. You know if I thought there was something wrong with her invitation, I wouldn't go," Castle answered.
"Yeah, right," Alexis snorted. Her dad followed Beckett around like a sick puppy. If she asked him to jump off a bridge, he would. Castle narrowed his eyes. "Go, hurry, your damsel in distress awaits," she teased. Castle rolled his eyes.
"Alright honey, I'll see you later, try not to behave too much," he chuckled.
"Bye Dad," she smiled, kissing him on the cheek before he left.
Beckett drummed her fingers on the counter. How long ago had she called Castle? Where was he? Her question was answered by a knock on the door. She rushed towards it and pulled it open. She stilled when she saw him. His jeans hugged his hips with no sign of a belt under the hem of his untucked t-shirt. She bit her bottom lip; she had never really seen look so casual. And his shirt, the fabric looked so soft; she had trouble not reaching out to touch it, not to mention the color made his eyes stand out more than they usually did. She gathered her hair off her neck and held it there in a mock ponytail as she gave him one more overlooking and sighed heavily.
"Oh, you should go," she decided finally, dropping her hair. Castle sent her a bewildered look.
"I just got here, and you asked me to be here," he reminded.
"Rick…Castle, this was a bad idea," she mentioned, backing away from him.
"Rick is fine," he interjected. She narrowed her eyes. He threw his hands up in defense. "I was just saying". He watched as she crossed her arms across her chest. To be honest, she was more frustrated with herself than him. Why did she have to call him? Oh, that's right she was secretly in love with him. Didn't everyone call the person they were secretly in love with when they didn't want to be alone? Yeah, right. "Kate, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice much softer and losing the cocky edge it normally had. The use of her full name tugged at her, filled her with warmth, like a strong shot of whisky. Is that why he insisted she call him Rick? Did he feel that too? Or better, did he want to feel that too? Is that why she avoided calling him that? She didn't want to encourage those feelings? Whoa, her mind was everywhere tonight. She needed to calm down. That was why Castle was here, as a friend. To help her calm down. To ease her panic. She just needed to remind herself. Oh and tell him too.
Castle stepped into the apartment and softly clicked the door shut behind him. He was going to give her space, but he wasn't leaving. There was obviously something wrong. He could tell she was very much in her head and he wanted to pull her out. He knew just how dark and scary it could get inside one's mind. That's why he tried to spend no longer than an hour at a time in his own.
"Castle, I just needed some company. But I don't want you to read anything into it. I just don't want to be alone," she sighed. She expected to see a triumphant grin on his face as she admitted to needing him, but instead his eyes were soft.
"Ok, whatever you need. I am at your disposal. No questions asked," he responded without hesitation.
"Really?" his immediate answer threw her off. She expected at least one why.
"Yes, really," he chuckled, easing his jacket of his shoulders and hanging it by the door. Beckett took a few cautious steps forward and set her hands on his rib cage and looked up at him, judging his reaction. Making sure his offer was truly genuine. Castle swallowed thickly. She was so close and she smelled like cherries. It took everything in his power not to dip his head and kiss her. Her arms slid around him and hugged him tight. His whole body was tense for a moment before he returned the hug.
"Thanks Castle," she hummed against his chest. She let her eyes fall closed. If she was honest with herself she could stay like that forever. In his arms, safe and warm. Safe. That was an odd concept. She was a cop who felt safe with a writer. She took a deep breath, inhaling the combination of his soap and spicy aftershave. She had to let go before this became more than a friendly visit.
"Always," he whispered, running his hand up and down her back a few times before she released him and walked towards the kitchen.
"So…" he started, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had no idea what to do or what to talk about when all he wanted to ask was what's wrong. And he promised he wouldn't.
"You hungry, Castle?" she called from the kitchen.
"Uh, I could eat," he shrugged, still not moving from his spot by the door. He took a deep breath and started across the room. "How about we order in?" he suggested, knowing she probably didn't have a whole lot of food.
"My thoughts exactly," Beckett grinned, flashing a couple menus. "What are you in the mood for?" she wondered, flipping through the menus.
"Whatever you want is fine. I'll eat anything," he stated, leaning back against the counter.
"Pizza?" she checked, not really liking any of the other options.
"You order, I'll pay," he offered.
"Castle, you're my guest," Beckett objected.
"We'll just see who gets to the door first," Castle grinned, a playfulness dancing in his blue eyes. He looked away as his phone buzzed in his back pocket, making a strange noise from being pressed against the counter. It was Gina, probably having a cow. He was officially late for the event he was supposed to be at.
"Something important?" Beckett wondered, watching his brow furrow before he returned the phone to his pocket.
"Nope," he half lied. Gina could deal. Yes, this was important to her, but to him, there would always be another charity event. Kate needed him right now. He moved out of the kitchen and to the bookcases along the far wall. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of all of his books lined up in the correct order. It wasn't a pride thing; he was just flattered that she found his books intriguing. "I could sign all of these for you," he offered, turning his head to look at her. She was tucked into the corner of the counter, the phone resting between her shoulder and her ear. She was obviously on hold, twirling her hair between her fingers.
"That's alright, Castle," she laughed with just a hint of a blush. Her laugh was warm and comfortable. He could stand for her to laugh more. The person on the other end of the line picked up and she pulled her eyes away from him. He continued to watch her. She had pulled her hair up in a sloppy ponytail and was dressed in NYPD t-shirt and soft black pants. Perfect for a movie and some pizza. With that thought, Castle turned his attention towards the next bookshelf, full of movies.
Castle was so enthralled by the many choices in her collection; he didn't hear her sneak up behind him.
"Anything good?" she said in a tone that was meant to startle him as she grabbed his sides. He made a very un-masculine squeak and jumped out of the way.
"Jesus Kate," he breathed.
"Did I scare ya?" she teased.
"I'm not in that good of shape, you could have killed me," he pointed out. Beckett rolled her eyes.
"You don't look like you're in bad shape," she mused, a hint of a tease still in her expression.
"Was that a compliment, Detective Beckett?" Castle fired back with a waggle of his eyebrows.
"Take it however you want," she shrugged.
"Definitely a compliment," Castle decided, continuing to peruse the movies.
"Oh just pick one!" Beckett groaned.
"You pick," he offered. Beckett rolled her eyes again and rolled on to her toes to reach the highest shelf to grab the movie she wanted. Castle tried to spare her the trouble.
"I could have…" Castle's voice trailed off as their bodies gently collided and his fingers brushed hers against the movie case. He looked down into her dark eyes and the whole world stood still. Again. God, he wanted to kiss her. Beckett subconsciously licked her lips. She could see the heat in his eyes and she barely resisted moving her arm around his neck and pulling his lips down to hers.
The moment crashed down around the sound of the doorbell. "Pizza's here!" Castle announced, wide eyed, remembering his challenge earlier. The movie they were holding clattered to the floor as they dashed towards the door. Castle was there in three large steps, but Beckett wasn't far behind. At the last moment she launched herself on to his back in an ill-fated attempt to send him to the ground. But he was sturdier that she expected and compensated for her sudden weight by bending forward. He quickly pulled the door open with her still on his back.
"Um, your pizza?" The young man at the door said awkwardly as he took in the scene in front of him. Beckett righted herself so her arms were around Castle's neck and her legs around his waist. He straightened up.
"You are not paying," Beckett ground out, pulling on his ear, hard.
"Ow, ow, ow, yes I am," he persisted, reaching around for his wallet. Beckett used her knee to move his hand out of the way. Castle moved his hand to grip her leg. "Katherine Beckett, I am paying for this pizza," he stated. Beckett gasped as his fingers pressed against her inner thigh. A place his hand certainly didn't belong. It was enough of a distraction to allow Castle to grab his wallet and pay the young man who was probably itching to get back to the store and share this "war story" with the other drivers. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself, thinking about how the story would play out. How would the kid process what he was seeing? Why did he think they were in such a compromising position?
Beckett still clung to Castle's back as he walked back towards the kitchen with the pizza. She rested her chin on his shoulder.
"You are so stubborn sometimes," she commented with a sigh. She felt a whole hearted laugh roll through his body.
"Me? You jumped me!" he retorted, setting the pizza on the counter.
"Yeah, but you recovered well," she praised.
"Why thank you Detective Beckett," she couldn't see it, but she could hear the smile in his voice. "But you really hurt my ear," he pouted, touching the ear in question. Beckett brazenly turned her head and left a quick kiss on the top of the ear she tugged on so mercilessly moments earlier. The room was suddenly thick with tension again. She felt Castle's breath catch. His phone buzzed in his pocket again. Beckett could feel it vibrating somewhere near her thigh. "Your phone is going off," she mentioned, moving past the awkward moment. Castle moved back towards the counter and let Beckett slide of his back.
"I noticed, will you grab it for me?" he asked, trying to put his wallet back together after shoving money at the pizza guy. Beckett deftly slipped his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen.
"It's Gina," she informed. Castle spun to look at her and made a face.
"Ignore it," he requested. Beckett did as she was told and set the phone on the counter before hopping down. "You ready to eat?" he wondered. Beckett nodded and pulled two plates out of the cabinet above the sink.
"What do you want to drink?" she asked as he busied himself, filling their plates.
"Whatever you're having is fine," Castle replied, grabbing his phone before he took the two plates to the couch. He scooped up the movie they dropped earlier and set out to figure out her entertainment system. "I didn't even look at what you picked, what we are watching?" he wondered, as she sat down on the far end of the couch. He handed her a plate.
"Next of Kin," Beckett smirked. Castle raised an eyebrow at her.
"Never heard of it, will I like it?" he wondered. Beckett shrugged.
"I never know with you," she laughed. Castle grinned at her before turning his attention back to the TV as the movie started. His phone buzzed across the coffee table. Gina again. He went to ignore it once more. "Why does Gina keep calling and you keep ignoring it like it may be death on the other end of the line?" Beckett questioned, pausing the movie.
"Because it very well may be. I sorta stood her up," he informed.
"Oh, like a date? Oh." She realized Castle stood Gina up in favor of coming to her rescue. "Castle, I didn't realize...if you have to go…"she trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty.
"No, no Kate. It was a professional obligation, some charity event I didn't even want to go to. She's just upset that her prize winning writer is not there for her to show off," Castle explained.
"Are you sure?" she checked.
"Be here with you watching a movie rather than in a monkey suit with Gina who constantly tries to straighten my tie? Absolutely. Any day of the week," he answered affirmatively, reaching for the soda she brought for him and popping the top. "and twice on Sundays," he added with a wink. Beckett rolled her eyes yet again.
"At least answer the next time she calls, put the poor woman out of her misery. She probably thinks you died," Beckett requested.
"And she's worried about her alimony," Castle agreed. This time Beckett simply shook her head. His life was so strange. Two ex wives, celebrity friends, disposable income. She could only imagine. She noticed his phone lighting up yet again. "As you wish," he sighed, putting the phone to his ear. He quickly pulled it away as Gina let into him.
"Richard Castle I swear to God…" was all Beckett heard before Castle moved from the couch. He pressed the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he took their plates to get seconds.
"Gina, Gina, I know. Something came up," he replied.
"Richard, it is hard to promote you when you are not here," she repeated.
"I said I know," he repeated, his voice more stern that the last time.
"You have been looking for an excuse to get out of this all week. Do you just like the make me look stupid?" she ranted.
"Gina, I'm sorry. I don't know what else you want me to say," he sighed. Beckett stood from the couch and padded into the kitchen. She stole the phone and let Gina finish her latest rant before addressing the woman.
"Gina, this is Beckett. This is my fault. I needed Castle for something this evening, a mandatory meeting with the captain regarding the squad's evaluations next week. Since Castle has helped raise our closure rate, his presence was requested. I didn't realize he had a previous engagement. I am very sorry and so is he," she lied smoothly.
"Oh, well, um ok. I guess he isn't just goofing around at the station house," Gina sputtered to a stop.
"No, he's a real asset to our team," Beckett mentioned, begrudgingly. As expected, a cocksure grin crawled across his face. She shoved him in the shoulder.
"Well, then I should let you get back to your meeting," Gina ended the call.
"We have evaluations next week?" Castle asked.
"No, but Gina doesn't know that," Beckett smirked.
"Oh naughty detective," he grinned.
"I didn't want you to be in trouble because to me," she stated.
"Well, thanks," he responded genuinely.
"Any time, partner," she smiled. A confused look crossed Castle's face.
"So that part about me being an asset? Was that a lie too?" he wondered.
"You're not bad to have around," she shrugged, grabbing her plate and walking back to the couch, leaving a befuddled Castle in her wake. He turned his phone off and left it on the counter as he went to continue the movie.
"Ok, so the phone call distracted me, what is going on?" Castle asked. Beckett slid closer to him on the couch, their legs and shoulders now touching.
"That is Truman Gates," she started, pointing at the screen.
"Patrick Swayze's character?" he checked.
"Yeah, and that is his brother Gerald. He has another brother named Briar, but we won't see him until later. Truman is a cop in Chicago, but he is from the backwoods of Kentucky somewhere. His brother moved to the city to make some money, but he really wants to go back to Kentucky and Briar, the other brother wants him back in Kentucky too," she explained.
"Ok, got it," Castle said as the screen changed to a woman playing violin in what looked like a church. "Who is that?" he whispered. He could easily figure out what was going on in the movie, but he much preferred to have her tell him. She obviously really enjoyed this movie if the way her eyes lit up when she talked about it was any indication.
"Truman's wife. Just watch," Beckett replied, slightly annoyed. Castle did as he was told for about another five minutes when the screen changed again. This time it was a restaurant where a man was joining another man's family for dinner.
"Who are they?" he asked.
"Castle," Beckett groaned. "Two of them are the mob, and the other one is the son of the boss and wants to get into the family business. If you would just watch, you'd know that," she sighed.
"Sorry," he said quickly and watched for a moment, taking in the conversation on the screen. "That Joey, if you add a little scruff and about ten years, he looks like an old friend of mine," he observed. Beckett grabbed Castle's wrist and pulled his arm around her shoulders. He tensed for a moment before she curled into his side. Her head came to rest over his heart. He looked down at her as she squinted at the screen.
"Ya know, if I add a little scruff at about twenty years to that guy, he looks like this rough and tumble gang detective who has a reputation for getting his partners killed," she mentioned.
"Interesting," he commented, his fingers toying with the ends of her hair like it was the most natural thing to do. He kicked his shoes off and extended his legs so his feet rested on the coffee table.
"Rick, you ok?" she asked absently, enthralled with the movie. He assumed that was why she let his first name slip. But man, did it sound good falling from her lips, intentional or not.
"Yeah, just had to stretch my legs," he replied, stroking his hand down her arm. You are anything, but ok! His mind screamed. The urge to kiss her was still gnawing at him and if the fact that she cuddled up to him said anything about it, she might not shoot him on the spot if he tried. But again, he promised he'd just be her friend tonight. Damn.
Beckett brought her hand up to rest on his sternum. She could feel his steady heart beat and even breaths. She wasn't sure what made her decide to move towards him, but from the far end of the couch she could tell this movie would be much more enjoyable tucked against his warm body, surrounded by his spicy scent. Plus he said he was at her disposal, so she took advantage. Just a little. She moved a little closer, if at all possible. What would it be like to do this every night? Come home, curl up with him on the couch until bed. Her heart fluttered at the thought, causing a shiver to roll up her spine. She shook her head. Again she reminded herself this was a friendly visit.
"Kate?" she felt her name rattle through his chest cavity as he said it. She looked up to see his crystal blue eyes dancing across her face, checking for any sign of distress. He obviously felt her shiver.
"Just a chill," she smiled. "I have to pee, do you mind if I pause it?" she changed the subject.
"No, I will be awaiting the epic conclusion while you relieve yourself," he grinned. She rolled her eyes for the millionth time, but if she admitted it, his strange comments were part of the reason she loved him.
When Beckett disappeared into the bathroom, Castle stretched out the length out the couch. His large frame was somewhat stiff from being crowded in the corner, but he would deal with a little stiffness if it meant he got to cuddle with Kate. He hummed a tune a drummed his hands on his chest as he waited.
Beckett had to smile at the man on her couch. He was lost in his own little world, humming a tune to God knows what, adding in percussion with his hands. She would love to spend one day in his mind. She could only imagine what she'd uncover. His brain worked like nobody else's she had ever met. She was willing to admit he was some kind of genius. There were days she was envious of it, but at the same time she didn't know if she'd want to put up with the sleepless nights and sheer loss of focus she knew he was plagued with from time to time. Even if he never admitted it to her. She moved closer to the couch, deciding her next move. He looked up when he heard her feet shuffle across the hardwood.
"Oh, hey, sorry. I was just stretching out. Just let me…" he trailed off as he started to pull into a sitting position.
"No, no, you're fine," she stopped him, but she didn't move any closer. She stood there, nibbling on her lip, watching him.
"What is it, Kate?" he was starting to wonder if he had something on his face.
"I'm just trying to decide if I were to stretch out with you, if you would read too much into it," she smirked.
"Not if you don't want me to," he replied easily, wanting so bad for her to do just that. He would give anything for her to lie down next to him, even if she claimed it didn't mean anything. The subtext was screaming at him, but she requested he ignore it, so he did.
"You promise?" she checked. She knew if he felt anything like she did, she was asking a lot from him. Plus it was Castle, when wasn't he reading into something. Or thinking about her. No, she wasn't conceded. She could just see it in his face. The sincerity in his eyes. She had a feeling his feelings for her were as strong as hers were for him. She was honestly surprised they had gotten this far into their evening with out something happened. They were like two unstable elements ready to combust. But she had asked him to be her friend and he was obeying, for once. So they would continue their evening as friends, even if they were toeing the line.
"I promise," he said with a soft smile. Beckett carefully climbed over him and tried to settle between him and the back of the couch. She accidentally sent an elbow into his ribs. He responsively grunted.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly.
"It's ok, get comfortable," he encouraged.
Once she was settled, he turned the movie back on so they could watch what he called the "epic conclusion". She traced her fingers across his chest as she watched and he toyed with her hair. It was comfortable and…natural.
"That was awful," Castle chuckled as the credits rolled.
"I know! Isn't it great!" Beckett beamed, pushing against his shoulder so she could see his face.
"Kate, it was like the mob verses the rednecks! They made animal sounds to communicate!" he pointed out.
"It's my favorite bad movie," she laughed.
"I guess even the bad movies need fans," he shrugged. She nodded, breaking into a huge yawn. "Looks like somebody is sleepy," he observed.
"Mmm, yeah," she mumbled against his chest as she let her eyes fall closed. The steady beat of his heart lulled her into a light sleep. Castle thought for a minute. He had been in this position with Alexis many times. The trick was to get Kate to her bed without waking her. He managed to twist so Kate was still against his chest, but his feet were now on the floor. He scooped her up easily and carried her to the bedroom. He carefully set her down and placed a kiss on her cheek. He planned to leave a note and simply slip out, but she grabbed his hand as he tried to walk away. "Stay," she requested. He looked down at their hands, trying to articulate a response.
"Ok," it was all he could come up with. He tried to let go of her hand so he could go make up the couch but she held fast.
"Stay here," she clarified. He swallowed thickly. Her eyes fluttered open, meeting his in the dark room. "Please" she added softly. She moved to let him join her in the bed. When he lay down, she curled into his side, sliding her hand up under his t-shirt to rest on his stomach. She felt his muscle twitch in response. He set his hand on top of hers and rested his cheek against her hair as he fell asleep.
Present Day:
Beckett woke slowly. It was one of those mornings where the blankets were just right and she was bound a determined not to leave them until she absolutely had to. She rolled over to see if he was still there. They had moved from their close hold some time ago, but she hoped it wasn't because he left. She smiled when she saw he hadn't. He was on his stomach with his face smashed against the pillow. He was still in his jeans, but they had ridden down to expose the waistband of his boxers and his shirt was scrunched up around his shoulder blades, exposing most of his back. She couldn't resist reaching out and running her fingers along the knots of his spine. He sighed in his sleep and arched into her touch. Feeling brave, she leaned over and pressed a kiss into the juncture between his next and his shoulder. She pulled back quickly as he stirred. He brought his hand up to rub his eyes before blinking them open.
"Good morning," he said with a sleepy lopsided grin. Beckett looked like she had just got caught with her hand in a cookie jar. He raised an eyebrow at her. He was not awake enough to figure out why she was looking at him like that, so he moved past it. "Did you sleep well?" he asked, smiling again.
Beckett froze. Her brain cranked furiously as she tried to respond, but she just couldn't. That smile brought on flashes of what it would be like to wake up with him every morning. The idea warmed her insides. She pushed the thought away and stared at him for one more beat before spitting out, "Yes, I'll go start coffee". She quickly moved from the bed, dashing all hopes of taking advantage of the perfect blankets. She hoped he wouldn't follow. She had an overwhelming need for space. She knew if that moment would have lasted any longer, she would have done something crazy, like kiss him. Unfortunately, she underestimated him once again. Just like the night before, he was faster than she thought he was. In a swift movement, he hooked an arm around her waist and hauled her back onto the bed. She thought about fighting him, but she knew if she did she could seriously hurt him and she didn't want that.
"What are you doing?" she growled.
"Why am I here, Kate?" he wondered.
"You promised you wouldn't ask," she replied angrily.
"Yeah last night and I gave you last night. I did whatever you wanted and for the most part I did exactly as you asked. I did manage to pay for the pizza, but I like to be a gentleman every now and then. So now, that it is a new day and I spent all night with you in my arms at your request. I want to know. Why. Am. I. Here." He ground out. The room was thick with tension. His frustration evident and rolling off him in waves.
"Sometimes I freak out, ok? The apartment closes in on me and I feel suffocated. I needed a friend, a life line. I just couldn't be alone and you were the first…well the only person I thought to call," she spat out. Castle's face softened immediately. "Even the big bad cop needs a little help sometimes," she admitted with a shrug. He slid his arms around her and pulled her into a warm hug.
"I'm glad to help," he whispered.
"I know, that's why I called you," she replied, pulling back to meet his eyes. In that moment she felt something shift. Something inside her. She was done fighting her feelings. Castle saw it. He saw the change. There was a clarity in her eyes he had never seen before. Beckett lay back against the mattress, never breaking their hold, leaving him hovering over her. A slow smile crawled across her face as she looked up at him.
Castle stared down at the woman in his arms. It was obvious she was trying to let him in but he didn't want to rush her. He knew it was his turn to make a move, so he was trying to read her to see just what that move should be. That smile. It said just enough. He slowly dipped his head and captured her lips like he had thought about doing a million times in the past twelve hours. She threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. She relished the feel of his weight against her and the gentle yet urgent pull of his lips. She was wondering why they wasted time watching a movie last night when they could have been doing this. Oh that's right, she had her guard up against that man she was crazy about, for no apparent reason. Castle rolled so she was now on top. He slid his hands up the back of her shirt. She arched into his touch, much like he had done in his sleep only moments earlier.
"God, Kate," he breathed when they finally broke apart. She straddled his hips and looked down at him. A smile played on her lips.
"This is why it was a bad idea for you to come over," she stated. For a moment Castle's heart sank. She regretted the kiss? But then a playfulness filled her expression.
"No Kate, I think it was a very good idea," he grinned. Beckett rolled her eyes at him.
"I'm going to make coffee," she announced. Castle moved to follow her. As she pulled the bedroom door open, he reached above her head to slam it closed, deciding he was not quite ready for their moment to end. He crowded her against the door. Out of instinct, Beckett's hands went to his chest. Normally when she was backed against the wall, she pushed the person away. However, she had pushed Castle away one too many times and wouldn't do it anymore. He grabbed her wrists and pressed her arms against the wood of the door, his hands forcing her fists open so he could intertwine their fingers. He trapped her with is hips and kissed her forcefully. He pulled a soft moan from her and took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. She smiled against his lips and relaxed back into the situation. She let her weight rest heavily against the door as the kissing continued. As Castle pulled away he pulled their clasped hands towards him, dropping her hands on his shoulders. He kissed her one more time, much softer. He hooked an arm around her waist and opened the door.
"Go on, make the coffee," her urged, smacking her butt as she walked out of the room. She turned her head back and sent him a mock glare.
After a cup of coffee, Castle sat down on the couch to pull his shoes back on.
"So what do we do now, Castle?" Beckett wondered, trying to figure out what their morning meant.
"I think now you start calling me Rick," he laughed. She glared at him. "Again, just saying," he added quickly.
"I'll think about it," she replied flatly. Castle stood from the couch and walked to wear she was standing near the door. He kissed her slowly and easily, like he'd been doing it for years.
"That's all I ask," he mentioned. "Now, I have to get back to Alexis. Mother is out of town and Alexis doesn't like to wake up to an empty loft," he informed. Beckett smiled softly. He was such a good father. He stared at her for a moment and then said, " unless you still don't want to be alone, then you are, as always, more than welcome to join us." Beckett expected to see a smug look on his face, but once again his offer was genuine.
"I think I am ok, go enjoy breakfast with your daughter," she encouraged. "Can I call you later and talk about our next step?" she wondered.
"I would like that," he smiled. She rolled up on her toes and gave him another kiss. "I'll talk to you soon," he promised, reaching to grab his jacket. He smiled at her one more time before starting off down the hall. Beckett stepped out after him.
"Rick?" she called. He stopped dead in his tracks. At the mention of his first name, a small thrill rolled up his spine.
"Yeah, Kate?" he returned, looking back at her.
"Thanks for not letting me be alone," she answered. His smile grew bigger, if at all possible.
"Always," he breathed with a small head nod. They looked at each other for another moment before he turned back down the hall and she returned to the apartment. She leaned back against the closed door. She had a feeling she wouldn't want to be alone quite often.