My mother, inky locks and tawny eyes, princess of the realm, never loved me. Well, I guess she did. She said she did. But you could have fooled me. My mother cared only for Zuko, her little ZuZu, because he was soft like her, emotional. I was my father's spitting image: precise, calculated, sharp. She punished me for the way I was born. At first I believed it was because I wasn't the first born, or that I was a girl. A second born daughter wasn't worth three first born male heirs. At least that would have made sense to me.
No, she was afraid of me. Afraid, of her own daughter. All I ever tried to do was love her, in my own way, but still, I tried. I trained so hard at fire bending, surpassing my brother in skill, hoping that I could impress her, that in this way I could win my mother's love. It didn't work. No matter how complicated the skill I mastered, she drew back. Zuko would struggle with a simple fireball, barely able to make a spark or keep a flame, but she would sit out on the terrace for hours, clapping and cheering each time he managed to keep a flame alive. But when I presented my first flame arc, she nodded, and excused herself. I cried myself to sleep that night.
It wasn't until I surprise-attacked Zuko behind the water fountain when I found the way to my mother's heart, well at least to her attention. She scolded me for a solid hour after I harmed her precious ZuZu, and all the while I had to fight a smile because there she was, taking time to talk to me, she for once cared about my actions and existence. I couldn't be more excited. So the next day, I tripped him as he walked to greet great grandfather. I made sure mother could see it was my fault. She never laid a hand on me but I was yelled at, and grounded. The next day I stayed in bed far past I was allowed she barged into my room and pulled me from my bed. She sat me down in front of my golden vanity and proceeded to comb out my hair and pull it into a presentable bun for breakfast. I was in heaven. But then it stopped. She stopped disciplining me, just frowning and walking away to comfort Zuko whenever I did anything naughty.
But the night that my father learned he would ascend to the throne, that was when my mother truly abandoned me. In the night she left us, but not without leaving a note. A note to Zuko. Not my father, not me, nor any of her friends or the servants. To Zuko. Her ZuZu. I stole it from him, and read it. It was a lot of "stay strong"'s and "I'll always love you"'s and "I would have taken you away with me if I could".
I would have taken you away with me if I could. You, as in Zuko. Not "you and Azula." Just you. And if you were wondering just exactly how to destroy a young girl and make her completely devoted to you at the same, that's how you do it. You do it with a mother's love. Or there lack of.