LARA CROFT AND THE KUMQUAT CHRONICLES
Lara had never been one for shopping. Not even for essentials.
But, she recognized the need to mix things up every now and then — experience the mundane along with the extraordinary. And in truth, it was nice to get out of the Manor after days of frustrating dead ends. The maddeningly cryptic scrolls could wait a day.
In the meantime...
Hurriedly pushing away from the banana stand, the brunette threw an apologetic glance at the elderly woman who'd been patiently waiting for her to move.
Crowds were not Lara's thing. She was constantly shifting, dodging, edging out of someone's way.
The Englishwoman let out a breath and closed her eyes momentarily.
It's just a bloody grocery run, Lara...you can do this.
Elsie's airy voice brought her back into the now.
"Lookie, kumquats!" said the blonde excitedly, holding a handful of the vaguely egg-shaped fruits before the brunette. "We should get some!"
Lara reached out and took one of the proffered fruits and examined it curiously. It felt much like a small, slightly oval orange.
"I've never had one," remarked the Englishwoman. "What do they taste like?"
"No idea," returned Elsie breathlessly. "But we should totally get some."
Lara arched an eyebrow.
"Why?"
"They're nutritious!"
Lara waved at the near endless variety of fruits and vegetables surrounding them.
"So is most everything else," returned the brunette. "Why this, specifically?"
Elsie's pale eyebrows contracted into an accusatory frown. "What do you have against kumquats? What's a kumquat ever done to you?"
"Absolutely nothing, on both counts," said Lara, the brunette's suspicions instantly kicking up a notch at the blonde's attempt at misdirection. "I'm just wondering why you're so big on them, considering you've never tasted one."
"Expand your horizons!" exclaimed Elsie forcefully, gesturing at the ceiling. "Try something new, broaden your hor— "
"I think you just like saying the word 'kumquat'," accused the archaeologist.
The blonde's pale face became an inscrutable mask.
"Those are serious allegations."
"They are," agreed Lara. "How do you plead?"
"I am innocent of these charges!"
"All right," said Lara calmly, tossing the orange fruit up into the air for emphasis before catching it in her palm. "I'll make you a deal, we'll get as many kumquats as you like —"
Elsie's face brightened. "Yay!"
" — if you promise to never again utter the word 'kumquat'."
The blonde's triumphant smile quickly fell away.
"What?"
"Those are my terms."
"But...but..."
Lara crossed her arms and regarded the American with fabricated coolness.
"Do we have an agreement?"
Elsie's shoulders slumped.
"Oh, what's the point," grumbled the blonde in defeat, tossing her handful of egg-shaped fruit back into the bin before flouncing off in search of new delicacies.
Watching her friend storm off, Lara's face slowly broke out into a mischievous smile.
Ripping a plastic bag from a nearby roll, she proceeded to fill it with kumquats.