A/N: If you're reading this, it means that you were interested enough to click on my story. I already want to thank you for doing that and I hope you like it!
Please keep in mind that English isn't my native language. If you find any mistakes, don't hesitate to mention them so I can improve my English writing.
Inspired song: The diary of Jane ~ Breaking Benjamin
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush
POV Logan
Shaken I was sitting on my bike. The adrenaline seemed to rush through my veins and I could barely take a hold of myself. The thoughts and images flashed through my head like an unstoppable train. No matter how hard I screamed to myself that I wasn't allowed to think about it, my brain didn't stop. It continued to think. It kept trying to understand what had happened, but I failed. I had the feeling that everyone looked at me. All those faces. All those people. They knew it. Piece by piece they knew what had happened. I didn't need any mirror to know that I was as red as a stop sign. The sound of an engine roaring filled my head and I was back in the moment. Back in the panic that I had felt. The oppressive feeling and to be unable to breathe.
Nausea returned and I had to get off my bike. Stumbling I managed to stop my bike. I slumped down in the grass on the side of the path. Vibrating I fell between the daisies and roses. On my hands and knee, I sat in the roadside with my face a few centimetres away from my stomach contents. The thoughts raced through my head, but at the same time, I had never felt so empty. As if everything I've ever been to was disappeared at a stroke.
I felt every emotion a human being could feel, but at the same time, I felt nothing at all. I was numb. I got back on my bike. I had to be on time at rehearsal. If I could focus on it at least. The tears were almost unstoppable when an irritated cyclist caught me up ranting. It took me all of my strength to prevent myself from falling. For a second I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Now it was time to stop being weak and to just keep going. I had to pull myself together!