Blood, tears, sweat and dirt. This was what our world seemed to be reduced to. What we were forced to endure. Death haunted us all every day, plaguing our dreams, our thoughts, our actions, like some sort of sadistic beast. And I hated every second of this merciless existence.

"Guren, behind you!" a voice rang from my left, waking me up.

Adrenaline was pulsing through my whole body. With a forceful movement, I grabbed Mahiru-no-yo with both hands and turned to the bloodsucking monster that got so close to me during the battle, managing to successfully block his attack in time.

"Thanks, Shinya!" I shouted back, feeling grateful for having him there, with me.

Usually I would've thrown a sarcastic sentence in the mix as well, to lighten up the atmosphere and make myself look cocky in front of the enemy, even though it wouldn't have been appropriate in this case. We were not supposed to lose any more minutes than necessary. Shinya and I had to finish them off quickly in order meet the others at the station Goshi chose as our meeting point.

The fight kept going for another ten minutes before the last vampire fell into Shinya's hands, being turned into dust in a matter of seconds.

We were both breathing with difficulty, the side of my face still aching after I came in contact with a solid surface trying to evade a reddish blade earlier in the battle. Shinya seemed in an condition no better than mine, his left leg showing a pretty ugly cut above the knee which kept bleeding alarmingly.

"Do you want to take a break to look at that?" I asked him, pointing at his injury. We were in a hurry, yet I refused to leave without knowing how bad it actually was.

"Not really" he answered lazily, smirking in my direction. "But I do love to see you so concerned about my well-being. Makes me all warm inside, you know?"

"Oh, shut up!" I shouted back, not wanting to let him mock me further. "I was only asking a question. However, since you are being an ass, I get that you are more than fine."

He chuckled at that, moving towards me until, after a few steps, he stopped, his smile turning into a scowl and a small hissing sound left his lips.

"Are you sure you can walk?" I asked, putting my blade in its righteous place and marching to Shinya to see the injury with my own eyes.

"Walking should be fine. I'm not so sure about running though."

"Let me check it first" I said, lowering myself to the ground. With steady hands I grabbed the bottom of his trousers and yanked them up his leg, revealing the wound. It was far worse than I thought, covering almost half of the length of the member, now completely soaked in blood.

"Now is not the time to get on your knees for me, Guren. Later on the other hand... "

"Quit joking around already!" I shouted at him, my frustration showing. "Do you even see yourself?"

"C'mon, it's not that bad." he went on with this stupid game, as if my words never reached his ears.

"Not that bad?! Are you out of your mind?"

"Now you're simply overreacting."

"I can see your bone, Shinya! You shouldn't even be standing!" I'm sure I sounded hysterical by that time, his lack of seriousness getting the best of me. "Please, just drop your act for a few minutes. There's no need for it and it really isn't helping."

He opened his mouth as if to say more, closing it after seeing the look on my face. With a sigh, he finally let go.

"What would you like me to say then? That it hurts like a bitch? You know it does. Sadly, we don't have the luxury of worrying about such things right now. We need to get to the squad. You know the policy - the mission always comes first. My injury will be dealt with later."

His eyes were blank, his voice emotionless. It saddened me to see how many layers of defensive mechanisms Shinya kept around himself, even when he was only accompanied by me. I was used to his jokes and childish remarks, but this side, this empty, broken shell he chose to create in order to keep his real self hidden, this one was still new to me. I knew what stood behind it, how full of hatred and fear he was and how much of it was directed at himself. Being by his side for so long, I got to see it multiple times and the contrast between it and his usual carefree mask never chased to surprise me.

"And how do you intend to get there if you can't even walk properly?" I brought the subject up once again, leaving my own theories and observations aside.

"Nothing stops me from at least trying. If it's not working, well, you'll have to leave me behind and come after me - if you still want me, of course - as soon as you and the others regroup and finish with the rest of the nobles."

I pushed this idea aside immediately.

"As if I'm just going to let you be at the mercy of the vampires!"

"I'm not that defenceless, Guren. Remember who you're talking to. I'm a sniper, I'm used to fight without having to move too much. I'll hide inside a building for a few hours and deal with every creature that gets too close."

Despite the sickening feeling that I gathered in my gut, I had to agree with Shinya that his plan was not as bad as I expected. But again, out of the two of us, Shinya was the most logical one since I tented to be too hot-headed for my own good. He was far better at pushing his own emotions aside and making the right call. I wasn't often selfish enough to do the same.

I grabbed the handle of my sword tighter feeling more powerless than ever. Deep down I knew that there was a huge possibility that I was just making a huge deal out of a pretty normal issue, but my brain refused to see the situation in any other way. Maybe I was acting this way because Shinya was the one wounded, maybe because I felt totally useless, or both. Shinya was one of the few people who knew how much seeing my comrades hurt affected me. It happened before. However, this felt different.

And we both knew why.

"I don't like it" I stated the obvious, looking into his eyes to emphasise this.

He ignored my words once again, choosing to lift his gaze to the sky with the intention of breaking our visual contact rather than awarding me with some sort of witty response like his usual self would've done.

"The clock is ticking. Let's go." he said, still not looking at me.

I let him start first, watching him make the first few steady steps, his pain and struggle being clearly seen on his face. He walked ahead of me for 20-30 meters while I simply stared at his quivering form, already sensing the outcome of this whole attempt. When his body finally failed him after his 47th step, none of us had been surprised.

I managed to catch him by the collar of the uniform - not an elegant move, I agree - right before his body made contact with the pavement.

"Well, this went well." he chuckled silently, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the mood. "Plan B it is then."

I stared at him once again, trying to see past his forced smile. It was definitely fake, his face getting paler by the second. His daily shield had been put back in place, although not as high as we were both accustomed to. He didn't seem like his old self anymore, only worn out.

"I can carry you." I offered, not being able to come up with any other better solution.

"That won't do. It'll take too long. Just... Just help me get to the closest abandoned house and hurry back when you can."

I had no other choice but to comply.

With his arm around my neck and mine secured around his waist, I dragged him into a small mansion, dirty and full of shattered glass, being the best we could have afforded under those circumstances. The walls were in a decent condition, at least. As long as Shinya didn't move, no vampire should've been able to see him.

Too bad this wasn't the only thing I was afraid of.

"They can still smell you. Any smart idea about how to deal with that?" I asked, positioning him on the floor.

"None that will work. This will have to do at the moment. Go! The rest of the squad is counting on you."

He grabbed Byakkomaru with both hands, finding himself a comfortable enough position to be able to shoot anyone that entered his perimeter. He had his guard up, eyes focused ahead. It made him feel prepared, I guess, and gave me a little bit of the confidence that I needed in order to distance myself.

"Shinya..." I whispered his name softly. "Please, don't do anything that's not absolutely necessary."

For the first time in what felt like forever, he smiled at me - a real, one hundred percent genuine smile. One of the ones that he only allowed to show when we were together, alone in the dark.

"Don't worry. I don't intend to do anything too extreme."

"That's... good."

We both locked eyes and nodded at each other, finally reaching an agreement. There was no reason to delay this any longer.

So I left. Kind of reticently at the beginning, marching slowly down the road, which soon turned into high speed running. The further I got, the less confident in Shinya's choice I was. I didn't want to admit it, but I was terrified.

I kept repeating in my mind that there was nothing to worry about. That Shinya was strong. That he was armed. That he never hesitated when it came to killing. Yet none of those was enough to calm me.

The only thing that I knew was that I couldn't go back anymore, that I had to keep running. No matter how much I wanted to be by Shinya's side, I had to made the right call as a captain.

"Don't worry, Shinya." I breathed, not caring that I was talking to myself. "I'll be back in a second. Just hang in there."

I still wanted to make the selfish choice. That much was clear. We weren't supposed to be this way in the world we lived in. We had to be just as merciless as her. Cold, Detached. Bloodthirsty even. And I just couldn't do it. I tried to, of course, by the only thing I managed was to fool others about my true nature.

I wasn't ready to lose another person I cared about. Shinya wasn't worth being sacrificed for the greater good of this cruel existence. He deserved so much better than to die in that place, surrounded by monsters.

But despite trying to think that everything was going to be fine, I wasn't able to shake off the feeling that something horrible was going to happen.

And I was going to be too far away to interfere.