GOD'S NOT DEAD 3

by 888epic

On April 8, 2016, Rev. David Hill was arrested for contempt of court. The government had mandates on what could and could not be preached in church, and he refused to present his sermons from the past 120 days for review. What has become of the Pastor and his beloved nation? All will be revealed in the ultimate crossover: God's Not Dead 3! Chapters will be uploaded once a week.

1. Chapter 1: Prisoners

Reverend David Hill laid awake on the cold wooden bunk he called his bed. He hadn't slept a wink all night; he couldn't on such a hard surface. He rolled over onto his side and looked at his digital watch: 4:59 AM.

Here it comes, he thought. Three… two… one…

Suddenly the reveille blared outside. "Wake up!" shouted the prison warden. "It is time to wake up!"

Pastor David groggily slid out of his bunk. He put on his work boots, white gloves and inmate cap and stepped in line with all the other prisoners.

"Camp, atten-SHUN!" the warden shouted. All the prisoners immediately stood at attention, many of them sweating as the warden walked menacingly past them. Nobody would dare mess with someone like Timur. He may be a little on the chubby side (he weighed close to 300 pounds), but the prisoners didn't underestimate him. One time, two prisoners had made a run for the fence on the other side of the field. When Timur noticed, he ran half a mile in about four minutes, then carried those two scallywags underneath his arms all the way back.

Timur was always dressed in a fine police uniform with a tie and a long black overcoat, much complementary to the filthy striped pajamas the prisoners wore. Those who were Christians, like David, had to wear a yellow badge on their rags that read "I HAVE FAITH". While he was always well-dressed, he never trimmed his beard or the long sidelocks that hung from below his service cap. The cap, by the way, was made of light blue wool with a shiny black rim, and had a strange emblem on the front: a silver phoenix holding an Israeli hexagram surrounded by a wreath in his talons, which seemed to gleam in the dim sunlight as the warden passed the pastor.

The warden stopped walking when he had reached the third man to David's left. David made sure to keep his face forward, but his eyes darted to the young man Timur had stopped before.

The young man looked to be in his early twenties. David also saw the bright yellow badge on the man's striped top, showing that he was a Christian, too.

"You Josh Wheaton, son?" asked Timur. The young man nodded.

Timur scowled. "Alright, Mr. Josh, now tell me: would this pathetic, worthless, horrid, meaningless abomination happen to be yours?" he said with sarcasm, holding up a Bible with Josh's name printed on the bottom corner of the cover.

Josh fell to his knees. "Please, sir, I had to pay extra just to get my name printed on the cover of that thing!"

Timur threw the book on the table behind him. "I do not care!" he barked, pointing at him. "You know that this is the most outlawed book in the country, and you have the audacity to bring this to my prison camp? You are a dead man!" The warden reached into his holster and drew out a pistol. At that, the pastor, feeling all but hopeless for the man, stepped out of line and shouted "I brought it here!"

Timur lowered his pistol and glared at the source of the confession. He slowly walked over to Pastor David. "Come again?" he asked.

David gulped. "H-he's my friend," he stammered. "I was borrowing his Bible when I got arrested, and I kept it with me when I arrived here.

Timur grinned. "Do I look like I was born yesterday? I know what happened: I was about to put this Christian dog out of his misery, and you were jealous. So you made the "Christian decision" that he would have to endure the rest of the torment I'd planned for him and you'd get a free ticket out of yours. Am I correct?"

"Th-that's not accurate at all!" David shouted, furiously but honestly.

Timur laughed and put his pistol back in his holster. "So then, I don't suppose you would mind a little hard labor? Maybe… making gravel?"

Within ten minutes he had all ten prisoners in David's barrack chained together at the ankles and striking rocks with their sledgehammers.

Timur brought a beach chair out of the barracks and a cold glass of dandelion tea. "Put your back into it, ladies!" he shouted. "And no resting!"

David lifted the heavy hammer behind his shoulders and and struck a boulder with all his might. Upon impact he felt the full force of the strike in his hands. Shouting in pain, he dropped the hammer. David remembered playing baseball as a kid, and how much his hands ached just hitting the ball with his bat. But this was like that times a hundred. He had always seen the prisoners on TV shows and movies breaking the rocks with hammers no problem. He had no idea what this actually felt like in real life.

Suddenly he heard a gunshot right by his feet. He looked to the warden, whose pistol had gunsmoke coming out of the barrel. "Pick that hammer up, Christian! These rocks ain't gonna break themselves!"

David lifted the hammer and swung with slightly less force. It wasn't terribly warm; it was still very early in the morning, but all the manual labor he was doing made it feel about ninety degrees out. And the pain; he had it in his back, all right. After just an hour his back felt like it was going to break in half, and they had a whole day of hard labor ahead of them.

In the midst of clacking of hammers against the rocks, he heard the old man next to him cry a little. "This really stinks," the man choked. David looked over at him. "Are you a Christian?" he asked, attempting to comfort him.

The old man sniffed and looked back at him. "Y-yeah," he said.

"Well, do you know this song?" David took a deep breath. "Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above with wisdom power and love, our God is an awesome God."

The man smiled weakly and began singing along: "Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above with wisdom power and love, our God is an awesome God."

They began striking the rocks in unison to keep the beat of the song. Before they knew it, all the inmates were striking in unison with them.

"When He rolls up his sleeves he ain't just putting on the ritz," David sang.

"Our God is an awesome God," the crowd of inmates answered.

"There is thunder in His footsteps and lightning in His fists."

"Our God is an awesome God."

"The LORD wasn't joking when He kicked us out of Eden

It wasn't for no reason that He shed his blood.

His return is very close so you better be believin' -"

"Our God is an awesome God.

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns from Heaven above

With wisdom power and love

Our God is an awesome God."

"And when the sky was starless in the void of the night-"

"Our God is an awesome God."

"- He spoke into the darkness and created the light."

"Our God is an awesome God."

"Judgement and wrath He poured out on Sodom,

Mercy and grace He gave us at the cross.

I hope that we have not too quickly forgotten -"

"Our God is an awesome God.

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns from Heaven above

With wisdom power and love

Our God is an awesome God.

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns from Heaven above

With wisdom power and love

Our God is an awesome God!"

"SHUT YOUR TRAPS!"

The inmates stopped the beat of their hammers and looked over at the warden sitting in the beach chair. "This is a prison camp, not a church sanctuary!"

David started singing a more fitting song. "Gonna see Miss Liza -"

The crowd answered, "- gonna go to Mississippi."

"Gonna see Miss Liza,

gonna go to Mississippi.

Gonna see Miss Liza,

gonna go to Mississippi."

And so the men repeated the same eight words until half past ten, when the brunch bell rang.

"Alright, in the cafeteria, you poor hungry souls," shouted Timur. "Five minutes, then it's back to work!"

Two Jewish guards came out of the cafeteria and unlocked the ankle weights binding the men together. Then one got in the front of the line, and one behind, and they marched the men into the cafeteria. The men walked over to the counter (behind which stood the prisoner on kitchen duty) one by one to get their food: a half cup of fluoridated coffee and a thin slice of stale bread. Meanwhile, the two guards and Timur walked inside with their food: tuna melts, french fries, and cappuccinos with whipped cream. They even had packets of ketchup imported from Israel. After the inmates had eaten their bread and drank their coffee, they sat down before them and began eating their food.

"Mmm, these tuna melts are most exquisit, wouldn't you agree, Reuben?" Timur said to the guard on his left, making sure everyone in the room could hear him.

"Indeed, Timur, the sweet tang of the cheese is a most exemplary complement to tuna," the guard replied.

The guard on Timur's left nodded. "And don't you just adore how the pretzel bread melts in your mouth! Ha ha ha!"

David looked longingly at the sandwich in Timur's hand. Timur was fat. He didn't need that sandwich. But David was growing thin after having eaten nothing but moldy bread, jam, and cold coffee for a year. How he longed for that sandwich, and it's crispy warm bread, succulent wild-caught tuna fish, the hot jarlsberg cheese that ran down the side…

Timur caught David's eye. He put two green olives on top of his sandwich like eyes and began making it talk like a puppet. "Hello, Christian. You still look a bit hungry Would you like a bite of me?"

David weakly reached out his hand. "Y-yes," he said. "Please, I'm starving."

Timur pulled back his sandwich puppet and spoke for himself. "Well you don't get one! And do you know why?"

David shook his head. Why, he thought, why don't I get a bite? Why don't I get my own sandwich? Why am I even in this place? I did nothing wrong… Suddenly he remembered: he had failed to produce copies of his sermons from the three months prior to his arrest in direct opposition of court order. If only I had done what I was told, he thought, I would still be at church. Of course, the government would have control over everything I could and couldn't preach, but it's better than living in a prison camp. But that still didn't make sense to him. Why would the punishment for contempt of court be being thrown into a death camp?

"I'll tell you why," Timur shouted. "Because we Jews own every last darn thing on the earth! We run the central banks! We decide who gets elected president! We have a worldwide monopoly on all the oil, gold, medicine, and yes, even tuna melts! That is why we eat like royalty and you eat like the vile, low-down, foul, miserable, wretched swine you Christians are!" Timur popped an olive in his mouth. "And another thing -" Suddenly he froze.

"Is there something wrong?" Reuben asked. Timur's throat was doing a gag reflex. The warden dropped his sandwich on the table and grabbed his throat. "I didn't remove the pit," he gargled.

The other guard put down his sandwich and stood up. "I know the Heimlich," he said. "Reuben, go grab a bucket from the kitchen."

Reuben put down his sandwich and ran into the kitchen. The other guard put his arms around Timur's stomach and began pressing up. While all this was happening, David whispered to the rest of the inmates: "Come on, let's get out while the getting's good!"

The guard watched as all the inmates pooled out the door of the cafeteria. "No! Stop right there!" he shouted. But he couldn't go after them. Reuben didn't know the Heimlich maneuver, and if he went after them now, Timur could choke to death. The pastor, who left last, looked the guard straight in the eyes. He picked up all three of their sandwiches and cappuccinos, put them back in the brown paper bag, and ran away with it. "Hey! I was going to eat that!" he shouted.

Reuben rushed into the room. "I found the buck -" he started, before noticing the cafeteria was empty, and the warden was now blue in the face. "Um… Mordecai? Did you send the inmates back out?"

The guard shook his head. "Nope. They escaped while I was trying to save Timur here. And you know what else? I think he's dead."

"NO!" shouted Reuben, rushing to the warden's side. "Officer Timur, please, speak to me!" He slapped him in his cold, chubby face. "Please, say something! Anything!"

Mordecai walked over to the wide open door where the prisoners escaped. "Science damn you Christians," he said.

Meanwhile, Martin Yip, the foreign exchange student whom Reverend David had brought to Christ three years ago, was back in his homeland (where it was closer to 10:30 in the evening) to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. When he had left, the country he had been living in was called China. But ever since the Club of Rome unified the world's nations into the ten kingdoms of the New Order, China and North Korea were collectively referred to as "District 10". The first thing he did when he left the Hong Kong International Airport was drive to Yau Ma Tei market square. In the trunk of his car was a microphone and a travel stereo.

Martin looked at the market square. Great, he thought, it's busy tonight.

Martin parked and walked to the middle of the market square. He took out the Bible he had acquired while in the states, cleared his throat, and said aloud, "Can I have everyone's attention?"

Nobody seemed to be listening. He got a few weird glances, but everybody was shrugged and went back to whatever meaningless conversations they were having. Martin frowned. He turned on the stereo, flicked the microphone switch, and spoke again. "Can I have everyone's attention!" his voice boomed across the square. This time everyone stopped altogether and the whole square was silent, save for the soft feedback the stereo emitted.

"Thank you," Martin said. "I was long-term exchange student in America last few year and as I was studying in my college philosophy class, I wonder, 'why am I doing this? to get good job with high pay? to earn money so I could survive rest of my empty life just to die without any effect on lives of others? was there really point in going to college for such vain purpose? no. Reason I went there was to discover truth. And after three long and intriguing speech by my spiritual brother, Josh Wheaton, I discover true meaning of life: Jesus. Jesus is Way, Truth, and Life. And now, without further ado, dear people, I bring you message from LORD!" The crowd gasped and began whispering to each other. Ignoring their soft whispering, he pressed "Play" on the stereo. The stereo then began playing the instrumental of "Message from the Lord".

Martin began singing to it:

Do not fight, do not cheat,

Wash your hands before you eat

There is nothing quite as sweet

A message from the Lord!

Be a friend, say your prayers,

Heaven loves a heart that cares.

That is why I've come to share

A message from the Lord!

And if you follow God's commands

there will be peace throughout the lands!

You will live long and happy lives

With your sheep, and your kids, and wives!

Martin entered a chinese restaurant and began singing to the dining customers.

Don't eat pigs, don't eat bats

Don't eat shellfish, dogs or cats

Stay away from all of that!

A message from the Lord!

Martin exitted and began singing to the people outside.

Do what's right, don't provoke

Put four tassels on your cloak,

Do not laugh, it's not a joke

It's a message from the Lord!

He saw a small group of children in front of a school and sang to them:

Don't do drugs! Stay in school!

Obey all of YHWH's rules!

Follow them and you're no fool

A message from the -

Suddenly the music stopped. Martin looked over his shoulder. In the middle of the market square stood a duo of the People's Armed Police Officers in their fine military uniforms. Like the officers in David's district, they also had the same phoenix holding the Jewish hexagram on their hats. One of them had turned off the sound system while Martin wasn't looking. The other had a heavy, semiautomatic rifle pointed at him.

"You stop right where you are!" the officer shouted. "You know Bible most outlawed book in country, and you have audacity to preach to our people? You dead man!"

Just as the officer took aim, another man about Martin's age ran in front of the officer. "If you want shoot this Christian, you must shoot through me!"

The officer laughed. "If you insist; District 10 population need to be reduced, anyway."

Then a woman ran in front of the man. "That go for me, too!" she shouted. "If you want shoot Christian, you must shoot through both of us!"

The officer who had switched off the music whispered in the ear of the officer holding the rifle: "Officer Mailie Cai! Surely you would not fire at woman?"

"Of course I would, Officer Jian," replied the officer. "As long as it means I get to shoot Christian!"

Immediately everyone in the market square gathered in front of Martin. Even the children, who had been standing in front of the school, had gone in the very front of the wall of people.

"Clear area this instant or I will -" Officer Jian put his hand on Mailie Cai's shoulder.

"Hold your fire. These people will die protecting this Christian, and last thing we need is to deal with riot."

Mailie Cai lowered his rifle and began walking away. As he did so, he looked over his shoulder. "Science damn you Christians," he said.

Martin was frozen in place as he watched the officers walk away. It took him about ten seconds to realize someone was tapping on his shoulder.

"My friend, we want to hear more about teachings of Jesus," a man said. "But we cannot do it here. We will surely be prosecuted for it."

"Where is nearest church?" Martin asked.

The man thought a minute. "There is one at Wealthy Shopping Arcade on Tsuen Kwai Street."

"Is there morning service tomorrow?"

"Methinks."

Martin went before all of the people he had just preached to. "If you wish to hear more about my testimony, I would ask you all to join me at church in the morning."

The man held up his hands. "Woah, hold on there. I said I want hear more about what you learn about Jesus; I didn't say I want engage in illegal activity."

Martin walked over to the man with his Bible opened to Acts chapter 5. "It is written: 'We must obey God rather than men.'"

The man scratched his head. "Huh. I never thought of it like that. Fine, I will go with you to church tomorrow morning. Can you pick me up at quarter to ten? I have no car."

Martin took a bookmark out of his Bible. "Write your address here," he said, handing to the man.

The man took a pen out of his pocket and scribbled down his address, then handed it back to Martin.

"Thanks, see you tonight,"said Martin, starting to walk away.

"Wait!" the man said. "What is your name?"

"Martin Yip," replied Martin. "What's yours?"

The man sighed. "Promise not to make fun?" he asked.

"Promise."

The man took a deep breath. "My name is Zhizi. Shen Zizhi"

Martin had to put his hand over his mouth to suppress a laugh. "Well, okay, um… Zizhi… Can I just call you by your surname?"

"I would be most grateful if you did so."

"Okay, Shen, I will pick you up in morning. See you."

David climbed up the wire fence surrounding the field with all the other prisoners from his barack. The razor wire at the top tore their clothes and scratched their skin as they climbed over it, but they managed to make it back down in one piece. When David finally stepped down to the pavement below, he saw a row of five police hovercars.

"There are five vehicles and ten of us," he said. "Two of us should go in each one! Josh, since I know you, you can ride with me."

Josh Wheaton got into the passenger seat of the car David was in. "Do you have a hovercar driver's license?"

David rolled his eyes. "You say that as if we haven't already broken the law today," he replied.

"We may have broken the law, but I don't want to break my neck!"

David ignored what he said and put the keys into the ignition. "Can you believe someone was dumb enough to leave their keys in here?" he said, snickering. Once the engine started purring, he stepped right down on the gas and pushed the control wheel down, causing the car to violently swoop upward.

"WOAH!" they both shrieked. David pulled the wheel up and nearly crashed back into the pavement, then pushed down again until the vehicle was flying horizontal to the ground.

"I guess I need a little more training, huh?" David said.

Josh, looking a bit green, replied with a "huh".

"Say, Josh, could you tap "Hope Springs" into the RDF?" David asked. Josh tapped the name of their hometown into the search bar on the touch screen. "2,359 kilometers -"

"Miles."

"Right. Let's see… 1,466 miles northwest from this island."

David shifted into full throttle and sped over the thick roof of the Cuban rainforest. Meanwhile, back at the prison, officer Mordecai and officer Reuben were just reaching the parking lot. "Where's all our hovercars?" Mordecai said.

"Those Christians better not have stolen them," Reuben said. "I don't have hovercar insurance on mine!"

"We need some backup here." Mordecai opened up the communicator app on his Apple watch and rung up the president.

"White house, secretary Earnest speaking," said a voice.

"This is an emergency," said Mordecai. "I need to speak with the president ASAP."

"Hold just a minute." Music played on Mordecai's watch for a few seconds, then the president spoke up.

"Hello, this is Barack Obama, president of District 1," said another voice. (District 1 was what the former American, Canadian, and Greenlandic territories were now called)

"Mr. President, this is officer Mordecai here at Guantanamo Bay. An entire barrack of our Christian prisoners has escaped with all of our hovercars, and given the direction in which the hovercars left, it appears they're headed straight for America."

"Science help us," the president sighed. "I'm going to call the coast guard. If those hovercars come within a mile of the shoreline, our ships will blow them right into the sea."

"Thanks, but could you also tell the air force to send us some more hovercars?" Mordecai asked. "They took all our means of transportation."

"I'll send them right over," the president replied. "But for now, I need your men to keep a close eye on the rest of the Christian prisoners. If any more were to escape, it could spell doom for our glorious New World Order kingdom."

"Will do. Goodbye, Mr. President." Mordecai hung up his communicator.

Martin stood up from his bed and stretched. This was the morning he would attend his first Chinese church service. Once he had eaten breakfast, he drove over to the address Shen had given him. On the way there, he took his first good look at the city since he had left. It was nothing like it was before; the once-utopian city he called was now swarming with police hovercars, all of which had the Jewish hexagram on the back door. All of the traditional red Chinese flags with the five stars in the corner, which Martin had grown accustomed to seeing, were now replaced with rainbow LGBT flags. And, all around town, strange and terrifying images of ancient deities had been erected. Martin was able to identify some of them he learned in school, but many of them he didn't even recognize.

Finally he parked at the apartment building. Martin looked at the address on his bookmark:

Paris Apartment

118 Chung On Street

Apartment 40-D

Martin walked into the lobby and pressed the "UP" button next to the elevator. He waited a few seconds, then pressed it again. Then the doorman said, "Sorry, no in order. Please use stairs."

Martin sighed and began hiking up the stairs. By the time he had reached the fortieth floor, his legs felt like they were about to turn to jelly. He walked over to apartment 40-D and knocked on the door.

"One minute!" said a voice. Exactly sixty seconds after he said this, Shen opened up the door in a coat and tie.

"You are looking quite nice," Martin said.

"Where are your church clothes?" Shen asked, seeming genuinely confused.

Martin chuckled. "Well, you do not necessarily have to dress up for church. Usually only pastor and ushers do so."

"Oh," Shen replied. "Well, it is nearly ten. Let us go downstairs to your car." He then walked over to the elevator and pressed the down button. Then Martin said, "I forgot to mention…"

The two finally arrived downstairs. However, when they went out into the parking lot, Martin's car was nowhere to be seen.

"Eh, Martin?" Shen said. "Where is your car?"

Martin looked around the parking lot, then looked onto the street. Leaving the parking lot was a great tow truck with Martin's car hooked onto it.

"No! Martin, did you park in a reserved space?"

Martin blushed. "Well, perhaps we could walk to church together?"

The two started down the sidewalk. After a minute or so of silently walking together, Shen spoke up.

"So, why did you become Christian to begin with?" he asked.

"Well, it is long story, kind of," he began. "I was without religion growing up. My father, Jesse, always told me that most important thing in life were money, education, and family. But to think that this was all I had to look forward to in life left me troubled. Life felt hollow. Meaningless.

"To find if I really had greater purpose, I took philosophy class in fancy American college. And on first day, Professor Radisson told us 'God is dead', and told us to write that on paper and sign it. I did not question his logic; he said God was useful fairytale in our forebearers' imaginations to explain plagues and crop failures, diseases and disasters, but science and reason now explains that these things are caused by bacteria and viruses, chromosomal disorders and plate tectonics. I wrote 'God is dead' on my paper and signed it with no hesitation, but there was young man sitting near me called Josh Wheaton, who refused because he was Christian. Later that day I asked him why he refused to do what Professor Radisson told him, and he said that God is not dead, and no one should not be talked out of believing in Him just because everybody else thinks they should. So, over next three days, Josh was given twenty minutes in every class to prove God existed. By day three, he had myself, and rest of class, convinced that God exists.

"Those three speeches very much got me interested in learning more about God. I sought help from Reverend David Hill, who answered all my questions about Him. I learned that God created heaven, sea, and earth. I learned He created all living things. I learned that He loves us all so much, He died on cross to save us from our sins, so everyone who believes in Him will have everlasting life."

Shen looked perplexed. "Well, eh, that is all great, but I am not sure if I understand quite yet," he said.

Martin chuckled. "Do not worry, I also had a lot of questions when I first came to God."

"HALT!" said a voice.

Martin and Shen looked up from the concrete below them and saw officer Mallie Cai standing before them.

"Where do you two think you are headed with that pathetic, worthless, horrid, meaningless excuse for a storybook?"

Martin looked at the Bible in his right hand. He was caught. He had no idea what to say now. Gulping nervously, he stammered, "Well, eh, officer, we were just, um, doing…"

Mallie scowled furiously. "You are not going anywhere…" he began, reaching for his pocket, "until you pay this fee of 0.67Ƀ!" He gave Martin a ticket with the number "0.67" on the bottom.

"I-I don't understand, sir," Martin stammered. "What is this?"

The officer took back the ticket. "Is your plate DF 7910?"

Martin nodded. "Yes, sir."

The officer handed the ticket back. "Well, it says here you were parking in reserved parking area, right outside Paris Apartment Complex!"

"Oh, yes, right!" said Martin, feeling much relief. "Yes, I am real troublemaker. But, sir, I have left my wallet in my car, which has been towed."

Mallie laughed "Your wallet? When were you born, the forties? We do not use cash anymore. Just transfer 0.67Ƀ from your account over to state."

Martin scratched his head. "I am sorry, what do you mean? Transfer?"

"Do not tell me," the officer said, taking Martin's hand and inspecting it. "You have no mark?"

"What mark?" Martin asked, looking over at Shen. Shen shrugged, looking just as perplexed as Martin was.

The officer planted his white-gloved hand upon his face. "What do you mean, 'what mark'? Everyone has it! How could you not know what mark is?"

"I was in America, eh, I mean, District 1 four years; I do not know what has been going on here since I left," replied Martin.

"That does not matter!" the officer said. "Everyone in District 1 has it, just as everyone in 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10!"

Shen piped in. "I have lived here in Hong Kong for twenty-one years, and neither do I know of this 'mark'."

"Well, where can I get this mark?" Martin asked.

"Hold on a minute." The officer ducked inside his police hovercar and pulled out a laptop. "What is your social security number?"

Martin told him.

"Okay… Ah! Here you are: Martin Yip, age twenty-one, you currently possess 261,838¥ in your account, equal to 89.65Ƀ. You currently have no criminal background, except, of course, that little "incident" last night, but that is all behind us now, yes?"

Martin gulped. "Yes, I learned my lesson. I was actually running this thing down to the dumpster with my friend Shen." He showed Mallie his Bible.

Mallie chuckled. "Well, it would be hard to find a better place for it." He closed up the computer and slid it back onto the passenger seat of his vehicle. Then he held up a piece of paper. "Now, before I permanently implant your mark, I need you sign this contract."

The contract read:

MARK OF THE BEAST

I, _, hereby turn over to the Beast everything I have, including my my soul, in return for which the mark allows me to buy and/or sell as I please forever.

"I do not have pen to sign with," Martin said.

"No, sir, this contract is to be signed with blood, not ink" replied the officer. He pulled out a syringe with a needle at the end. "Now, I need you to hold your arm steady for me."

Martin stepped back "Hey, keep that thing away from me," he said. "I do not do needles!"

Mallie stepped forward. "Sir, I have done this many time. No hurt for more than a second."

"No!" Martin shouted. "Shen, let's go. I have bad experience with needles!"

"I do not know, Martin," said Shen. "I kind of would like to be able to buy and sell products and services as I please. Perhaps this mark could be solution to communism!"

"This mark is solution to everything!" said the guard. "This mark will make you smarter! Stronger! Live forever! Buy and sell whatever you want telepathically! Be like God, except you exist!"

The watch on Shen's watch beeped as it stuck ten. "Oh, dear!" he exclaimed. "Martin, we must really be going! We are late for chu - er - that… thing! Right?"

"Yes, Shen, we are late!" Martin turned to the officer. "I am sorry for this inconvenience, sir, but we have to go! We will get magic mark-thingy later!" He ran down the street with Shen as fast as he could.

Mallie became furious. "One way or other, you will receive that mark, Martin and Shen!" he shouted as the two ran off.

"Hey Josh, hit me up with one of those sandwiches in that bag," said David.

Josh pulled a tuna melt out of the brown paper bag and handed it to David.

"Thanks," David said. "Help yourself to one of those, too. There should be two more in there."

"Pastor, with you driving, I doubt I could eat a bite," replied Josh.

Just as David was about to take a bite, he felt something strike the bottom of the hovercar so hard it made him drop his sandwich.

"Aah! What was that?" he said. He looked over the hood of the vehicle. Below him, the coast guard had laser cannons firing directly at the vehicle.

"Blow those Christian dogs out of the sky!" shouted the Jew captain. "For science!"

"For science!" the admirals repeated.

David swerved the hovercar left and right, trying to avoid getting hit by a laser at all costs. "Darn it!" he said. "Josh, put my sandwich back in the bag. I need to get past coast guard."

Josh picked up the sandwich and put it back in the bag. Then, he had an idea: "Pastor! Try pressing those two red buttons on the tops of the control wheel!"

Having no better options, the pastor pressed the buttons simultaneously with his thumbs. Immediately a bright blue laserbeam shot out of the two barrels fitted underneath the wings of the craft. The laserbeams apparently had hit the engine of one of the ships, because David immediately saw it burst into flames.

"Woah!" he exclaimed. "I wish I had a couple of these babies on my car!"

The captain was furious now. "He's destroyed one of our ships!" he shouted. "Launch the heat-seeking missiles!... of science!

The ships sent rocket ships way up into the sky. David tried to steer clear of them, but they just started following behind his vehicle! He pressed harder and harder on the fuel, but the rockets kept getting closer and closer to his tail. Then he had and idea, too. He lifted the control wheel up as hard as he could, causing the craft to do a nosedive.

"Pastor, what are you doing?!" Josh screamed. "We're about to crash right into the sea!"

The vehicle dove right behind one of the coast guard ships. The missiles, which had been following close behind, landed right on top of the ship, causing it to explode.

Looking into his rear-view mirror and seeing the explosion, he said "Looks like your science is flawed." He pushed the control wheel all the way down, causing the hovercar to swoop back into the sky.

"Okay Josh, now you can hand me back that sandwich. I'm starving."

After flying along the horizon a few more hours into the evening, the RDF spoke:

"Arriving at destination."

David grinned. "Hold onto your lunch, Josh. We're coming in for a probably-crash landing." He pulled up on the control wheel. Josh started screaming.

"Aah! Pastor, I feel like I'm floating!"

David slowly eased the control wheel down as they grew closer to the ground. Below them they saw the interstate that lead into Hope Springs. The vehicle struck the pavement with surprising force as he touched down, causing it to bounce way back up. The vehicle bounced along the "runway" until coming to a complete stop.

David stepped outside the hovercar for the first time in hours. He stretched, then looked at the townscape.

"Oh no!" he said. "This must be a mistake! This doesn't look like Hope Springs at all!"

Their hometown was unrecognizable. To call it a town now would be an understatement. It looked like a robotic city with towers so high if David had continued flying he probably would have crashed. Statues of pagan gods and goddesses were on every corner - Baphomet, Molech, Prometheus, and Diana Lucifera, to name a few - and there were LGBT flags everywhere. Everywhere he looked, above doors, in the parks, behind store windows, just rainbow flags everywhere as if they were American flags. There really wasn't much difference between this city and Hong Kong. But there was a city limits sign to their right, which clearly read "Welcome to Hope Springs".

Josh gasped. "Can you believe how much our home has changed since we left?" he said.

"How long were we even in prison?" David asked. "I feel like one of those guys in the movies who gets frozen for like, fifty years, and ends up in the future!" He stepped back into the hovercar. "Come on, Josh, let's get home. It's getting late, and I can't remember the last time I slept in my own bed."

Back in District 10, Martin and Shen had just arrived at the Bread of Life Christian Church to see everyone still worshipping. He noticed that many of the people there were wearing yellow hexagrams that read " I HAVE FAITH " in the middle.

"Great, we have not missed the service," Martin then began singing along to "Days of Elijah", but then Shen tapped on his shoulder.

"Martin, I do not know words," he whispered.

Martin pointed to the screen. "They are displayed up there," he replied.

Shen, though off-key, managed to sing through all the songs in the service without much difficulty. Then the pastor spoke into the microphone.

"Hello, everyone. I am Pastor Wang. And I say this because I see many new faces today. I assume many of you were led here by the testimony of Martin Yip?" Most of the people in the room raised their hands.

"Yes, it is good to see Holy Spirit working through this young man. Anyway, without further ado, Martin, if you would come up and let us hear your testimony?" The audience clapped as Martin walked up to the podium.

"Thank you, Pastor Wang," he said. "When I went into college, I did not know Jesus. I had been raised an atheist by my father, Jesse. In fact, it wasn't until I took a philosophy class at Hadleigh University that I even had even heard of God. My teacher, Professor Radisson taught us what a god is and what it means to be atheist. He then taught us that God is dead, and when I learned that, I identified myself as atheist. But then my classmate, Josh Wheaton, told me that God is alive, and I should not let Professor talk me out of believing in Him. So I found pastor in nearby church to answer all my questions about God. And he told me this:

"God is creator of earth and everything that lives. He created humans, too, and we are supposed to follow His commands. But all humans have disobeyed God's commands in some way or other. And God's punishment for sin is death. But God didn't want us to have to die. So He came to earth in human form and was crucified. His sacrifice paid for all our sins, so if we ask Him for forgiveness, we will not die, but have everlasting life."

A person in the crowd raised his hand. "Do you have question?" Martin asked.

"Yes. You said that God came to earth in human form and was murdered on cross. Does not this mean God is dead?"

"Yes, it does not." Martin replied. "You see, He had to prove in some way that He was God. If He had been human, and would have stayed dead to pay for His sins. But since He lived perfect life, death could not keep hold of Him. So, three days after His death, He resurrected Himself from dead!"

SMASH!

A rock just crashed through the window. The pastor ran over and looked out the hole in the glass.

"Dear God, we are being picketed by Church of Atheists! Everyone, go downstairs!"

Just as everybody started running to the emergency exit of the sanctuary, the violent protesters broke down the door and started running in, waving their pitchforks and torches in the air, along with their picket signs: GOD IS DEAD! TEACH DON'T PREACH! THIS IS A GOD-FREE ZONE! JESUS IS A MYTH! Martin, still behind the podium, had nowhere to flee to. He ducked beneath the stand as stones were hurled at him. A stone knicked the microphone, causing a loud pop to be heard out the speakers. Then he got an idea. He quickly shot up his hand and grabbed the microphone. Then he rushed to a nearby speaker, turned the volume all the way up, and touched the microphone to it.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..!

Everybody in the room started screaming and covering their ears. Some dropped their pitchforks and torches and ell to the floor. "Please! I cannot take it anymore! Make it stop!" one guy yelled.

"My ears are bleeding!"

"I am going deaf!"

"Turn that thing off!"

Martin turned off the microphone and walked back to the podium. Then he turned it back on and said "You want some more?"

"NO!"

"Then in name of Jesus, you all leave us alone at once!"

Grumbling, the protesters dropped all their signs and weapons and left the church.

Back outside, officer Jian and Mallie Cai were standing. "We saw angry mob headed this way!" said Jian. "Is everyone okay?"

Furious, an old Asian man walked right up to the officer. "Okay? Those darn Christians nearly killed us with one of their cacophonic-stereo-gizmos!" He turned to the crowd. "These people are dangerous! First they set up secret organizations in opposition to government, and now they have actually attempted to harm us!" He turned back to Jian, wobbling his gnarled finger at him. "Mark my words," he said. "If you do not do something about Christians, there will be uprisings! Our kingdom will surely fall to them!"

Jian turned to Mallie Cai. "Science damn it!" he said. "I thought we were over this whole God thing!"

Mallie Cai shrugged. "Whatever, let us just march in there and shoot up all the Christians," he suggested.

"No," replied Jian. "We must contact our leaders."

Jian and Mallie Cai went into their police hovercar and sped off back to their base. Their base was a steel arch building with a laser cannon tank parked next to it. In the front yard there was a gay flag flying proudly in the breeze. The entire base was surrounded by an electric fence. When they arrived, they quickly ran inside the building.

Jian took Mallie Cai to his office. On his desk there was a miniature Illuminati pyramid with an eye on the capstone. Jian opened the capstone of the pyramid by the hinge, revealing a red button that had been hidden underneath it. He pressed the red button, causing the eye of the capstone to glow red. Suddenly a hole in the floor opened up, and an elevator rose up. The door of the elevator then opened.

"Jian, how long have you had this?" Mallie asked.

"Be quiet!" snapped Jian. "We can't let public know about this. We must keep them asleep."

Jian and Mallie stepped inside the pod. The door closed, and it disappeared beneath the floor. It stopped in an underground lair beneath the military base.

Jian and Mallie stepped into the large circular room. It had grey brick walls and a black and white checkered floor. In the center of the floor was a blood-red pentagram. There was also hover screen on the wall. Jian walked over to the hover screen and turned it on. Then he invited the ten kings of the earth to a group video chat:

Barack Obama of District 1

Jean-Claude Juncker of District 2

Emperor Akihito of District 3

Malcolm Turnbull of District 4

Vladimir Putin of District 5

Nicolás Maduro of District 6

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of District 7

Idriss Déby of District 8

Pranab Mukherjee of District 9

Kim Jong-un of District 10

When the ten kings showed up in their video boxes, the two officers got on their knees and bowed before them.

"Greetings, supreme leaders of the world," they said in unison.

"What do you want?" Barack groggily asked, still wearing his LGBT rainbow pajamas. "Do you even know what time it is in this District?"

"Yeah, ese, it is like, almost midnight here in the west," Nicholas agreed. "What do you want, dawg?"

"My lords, we have problem," said Jian.

"You are telling me!" snapped Abu. "I cannot tell you how many Christians are protesting in my district! There must be at least, like, six!"

"Same here, cuz," Barack replied. "Two a' my officers just reported to me yesterday that all ten of the Christians at Guantanamo took off and are entering my district."

"And that is just what we wanted to talk to you about!" said Mallie. "Here in District 10, the Christians just tried to destroy nice friendly protestors from Church of Atheists! These people must be stopped before they take over world!"

"Science damn it!" Jean shouted. "It's taken us thousands of years to create this one world government, and just when we get it started, a whole bunch people have to be all "Mr. Holier than Thou" and stop it!"

"No," Barack said. "We're going to stop them. We've come too far to allow them to stop us. Now I'll tell y'all what: Let's force all the Christians in all our districts to get the Mark. If any refuse, we'll send an officer to their doorstep and have executed right on the spot."

"Why, Mr. President, you are brilliant!" exclaimed Jean. "It's no wonder the Council of Thirteen selected you to be the ruler of District 1! You're so full of great ideas, like gun control, abortion, gay marriage..."

"Don't forget ObamaCare," Malcolm piped in.

"Yes, well, I am a pretty smart fella," said Barack, scratching the back of head. "Why don't we all say a prayer, right here over Skype. Everybody bow your heads and close your eyes." Everybody on the line did so. "Father science, you have provided us well in these troubled times. Please help us defeat these menaces. Forgive us for all the times we relied on God instead of on you. And please, help these Christians to grow out of the whole God-thing and submit to logic and reason instead. And everybody said -"

"Amen," they all answered.

David drove Josh to his house. Josh walked over to his house and saw black and yellow barricade tape stretched over it, like some kids had toilet papered it, but with the tape. The windows had all been boarded shut with plywood and nails, and above the door there was a red sign that read "FORECLOSED". Josh tore the tape off the door and tried opening it, but the door was locked.

"Oh, shoot!" he said. "I wasn't able to pay my mortgage because I was in jail!"

"It's fine, Josh," David said. "You can stay at my place tonight. Then maybe we can see about getting your house back."

David drove Josh over to his own house, but his was also foreclosed.

"Wait a minute, they can't foreclose my house!"shouted David. "I'm a homeowner!"

"Actually, the state is the homeowner," said a voice from right outside the passenger window. David looked past Josh's head and saw Officer Mordecai and Officer Reuben standing outside. "We're also the hovercar owners. Of the one you are currently driving," said Mordecai.

David and Josh looked at each other. Then, they slowly got out of the hovercar. Reuben paced menacingly around them while Mordecai spoke.

"You two have caused quite some trouble. And we're through with all your little games. So…" he reached into his pocket. David and Josh gulped nervously. "... we forgive you," Mordecai finished, pulling out a rolled up sheet of paper. Perplexed, David took the paper.

"What is this?" he asked. "Some sort of token for your forgiveness?"

Reuben stopped pacing and laughed. "A token of our forgiveness? In a sense. Open it up."

David unrolled it and saw that it was a contract. Reuben pointed to a line near the bottom. "All you have to do is sign on this little line, and we'll forgive you. You get your houses back, we get our hovercars back, and we'll just walk away and pretend none of this ever happened. Deal?" He held out his white gloved hand.

"Mind if I read it first?" David asked.

The contract read:

MARK OF THE BEAST

I, _, believe in one secret and ineffable LORD; and in one Star in the Company of Stars of whose fire we are created, and to which we shall return; and in one Father of Life, Mystery of Mystery, in His name CHAOS, the sole vicegerent of the Sun upon the Earth; and in one Air the nourisher of all that breathes.

And I believe in one Earth, the Mother of us all, and in one Womb wherein all men are begotten, and wherein they shall rest, Mystery of Mystery, in Her name BABALON.

And I believe in the Serpent and the Lion, Mystery of Mystery, in His name BAPHOMET.

And I believe in one Gnostic and Catholic Church of Light, Life, Love and Liberty, the Word of whose Law is THELEMA.

And I believe in the communion of Saints.

And, forasmuch as meat and drink are transmuted in us daily into spiritual substance, I believe in the Miracle of the Mass.

And I confess one Baptism of Wisdom whereby we accomplish the Miracle of Incarnation.

And I confess my life one, individual, and eternal that was, and is, and is to come.

X__

David and Josh looked up from the paper. "Gee, I don't know," David said. "I've never really made a commitment with such deep and spiritual terms since the day I got saved"

"What do you mean you don't know?" said Mordecai. "We're here offering you a ticket to freedom, and you "don't know" if you want to accept it? Do you realize that we can and will arrest you if you don't? I mean, it's your soul! It's not like it's the end of the world if you lose it!"

"Settle down!" said David. "I can't sign it now; I don't even have a pen on me."

"You're not supposed to sign it in ink," said Reuben. "You have to sign it in blood."

Josh piped in. "Well, sirs, it's really late, and we have to go to church in the morning. All we really want is a place to sleep for the night. Can't we just settle this over coffee tomorrow?"

Mordecai and Reuben looked at each other. Then Mordecai took of his hat and scratched his head. "Well, since you didn't give us a straight up "no", I suppose we'll let you camp out in our hovercar for one night. But we want our craft back tomorrow. Got it?"

"Yes, officer."

"Alright then. Good evening to you both."

David woke up to the bright sun pouring in through the windshield. He clicked the key forward and looked at the time: 9:30 AM.

"Woah!" he exclaimed. He nudged Josh in the side with his elbow. "Rise and shine, Josh, we gotta head to church!"

Josh opened one eye. "Can't I take I wash up first?" he murmured. "I haven't bathed since the we found out the "showers" back at Guantanamo were for death row inmates."

"If you can find running water in this vehicle, be my guest," David said as he turned on the engine. He then levitated the vehicle and sped down through the metropolis.

"Wow, I'm picking up on this pretty good!" he exclaimed. "If I keep this up, I'll have my license in no time!" He glanced at the RDF. "Hey Josh, check this out. Okay, Google Maps: Hope Springs Church."

The RDF spoke: "In one point five miles, turn left at destination."

"Wow, you don't even have to touch the screen!" exclaimed Josh. "I gotta get me one of these things!"

When they arrived at their destination, they immediately saw that the church had been corrupted as much as their beloved town. The cross at the top of the steeple was upside-down. The windows had been stained red, and the frames had been painted black. A huge roof had been built above the entrance, supported by a bright red pillar on the left and a deep blue pillar on the right. And a gigantic green eye had been painted on the wooden doors.

"This isn't our church," David said. "What kind of church is this?" He looked at the church sign on the front lawn. It read:

HOPE SPRINGS CHURCH OF THE ATHEISTS

STAY ASLEEP

DO NOT QUESTION SCIENCE

OR YOU WILL CERTAINLY BURN IN HELL!

SUNDAY WORSHIP 10:00 - 12:00

"Pastor, I don't want to go in there," Josh said nervously. "This place gives me the creeps!"

"I'm gonna go peek inside," David whispered. Then he tiptoed to the window on the side of the church.

The sanctuary looked completely different than how he left it. The beige carpet had been stripped and replaced with black and white tiles arranged in a checkered pattern. The walls had been painted over with Egyptian murals. The windows, again, were black, and the huge one behind the podium had a giant square and compass on it with a letter "G" in the middle. The podium itself had a picture of Jesus's face on it, but it was covered by a "no symbol". Behind the podium stood the priest of the atheists.

"Greetings servants of science," he began, "Today we have a very special guest here to do my job for me -" The congregation had a laugh together - "Ha ha. Anyway, he's come here all the way from the World State capital, Vatican City. So without further ado, let's welcome Pope Francis!" The crowd clapped and cheered as the old man walked over to the podium.

"Thank you, everybody," he said with his thick Latin accent. "I can't wait to give you all a sermon of our dark lord Sata - I mean, ah, science. But first, let us start with a prayer." Everyone in the congregation bowed their heads and closed their eyes. "Dear God, whom we do not believe in. Let us all not pray to you who does not exist in any rational way. Rather, let us give our praise and thanks to science this morning. Amen."

"Amen," the crowd answered.

Then the church band came up onstage. The lead singer spoke into his microphone. "Are you ready to give glory to science today?" he asked the congregation.

"Hail, science!" the crowd answered.

"Hit it!" The band started playing "Our God is Greater", but they were singing it all wrong.

"Science is greater, science is stronger,

Science is higher than any other,

Vaccines are healer, knowledge is power, science! Science!

And if science is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if science is with us, then what could stand against? What could stand against?"

The lead singer spoke again: "And now a solo by Eric Cartman!"

A fat kid waddled onto the stage with a microphone and started singing.

"I love you, science, I want you to walk with me

I take good care of your baby, call you my baby, baby

You died for my sins, and you know that I would die for you (right?)

What's the matter, baby, you're tremblin' science, baby

Your love! Is my life! You know that without you there's a black hole in my life!

Oh, I wanna believe! It's all right but I get lonely in the night and it's up to you to save me, Science baby!"

"Blessed be your name!"

"Every blessing you pour out, we'll turn it back to praise

When the darkness closes in, still we'll always say

Blessed be the name of science! Blessed be science!

Blessed be the name of science! Blessed be its glorious name!

You give and take away! You give and take away!

Our hearts will choose to say, science blessed be its name!"

They sang a few other songs, like "How Fake is Our God", "Amazing Gays", and "Yeezus Paid it All". When they finished the last song, the Pope spoke.

"Okay, children's church, you guys can go downstairs," he said. "Now, if you would all open up your bibles, we can get to the lesson of the day." He held up his copy of The GOD Delusion.

David had had a good enough look. "Josh, you gotta come see this -" He looked over to the road. The hovercar was gone. "Oh no," said David.

Martin was lying awake in bed (it was now the middle of the night in his district). He couldn't sleep after what he had just done that day. He knew the protestors were mad. He knew the police were mad. It would only be a matter of time before they did something about it…

Just then his iphone fluttered on his bedside stand. He was so startled he shouted. The phone vibrated again, this time vibrating it's way off the table. Martin groggily picked it up. Darn it, he thought, now screen cracked. He tapped the green icon to answer his phone. "Hello?" he said.

"Wake up, Martin," said a voice with a thick African accent.

Martin looked at his phone to see who was calling. It read "Unknown Caller". "I-I am awake," he replied.

"The Matrix has you," the voice said.

Martin sat up in bed. "What? Who is this?"

"They're coming for you, Martin, and I don't know what they are going to do."

"Who is coming for me?" Martin asked, beginning to grow worried.

"Stand up and see for yourself," the voice replied.

"What, right now?"

"Yes. Now. Do it slowly. The window."

Martin stood up as slowly as he could, still gripping the phone in his hand. He slowly made his way to the window and looked down at the parking lot. The police hovercars were there, their lights flashing bright red, white and blue.

The voice spoke again. "I would suggest you get out of there."

"How?" Martin asked.

"Open the window and try to get to the roof."

Martin opened the window and looked down to the pavement. "No way," he protested. "This is crazy. And I am afraid of heights."

"There are two ways out of this building. One is that scaffold, the other is in their custody. You take a chance either way. Are you more afraid of heights, or of needles?"

Martin thought a minute. "Good point," he agreed.

Martin, still wearing nothing but his boxers and T-shirt, climbed out the window and stepped onto the scaffold. Then, using the columns of windows going up the side of the building, he climbed to the roof. I never thought I would be so thankful to live this close to the penthouse, he thought. Finally he reached the roof, the moon and stars now shining down upon him. He had never seen the moon or the stars in his hometown before because of the sky glow. But now the new government had placed regulations on how much light the city could produce at night, because there had been a huge problem with light pollution.

Just then a helicopter descended onto the roof. The SWAT team came out and pointed their rifles at Martin. "Freeze, Christian!" shouted one of them with a megaphone. "You are surrounded! Surrender yourself!"

A figure appeared behind them and, like a ninja, beat them all out cold. Then Martin felt something hit the back of his head and he fell unconscious.

Meanwhile, Josh was at the Hope Springs police department. In the interrogation room, Josh sat in a chair with Reuben behind him and Mordecai sitting behind the desk in front of him.

"As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Wheaton," said Mordecai.

"Why is this happening to me? What did I do? I didn't do anything!"

"I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Wheaton," replied Mordecai. "You're here because we need your help. We know that you know a certain individual, a man who calls himself Judpheus."

Josh thought a minute. The name sounded familiar. "You mean Reverend Jude?"

"Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant," Mordecai replied. "He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice."

Josh couldn't believe his ears. Jude was the pastor's best friend. How could he be a terrorist? Having not known Jude that well, he had no reason to contest, so he agreed. "Uh, sure. Where do I sign up?" he asked.

"Right here." Mordecai slid the contract across the desk. It was the same contract he had given to David. After reading it carefully, Josh asked for a pen.

"No, Josh, you must sign it in blood, remember?" Reuben said, taking a syringe out of his pocket. Reuben rolled up the sleeve of Josh's prisoner uniform and squeezed his arm. "I'm just going to prick your arm a sec." He poked the needle beneath Josh's arm skin and extracted a little bit of blood. Then he squeezed half of the blood in the syringe into a ballpoint pen. "Here," he said, "sign with this."

Just as Josh was about to sign the contract, they heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Reuben said. He opened the door and saw David with his hands on his knees, sweating and panting.

"Wha-?! How did you get here?" Reuben exclaimed.

"You took… hovercar… I ran…" David panted.

"Why?"

David caught his breath. "I'm here for Josh," he replied. "He didn't do anything wrong. He -"

"Well, he did," Mordecai said from the table. "He's just signing that little agreement that would excuse him from it."

David went over to the table, took the paper Josh was about to sign, and stuffed it in his pocket. "Forget about the contract, Josh," David said. "I just got a weird phone call on the way here. It's from someone who calls himself-"

"Judpheus," replied Mordecai, Reuben and Josh in unison.

David was shocked to see that they all knew. "How did you…?"

"He's the most wanted criminal in the world," Mordecai replied. "You and your friend here have apparently crossed paths with this man, and we need your help in detaining him."

David took off his prisoner cap for a second to scratch his head. "Um, no, I don't know anyone by the name of 'Judpheus'..."

"They mean Reverend Jude," said Josh.

"What, Jude?" David said. "That's insane! He'd never hurt a fly."

"Are you going to help us or do we need to detain you, too?" Mordecai asked, standing up from his desk.

"We'll talk to him," David replied. "C'mon, Josh, let's go."

"Oh no." Mordecai and Reuben drew their disintegrator pistols. "You're not slithering out of this again, you Christian scum. Nobody leaves this room until you both sign that contract."

"We'll sign it later, okay?" said Josh. "Just put the handguns down."

"Look around, kid," said Mordecai. "This ain't America anymore. This is the New World Order. And in this world, you're not the ones to be calling shots. We are. Now sit down, sign the contract, and take the Mark, or we'll blow you right out of your socks."

Just then, they heard another knock on the door. "Oh, for the love of science!" shouted Reuben. "Mord, don't take your eyes off these two. I'll get the door." He opened the door, and he immediately fell to the floor out cold.

"Reuben?!" Mordecai shouted, dropping his pistol on the table. He rushed over to Reuben. "Who did this to you? Wake up, Officer R!" Then a black figure rushed up behind Mordecai and knocked him out, too. Before Josh and David even had time to react, they felt cold, gloved hands cover their mouths and needles press into their backs. They tried to scream, but no sound came out, and before they knew it, they were fast asleep.

Martin woke with a start. The first thing he noticed was his mouth was covered by an oxygen mask. He sat up on the foam mat he had been laying on for who-knows-how-long and looked around the tunnel-like room he was in. It was cylindrical, with chrome metal walls and glowing fluorescent tubes lining the ceiling. Where am I? thought Martin. What am I doing here? On the mat right next to him he recognized Reverend David and Josh Wheaton, both of which also asleep and were wearing oxygen masks. But why were they wearing prisoner uniforms? Martin leaned over and shook them both awake.

"Wake up, please," he said.

David stirred a little and took off his mask. He rubbed his eyes and looked up at Martin. "M-martin Yip?" said David. "Is that you?"

"Has been while since we last saw each other, yes?" replied Martin. "Why are you wearing striped pajamas?"

David looked at his clothes and shrugged. "I guess I'm just a troublemaker," he replied. "Why are you wearing those pajamas?"

Martin looked at his own clothes and realized he was still wearing nothing more that his underwear and T-shirt. "I am from another time zone," he replied, sharing a laugh with David.

Martin cleared his throat. "Ahem. Pastor, this is no time for joking. We have no idea where we are, and Josh is still sleeping."

Just then, Josh woke up and took off his mask. "Ugh," he groggily groaned, "what's so funny?" He looked up at Martin. "The Chinese kid? What's he doing here?"

Martin scratched his head. "I have no idea!" he said. "That's what Pastor and I try to find out!"

The three of them helped each other onto their feet. "There's windows lining this room," Josh pointed out. "They could give us a clue as to where we are!"

David walked over to one of the rows of windows and stood on his tiptoes to see outside. He was shocked to see the great blue sky with a chaotic sea of clouds rushing by underneath. "Come look at this!" he shouted. "We're in the sky, and we're moving!"

Josh and Martin rushed over and looked out the window. "Are we flying?" asked Martin.

"I guess," said Josh. "How did we get way up here?"

"Hey guys!" David said, now on the other side of the room. "There's a door here! Let's go!"

The trio went through the door and found themselves in a rectangular room with a semicircular table in the middle. The table had an azimuthal equidistant map of the entire world on it, with the north pole in the center and Antarctica surrounding. Standing around the table they saw a few familiar female faces: Amy Ryan, the woman who had been miraculously healed from her cancer; Ayisha Sittu Khan, the college Muslima who had converted to Christianity in disobedience to her father; Mina Oliver, the late Professor Radisson's ex-girlfriend; and Grace Wesley, the teacher who had to deal with a lawsuit for quoting the Bible to her class. Standing on the other side of the room, facing Josh, David and Martin was a tall black man in a suit and a trenchcoat, his eyes hidden behind mirrored sunglasses.

"Good morning," he said in his thick African accent. "Welcome to the revolution."

"Jude?" said David. "Is that you?"

"My name is Judpheus," he replied. "This is the Tribulation Force."

"Jude, I know it's you. Take off that stupid disguise."

Jude took off his sunglasses. "You are really screwing my vibe here, Pastor," Jude replied. "I am trying to be all, how you say, 'cool' and 'edgy'."

"Jude, we want some answers. Why'd you kidnap us? What kind of vehicle is this? And why are you wearing that disguise?"

"There is no time to explain, Pastor. Did you take the Mark?"

"The Mark?" the pastor said. "That thing they were going to shoot me if I didn't take it? Yeah, I was about to, but then I blacked out and wound up way up here! Why are we in the sky? Did they shoot me? Am I in heaven now?"

"You are on my airship," replied Jude. "This is the base of the Tribulation Force."

David scratched his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Since when have you been able to afford an airship?"

"A lot has happened since you were arrested, Pastor," Jude replied, turning his back toward David. "It all started the day you were arrested. You weren't the only pastor locked up in Guantanamo, David. Every single pastor who refused to turn in their sermons was arrested. Christians from all over the country started protested, claiming you all were arrested simply because you were Christian, not because you did anything unlawful. A movement was started called "Christian Lives Matter", and it was all funded by a Jew by the name of George Soros."

"But George Soros isn't even a Christian," said Josh. "How could he fund an organization protesting for Christians?"

"George Soros is a troublemaker," Mina piped in. "He was in on the atheists' New World Order Agenda. In order for the atheists to conquer America, they had to divide it first. ORDO AB CHAO; that's their slogan."

"It started with just angry Christians planning protests on Twitter," Jude continued, "but it escalated. Some crazy protesters in Ferguson burned down more than a dozen buildings, injuring at least sixteen people. The police became involved and arrested all the protesters.

"The high priest of the Church of Climatology, conspiracy theorist Al Gore started spreading his theory that the Christians were a terrorist organization that had infiltrated the U.S. government, and their protests were their attempts to overthrow it. President Barry So - I mean, Barack Obama found out about this and decided to ignore all the terrorist threats in the Middle East to deal with the one allegedly already in our country.

"The president declared war on the Christians. A war broke out lasting little more than a month, resulting in the destruction of the U.S. capitol and the collapse of the U.S. economy.

"The U.S. had always been more than a country. It was the bond that held every country in the world together. Now that bond was gone. The world fell into chaos, just like the atheists had planned. The United Nations, now called the United Atheist League, rose up and unified all the countries as one sovereign state, divided into ten regions, each region ruled by one of their ten puppet kings. Those kings were: Barack Obama of District 1, Jean-Claude Juncker of District 2, Emperor Akihito of District 3, Tony Abbott of District 4, Vladimir Putin of District 5, Nicolás Maduro of District 6, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of District 7, Idriss Déby of District 8, Pranab Mukherjee of District 9, and Kim Jong-un of District 10.

"This New World Order had a one world government; it's capital being Vatican city. It had a one world economy, it's currency being coin. And it had a one world religion, too: Atheism. Anyone who swears allegiance to another government, uses a another currency, or practices a religion other than atheism is to be arrested. To make sure the people would use coin and only coin, the Federal Reserve stopped producing paper money. From now on, money could only be processed digitally. And to further their goal, the False Prophet we know as Pope Francis issued something called the "Mark of the Beast" to be printed on everybody's right hand or forehead. This thing was more than just some tattoo that showed everyone whom you've sworn allegiance to; it was a device that allowed you to make coin transactions with a thought! It also gave people super speed, super strength, super intelligence, basically turning them into gods! Where do you think they could get that kind of technology?"

David had a perplexed look on his face. "Back up a minute," he said. "All of this happened while I was in prison? I wasn't even there for a year!"

"Devils!" Jude shouted, turning back toward them. "The atheists are in communication with the dark lords! For millennia they have been communicating with them, and now the line between their world and our own has nearly diminished! Don't you see? We're living in the Eighth Kingdom that was prophesied in Revelation! If we don't do something now, the Antichrist will come and bring a thousand years of darkness upon the earth!"

"Well I think you're crazy," David said. "But the whole world has been crazy since I was arrested. My question is, why should I care? God will protect us."

"Because," Jude replied. "If the Antichrist takes over the world, that means no more tuna melts!"

David's expression sank. "Wait, what?"

"I said, if the Antichrist takes over the world, no more tuna melts!" Jude exclaimed.

"This is bad," Jude stammered, caressing his head in his hand. "We gotta stop this! I can't live in a world without tuna melts!"

Martin shook his head. "He is crazy, Pastor."

Jude looked at Martin. "Ha, you'll see who's 'crazy' when all this happens."

"Pastor Jude," Martin began, "do I look like I was born tomorrow? You expect me believe Antichrist will take over world and stop us from getting tuna melt? You have no proof!"

"But it's all written in the Bible," Jude took a Bible off the table. "Read for yourself; in Revelation chapter 17."

"You just fooling with me!" replied Martin. "Revelation no have that many chapters probably! I'll believe it when I see real evidence!"

FWASH!

Just then there was a bright flash in the middle of the room, right over the table. All of a sudden there was a creature standing on top of it. The creature was a little more than three feet tall; it had silver fur with white fur on it's chest surrounding it's neck. It had with yellow eyes and tan skin. It wore white gloves with cyan circles with lines sticking out of the bottom leading to golden bracelets accented in cyan. On it's feet were boots are of a similar fashion with a red gem set in gold. The rest of it's boots were navy blue, white and cyan. It had two large spines at the back of it's head, while at the front of it's forehead there were five distinct spines in the shape of a fern in front of it's pointed ears. It was surrounded in a cyan aura, and it was holding a yellow gem.

Everybody in the room was shocked. "Ah! What is that thing?" Josh exclaimed.

David jumped back. "It looks like a big porcupine!"

The only one who wasn't terrified was Ayisha. "Oh. My. Allah." She covered her mouth. "I don't know what that thing is, but it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen!"

The creature spoke. "My name is Silver the Hedgehog. I've come to your time to save the future."

"This is incredible," Amy said. "A talking mole!"

"Yeah, but I really wish he wouldn't stand on the map table," grumbled Jude. "That thing wasn't cheap!"

Silver looked down. "Ah… Sorry about that." He hopped down off the table. "So far I can only control the time I arrive in. I haven't quite got the location down-pat."

"So you are from another time?" Martin asked. "Where? I mean, when?"

Silver began, "My time is a dark and terrible place, two hundred years in the future. Something happens during this period that results in it's destruction. Two mysterious beings known as the Antichrist and the False Prophet show up and set up a one world government. The first thirteen years of their reign goes great, but then a great war breaks out. It lasts twenty-seven years, and the world is destroyed. So, I went back thirteen years before the war began to prevent my future from happening."

"You're a little late," said Josh. "Our friend here was just telling us the one world government's already started!"

"But, as I was saying," Jude started again. "it's not too late! If we can stop the atheists, we can prevent their messiah from coming!"

"But if we don't," Silver replied, "and the Antichrist takes over, he will be unstoppable."

David walked up to Silver. "Hey, uh, Silver, are there tuna melts in the future?"

Silver looked up at him and frowned. "What's a tuna melt?" he asked.

David fainted immediately. Josh kneeled down and tapped him. "Pastor? Pastor! Are you okay?"

Jude picked up his shoulders. "He's fine, let's just move him back into that room you guys were sleeping in."

Josh picked up his legs and they moved the pastor back into the other room. Then Ayisha ran up to Silver. "Seriously, you're so cute, I think I'm gonna die. Can I please pet you?"

Silver's cheeks went red. "Um, well, sure, I guess…"

Ayisha squealed with joy and started stroking Silver across the head. Then she started stroking his chest. "Wow, you're like, so soft!"

Martin looked at Silver. "I guess Pastor Jude was right," he said. "The future really does get destroyed by Antichrist."

Silver nodded. "The inhabitants of my time say he was prophesied to bring a thousand years of darkness to my world. I can't believe I'm only on year two hundred!"

"About that, Silver," Martin began, "How did you get back to this time in first place?"

Silver handed him the yellow gem he had been holding. Holding it in his own hands, Martin saw that it was cut in a hexagonal shape. "See that? That's called the Time Stone. To use it, all you have to do is hold it and think of the time and place you want to go to. But you gotta be really focused on it, or you might mess up like I did, appearing in on your guys's table."

"That simple, huh?" replied Martin.

Silver nodded. "Yup, and there's six more just like it. Legend has it that if you collect all seven, you can -"

FWASH! Martin was gone. Ayisha took her hands off Silver. "Where did he go?" she asked.

Silver replied, "I think the real question is when."

Martin blinked away the dark spots from the bright flash. He immediately wished he hadn't, because he was horrified by what he saw. He was standing in the ruins of his hometown, Hong Kong, two hundred years in the future. The sky was a blanket of black clouds blotting out all sunlight. The buildings had crumbled, some had even fallen over. The streets had huge cracks in them, going all the way down to the glowing magma in the earth's mantel.

"If I had any doubts before," Martin said, "I have none now. I want out of here."

FWASH!

Martin was once again standing on Jude's airship in the present. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home…" he murmured.

Grace Wesley stood. "What happened to you, Martin? What did you see?"

Martin gulped. "Future worse than I thought. I saw my hometown. No good. Also I found Holy Grail." He tossed an old metal cup on the table.

"How did you get this?" asked Mina.

"I take few detours before coming back," replied Martin.

"Give me that!" shouted Silver, swiping the Time Stone from Martin. "Time travel is very dangerous unless you're an experienced time traveler like me!" He turned to the others. "Guys, listen. We need to stop the atheists before their messiah comes and ruins my future!"

"Indeed," replied Jude, walking back into the room. "And I know just how we are going to do it. We need to split up and assassinate each of the ten kings."

"Are you crazy? We can't do that!" shouted Josh. "Exodus 20:13 says: 'Thou shalt not kill'. Besides, there are ten of them and only nine of us."

"The kings have become part of the Beast. They are the enemies of God now, so they're okay to kill. But if you're worried about not having enough people our side, allow me to introduce you to our pilot. Misrab! Come out and meet our newest members!"

An Arabian man with a beard walked out of the cockpit and into the room. Recognizing him, Josh said "Hey, aren't you Ayisha's dad?"

"I am," replied Misrab, through a thick Middle-Eastern accent. "And much as I despise my disgraceful daughter for worshipping a mere human such as Isa, I despise the atheists far more. And I want to stop Al-Masih ad-Dajjal from taking over the world as much as the next guy."

"So you're going to help the Tribulation Force? How?" asked Mina.

"I will be dropping you all off at your destinations," replied Misrab. "Then I will fly to my destination, where I will do Istishhad, the ultimate sacrifice."

Ayisha went white. "No… you don't mean…"

Misrab put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, my daughter, but it's for the best. Allah will surely reward me."

Ayisha hugged her father. "Please, Daddy, don't do this…"

"What does John 15:13 say, Ayisha?" said Jude.

Ayisha, starting to tear up, sniffed. "I… I don't know. What?"

Jude opened up the Bible to John 15. "'Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.'"

Misrab stroked his daughter's hair. "Yes, and who needs friends anyway when you have seventy-two virgins, eh?"

"I guess you're right, Daddy," Ayisha replied. "I don't care if you kill yourself to save the world, but please, please, please promise me one thing before you do."

"Anything, daughter."

Ayisha looked up at him. "You must ask Isa for forgiveness! You can't get into Jannah unless you do! If you die in this world, I want to see you in the next one!"

Misrab shook his head. "To do so would commit blasphemy. If I ask Isa for forgiveness, like you did, then neither of us will receive eternal life. As it is written, 'who can forgive sins but God alone'."

"But Isa is God!" said Ayisha. "He's the king of kings! He lived a perfect life and died on the cross to pay for our sins!"

"And what did the great prophet Muhammad say about 'the king of kings'? It is written 'the most awful name in Allah's sight on the Day of Resurrection will be that of a man calling himself 'the king of kings'."

Ayisha kneeled before her father. "Please, daddy, the Day of Resurrection will be the worst day of your life if you don't do it!"

Misrab sighed. "I promise you I'll consider it, okay? But if I do and we both end up in Jahannam for becoming Christians, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."

Ayisha stood up and hugged him again. "Oh, thank you, Daddy, thank you!"

Silver looked up at Martin. "What the heck are they talking about?" he asked.

Martin looked down at Silver. "Have you ever asked Jesus for forgiveness?"

Silver looked perplexed. "Who?"

Martin took Silver by the hand. "Come on, Silver, let us sit down somewhere together. I would like to tell you about the Lord Jesus Christ."David found himself in the ruins of his hometown, Hope Springs. The sky was dark. All the buildings were destroyed, and there was lava everywhere. In the sky he saw a devil in a dark aura, and it was surrounded with tuna sandwiches. It spoke with a low, demonic sounding voice:

"Yes… I have conquered the entire earth… and now all the tuna melts in the world are MINE! ALL MINE! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA!"

David fell to his knees, crying "NOOOOOOO!"

Suddenly he was in the room back on the airship, laying down on a mat. His heart was beating very fast, and he was covered in a cold sweat. After getting back on his feet, he stumbled back into the map room.

"Oh, I am glad you are awake, Pastor," said Jude. "We were just planning our attacks on the ten kings!"

"Wait, what?" said David. "We're attacking the kings?"

"That's right," replied Grace. "I get to assassinate Obama!"

David saw Misrab in the room. "Hey aren't you -"

"Yes, I am Ayisha's father," Misrab interrupted.

"Whatever." He turned back to Jude. "What's my assignment, general?"

Jude looked at his clipboard. "You are going after Jean-Claude Juncker of District 2. He's an old man, so he should go down pretty easy.

"Okay, Josh, you kill Emperor Akihito of District 3. Mina, you got Tony Abbot of District 4. Amy, you got Vladimir Putin of District 5. Silver, you got Nicolás Maduro of District 6. I got Idriss Déby of District 8. Ayisha, you got Pranab Mukherjee of District 9. Martin, you got Kim Jong-Un of District 10. And after you drop all them off, Misrab, you will fly to District 7 and crash my airship into ASIS's capital, Baghdad. Any questions?"

David raised his hand. "What's this 'ASIS' you speak of?"

"Oh, right. While you were in prison, ISIS formed an alliance with the United Atheist League and changed their name to the 'Atheistic State of Iraq and Syria', or 'ASIS'.

"Now if there are no more questions, let's go and kill us some atheists!"

(TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2)