A/N: this is an A/U and it has uke shiro and probably some ooc too.

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any characters. and if i did why would i be writing fanfiction?

P.S. thank you Voluptuous you are wonderful and i cannot express how grateful i am for you beta reading this story for me :)

The first time, we were both drunk at Rukia's birthday party. He came back to my house, since it was closer. Being the more sober of us both, I got some aspirins for the hangover we would probably have in the morning. He was sleeping on my bed, so I decided to put them on the nightstand before grabbing a pillow and heading to the couch.

But god just loves to fuck with me, so he decided that it would be funny for me to trip and fall on to of Ichigo. Yeah that's not the worst part.

"Sorry Ichi-mph!" …. He kissed me! I tried to pull away, but Ichigo was known for being a strong drunk. Then I felt something warm and wet slide into my mouth… Ok scratch that, the traffic-cone haired bastard was trying to FRENCH kiss me!

Then what followed after could be considered the best sex that I've ever had. I can still remember the way he licked up my spine while he thrust his hips at just the right angle, abusing a particular happy spot inside me.

"Mine." he whispered huskily in my ear as his fingers pumped my erection in time with his thrusts, making me cum all over the sheets as Ichigo followed me into bliss.

The next morning I was so sore I didn't feel like getting up, but Ichigo was staring at me, his expression reminded me of Skippy, my pet gold fish when he jumped out of his bowl. He was saved in time and he's still alive right now; swimming around happily in his little bowl not giving a shit about the outside world as long as he's fed. I looked away from Skippy and back to my friend, before I decided it was too early to deal with all this.

"You mind feeding Skippy? I'm too tired and sore to get up." I muttered, before pulling up the covers, turning away from him and going back to sleep.

Later I heard the sound of the drawers on my nightstand opening, signalling that Ichigo was getting the fish food. I fell asleep for a while after that but when I woke up Ichigo was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at me. I sat up and groaned, damn that'd take some time to heal.

"Did we-"

"Yep."

"Are you ma-"

"Nope."

We sat in silence for a moment, he didn't know what to say and I was waiting for him to say something. After awhile I decided to break the ice.

"Ichigo I understand that last night was a mistake so why don't we just forg-" I stopped, seeing him looking at me with a pair of puppy dog eyes, "or it wasn't a mistake?" he looked down, avoiding my gaze, "and you want it to happen again?" I crawled towards him cupping his cheek and looking at him "Ichigo?" I waved in front of him ,"earth to Ichigo?"

He jumped and stood up."Well that's n-…. I'll just leave" I grabbed his wrist, and pulled him towards me, stealing a kiss from him.

"Ichigo I don't mind you wanting to do that again."

He blinked at my answer. "You don't?"

I nodded. "To be honest I enjoyed it." He let out a relived sigh and smiled. "But I don't want us to be a couple." He looked at me questionably. "As you know, my relationships never end well. I don't want us splitting apart so this will be kind of a…" I rotated my hand trying to think of the right word.

"Friends with benefits sort of deal." He finished for me.

"Yeah. But it's okay if you don't want to." I sat down on the bed, "we could just forget this-" I was cut off by him kissing me, the kiss was hot and passionate, all the good stuff. It soon turned into a full make-out session with one of his hands jerking me off. And that was the second time.

Now that you're caught up with that story let's continue. As time passed I found myself getting more attached to Ichigo. I couldn't stop thinking about him. My old man Zangetsu had concluded that I had fallen in love with him.

"Kyo quit bugging me." I was snapped out of my musing when the sound of my younger brother Rei; the youngest, complained.

"Why don't you call me 'Kyo-nii' like you call Tensa-nii or Shiro-nii," that's Kyo, he was born fifteen minutes before Rei.

"He will count you as his older brother when you can do your homework by yourself." And that's Tensa, he's older than the twins by 2 years, yet younger than me by 2 years.

So going by that order I'm 18, Tensa's 16 and the twins are 14.

"Kyo leave your brother alone, Rei come help me in the kitchen." I ordered. With the old man working almost all day and mom travelling around the world, I'm left to take care of my siblings.

"Ne, Tensa-nii, I heard from Yuzu that Ichigo's dating Rukia, is that true?" I froze, making Rei look at me with a worried expression.

"They might as well be, seeing as she's practically glued to him all the time" Tensa answered Kyo's question with a bored tone. He couldn't possibly care less about what happened in other's lives.

"But what about Shiro-nii then?" Rei asked. Tensa looked at me for approval to answer Rei's question.

"We're just friends" I stated calmly, before setting the table, "Now come on, let's eat."

Dinner was quiet. Everyone seemed to be glancing at me every few minutes with a pitiful gaze, and it was pissing me off. When we were done Tensa and Kyo cleaned up while I went to my room and Rei went to his, saying something about finishing his homework. I would offer to help but I was too tired, plus the answer would always be 'I can do it myself y'know I'm not Kyo.'

Lying on my bed after a shower I'm hesitating to send a text to Ichigo, to ask him about his relationship with Rukia. After a while I decided to press the send button. It didn't take long for my phone to vibrate, signalling he had texted me back.

His reply was; 'yeah I'm dating her.'

I found my vision blurring and a tear rolled down from my eyes. WTF, I don't fucking cry, I haven't cried since fourth grade and yet I found myself trembling, breaking down from four fucking words that should have meant nothing.

The next morning I avoided going to school. I made breakfast and lunch for my siblings but I stayed home. All day I tried to distract myself by cleaning the house, and guess what the house was? fucking spotless and I still can't get Ichigo off my mind, and so I decided to take a nap.

'Stuck in a limbo here we go

Me and my sins go toe to toe oh oh oh

I played a vicious part whoa

I broke an unfair share of hearts'

I was woken up by my ring tone 'Killer' by the Ready Set. I groaned flipping my phone open; not bothering to look who it is before answering. "Hello?"

"Shiro, you ok, why weren't you at school today?" I froze recognizing the voice right away. Oh god it was Ichigo.

"You ok Shi?" I took a deep breath to calm myself before answering

"Yeah m'fine."

"That's good, I was worried." We stayed in silence for a moment "Listen Shiro can you come over? I'm home alone tonight."

"Uhhh…" Shit! What do I do? I can't just say no, he would be suspicious… Fuck that, he should have been suspicious a long time ago with your long pause ya idiot.

"Sure let me just leave a note for Tensa and the others." With that I hung up, left a note saying that I'll be at Ichigo's, and started heading to his house. When I got there Ichigo acted like nothing happened. But I was different; I kept avoiding him.

He looked like he couldn't stand the silence anymore, pinning me down on the couch and hovering over me.

"The hell Shiro!-?" I glared at him but it probably wasn't threatening because of the blush on my cheeks. I tried crossing my legs to hide a little problem of mine down south. I couldn't help it, being with him like this, knowing that he already had a girlfriend made me hotter for some reason. There should be a special little corner in hell for me.

Ichigo seemed to notice and closed his lips softly on mine. He pulled away for a moment and said "God you're beautiful."

I reacted immediately and intertwined my fingers in his hair, slamming my mouth on his, opening my mouth just a little bit to let his tongue in. God I missed his taste; it was hot and spicy like some kind of rare spice. It was intoxicating.

Soon he broke the kiss and started to make quick work of my pants, freeing my erection and starting to tease me with short licks, before he slowly licked from the base to the tip, running the tip of his tongue along the head of my dick.

"Oh god Ichigo," I moaned out. Then he took me in half way and sucked hard, making me moan pretty loud, I had to bite my hand to stifle my moans as he continued to torture me. Then I felt his slick fingers (when the fuck had he lubed them!-?) teasing my entrance before one slipped in.

"They might as well be seeing as she's practically glued to him all the time." I froze when I heard Tensa's words echo in my mind.

"Ichigo stop!" He looked at me confused as to what was going on, it soon turned into shock when he saw tears rolling down my cheeks

"Shiro!? Are you alright?" I shook my head. No I wasn't alright, my chest felt heavy and I couldn't breathe.

He pulled away from me to cup my cheeks "Shiro-" he was cut off by his phone vibrating; he looked at the caller ID for a moment before answering. "Hey Rukia."

I looked down, avoiding his gaze and shifted, feeling a bit awkward, the moment ruined.

"No, I'm not doing anything."

Scratch that, the moment was fucking dead! I got up pulled up my pants and left his house.

"SHIRO!" I heard him calling. He caught up with me in front of the park, grabbing my wrist with bruising force; thank god it was night. "What -huff- just happened?" he panted, trying to catch his breath.

I glared at him. "You tell me! One moment I'm beautiful the next I'm fucking nothing." He looked at me, surprised by my answer.

"Could you be… Fuck Shiro, you were the one who said you didn't want a relationship with me!" I looked down trying to shake him off but it wasn't working.

"I KNOW!" He flinched "I know. I thought I didn't want to, but fuck! I don't know what happened" I was trembling at this point, trying so desperately to hold my tears in.

"Shi" he said loosening his grip. I shook my hand and got free of him, rubbing the spot where he'd grabbed me

"It was all a mistake." He froze, looking at me as if I had grown two heads.

"Wha-"

"I should know better, there's no such thing as friends with benefits! That can't happen without one or the other wanting more," my arms went limp.

"Shiro i-"

"Don't say anything. Just ignore me and go back to your life." I turned to walk away before he tried to snatch my wrists again.

"Wait Shi-" a loud slap echoed through the otherwise quiet night.

"Don't fucking touch me," and with that I left him standing in front of the park, shocked and holding his sore cheek.

The next morning

"Shiro" I opened my eyes to see Tensa in his normal attire staring at me. I stretched popping a few joints which made him flinch; he never really liked those sounds

"Don't you have school?" He shook his head

"No, but you do. Go get dressed. I already took care of the twins." I stood up and grabbed my towel before heading to my bathroom

"Thank you Tensa."

"Shiro"

"Hmm?"

"I saw you last night."

Oh boy, "really now?"

He nodded. "Yeah we ran out of eggs so I went out to buy some." He rubbed the back of his head looking downwards "I'm sorry about what I said yesterday I didn't know tha-" he was stopped when I pressed my finger on his lips, getting him to shut up.

"We're not going to discuss this. Forget what you saw." I said before closing the door and taking a shower.

School was boring, I had to clean out my locker because apparently when you don't come to school for a fucking day, your locker gets flooded by letters from 'secret admirers.' I was about to dump them all in the trash when one caught my eye. It was orange while all the other letters were pink or blue, I only opened it because why the hell not? It's not like I'm going to my first class any time soon; it was too early.

'Meet me in the school yard at 8:30' I glanced at my watch seeing that it was 8:20, so I tossed the letter away and started walking to the school yard. The sight that greeted me was well… surprising.

Ichigo was standing there, his back against the wall, he seemed to not notice me yet so I turned around and started walking away.

"Shiro" he called out to me, I tried so hard not to look back I wanted to run away but my legs won't move. "Shiro look at me please" what do I do!-? It wasn't like there was a book for this kind of situation.

I took a deep breath and turned around, almost falling down when I saw Ichigo so close to me, but he caught me, puling me in for a hug. I squirmed trying to get free.

"I broke up with Rukia yesterday" well that's... wait WHAT! I looked at him dumbfounded "I went to her house after our little 'talk'. She was pretty upset… I think I can still feel the sting from the slap she gave me when I told her I was already in love with you". I blinked in confusion.

"What?" I squeaked out.

"I love you Shiro will you go out with me? " Ok now my face was trying to match the colour of Renji's hair.

"I-I um sure?" he grinned, before hugging me tighter. I buried my face in his chest to hide my embarrassment. Ok I might have failed on that 'friends with benefits' thing but who cares? I got Ichigo as my boyfriend and that never changed, ever.