DANGER MOUSE:
YOU LAUGH, YOU LOSE
Disclaimer: Danger Mouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC
Our home, this fragile Earth, only recently recovered from being bent and reshaped into that of a giraffe by a sensitive and serious armada of interplanetary clowns
But we're safe again, thanks to Danger Mouse.
Of course, had he not found this whole situation amusing in the first place, we wouldn't have endured this latest atrocity.
Take some notes DM, when next you big up your fifth encounter with an alien race under the assumption it's your first, try not to come across as someone who's watched one too many routines from Bernard Manning. Your hysterical outbursts could well have been considered politically incorrect.
Before you know it, we'll be putting a ban on all sorts of laughing matters.
"Oh do give it a rest Narrator, we've found something else to give us much needed merriment" said DM, pointing to the cabinet in front of him, Penfold, and Col.K.
He walked over to the cabinet and gently tapped the door.
"Professor?" he asked, "It's safe to come out now, the Balzaurions are all gone now"
There was no response.
"Oh don't be like that Professor" said DM.
"The Chief's right Professor, there's nothing to be frightened of"
"Yes there is" came a hyperbolic and panicked voice from inside the closet.
"What possibly could be unnerving you now?" DM asked.
"You think it's all over now, but you have to take into account the media blizzard that'll be on all week regarding this" said Squawkencluck.
"You mean you won't come out of there until there's no news coverage of the thing?" asked Penfold.
"You never know, it could open up all sorts of questions about what we consider funny and what we ought to take more seriously. We could end up with a referendum asking if we should or shouldn't laugh at clowns, whole circuses could be pulled from touring, the value of currency in that field of entertainment could drop" she continued.
"I think she's starting to cave in to the claustrophobia in there, we'd best pry her out" said Col. K, and ordered his agents to pry open the cabinet with a crowbar.
"You seem to be projecting an awful lot" said DM.
"But that's what the media do don't they?" Squawkencluck continued as she was led back to headquarters by Danger Moth, "They like to paint people with politically incorrect views as the crackpots. Don't you get the message of this episode? If you laugh, you lose. Look at what it nearly did to this planet"
"And look at what laughter did to SAVE the planet Professor" said DM, "I used my memories, and the legacy of my laughter, to get others to see the lighter side of life. We may have started off the day with a bit of a literal lemon, but by the end of it, we'd made a great deal of lemonade"
Squawkencluck smiled, she ceased to tremble, if ever so slightly, and reached out to pat DM on the head.
"Thanks for calming a hen's nerves Danger Mouse...though be warned, once this blitz cools, my temper's probably not going to, I won't forget you making fun of my fears in a hurry"
"Oh no rush Professor" said DM.
"Oh just you wait 'till I'm back on my feet Danger Mouse" said Squawkencluck, "You may not like the taste of the medicine, but you're going to have to take it" she said.
"Whatever did she mean by that?" DM asked.
Penfold nudged DM on the shoulder.
"In her mind chief, the best medicine to take with her sure isn't laughter, its tolerance"