A/N: Enjoy reading, perverts. There's a reason Hajime should be called the Ultimate Pimp.

PS. The title of the fanfic is a reference to Animaniacs, obviously. What was your first clue?

"Noo...stop...moving..." followed with a snore was what almost startled Hajime into consciousness. It wasn't until a soft warmth near his face was moving too much for a pillow that he woke up, his head aching from when you have just woken up from dream mode, his blurry gaze meeting with the cleavage of a nurse's apron, and then more movements...

Wait...what?!

Suddenly he was wide awake, heat rushing up to his cheeks.

Sleeping on top of him was none other than Mikan. Her chest was pressed into his head, hands wrapped around it, a calf hitched up over his chest, giving little to no imagination of how she must look like from different angles...especially the imagination of a teenage boy.

First of all, he didn't know what to do with his hands. They had been previously gripping onto what he thought was a suspiciously humanoid pillow, more specifically on her midwaist. After getting a proper grip on the situation, that this was inappropriate, he placed them on her shoulders, planning to do the obvious.

"Mikan...! Get...off...!" He shook, desperately trying to remove the subject of his worries before his hormones could kick in.

"No, stand still...horsey..." She hugged him tighter to her bust, an innocent sip of drool making its way down her cheek. To not have his face smeared up, he at least tried to angle his head the opposite way, earning a protesting whimper.

For a few seconds, he contemplated on how to handle the situation. And what few seconds those were. Every moment was pain to his conscience from seeing such a curvy female body up close without permission, but did it stop his body from reacting? Take a wild guess.

He felt he needed to do something quick, but as you think quickly, you usually mess things up, and that's what he found out. He sat up, which made her body slide down his own, the friction causing a reaction in his growing need, letting out a pant. Her legs where open around him, pelvis unintentionally grinding into his. The word close was a shamefully small word to what was happening, but what else can you go with? So they were close. Very close. Not even siametic twins could be closer.

She hadn't woken up yet, and was he glad about that, otherwise he would be up for the most embarrassing moment of his life. Hey, seeing yourself wake up on a guy's lap which wasn't keeping a secret it was pitching a tent wasn't exactly handwaving material.

He let out a relieving breath, glad that he now was free enough to push her gently off him, to leave the room, have his problem go away in its own time, and pretend none of this ever happened.

Those string of thoughts happened before Mikan began to move again. Those weren't just cuddling movements, like you did in your sleep. She was full-on grinding again, like she did earlier, and he felt his resolve crumble. Dear Lord, tell me this isn't happening...!

"Ride the horsey..." Mikan bubbled innocently, completely unaware she was doing something so unwholesomely up and down.

"Ah!" He yelped, feeling her round butt hit him there, over and over. You know when you shouldn't keep going, but you do it anyway? Well, many sexually-driven people know that feeling. The thing is, he was virgin, so he didn't, and thus the resolve to do the right thing was proving way too difficult.

"M-Mikan...don't..." Throughout all this, he was at least stern enough to keep his hands on the matress, and not go anywhere near her bottom as they were itching to do. Oh, he wished he could. In fact, if he wasn't so stubborn and righteous, he would have held her roughly and repay the sentiment like tomorrow wouldn't happen.

He was starting to lose it, his breaths coming in cloudy puffs, watching her the times he didn't keep his eyes closed. Mikan was also blushing heavily, crying out like a little puppy as she was unknowingly building up her own pleasure, still thinking it was innocent horse-riding in dream land. He was so embarrassed over the situation, but he couldn't move, much like a statue, as she was continuously gliding against him.

He supported his forehead on her shoulder, idly watching the cross on her apron with his half-lidded eyes. For some reason, he suddenly paid extra thought to the fact that she was a nurse, hoping it would distract him. How well was she immersed in her work? How well did she know how to tend wounds? How well...

He made a small, weak effort to pull himself, specifically manhood, away from her humping, but it proved futile.

How well did she...ah...know how his male body worked? Don't think so lustfully, jerk!

How would she describe it in detail? The process if its swelling? Stop thinking, pervert!

She must be one hell of a nurse; she must theoretically know well how to treat a boy. In many senses. Didn't I tell you to shut up?!

This was what sent him over. Not her body, not her whimpers, and for some reason, not her movements. But her talent.

You're the worst human being.

"Nurse...M-" His ejaculation cued. He was glad he wore pants before going to bed, because otherwise it would be all over her, and that wouldn't have been a very pleasant encounter for neither of them. But now he had to change clothes, he couldn't walk around all sticky in his underwear all day. Sigh. Oh well. It was better than the former scenario.

As he was recovering his breath something so odd happened, he needn't to worry about getting aroused again. Still sleeping, she crept up to him, face to face, and bit his cheek sloppily, generously drooling all over him.

"Marshmellow horsey...love you..." He snorted a chuckle. It was the only option that didn't sound weird to do.

"You're my horsey...my Haj-"

Before he could react to the unfinished sentence, the door to the room slammed open, immediately looking in that direction. Fuyuhiko. Squeaking, he quickly pushed her off and covered himself, paranoid that a fellow guy like him would've noticed the seed beyond his fly somehow.

"What the hell?!"

Fuyuhiko stood there for a while, shocked, processing the scene before him, but shook his head to maintain the reason he barged in here.

"Now's not the time to be pitching a tent, Hajime! You two need to come wi-"

"Tent? Yeah, you're a little too late." Hajime snorted cynically, looking over at the miraculously still sleeping Mikan, feeling almost overpowered with guilt.

A Nurse Storm tore it down. One I will name Mikan.

A/N: In reality I ship Hajime/Chiaki. Just sayin'.

People who read and don't review will get stalked by Nagito. Lol jk jk I'm just a fangirl of that crazy insane psycho lunatic. Hubba.

Good day, comrados!