This is a poem about abusive relationships and the damage they do. Sorta long…dedicated to myself and those have been or are still in an abusive relationship. I got out thankfully but I'm so afraid that I'm going to get sucked back in. R&R if you would please. And I have a poll up: I would be very grateful if you gave me your two cents! Hope you enjoy! ~Giftless Princess

The Abusive Relationship

Shackles: I feel them on my wrists

The heavy mental cuts into my skin

And in a life, a room, so full of twists

I see you sitting there, smiling with sin

That smile fills me with fear

It's a mix of malice and cunning and death

Not a smile so much as a snicker or a sneer

I take this moment to realize with the loss of breath

That you mean business and this isn't gonna end well

What did you do? Now the room is spinning now!

Colors and shapes bend and morph, what the hell?

And yet in all of this confusion something strangely becomes clear

Almost like a message waiting for me to decode

Something seems to grow and feel right when you're close and near

It's so right and yet wrong: we've found the road

The road to hell, and I don't think I can stop myself

You close the distance and seal our fate with a kiss

I throw caution to the wind and throw away my health

A kiss from you is so infectious that it's you I'll always miss

I'll miss you when this is done, assuming this ends

When did passion become so cold? I just want to go home

I guess we'll ride this wave until it breaks and bends

I can't stop my heart from beating like the fastest metronome

A smack, a hit, it's all the same to me, just another mark on flesh

Just another scar marring the skin of an angel, if I can be called something so pure still

Why are you so cruel to me? You love me, hurt me, make me fresh

And yet I can't will myself to leave this love, this wonderful, painful thrill

So what will you have me do? What will I have myself do?

The spinning speeds up, swirling us around faster. What will they say when they find us?

We're in too deep and I know now that I can't live without you

You can't be without me either: that realization is hidden behind every swear and cuss

Uttered in my direction. But something has to be done before we fall

So I take out a match

I feel nothing but emptiness, when I strike it against the dizzied broken wall

And watch the flames catch

They lick hungrily the room, like you do me

But the flames hurt everything they touch, just like you

We're not too different: fire and us, you see?

This needs to end: our ties need to be severed through and through

Come on darling, the flames get higher and the room gets hotter

You have the fire in your eyes of a different kind, a more vicious kind

I feel your gaze and know that I'm awaiting my own death and slaughter

With you as executioner: how could I've been so stupid, so blind?

A kiss. A kiss you give me once again, like what started this mess

It's still cold but right now I need it more than you could know

Hatred, love, pain, pity: burning in my heart, when it's over, they'll bless

They'll pray for us because they know where we will go

I feel my skin catch flame, I see yours light too

The physical pain hurts but it's what we deserve

I feel my sprit fly, and yours already flew

The last bit of blurry vision I have left hits a nerve

As with one final breath

I embrace my, our death

The people will wonder what happened but no one will know what went down as the living never do

No one will know that this is what an abusive lover will do to you, and then make you abusive too

~ Giftless Princess