A/n I had to write this for a class assignment- I have to read it in front of the class and have them analyze it on Wednesday... I'm FREAKING OUT because I dont like poetry and I'm well aware I'm no good at it. But I figured if I posted it on here I could get some honest feedback on what works and what needs to be changed before I completely embarrass myself. I based it on the In For A Penny but I also know she actually doesn't hug him but I had to add two examples of imagery using the five senses.. READ AND TELL ME WHAT TO FIX? PLEASE? I'm desperate...
Daddy Issues
Birthday cake tastes different when you're not there
It's not as sweet as it should be. The icing is bitter. Even the freshest of cakes tastes like cardboard.
I remember I used to make excuses for you:
'Maybe its better that he isn't here, the clown sucks anyway. He can't even juggle.
Maybe the music's too annoying, I should have picked a Tears For Fears playlist instead of Cindy Lauper- he likes them better'
But after a while I knew it wasn't a matter of not liking Girls Just Wanna Have Fun or non-juggling clowns
You just had a long list of important things and I didn't even make the last spot.
Missed graduations and recitals fly by like a pitiful montage. So I grew up. Time cut. 21 years later.
I didn't invite you. You showed up anyway. Things were magically going to fix themselves.
You were 'turning a corner.' Again.
After so many turns, you end up where you started. But this time I wanted to believe you changed.
Don't ask me why. You'd think in my 30 years I'd have known better.
But I let you stay.
I even let you hug me. I noticed your cologne choice hadn't changed in 25 years: Old Spice.
I loved that smell when I was 5 but over the years I knew it was the smell of disappointment.
But I forgot the smell when you handed me a slice of cake.
I looked down at it, hoping, wondering if it would taste better this time.
It didn't.
It still had the taste and the smell of daddy issues.