A/N: Welcome!
The following story is the result of watching many different episodes at Supernatural from different seasons late into the night. I watched an episode from first season and some from later seasons and the idea of this story came to my mind and I had to write it.
It is set after the episode 7x17 ("The Born Again Identity"), so Sam is recovering from his insomnia and Dean drives the shit car of the week.
The story is beta'd by cartersdaughter. I thank her from the bottom of my heart because she increases the quality of my story and makes really helpful suggestions.
I still don't own the Winchesters.
I hope you enjoy reading!
Unexpected Reunion
He opens his eyes. His head is throbbing, and his back is aching. A groan escapes his lips. He lies in the middle of a field. It's a big, wide, green field in the middle of nowhere. Nothing is unusual, except the fallen rotting trees all around the field. It's daytime. The sky is blue, and the sun is shining, penetrating his eyes and increasing his migraine. He has no idea where he is or why he is here. He has no clue what has happened.
All he knows is he shouldn't be here. He should be dead. Because the last thing he remembers is making a deal with the yellow-eyed demon for his son's life, saying goodbye to his sons (and telling Dean his awful secret) before collapsing dead on the floor heading for hell. He should not be alive. Death is final. And why does his soul still have a body? His body shouldn't exist. It should be ashes, because he is sure he got a hunter's funeral. The only explanation, which makes sense, is a deal and, oh god, he wants to dismiss this thought because the only ones who would make deals for him are his sons, and they can't do that to him. He may have never shown it openly, but his sons mean everything to him. They are his life.
Nothing really makes sense. His body hurts, and he wants nothing more to sleep and wait until (or better yet if) somebody finds him and drags him back to civilization. But he can't do that because he needs answers. What happened to him? Why is he here and how? Is the yellow-eyed demon dead? Where are his sons, and are they doing okay? Has Dean saved Sam or…? He can't think about that, but he has to do something.
First, he starts to check himself. His body is aching all over but intact. A weird scar is on his arm he has no idea where it came from. The scar has the form of a hand and it is red. He just knows this scar must mean something bad. Everything is getting more confusing by the second. Somehow, he will find answers.
He sees he is still wearing the same clothes from the day he died. Luckily, he even has his cell phone in his pocket and a gun tucked in his jeans (you never know what you need it for). He tries to call his sons. Their numbers are all disconnected, so he tries calling Bobby and Missouri, which doesn't work either. He can't think of anybody else that would be safe to call.
An uneasy feeling is settling inside his stomach. No, he is not worrying.
Everything is okay. His sons are doing just fine. Hunters have to change their numbers all the time. That is completely normal.
He notices something else. He has no idea how much time has passed. His phone is from the year 2006 and he is in the year…he doesn't have the slightest idea. Everything is just so confusing.
He can't reach anybody, and he has no idea where he is. He can't wait for someone to save him. He needs to take matters in his own hands. The hunter extraordinaire he is should make it possible. He stands up and feels a little dizzy but starts walking hoping to find a street, a trail, anything to lead him to civilization, so he can research and make sense of all his confusing thoughts.
He walks through the field. It's long and exhausting – more than it should be. Coming back from the dead will do that to you. At the end of the field, he takes a closer look at all the dead trees. He furrows his brows. This is not only weird, but seems so bad. Maybe it is a sign of evil interference? It seems supernatural, and supernatural creatures are always bad. There are no grey zones. The dead trees reach about a kilometer into the distance. He hikes through the mess, and his blood is running cold. This is creepy. He is supposed to be a fearless hunter, and he is it most of the time. But he is just back from the dead, helpless and clueless in the middle of nowhere, seeing signs which seem very evil. Even a strong, strict, scary, and fearless hunter like John Winchester is allowed to feel the creeps sometimes.
He hikes all the way around the forest of dead, eerie trees. It feels like an eternity has passed when he reaches the end of the dead area and sees the edge of a forest, but it has been merely some hours. The sun is still shining (not as strongly as before; it is probably afternoon).
The forest looks like a normal forest. Trees are everywhere, blocking the sun from reaching the ground. Birds sing. The wind makes a rustling sound as it blows through the leaves. The sound of splattering water is a constant background noise.
The sound of water makes him realize how thirsty he is, and his stomach is grumbling too. When was the last time he drank or ate? He follows the sound of water and reaches a clear and blue stream. He collects some water in his hands and drinks the cool liquid happily. The water trickling down his throat feels refreshing and clears his head – some. When he is done, he starts to go on hiking. He is still in the middle of nowhere, and he has to move on. Maybe he would find a path?
He hikes until the sun sets. He leans against a tree and sleeps. He is terribly tired, and it is way too dark to walk through a forest, anyway. An owl scowls from up in an oak tree, and the full moon is lighting the otherwise dark sky.
When the sun begins to rise and the morning birds begin to sing their song, John Winchester rises too. He needs a moment to remember why he is in a middle of a forest. When he does, he gets up and starts hiking again. He has a mission (find answers), and he will fulfill it. His stomach is grumbling, and he feels thirsty, but there is nothing he can do about it. He just walks hoping to get to civilization.
It takes hours of hiking until John sees an empty street through all the trees. The street seems like a mirage after this never-ending hike. He speeds up his walking. The street is real. He has reached something. There is not only the determination to find civilization, but there is a good chance now to actually do it.
He walks alongside the street. It is empty, abandoned even. For hours, he sets one foot in front of the other (even if his body is exhausted and tired and does not want to go on) and there is nothing. Not one car has passed him. He has not seen another human soul since he has been back.
Then he sees a gas station. The sign is dirty and chipped, and the windows are broken. He enters the station. It looks empty and abandoned – what a surprise. It looks like it had been left by the owner one day, and nobody has taken care of it (except maybe some burglars). There are still some bottles of water and some sweets on otherwise empty shelves. It's not the mealtime he has longed for, but it is nourishment, and he takes it gladly. It feels so good to eat some M&Ms and drink water.
He looks around. An old newspaper is lying on the counter. He takes the already yellowed paper in his hand. The letters are already faded. They used to be black, but they are just a soft gray now. He reads the headlines. A horrible earthquake appalled Haiti and the world even four months after happening. The explosion of an oil well polluted the oceans. President Obama signed Obamacare, a healthcare law. And of course there were some freak accidents.
John Winchester had missed the whole election of a president, and he asks himself how long he has been gone. His eyes travel to the date on the paper. It says "May2nd 2010". His heart makes a funny jumping thing for two reasons. First, he has been gone for more than four years, probably five or six. This gas station is long abandoned, and the newspaper is old. He asks himself what had happened in the last years. (The events of the last years couldn't be too bad; the world was still standing.) Second, the date of the paper is his son's birthday, and his heart aches for Sam and Dean. He remembers the day Sam was born, and he had held the little bundle of joy in his arms while four-year-old Dean watched astonished.
John asks himself if Sam and his older brother are doing ok. Are they even still alive? Yes, they are. He can't think anything else. How horrible would it be, if whatever had brought him back to life has brought him to a life without his sons? Besides, Sam and Dean have each other to look out for. They are doing alright. John Winchester just has to believe that.
His eyes travel through the small gas station. He sees a series of "Supernatural" novels on one shelf. He doesn't know why, but he reads the back of the book "In My Time of Dying", and he ends up gasping for air. Is he in the Twilight Zone? This book just tells the story of his deal and death. He reads a few backs of the other books, too. They are all about Sam's and Dean's life. They are nearly like (weird) gospels. He doesn't know they are in fact gospels. The existence and possibility of such novels doesn't make sense to him, and various texts on the backs of the books are making him feel very, very uneasy. However, these books could give him some of the answers he is looking for, at least about his boys. He just is not sure, if he will like what he is going to read.
He takes all the novels after "In My Time of Dying", sits down, and reads them. The cold floor is uncomfortable, but he could not care less. His eyes are glued to the books, to the information about his sons.
He is pretty sure the content of the book is true as a result of the reflection of the reality in "In My Time of Dying". He needs answers and he thinks this book will offer. He could go to Bobby or Missouri, but it would take time and he has no idea where he is, nor does he have a car and he does not know what has changed over the years. Maybe these books will give him a lead. He needs to know about Sam and Dean, now. It is irrational. Waiting a day longer or two to inform himself about his boys won't change anything. He has been gone for six years after all. Yes, he still needs to find civilization, but the curiousness about his boys wins over the quest for civilization.
His emotions take a little rollercoaster ride while reading. From smiling about his sons' typical banter and jokes and Sam's clown phobia, guilt about putting so much pain on them (especially on Dean) by making the deal, to compassion, fatherly love, and pain. There is everything.
He reads all day and all night and nearly all of the next day. It is probably dumb to give up his search for civilization like that. It's just that his eyes are glued to the books. He can't help it. Besides, he doesn't have a car to get away and he doesn't have the possibility to call somebody. His cell phone is discharged by now and there is no working telephone here. He is a hunter and he can help himself to find civilization. He just doesn't want to. The information of the books is holding him a prisoner. It's like reading a really suspenseful book you can't stop reading, except that the content of these books is real.
He does not notice how tired he is getting; he is so focused on reading about his sons' life. Yes, singular. They share a life. And some of the revelation in the novels nearly gives him a heart attack and an aneurysm and a second heart attack.
Gordon Walker, a hunter, tried to kill Sam. Dean was crippled by his dark secret, and Sam was scared to death about his future. Dean was tired of his life, and Sam nearly got infected with the Croatoan Virus, but he was immune. Both of them met other special kids just like Sam.
But the first really heart-stopping revelation is offered in the book "All Hell Brakes Loose Part One". Reading about his youngest son being stabbed in the back in Cold Oak, North Dakota, and dying in his eldest son's arms makes him feel broken. At that moment, John Winchester feels two things: rage at Jake and grief of losing a son. Yes, John had said Sam must be killed, but only if he could not be saved. And when Jake killed Sam, his son was still Sammy and nothing evil or bad. John can admit he cries openly while reading about his younger son's death and thinking about how deeply he feels for his other son, who had to experience it in person.
John wants to stop reading because it is so painful to read that about his boys. He knows he cannot stop reading. He needs to know what happened after Sam died, and there are two parts to the story.
The second part is not any better than the first. It just makes John want to heave. Dean made a deal for Sam. They killed the Yellow-eyed demon, and John escaped hell (which he did not remember), and seen his sons one last time.
Killing the Yellow-eyed demon was the goal in John's life since his wife died. Reading about the events happened because of it John is not so sure if it was really worth it. He feels remorse and pain at seeing what it had done to his sons.
The worst novel is the last. It ends with Dean being dragged by hellhounds to hell and leaving Sam alone. Nothing comes after that, and John Winchester feels horrible. There are no more novels. Is Dean still in hell? What happened to Sam after his brother…? John starts gagging and pukes.
The novels tell him about his children. But the novels haven't told him what he wants to hear.
He is dead tired after reading through all the novels written by Carver Edlund (Who is he? And why does he write such books?), but he couldn't sleep. Millions of thoughts are running through his head. He would do anything to help his sons and undo what he had read about.
A little while later, his body wins over his mind, and he falls asleep. He is plagued by nightmares about his sons and wakes up gasping some hours later.
He sets new priorities. He needs to find Sam, if he is still alive. No, he cannot think like this. Sam will be fine, and Dean is probably okay, too. They would have found a way to rescue Dean from hell just as John returned somehow, too. He can not believe anything else because if he does, he would fall apart, a broken and crying mess on the floor.
It is time to move on from here. He leaves the gas station and looks around. There is an old abandoned car, a '51 Chevrolet. The car is standing next to the gas station. It is hidden between some old withered bushes. It looks like it has grown into the environment covered all in dirt and withered plants. He hasn't seen it before, because he was so focused on getting in the gas station and finding something to drink and eat in order to survive his hunt for answers. After hiking through the wilderness for days he wasn't alert and he was exhausted. The car is rusty, and the blue paint is chipping. He hotwires the car, and it drives, even if the car makes unhealthy sounds. The rear of the car is scraping while moving and the brakes make a rhythmic noise at low speed. The engine hesitates and a popping sound can be heard. John knows the best days of this car's life are long over, but the car is a mean of transportation and he gladly takes it.
The radio works, too. He turns it on. It sounds static, but it works. He hears a news anchor speaking, but can barely understand whole sentences because of the static. At least, he knows the exact date now: March 25th, 2012 He has been gone for nearly six years. He turns the radio off again.
He has no idea where he is going, nor does he have an ID or money or anything at all. He just drives.
He drives without a destination following the street hoping to end up in a city. He ends up in a town named Whitefish in Montana. What happens next is a complete coincidence, which seems like a twist of fate to John. Later, he may say he has been lead by a higher power or destiny to this town and this is something his boys would laugh about because destiny? That is not what it is cracked up to be. He sees a passerby walking alongside the pavement with a bag of groceries to a car. He has to blink twice. This seems like an illusion. This guy looks like his son, just some years older than he remembers him.
For a moment, he is paralyzed. He wanted nothing more than to meet his sons, and now, he has seen one (at least, he is pretty sure this is Dean), he is kind of scared. How would they react? What should he say? Would they still welcome him home?
Then Dean starts to drive away, and John follows him. Dean drives a junk car and John wonders why he doesn't drive the Impala. He remembers how connected his son was to his so called baby. However, it is just a secondary subject. They are way more important questions.
Dean drives to a remote cabin. John is thinking about his next move. Should he approach carefully, or should he go like a bull at a gate. He decides on the second.
While Dean is trying to hold the grocery bag and open the wooden door of the cabin, he hears a voice calling out his name, a very familiar voice. Dean turns around and nearly drops the grocery bag. There stands a guy looking exactly like his father when he died.
"Dean," John says relieved. He is smiling. It is so wonderful to see his son again, especially after he had read how Dean had been dragged to hell. He hopes for a hug, for an emotional reunion, but it doesn't happen.
Dean sits the grocery bag down on the floor and comes closer to John Winchester. Dean grasps his father by the arm and drags him to the trunk of the car without saying a word. Silently, he performs all the usual tests with John Winchester – they are all negative.
Dean clears his throat. "So, you're really back?" Dean sounds accepting. He doesn't seem surprised somebody just treats someone coming back from the dead like it is nothing unusual. His voice is void of the happiness or the love John has hoped for.
"Yes, it's me," John confirms and smiles. There stands his son, whole and big and independent, alive. He is overwhelmed and wants nothing more than to hold his son in his arms. When he died, he never thought he would see Dean again and now here his son is.
Dean doesn't offer a hug or some other sign of affection and happiness. It's not like he isn't glad to see his dad again. Really, he is happy. He has longed for him to return sometimes, but now that it has happened Dean can't help but feel uneasy. He is shocked, and so much has happened since his dad died. He loves his father (He is family, and he is his father), but they also have many issues. The failures of his father (secrets about Sam, Adam, his education…) are things Dean can't forget. He knows this reunion will be complicated. When people come back from the dead, it is always complicated. He just hopes John Winchester will realize things have changed, and he cannot command his children anymore, and he won't fight with Sam.
The atmosphere is thick and heavy. John Winchester returning from the dead opens up more questions and issues, "Okay." Dean replies. "Come on in the cabin." Dean turns to walk to the cabin, takes the groceries and enters while John is following.
The cabin is not in the best condition. The furniture is old and looks like it has experienced better days, but it looks homier than most places they used to stay at.
In the cabin, Dean sets the grocery bag on a counter and turns to the fridge, retrieving two beers. Both, father and son, sit down at the kitchen table with a cold beer in hand.
John sips his beer (How good it tastes!). He is the first one to speak.
"Sam?" he asks. He needs to know about his younger son.
"Wow Dad, don't be stingy with words. Sam is here. I'll tell you more, later. First, I ask the questions. How did you get back?" Dean asks. John is the one who returned from the dead, so he is the one who needs cross examination.
"I have no idea." He isn't surprised to be interrogated. He teached his sons to regard something with suspicion after all. Being back from the dead after six years he expected the cross examination. He is still confused about how he got back and how this meeting is even possible, so how can he give his sons answers? He wonders why Dean won't tell him about Sam. Is it just Dean's normal protectiveness or is there more to it? There are a million thoughts running through his head.
Dean raises an eyebrow skeptically. He is confused and shocked at having his father back and having so many new questions. Everything seems surreal. How can that be? He doesn't know how he should respond to this turn of events, so he does as the only way he feels capable of. He interrogates his father for information and he is mistrustful. It's his favorite emotion since Cas has betrayed him. He can't handle anything else right now. He has to make sure of the situation, before he starts to get attached to his father and he has to make his father understand he is not a soldier anymore.
"The last thing I remember is dying, and then I woke up in a field in the middle of nowhere and have this weird scar on my arm." Dad informs, while lifting his shirt and showing the pink mark in form of a hand.
Dean inspects the mark knowingly. He has seen this before, on himself.
"Congrats, Dad. You felt the angel touch."
Angels? John is shocked. The revelation about angels rises above his belief and knowledge about the supernatural. He can't help but answer, "Angels aren't real."
"Yes, they are," Dean insists. "Believe me, we know. They are really bad dicks," Dean explains. He remembers how he first got to know an angel and didn't believe they existed and all experience with the angels since then – mostly bad experience.
"Why would an angel rescue me?" John interrupts his son. The question is just gushing out of him. He asks the exact same question Dean asked when he returned from hell.
"How should I know? Do I look omniscient to you?" Dean replies.
He is way more snarky and sarcastic than John thinks is appropriate. The father wants to remind his son that you don't talk to your father like this but doesn't. He is at his son's mercy since his son has answers, and he is clueless.
"How did you even find us?" Dean asks. He and Sam live under the radar.
"Coincidence. When I woke up in the field, I started to travel. I landed at an abandoned gas station and found books about you, and then I hotwired a car and ended up here seeing you walking on the sidewalk…"
Dean chokes on his beer. His father had read the Winchester gospels? Hallelujah.
Dad notices his son's reactions and goes on talking. "I guess you know about these books? The end was kind of horrible," John cringes remembering the heart-stopping feeling when he read about Dean being dragged to hell, and Sam crying over his brother's dead and shredded body.
Dean feels really uncomfortable that his father had read the gospels. There is so many private and personal feelings and so much information in them. Experiences which belong just to Sam and Dean, and no one else should know about them.
"Me going to hell? That wasn't the end. The books end with Sam beating the devil." Dean explains casually, and this time it is John's turn to choke on his bear. "But apparently, we were scary enough to prevent our lovely prophet Chuck from publishing those books."
John Winchester is speechless. This information just overwhelms and confuses him.
Dean has to chuckle. He has never seen his father speechless before. That is a first.
John needs a moment to find his composure and asks, "Do you mind expanding? What the hell happened while I was gone?"
"It's kind of a long story," Dean answers, but does not really want to share. He looks down at the table and avoids his father's tense look. So many events and experiences are things he just wants to forget (like Sammy being in hell with Lucifer).
"Yeah, well. I have time," John replies casually. He wants to know, and he needs to know. It was about his sons after all, the most important people in his life.
"Okay, here's a short version of the last couple of years: While I was in hell, I broke the first seal and was rescued by an angel to stop the apocalypse. Sam broke the last seal and released Lucifer from hell. We were both at odds, and the angels wanted to use us as vessels for the archangels, Lucifer and Michael, in the apocalyptic fight. We said no. Then, Sam came up with the idea to say yes to being Lucifer's vessel, take control, open the cage, and jump in. He succeeded. Sam was rescued from the cage by an angel, but without his soul, which was still down there."
Dean stops for a moment taking a brief break. God, it is hard to re-live these years. He is withholding some information from his dad. His dad doesn't need to know about Sam's addiction, mom's deal, or the trips to the past.
John feels out of breath. His sons have been through so much.
Dean goes on telling his story, "I made a deal with Death to get Sam's soul back. Death put a wall up, so Sam wouldn't be crippled by memories of hell and soullessness. But an angel broke it down while on a soul power trip and released some ancient creatures from purgatory, so now we are trying to stop the Leviathans and deal with the fallout."
John feels like he cannot breathe. Both his sons have been in hell and lived through complete disasters. He never wanted such a life for his boys. He wanted them to be safe.
"I know, it is a lot to take in," Den reassures his father. For the first time, he sounds sympathetic.
John chokes a little bit and then says words he never expected to say, "I am so, so sorry. I failed you."
Dean is surprised to hear these words. His Dad is apologizing for something? That is the second first in one day.
"Don't be." As much as he likes hearing his dad apologizing for failing his sons, he knows his father did the best he could, and the brothers were screwed with long before they were born. Dean still likes to hold grudges against his father, because it is easier to have somebody to blame, but he knows it is not fair. "We were screwed with long before we were born. It's not your fault."
Dean words are a balm for John's soul. His son eases his newly won pain over his children's destiny. Still, John can't help but feel responsible for his sons.
He still needs to see Sam. He is longing for his youngest son, especially after hearing about Sam's experience with Lucifer.
"Dean, I need to see Sam," Dad demands. It isn't a question; it is more of an order.
Dean gives his father a look. The time for orders is long over. Still, he fulfills his father's wish, knowing the feeling to need to see somebody so badly. He orders his father to follow him. They end up in front of a small bedroom. "Sam is sleeping in here. You wait, and I'll go inside and get him, okay?" Dean leaves no room for resistance. He is still as protective of Sam as John remembers, and with Dean, there is no arguing about Sam.
John nods and stays where he is. His sons are both over 30 years old and Dean is still protective over Sam. John feels mixed about this. He is worrying. An overprotective Dean could mean something is seriously wrong with Sam. He feels like he has been treated disrespectful. Taking orders from his son is not what John Winchester usually does. But he knows better than to answer back, when Dean is overprotective of his brother. Dean's protectiveness doesn't surprise him. He is the one who laid a baby Sam in Dean's arm and made Dean feel responsible for him ever since. Like his sons will always be his children to him, Sam will always be the baby brother to his firstborn son, who Dean loves more than everything else and who needs protection.
Dean opens the door, walks to the bed, and gently touches Sam's forearm.
"Sleeping beauty… Rise and shine." He sounds mocking and comforting at the same time, and John wonders how this is even possible.
John wonders, too, why Sam is sleeping in the middle of the day. Is Sam okay? He can see Sam a little bit from standing in front of the door watching through a slit. His son looks older than John remembers him. His hair is longer and tousled (He just woke up.). His face is looks a bit haggard. He is more muscular than John remembers him being, but also looks overall tired and exhausted. Some laceration and bruises are covering his son.
Sam is slowly waking up; his eyes are opening a crack getting used to the bright daylight.
"De'n.?" Sam asks still sleepy and confused.
John thinks back to a little Sammy waking up. He was always confused and sleepy after waking up and he was looking for cuddle time with his family. When John was not away on a hunt, he treasured the morning moments with his youngest and he is sorry he missed so many of them. Sam used to be such an innocent sweet child. Now he is a grown up hunter and still so many things remind John of his little baby son.
Dean sits down on the bed next to Sam. He is really gentle and comforting. "Yeah, it's me. You slept long enough, Sasquatch. How do you feel?" he asks his deep voice showing all the affection he has for Sam.
Just a day and a half ago, they were in the mental ward of a hospital with Sam suffering from hell-induced insomnia The moment Sam was good to go Dean grabbed him and brought him to this cabin to recover. Until now, Sam was sleeping, and Dean used the time to buy necessities.
"Very tired, but good," Sam's voice is thick with sleep. Dean throws a questioning look at him, and Sam smiles reassuring. Lucifer is gone, and he really is good, okay?
Dean takes a relieved breath. Nearly losing Sam still makes him feel shaken. "That's to be expected after ten days of insomnia." The comment has the typical sarcastic sound Dean's comments usually have, though the relief is clearly showing in his voice too.
He takes a bottle of water from the bedside table and gives it to his brother, who gladly accepts the liquid and gulps the drink down like he hasn't drunk or eaten anything in days (He probably hasn't with Lucifer screwing with his mind).
John observes the interaction of his sons with mixed emotions. It is heart warming to see the devotion between the brothers. Maybe he hasn't been a perfect father, but he raised his children to be good brothers to each other. He also is worried about Sam because Sam is running on empty and looks so unhealthy. Though he knows Sam is in good hands with Dean taking care of him.
Even if he is still sleepy, Sam realizes something is off with his brother, and it is not just the "I'm still shaken that my baby brother nearly died" vibe he is feeling but more.
"Dean? What's up?" Sam asks concerned.
Dean takes a moment to phrase his next sentences.
"We've got a guest…" Dean says cryptically, and Sam raises an eyebrow demanding his older brother to expand. "It's dad. He was rescued by an angel and showed up here."
Sam reacts confused and shocked. That information comes as a surprise.
"Dad? … Why?" He asks and doesn't find the right words.
"Yeah. It's really Dad. Weird, huh? I have no idea why," Dean answers eyeing his brother.
John is overwhelmed by his emotions while watching his sons' familiar interaction. It's still there, this unbreakable bond and this never-ending love between the brothers. He is so glad to have his sons. At the same time, he is worried because Dean is so worried about Sam, and Sam hasn't slept for days on end. What the hell happened to them? They deserve better; they deserve good. Why are his sons always confronted with pain, drama, and grief?
Sam's feelings about his father's return match his brother's feelings about it in many ways. He is just shocked, and so much has happened since his dad died. He loves his father (He is family, and he is his father), but they also have many issues. He has forgiven his father's failures a long time ago, but they are not forgotten. He knows this reunion will be complicated. When people come back from the dead, it is always complicated, but he is happy. He missed his dad. In spite of all their problems, Sam has missed his father and is happy to be able to see him again.
Dean gives his father a hand sign to come into the room, and John carefully steps in.
"Sammy?" John asks and smiles. It's weird to call this big, muscular, grown-up guy, who beat the devil and saved the world, "Sammy", but Sam is his youngest son and always will be a "Sammy" for him.
Sam is smiling, and his dimples show. He waves his father to come nearer and sit down on his bed, while Dean makes room.
John takes the offer and sits down on the bed.
Sam greets his dad still not really believing all this. It feels like a dream. He opens his arms and hugs his father, feeling the firm body next to his, holding onto him.
John smiles and tears of joy come to his eyes. It is so good to see Sam and to hold his son in a hug. He finally has the affectionate reunion he was hoping for. It is surprising Dean is so reserved while Sam is so openhearted. It was Dean, who had admired his father more than anything and Sam, who always fought with him. Then again, things have changed. And Dean had always been more reserved with his emotions than Sam.
They hold onto each other for quite a while, enjoying the moment of the reunion. Both know hard times will arise and that problems and issues are waiting for them.
When they let go, Dean rises to speak, "Let's get something to eat, shall we?" He is really hungry, and his stomach is grumbling. If he is hungry, Sam must be starving because his baby brother hasn't eaten in days and is losing weight.
Both other Winchester men agree. John stands up, and Sam is getting out of bed. His body is still hurting a little bit after getting hit by a car, but it is manageable. His knees feel wobbly, and he feels dizzy and weak after his ordeal in the mental hospital. Dean notices and offers to let his brother lean on him. Sam takes the offer and walks supported by Dean to the kitchen.
John eyes his sons worriedly but decides to keep his mouth shut. He knows them both well enough to know not to interfere when Dean is this protective. The only thing he can do for now is watch and ask for an explanation later.
Dean sits Sam down on a chair.
Sam hisses in pain.
"Is your rib still bothering you?" Dean asks totally ignoring his father's questioning looks.
Sam rolls his eyes. It is so typical for Dean to worry about all the little pains and aches of Sam Winchester. It's the reason the youngest Winchester doesn't care too much about himself. Dean has it already covered. "It's not too bad. No big deal." Sam reassures his elder and smiles weakly at him.
"Running in front of a car is a big deal for me, Sam." Dean retorts, and John is gasping for air in shock, but his sons ignore him like he isn't there.
"Hey, I was a little nuts at the time..." Sam defends himself. Remembering how the need to sleep had screwed with his mind and made him so tired that he wanted nothing more than not to be awake no matter how it happened.
"Yeah I noticed…" Dean replies flatly and adds a concerned question, "But you are okay now?" Dean can't help it. He has to worry about his brother. Sam is all he's got after all, and Dean is not willing to loose him, never.
"As I already said, yes I am. Stop worrying." Sam is annoyed at his brother's over protectiveness, but at the same time understands it very well. He enjoys his brother's affection and feels smothered simultaneously. He knows his brother is allowed to be freaked after this last close call.
"I'm just asking. Don't be a bitch," Dean says and turns his focus carefully on his baby brother's injuries. He cleans and redresses the lacerations, while bantering with Sam.
"It's better than to be an annoying mother hen."
"I'm just your awesome big brother."
John sees the familiar interaction and is surprised at how everything has changed in a matter of years and is all still the same. He is so curious about the events of the last weeks, but he doesn't think it is the right time to ask.
When Dean is finished redressing his brother's lacerations, he goes to the fridge and asks his brother what he wants to eat.
"The most delicious sandwich this world has to offer," Sam answers. Dean and John both know which sandwich Sam is talking about. It has been his favorite since he was a little kid. A sandwich with peanut butter and banana is Sam's idea of good food. Dean isn't surprised his brother wants it; he actually thought this would be Sam's food wish and bought all the fixings.
This isn't delicious. It is disgusting," Dean answers while he starts to prepare Sam's sandwich. He doesn't understand how Sam can like a sandwich like this. Then again, Sam likes healthy food and salads, and Dean doesn't understand that either. Why has a salad, if you could have a burger? Anyway, his brother gets his sandwich.
Then Dean asks John what he wants to eat.
"I don't care. As long as it is food, I am good," His father replies.
Dean makes himself and his father a sandwich with ham and cheese and puts a cherry pie on the dining table as well. Yes, when Dean is shopping for groceries, he actually gets his pie.
They start to eat, and John finally finds the moment to break the silence and speak up.
"What the hell happened to you?" he asks Sam. Dad used to sound accusing when he asked questions like this, but right now, he just sounds worried and confused.
Sam throws a questioning look at his father. How much does his dad know about the last years?
Dean is nodding reassuring.
"Dean told you already about the cage and the wall?" Sam asks to strike up the conversation.
John nods, eyeing his son sadly. Oh god, his son had been in hell with the devil. This thought makes his stomach churn.
"Well. An angel broke down the wall, and I started to go a little crazy. I hallucinated the devil, and I was plagued by insomnia for days. I even ran in front of a car. I was really desperate, but I am good now. No need to worry," Sam reassures, and his face lightens up to calm his father. He has never seen John Winchester this disturbed before.
John winces while hearing about his son's hell issues. He would love to take his sons' pain and problems on him. He would do it in a heartbeat, but he cannot. He feels a deep sense of pride in both his sons. They went through all this shit and here they are still strong and brotherly. Not the devil, not hell, and not anything else has destroyed or broken them beyond repair. John Winchester is proud and feels fortunate.
He feels a strong feeling of anger and a need for revenge, too. Everybody who has hurt his sons should pay for it.
It's like Dean can read his thoughts because his eldest son says, "Really Dad. We can handle ourselves. We have for long enough."
That is the moment John realizes he is not needed. His sons are good on their own. No matter what shit comes flowing their way, they are handling it. He has raised them to be on their own, but it is still a stab in the heart his sons don't need him anymore. At least, he is still welcomed.
"I know. I am sorry, boys. You shouldn't have had to go through all that crap," he answers sincerely. He is sorry for his failures. He is sorry for everything which wasn't in his hands. He just wishes his sons would have an easier life. One different decision on his part could have turned everything around or maybe not. Musing about the past doesn't help. What happened has happened and can't be changed.
"But we did. We went through all the pain and loss. Somehow, we made it through. We're good. We're used to our lives being messed up," Dean replies, and he means it. Right now, he has all he can ask for: a healthy Sam, a roof and four walls, food, and nobody is directly trying to kill or torture them. It's more than he or Sam can ask for. Yes, there are the Leviathans and all the questions (Why was Dad rescued? From where was he rescued since he escaped hell?), but they are good.
"Wow. This is really weird. I swear if the hallucinations weren't gone, I would swear I am still on my crazy trip," Sam muses and laughs softly. This thick atmosphere, all the problems and the questions are standing between them, and yes, it is really weird. But can't they just enjoy being a family for some time, before the roof breaks down on them? And this is going to happen sooner or later.
"Let's just take a break from all the problems and enjoy the moment… I'm still so tired, anyway," Sam exclaims and gives his brother and father the irresistible puppy dog look.
"Dean's favorite show, Doctor Sexy MD, is on soon..." Sam explains and smiles softly at his brother.
Dean huffs and defends himself, "It's not my favorite show. I am not a fan."
John has to laugh at his son's usual pattern of behavior. "Sure you aren't, son."
When they are finished eating, Dean supports Sam, and all three men walk to the couch. They sit down on the couch and turn on the TV.
Dean gets three beers and snacks. He gets licorice, which Sam claims is disgusting, and chips.
They sit there as a family watching TV. It all is so normal. Partway through the second episode, Sam falls asleep sitting between his brother and father. His head rests in turns on his father's and on his brother's shoulder (The guy moves a lot while sleeping), and John and Dean enjoy the peaceful look on the youngest face, even if Dean will mock Sam later for it.
The situation is weird. Then again, weird is normal for the Winchesters.
There are still a lot of questions and problems, and having their Dad around will definitely complicate everything.
Later, John will apologize to Sam for his secret, for their fights, and for everything that he has done wrong, and Sam will tell John he is long forgiven, and Sam understands.
John will also apologize to Dean for all the burdens he loaded his son with, for all the secrets, and for all his failures. Dean will thank his dad for the apology but will also explain he knows Dad did the best he could, and Dean stopped blaming him a long time ago.
John will have to learn his place in this family has changed. He isn't a drill sergeant anymore, and he can't be one because if he is, his sons will send him away. His sons are grown-up heroes, and they are independent and equal. They will have to try the new dynamics of their relationship out.
They will go on a quest to defeat the Leviathans.
The longer John is around the more he will find out (Bobby's death, Mary's deal, trips to the past, Dick Roman, Angels, Meg…There is a lot John has no clue about).
John will also have to accept Sam and Dean are a unit, and he isn't allowed to come between them.
The future is going to be hard, and there will be problems and fall-outs.
Both, Sam and Dean, know their father makes everything more complicated and opens up so many questions, but at the moment, they just enjoy being the three Winchesters again.
John Winchester doesn't know why he has been rescued, but right now, he is thankful to be with his sons.
He loves them more than anything. All the drama and the chaos can wait. He is just glad he can enjoy this moment and will treasure all the time he has with his sons. This time around he is going to be a better father and person. Being a hunter will come second.
Momentarily, it is the three Winchesters, together. They are being a family.
A few hours later, Dean is sleeping, too, and John is watching over both his sleeping sons.
He whispers quietly and affectionately to his sons, "I love you."
He will use a second chance.
He may not be needed, but he is welcomed.
He will be there for his sons.
They still love him despite everything that has happened, and he loves them more than anything else.
Right now, he forgets all the problems and questions and relishes the moment with his family.
They will have to find answers to their questions and have to overcome new obstacles. Having a family member back means trying out a new family dynamic. John is really sure they will make it to be a family again. They are Winchesters, and they beat all kinds of obstacles.
The three of them are together.
Despite all the lingering problems, it seems too good to be true.
But it is true.
John smiles, and he takes a blanket and covers his sleeping sons with it.
No matter for whatever reason the angels have rescued him, John decides the real reason is family. It is worth it to be here with his sons.
It was just how Chuck had said it: They choose Family. Isn't that the whole point?
FIN
A/N: This was it. I hope you liked it!
To explain how this story came in my mind: I watched season one episodes with John Winchester and some episodes from the fifth/sixth/seventh season. I started to wonder how John would react and interact with his boys and vice versa in the season seven universe. Many of John's beliefs are proven wrong and a lot has changed. I wondered how John would fit in this environment. His sons aren't soldiers anymore but independent heroes.
I can picture this story to have a sequel or to become a verse, so if you think it would be interesting tell me.
I hope you leave me a review. I will gladly accept constructive critic, so suggest what I can do better.
Thank you very much for reading.
Sincerely,
The author