"We need fundraising ideas, the electrics in that rehearsal room (actually a disused lecture theatre) have gone beyond dangerous, and we have a grand total of £22.67 and frankly that wouldn't even cover Miranda's biscuit bill."

"Rude."

"And I don't want the usual cake sale/prowling the campus in fancy dress with buckets/and especially not a sponsored gallop." Is is pick on Miranda day? If so no one told me.

Stevie has been voted chair of the drama society and typically is taking it more seriously than if she had been voted prime minister.

"I don't know what's wrong with a cake sale, and you could always make extra for your bestest friend, and then she tried to blame me for spending all the money on biscuits, and my idea for her went down well with everyone else, her very mature response was to throw a notepad at me."

"You knew she would be like this when you voted her in." This was Gary's standard response to my, now weekly, rant about Stevie. "So, any ideas yet that aren't banned or end with things being thrown at you?"

"No, I've been rather distracted thinking about your cakes."

Stevie was very disappointed that none of us had any ideas, and then cheered up when she said that any we would have had, wouldn't be as good as hers anyway.

"A man auction." Quite a few of us were confused. "We auction off the services of men for the evening." I let out an involuntary snigger. "Not like that, to cook dinner for you, or wait on you hand and foot, and of all else fails put up some shelves."

"Is this all because you can't reach the top bookshelf and want it moving down."

"No, it was just an idea off the top of my head. So we need to get as many guys on board in the next 2 weeks, and Miranda I need you to use your little, if any, feminine charms" "Rude."

"To get our star lot, Gary."

"I'll try, but he won't do it." "I won't do it."

"Please, she's pinning all her hopes on you."

"I'm not parading around with no top on."

"I didn't say anything about having no top on." Though I am certainly thinking about it now. "You've done one before, haven't you?"

"Yes, mum bribed me by paying for my lads' holiday when I'd finished my A levels, it was so embarrassing, I was the only one under 40, all the women clubbed together to buy me and I had to clean all their cars in the smallest pair of shorts imaginable." I was distracted again.

"It's going to be very classy, you just need to look a little less, student. I do like the stubble though, suits you."

"Fine, I'll do it, but if the creepy one from the flat next to Stevie buys me, I am holding you personally responsible." The day of the auction arrived and frankly the only person who was excited about it was Stevie, I was so desperate to get people there I spent the day saying 'yes there will be wine/beer/gin/vodka/whisky' though someone I'd never seen before was disappointed at the lack of creme de menthe, I do hope that was a joke. If we thought that Stevie was bad enough in the meetings, it was nothing compared to her being let loose with a gavel, spend more than 10 seconds debating your bid and she would start waving it threateningly. I was was on the end of most threatening wave because I dared to bid for Gary.

"You can't bid, you're my assistant."

"Since when." "Since I started this auction."

"Is it written down anywhere?"

"Well, no." Thankfully 'Things Stevie Decided' was voted not enough reason to stop me bidding, and I won, so I have Gary at my command for an evening, it's a rather exciting idea it must be said. I had him spend the afternoon baking for me, unfortunately he rather quickly smelt a rat.

"I know you like the cakes." Understatement. "But I have to just ask, what do you want?" "Mum's having a garden party at the end of the month, I need a 'date'." He agreed, but I do have to buy him dinner, but I do also have the power of reminding him that he escaped a terrifying fate with Anna.

A/N apologies for early formatting issues, technology had gone into revolt