I've edited this so it doesn't suck as much as before.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
SLAM!
As I slide my hand off my alarm and slowly force myself up, I realized that mornings are a hard thing to deal with sometimes. Some mornings you feel like a flower rising out of the ground, refreshed and bright, other mornings you feel like there's always a cloud hovering over your head, slamming hail on you and striking you with lighting at any chance it gets.
Today feels like one of those days. It's a Thursday, and it's my first day at a new school; I don't even know what it's called, or how to get there!
But that's how it usually is.. I always have to switch schools because of my parents work. I get out of my bed and drag my feet to the kitchen. On the way there, I hear the sound of the TV playing, I think it's the news, but I really don't pay attention to it.. There is no need to. It's probably talking about murders, or suicides. Nothing on the news these days are about anything good.
On the counter top, as usual, is a note with a wad of cash. Every Thursday my parents drop off this note, saying how they love me and wish me good luck, yet they never come into my room or stay a little longer until I wake up to say goodbye... I say that, if they really do love me they would try a little harder. Or even keep in contact with me by phone or something.
It's lonely, not having anyone there for you.
I shake my head, moving those feelings to the back of my head and did as I usually do in the morning. Make some toast, get the bath ready, tie up my hair, etc. From there, I can try to guess my way to school.
I made it... I can't believe I made it! In the beginning I was just following kids who wore the same uniform as me, but the closer I got to the school, the more familiar it seemed.. I easily got to the campus, and I didn't even go to the office to get my schedule. Which, I know is strange.. But I feel like I know where I'm going, like my feet are leading me there.
It's a bit comforting, especially since I won't be late on my first day at the new school.
As I got to the door to the class, I suddenly stop on my tracks. My legs start shaking and I cling tightly to my bag. I'm nervous... I can't help it. After going to so many schools, so many times, I know I shouldn't be so scared, but it's nerve wracking. So many people come over to me and talk, and stare. Even now, as I'm standing at this door, I can sense people giving me weird looks. I can't imagine how much of a freak I must look like right now.
I just want to disappear at times like these...
"Ah!" I whimper and quickly cover my mouth. The bell went off.. I wasn't paying attention to the time! Oh no.. I arrived to school without any mistakes and I still ended up late.. Please let this teacher be nice.
I take a deep breath in and listen to the teacher's muffled talk through the door. She sounds nice enough.. Hopefully this will be an easy class for me.
Slowly, I open the door and walk in. I had a smile on my face as I walked to the board, but as I turned to face everyone, the smile disappeared. Everyone looks so.. Confused? Scared? Shocked? I'm sure there's more, but at this point, fear is taking over me. I look over at the teacher, to see if she would start introducing me, only to see that she's just as shocked as everyone else, even covering her mouth.
W... What did I do? Did I mess up already?
I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a seat screech back and a girl scream," Is this some kind of sick joke?!" Hesitantly glancing over at her, I see a girl with long, red hair tied up in a single ponytail, with a scowl on her face and her red eyes burning with anger.
Oh god.. I did something wrong, please no.. Don't get angry at me
".. No way..." Another girl, this time as I look at her, squirming with anxiousness, I see that she has short, blue hair and matching eyes. She doesn't look angry, just shocked.
I wonder, is it because I went in without the teacher introducing me first? I'm so stupid.. How could I forget something to simple! I just waltzed in that rudely, of course they're going to be angry and shocked at me. Or maybe I went into the wrong class?!
I start shaking profusely, tears start to form in my eyes as I quickly look at the ground to avoid the eyes of my classmates. The shame and embarrassment I feel is breaking me down, but then I hear another, sweeter voice.
"H... Homura..."
I snap my eyes towards the one who said my name. Two small pigtails, pink hair and the same shocked expression as the blue haired one. How does she know my name...?
This was becoming too much. I can't do this. I close my eyes, trying to stop the tears from streaming down and dash out of the room.
"Homura!"
It's that pink haired girl calling me again. I don't care. I won't turn around, I won't look back, I'll just run. I just want to get away from there. From the stares and the tension and anger, all of it.
When I my feet stop running, I open my eyes and glance up at the blue sky, panting heavily. I ran to the roof, huh... It's nice outside. It's better than in there, much better. I check my surroundings, and when I'm sure that no one else is up here with me, I fall to my knees. Right then and there, I cry. It's the only way I know of to get rid of the overwhelming stress.
I'll just stay up here for a while, I'm was sure no one will care or notice.
I've been up here for three or so hours.. And I think it's lunch time now.. I wonder if I even made a lunch this morning. I sigh quietly and sit up from the fence I'm leaning against. I probably didn't. I was nervous this morning, even before I got to the school. I look up at the fence I was previously leaning against.. It's huge, golden.. Or maybe bronze? Either way, it's sturdy and created a good amount of shadow... Someone could easily fall asleep here. There's also a lot of benches here, I bet a lot of people come up here to eat lunch...
Which means I should probably leave. Using the fence for support, I rise to my feet and wipe off my uniform. It's my first day, and I still have some classes left, so I can't get it too dirty. I grab my bag, and just as I'm about to walk out, I hear voices coming from the door.
"Sayaka... Do you think I should of ran after her?"
That's...
"No, I think it was right of you to stay behind... I think that if she found out you were following her, it would of freaked her out more."
That's... It's those two from this morning! No, no, no, oh no! Are they still upset about this morning.. I need to hide.. But where?! There's nothing but empty space and benches here. I guess I have no choice...
I quickly duck behind the bench farthest from the door and keep quiet. I don't want any chance of them finding me.
"Do you really think so?..." I heard the pink haired one from earlier sighs.
"Hey, seriously, don't worry about it. If you want, you can talk to her tomorrow. She has to come to school, don't you think?" That's true... I guess that's Sayaka speaking to the pink haired girl.
"Sayaka.. Why aren't you as freaked out as everyone else?"
"What are you talking about, Madoka?"
So then that's her name...
"Of course I'm freaked out! See? My eyes are totally frantic!"
I heard a tiny screech then a giggle and can't help but to peak my head up a bit. They're two benches in front of me. The blue girl, Sayaka, is making funny faces, while moving her eyes everywhere. The pink one, Madoka, is giggling at her actions... I wonder, is that really her type of humor?
"Making stupid faces as usual, huh, Sayaka?" She stops making the silly faces and turns towards another girl walking towards them. It's the red haired girl from this morning that yelled. I definitely don't want her finding me here.
"No, I'm not, Kyouko, I-"
"Oh, oh, right, that's just your regular face." Sayaka quickly gets up from that remark and swings her bag at her, causing the red girl, um, Kyouko, to laugh and run. From there, they played with each other. Trying to hit or pinch or poke at the other... They look like elementary school kids who had crushes on each other but don't know how to say it.
"Now, now you two," Once again, another person walks out, but this time she's yellow...
Why does everyone have a color scheme?
"We're not here to play, we're here to discuss what happened earlier." She has a calm and kind look on her face but a stern voice. Sayaka and Kyouko stop messing with each other and sit down next to one another. Madoka glances down at the ground and Kyouko crosses one of her legs over the other. Not a very good idea in a skirt.
I think she also takes some food out of her bag.. It is lunch time, so I don't doubt it.
"So, explain to me exactly what happened this morning."
"Well.. She's back."
"She?"
Madoka squirms slightly" Homura..."
The yellow girl gives a surprised look then puts her hand on her chin and looks down in thought. Why do they keep talking about me? What do they mean by "back"? I just got here today... I've never been to this school before.
And how does that girl know my name... I don't know her, or them... Any of them... Right?
I stare down at the ground and at my hands. The cement on this roof is colder than I imagined it would be. That doesn't matter, I need to continue listening to their conversation. Something seems off. I peek my head back up and end up squealing and falling back after getting face to face with this strange white, cat-like creature.
" What was that?!" I hear someone yell, but I don't really know who. I'm too busy staring at this strange creature. It's tail flickered as it gleamed down at me with unblinking eyes. I shiver at how creepy it was.
"Hey," I tense up slightly and glide my eyes up towards whomever was standing above me. It's Sayaka," Your glasses are crooked."
"O-Oh.." She has a somber smile on her face.. I wonder why, but ignored it as I fix my glasses and slowly stand up. Once again, I wipe off my clothes. My eyes are drawn to the ground and my fingers can't help but to mess with each other. I was caught spying on them, and even worse, they still might be upset about this morning. Which meant that they're probably even more upset at me now.
"H-Homura..." I can hear Madoka's footsteps as she comes towards me. For some reason, hearing her say my name over and over, makes me want to go to her and embrace her. In fact, as I look around at everyone surrounding me, with the exception of the white cat thing, I want to hug all of them. Why is that...
"Calm down everyone," The yellow one walks over to us and smiles gently at me," I'm sure she's still shaky from this morning, and all of us crowding around her like this isn't helping." They all look at the her and nod then back up slightly. My body relaxes at this point and I notice that I'm starting to breath again. Do I always stop breathing when I tense up?
"I'm Tomoe Mami," She extends her hand out to me with the same gentle smile and patiently waits for me to grab her hand.
I'm a little reluctant to do so" A-Ah..." But I do it anyway. When my hand clasps onto hers, it feels nice, warm" I-I'm Akemi Homura..."
They already know that, so why did I say that?
"Nice to meet you, Ms. Akemi~" Her smile becomes brighter and she holds onto my hand for a little bit longer before she let's go. I don't know why, but I feel a pierce of sadness hit my heart. It's strange, why do I feel that way?
"Well, since we're introducing ourselves!" I look over at Sayaka, who had her hands stretched out behind her head and a giant grin on her face" I'm Miki Sayaka! Nice to meet you!" They can stop saying that, it's really obvious that they know who I am. I nod at her, and after a brief moment of silence, Madoka speaks up
"I-I'm Madoka!" She says nervously, taking a step forward"... Kaname Madoka.." She quiets down after that and glances back at the ground.
"Geez Madoka," Sayaka bumps her hip with Madoka's," It's so not like you to act like this, what's up?"
"I.. It's nothing." She gives me a nervous glance and goes back to the cement. Sayaka blinks at her friend with confusion then groans" Man, I can't stand this weird mood. And you," She looks at Kyouko with a slight frown and points to her," You haven't introduced yourself yet!"
"Yeah, yeah," I look over at Kyouko, half expecting her to glare at me, but instead I'm given a large lollipop. I look at the candy, then to her and see that she's facing away from me," Sakura Kyouko..." She looks over at me, an embarrassed expression plastered on her face, she's even blushing slightly," And sorry for earlier... I over-reacted..."
I blink at her then smiled slightly and take the lollipop. She reminds me of a little kid. It's a little comforting.
I also know everyone's full names now, so I can use them properly... I don't know them that well, and they do seem suspicious, but I should still use their names correctly.
"Well, now that everyone is acquainted with each other, let's finish our lunch and head back to class, hm?" The cat creature hops onto Ms. Tomoe's shoulder as she talks to everyone and I back away slightly. Have they not noticed that thing yet? Or maybe they were ignoring it...?
"Back to class?" Ms. Miki gives Ms. Tomoe a shocked look" No way! We just made a new friend!" Ms. Miki smiles again and turns to Ms. Tomoe" Shouldn't we go to your place and celebrate with some cake?"
"Oh, yeah!" Ms. Sakura seems to shine at the thought of eating the cake, her eyes even sparkle" I want to eat some more of your cake, Mami!"
"Don't you mean you want to celebrate getting a new friend?" Ms. Miki gives Ms. Sakura an annoyed look with a blank tone and Ms. Sakura blinks at her," Oh..
Yeah, that too."
"Nope." Ms. Tomoe closes her eyes to block out the looks of disappointment her two younger friends are giving her. Soon the looks turned into small fits of whining, so Ms. Tomoe resorts to covering her ears and humming a quiet song. You'd think she'd yell at them after a while, but instead she just smiles, like she enjoys messing with them like that. It bothers me slightly, how quiet Ms. Kaname's being, so I look over to her to see if she's alright but I falter a bit when our eyes meet. It surprises me, and apparently also surprises her, because she glances down at the ground again. Why does she keep doing that?
"The answer is no." Ms. Tomoe finally speaks up again, slowly putting her eyes down and frowning at Ms. Sakura" What kind of role model would I be if I encouraged the kind of behavior like skipping school just to eat some cake and drink tea?"
Ms. Sakura pouts at her" Aw, come on Mami, skipping one time won't kill us."
Ms. Tomoe shakes her head and crosses her arms" I said no and that's final."
"Well, if Mami says no, then Mami says no." Ms. Miki sighs, putting her hands behind her head again and leaning to the side," Dang, I got really hungry thinking about those cakes. I wasn't able to eat breakfast or make myself a lunch."
"Yeah, me too.." Ms. Sakura rubs her stomach, exasperating a sigh. Her stomach grumbles and her head tilts to the side with a tiny groan escaping her mouth.
"Huh?! You brought a ton of food for lunch! And you finished them all already!"
"And?! That doesn't mean I still can't be hungry!"
"My my..." Ms. Tomoe interrupts their argument and smiles slightly" If you two are hungry... Then I guess I have no choice but to take you over to my house now and feed you."
"Wait seriously?!" Ms. Sakura, once again, is sparkling with excitement
"Really Mami?!" Ms. Miki smiles at her big breasted friend.
Oh god.
Wait, no, I didn't say big breasted.
I-I didn't mean it anyway!
A-Anyway, Ms. Tomoe seems to have a proud smirk on her face," Of course, what kind of upperclassman would I be if I left my friends starving?"
"Sweet!" Ms. Sakura nearly jumps off the roof from happiness.
"Yes! Thanks Mami!" Ms. Miki laughs cheerfully and wraps her arm around Ms. Kaname's shoulder, startling her pink eyed friend.
To me, it seems like Ms. Tomoe actually does want to go home. She changed her opinion on skipping fairly quickly.
"But only this one time, do you understand? We already miss enough classes as it is."
"Yeah, yeah, totally!" Ms. Miki laughs again and wraps her other arm around my shoulder and brings me into a hug. It makes me slightly uncomfortable... I don't know her well enough to be this intimate, but I can't just push her away... I can feel my cheeks heat up. Let's just go over to Ms. Tomoe's house soon and get this day over with. I want to go home.
I also want to get away from whatever that.. White thing is.. I don't look over, but I can tell that he's staring me down... I don't like it.
"Alright, time to chow down on some tasty snacks!" Ms. Sakura chimes as we walk into Ms. Tomoe's apartment.
"You have to wait until I make the tea and prepare everything. Why don't you help me, Kyouko?"
"If it means getting the food sooner, then hell yeah I'll help!" I watch those two leave and go into the kitche and realize that I'm now stuck with Ms. Kaname and Ms. Miki.
How can I put this nicely...
I wish I had just ran away and gone home!
Ms. Miki is too touchy feely sometimes and Ms. Kaname is as awkward as I am right now! Even now, we're just standing here! Someone please help me break the awkward silence!
"Well," Not you, Ms. Miki!" What are we doing, standing here? Let's go sit where we usually do!" Without a word from either me or Ms. Kaname, we follow Ms. Miki to a small triangle shaped table and sat down. Ms. Miki sits in front of the couch, Ms. Kaname sits to her right and I sit next to Ms. Kaname. Then, the white thing walks out of wherever Ms. Tomoe is and lies down on the couch. Ugh, it still makes me shudder. Again, there's nothing being said between any of us. At least we aren't standing...
There's no possible way for me to start a conversation, so I do the only thing I know I can do. I look around the room.
Everything in the apartment looked nice. She obviously takes very good care of it. The carpet below us feels very soft, the couch behind Ms. Miki looks very comfy too... And... Familiar.
There goes that feeling again. The more I gaze around the room, the more it feels like I belong here. Like, I've been here so many times, that it's a second home to me. Even with the weird tension going on right now, at this moment, I feel so relaxed that I could lay down and fall asleep on this fluffy carpet.
I end up scanning the rest of the room and my eyes accidently meet with Ms. Miki's... How long has she been looking at me? Once again I can feel the heat rising into my cheeks and I look down at the carpet. I hate getting into eye contact with people. I look back up to her and see that she's grinning at me again," Do you like this place, Homura?"
Why are you calling me by my first name," U-Uh... Yeah..." I glance up at the ceiling and smile slightly" I like the feel of Ms. Tomoe's place... It's kind of relaxing..."
"Heh, it is, isn't it? I can't even think of how many times I've come over here! All I know is that it's had to have been a while, since Mami gave me spare keys and all. Actually, she's given it to everyone, I think."
"Really?" I give my attention back to Ms. Miki with, I'm sure, a surprised look on my face. I've never been to close enough to anyone to get spare keys to their house... How close are these girls, I wonder...
"Oh, definitely... Don't tell her I told you this, but," Ms. Miki leans over Ms. Kaname to whisper to me," Mami gets lonely. She likes to hide it, but we all know it's true. So every once and awhile, we'll all just pop in randomly and say hi, maybe stay for the night." Stay the night?... I don't think I've done that before either...
"Sayaka!" Ms. Kaname finally speaks up, grabbing Ms. Miki by her shoulders and putting her back to her spot then whispered," Don't just say that, what if Mami heard! She'd feel so embarrassed.."
Ms. Miki laughs a bit" Nah, it's fine! I was whispering, there was no way she could hear me!"
"Hear you what?" All three of us tense up when we hear Ms. Tomoe.
"W.. Well.. Uh.." Ms. Miki scratches her chin and looks away while Ms. Tomoe places tea cups and a pot on the middle of the table. It looked so fancy...
"Can't even think of a good excuse, huh?" Ms. Sakura slides into the room, holding onto two full sized cakes in her hands and a giant smirk plastered on her face. Ms. Miki returns that smirk with an agitated pout" Who even asked you..."
Do they always do this?
Ms. Sakura puts the cakes down on the table and plops down next to Ms. Miki then ruffles her hair, causing Ms. Miki to grab Ms. Sakura's hand and shove it back in her face.
They always do this.
Ms. Tomoe squashes in between them to stop them from messing with each other. She then claps her hands together, smiling happily," The tea and cake is ready! Let's start the celebration!"
Ms. Miki and Ms. Sakura cheer and as Ms. Tomoe leans forward to pour tea into everyone's cups, Ms. Kaname and I stay still and quiet. I can't explain it, but it doesn't feel right. She seems like someone who is outgoing, not shy or timid. More than that.. She keep looking down... She won't look at anyone... If I'm right, that's a sign of guilt. What does she have to feel guilty about?
Either way... I don't like it. She deserves to be as happy as everyone else here, right?
I'm exactly sure how to cheer people up... But, to me, it seems like she needs a hug.
I-I'm not going to do it directly, but...
I unconsciously keep my eyes on the ground and, with my whole face going red, I scoot in closer to Ms. Kaname until our legs are practically touching. God, I hope I'm not acting creepy. My eyes move from the soft carpet up to Ms. Kaname. She's looking at me with wide eyes.
Oh no, I'm being creepy. She's going to hate me...
To my surprise, Ms. Kaname has tears forming in her eyes. W-Wait, did me getting that close really freak her out that much?! I'm not that creepy, am I...?
"Homura!" She screams my name then lunges at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I start to panic, I've never had someone wrap themselves around me like that, and on top of that, I know that the others are staring at me. I don't even want to look up because I don't want to meet their eyes, it'd make things even more awkward," M-Ms. Kaname..."
"I-It's Madoka!" She loosens her grip on me and looks at me, smiling brightly," Call me Madoka!"
Her first name...? We aren't that close... Yet, my mouth starts to move on my own" M.. Mado.." My fingers gently slide over my mouth as I say her name,"... Madoka..." It feels so natural to say that name. It feels... Right.
"Homura!" She screams my name, giggling, and holds me tightly again. I smile a little... I may not know these people well, but, right now.. Everything seems alright.
With the exception of the cat thing that's still here. He's been laying on the couch this whole time and no one's said anything. Please just let it be my imagination.
From there on, the rest of the night was fun. I actually managed to have a regular conversation with everyone, and even... Madoka was more lively and talkative than before. It was great. I don't think I ever had this much fun in a long time.
Ah, but all great things must come to an end. It was around midnight when I get back home. When Ms. Tomoe realized what time it was, and how long we've been there, she freaked out. It was actually kind of funny. She told us that she would apologize to our parents later on, though she didn't have to worry about that with me. This house is as empty as always. I don't know where my parents are, but they probably don't care if I get home midnight, or even get home at all.
I run to my room and change into my night clothes. I'm not really all that tired... It must be all of that tea.
Heehee, just thinking about everything we talked about, I can't help but giggle a bit. I go downstairs and hop onto the couch, curling my legs up to me chest and hugging my knees. I probably should've grabbed my toy bunny to grab onto, but I already sat down and I don't really want to move again.
It seems that I left the TV on from this morning, so it's still on the news. Oh well, it's fine. I'm sure nothing big is going on.
"Good evening, today, on November twentieth..."
I blink and perk up slightly. November twentieth..? That can't be right... The day I was suppose to transfer to that school was September eighteenth .. That's almost two months apart.
Something wasn't right. I grab the remote and quickly turn off the TV. This is disturbing.
First, it's being able to get to the school without a problem, all of these feelings of familiarity, those girls being so friendly with me... Just what's going on here?
I don't think I can just let this pass. I need to find out what's going on... And I need to find out now.